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Posted

(I kind of wish this had happened when he was at Bama. Because I would pay all kinds of money to watch Saban go all stripper spider monkey on the first reporter who asked him about it.)

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Posted
9 minutes ago, sidis said:

a kid wandering into someone else's backyard where there was a monkey in a cage that bit the nosy kid is creating all this dramatic twitter fervor?  or is it just that the non-surly longhorn community is just now finding out about pole assassin and they can't stop giggling?

god damn you fuckers are bored.  pandemic broke you people.

It’s just not college football fans in general. There are a lot of Longhorn fans that had no idea about Pole Assassin and the monkey.

whatever, it’s the best I’ve felt about the football program since the OSU game.

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Posted
12 hours ago, dcar00 said:

that's funny, when Banks met her she said she was working towards her law degree...

She meant Law of the Jungle degree.

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Posted (edited)

If the ISU band doesn't play something like Shock The Monkey or We're The Monkees during the game Saturday I will be severely disappointed.

ETA - Or The Beatles' Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except For Me And My Monkey.

Edited by Scheiss Meister
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Posted
30 minutes ago, sidis said:

a kid wandering into someone else's backyard where there was a monkey in a cage that bit the nosy kid is creating all this dramatic twitter fervor?  or is it just that the non-surly longhorn community is just now finding out about pole assassin and they can't stop giggling?

god damn you fuckers are bored.  pandemic broke you people.

What else are we going to talk about?  Our football team?

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Posted
2 hours ago, TriStone said:

 

I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume this explanation is accurate.  Fuck that nosy little trespassing shithead.

 

Legit LOL’d at the handwritten “Emotional Support Animal Do Not Touch” sign. She still probably should completely turn off the Twitter and Instagram machines. 

Posted
4 hours ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

So, who made the call to The Wolf?  

4wKme.jpg

 

 

tangent: some consider the big secret of Pulp Fiction is what is the briefcase. I've always wanted to know what kind of party does someone throw at 8am where people are dressed like this.

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Posted

I think CDC should give the monkey a booth on Bevo Blvd. 5 minutes before the game monkey dons a specially made jet pack (monkeys were first in space) and flies into the stadium where ha lands in the waiting arms of Beef Supreme (Vince) riding high atop Bevo. The band hits the drum roll to The Eyes the monkey extends a well trained hook ‘em and then they slowly saunter down the field as the band plays and gore the opposing coach to the crowd’s delight.

Fuck it Full Idiocracy.

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Posted

Can you imagine Banks ex having to send her kids over to his house.  Just let them have a hand grenade fight in the middle of a busy freeway.  If I had to pick I would go with the grenade fight. 

Posted (edited)
7 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

tangent: some consider the big secret of Pulp Fiction is what is the briefcase. I've always wanted to know what kind of party does someone throw at 8am where people are dressed like this.

https://movies.stackexchange.com/questions/88248/where-is-mr-wolf-seen-to-be-present-in-his-introduction-scene-in-pulp-fiction

From the script.  Illegal gambling in hotel suite in LA.  Also, while he's on the phone,  you can hear "place your bets" in the background a few times.

Quote
INT. HOTEL SUITE – MORNING

           The CAMERA looks through the bedroom doorway of a hotel suite 
           into the main area. We SEE a crap game being played on a 
           fancy crap table by GAMBLERS in tuxedos and LUCKY LADIES in 
           fancy evening gowns. The CAMERA PANS to the right revealing: 
           Sitting on a bed, phone in hand with his back to us, the 
           tuxedo-clad WINSTON WOLF aka "THE WOLF". We also see The 
           Wolf has a small notepad that he jots details in.

 

 

Edited by Francisco 2.0
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Posted
12 minutes ago, stork642 said:

Can you imagine Banks ex having to send her kids over to his house.  Just let them have a hand grenade fight in the middle of a busy freeway.  If I had to pick I would go with the grenade fight. 

This dude left his wife and kids, lives with a washed up stripper in a house with a dedicated emotional support monkey zone, and now literally everyone in his professional circle is dragging him because the monkey bit a kid. 

harrison ford jones GIF

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Posted
This dude left his wife and kids, lives with a washed up stripper in a house with a dedicated emotional support monkey zone, and now literally everyone in his professional circle is dragging him because the monkey bit a kid. 
200.gif

196e8424d004296160e95c3486edd449.jpg
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Posted

Not sure if anybody here listens to the Pat McAfee show on SiriusXM on MadDog radio but for a national show, he has been going on and on about Banks, Pole Assassin, her monkey, etc...  It's bad enough we suck but this is not great optics for UT at this point.  

Posted
33 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

This dude left his wife and kids, lives with a washed up stripper in a house with a dedicated emotional support monkey zone, and now literally everyone in his professional circle is dragging him because the monkey bit a kid. 

harrison ford jones GIF


the stripper hustle is real. 
 

don’t fall in love with hos 

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Posted
1 hour ago, Scheiss Meister said:

If the ISU band doesn't play something like Shock The Monkey or We're The Monkees during the game Saturday I will be severely disappointed.

ETA - Or The Beatles' Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except For Me And My Monkey.

This would be better bro.......

 

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Posted

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the monkey is bitin’
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the monkey is bitin’ 
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When it bites them against their will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the kiddo is cryin'

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