Lincoln Riley throws covid parties at nursing homes.

[Longboard Horn 41319]

Lincoln Riley pees at public urinals with his pants and underwear pulled all the way down

[Dnaguy 12572]

Lincoln Riley orders cauliflower rice on his Freebird.

[South Austin 53154]

Lincoln Riley has people skills! He is good at dealing with people!

[idigTexas 2321]

Lincoln Riley's mother was a hamster, and his father smelt of elderberries.

[idigTexas 2321]

Lincoln Riley can't handle the truth.

[Sgt Hulk 14330]

Lincoln riley drives slow in the left lane with his blinker on 

[idigTexas 2321]

Lincoln Riley drinks his own urine because it is sterile, and he likes the taste.

[idigTexas 2321]

Lincoln Riley still insists that Lance Armstrong didn't cheat.

[Alien Octopus 629]

Lincoln Riley goes down on strippers, like a Sunday morning douche.

[Your Mom 4956]

Lincoln Riley's favorite day in Fall is when Pumpkin Spice Latte returns to the Starbucks menu.

[TexArcher 38816]

Lincoln Riley minds the step-children.

[dingleberryswitzer 2724]

Lincoln Riley leaves clothes on the dressing run floor

[dcbc 14641]

Lincoln Riley makes guacamole out of green crayons.

[DoobieWah 1528]

Lincoln Riley was named for the logs, not the president

Lincoln Riley told the rebels it was NOT a trap. 

When Mrs Riley says it’s sexy time, Lincoln fetches her strap-on and calls her “Mistress Peggy”.

[Bojack 2087]

I was in line behind Lincoln Riley at HEB yesterday.  For 10 minutes, he tried to convince the cashier that HEB should have those customer rewards cards.  He started pulling his cards from other stores out of his wallet and slapping them down on the counter. "Albertson's!  Kroger!  Carr's!  Ralph's!  Randall's!  CVS!  I'm sorry you're too stupid to understand this!"

[Pig Bellmont 8867]

Lincoln Riley has that genetic anomaly that makes cilantro taste like soap

[Guest Lobo]

Did Lincoln Riley have 11 items in the Express Lane, and them attempt to pay by check?  

[stork642 4511]

Lincoln Riley enjoys the prep for colonoscopies. 
 

 

[Bojack 2087]

1 minute ago, Lobo said:

Did Lincoln Riley have 11 items in the Express Lane, and them attempt to pay by check?  

No.  He had 5 items in the only regular lane that was open.  He ended up splitting the total between a debit card and check.  He asked for cigarettes.  When the cashier finally came back, he got really mad and yelled, "I asked for soft pack!"  After he paid, he looked at the receipt and disputed the price of one of his items, "your sign said they were 2 for 1$.  You charged me $3.24 each!"

[Orale 1176]

Lincoln Riley coaches at OU.

[Guest Lobo]

Lincoln Riley audited Urban Meyer's OSU course "Character & Leadership"  And got a D.

[Domedriver 655]

Lincoln Riley learned his Butttalk from the Stoops Crack and always offers a bag of dick in hospitality!

Edited October 4, 2021 by Domedriver

[ROFL BOX 6654]

Lincoln Riley IS the prep for colonoscopies. 

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[Droopy 2637]

Lincoln Riley is going to lose this game on Saturday and become Sark's bitch. 

[Guest Lobo]

Lincoln Riley gave Larry the Cable Guy that OU hat he always wears.

[Celery Man 21076]

Lincoln Riley pressures the Big XII to schedule OU kickoffs at 11 so that he is able to pursue his second passion in the evening - planning and coordinating fall weddings.

[El Squared 1838]

Lincoln Riley uses rabbit pellets in his Traegor.

[El Squared 1838]

Lincoln Riley puts dingleberries on his ice cream sundaes.

[El Squared 1838]

Lincoln Riley tried to patent crotchless pantyliners.

[El Squared 1838]

Lincoln Riley likes to go to meetings.

[DanTheHorn 5061]

Lincoln Riley likes posters who post dozens of Lincoln Riley's and no good ones.

[Guest Lobo]

Lincoln Riley camped out all night for the final 'Twilight' release.  Book, not the movie.

[Eskimohorn 5675]

Lincoln Riley got a VIP ACL pass, and after flying into ABIA drove 90 miles north to visit the Magnolia store in Waco.

[BabaYaga 15532]

Hey!  Psst.  Lincoln.  Over here.  Real quick...

[lemonandaturd 4289]

Lincoln Riley made sure his daughter took plenty of condoms with her on prom night.  

[Eskimohorn 5675]

Lincoln Riley always leaves a grocery cart in the handicapped space because he believes they’re being coddled too much.

[Rimbo 26853]

17 hours ago, Wax Beer Cup said:

Lincoln Riley thinks South Austin’s mom is a virgin.

so South Austin is Lincoln Riley Jesus then?

[El Squared 1838]

Lincoln Riley thought a superspreader event was Souf Austin's mom last Saturday.......and he was right.

[idigTexas 2321]

Lincoln Riley uses lead paint on his walls to keep Radical Larry from vibrating through them.

[Hmbre97 6337]

Lincoln Riley 'adopts' free kittens and puppies so he doesn't have to buy feeder mice for his pet snakes

[Hmbre97 6337]

Lincoln Riley tricks his grandmother into signing over her SSI checks to him so he can use it on his bass boat payments

[6th Street 6654]

Lincoln Riley wears a mask while driving

[Nueces River Rat 5739]

Lincoln Riley kicks all the women and children out of Tornado shelters .

[Nueces River Rat 5739]

Lincoln Riley gets drunk on just one 3.2 beer. 

[UTexasFight 9788]

George Costanza got the inspiration for this scene after witnessing Lincoln Riley pull the fire alarm and doing this at a covid party he was throwing at a nursing home

 

[ROFL BOX 6654]

Lincoln Riley"s burps sound like a queef.

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[Horn of Gabriel 1883]

Lincoln Riley drives past 3 HEB's to shop at Kroger.

[Nueces River Rat 5739]

Lincoln Riley likes women with hairy armpits.

[coachherman'sgrill 2627]

Lincoln Riley watches the View.

[coachherman'sgrill 2627]

Lincoln Riley once left a threesome because his visor kept getting in the way.