Lincoln Riley throws covid parties at nursing homes.

[TexTexTex 104]

Back in middle school when kids would type 58008 on their TI-83 calculators and hand it upside down to Lincoln Riley he would tell the teacher they were being inappropriate 

[MrBig 5289]

Lincoln Riley draws up plays with RoseArt crayons.

[Dnaguy 11777]

Lincoln Riley makes hair dolls from stray pubes on truck stop urinals

[pops 6974]

Lincoln Riley leaves his shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot. 

[coachherman'sgrill 1982]

Lincoln Riley pays for his after work gas station beer in change.

[coachherman'sgrill 1982]

Lincoln Riley doesn't like the combination of Dr. P and peanuts.

[South Austin 52144]

Lincoln Riley called the shit “poop.”

[Eskimohorn 5615]

Lincoln Riley only ever laughs at Dane Cook arena concerts and Schindler’s List.

[ROFL BOX 6647]

Lincoln Riley always first tries to use an eraser on an Etch a Sketch instead of shaking it.

[Zone Read 299]

Lincoln Riley never had the makings of a varsity athlete.

[Nueces River Rat 5529]

Lincoln Riley wishes HEB would follow Whataburger and sell to a Chicago investment firm.

[Vic Mackey 46936]

 

[TexLonghorn 5593]

Lincoln Riley was saying "Boo-urns."

[South Austin 52144]

Lincoln Riley thinks Lowell Galindo is an excellent play-by-play announcer.

[MAUFRAIS 6578]

Lincoln Riley will be up in his room, masturbating.

[Guest Lobo]

Lincoln Riley still refers to his grandmother as "Me-Maw" when there are no children in the room.  

[coachherman'sgrill 1982]

Lincoln Riley uses expired coupons.

[coachherman'sgrill 1982]

Lincoln Riley thanks Jarred Kushner is a great landlord./No CR

Edited October 8, 2021 by coachherman'sgrill
Didn't add the No CR

[Guest Lobo]

Dude, NO FUCKING CLOAK ROOM!  Dorothy Kushner is a Saint.  You hear me?  A saint.

[VaLonghorn99 340]

Lincoln Riley still writes checks at the grocery store checkout

[Eskimohorn 5615]

Lincoln Riley invented Mayo Popcorn Salad

[coachherman'sgrill 1982]

22 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Dude, NO FUCKING CLOAK ROOM!  Dorothy Kushner is a Saint.  You hear me?  A saint.

I fucked that up. 

Lincoln Riley puts ketchup on his steak.

[Guest Lobo]

I'm just giving you shit.  I thought your post was funny actually.  

It's the weird juxtaposed opinion we have of our fucked up neighbors to the North.  They are land-stealing, mouth-breathing, cousin-fucking shitbags to their dying breath.  But goddamnit...on Election Day...they are our proud brothers and we shall stand shoulder-to-shoulder with them in lockstep to victory?

If it were up to me, their entire state would be "Evacuated" and we'd simply rethink the Electoral College.  Those people shouldn't allowed to vote, breed, or play football.  But here we fucking are 'cause of the damn Constitution.  

Fuck Lincoln Riley.  Fuck Oklahoma.  

If there had been a Plan-B/Morning After Pill for November 17th 1907, American should have taken the whole fucking pill bottle and washed it down with vodka.

[Bill Lumbergh 7170]

Lincoln Riley's top three reasons for wanting to move to the sec are: 1) Paul Feinbaum, 2) Paul Feinbaum, 3) the racism