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[Monkeying Around] Jeff Banks…

Fondren & Main

By Fondren & Main
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Gooby
Gooby

Did anyone mention the possibility that the kid was trick or treating and hoping to find a house that was giving out Rhesus?

Levi
Levi
Hank Scorpio
Hank Scorpio

We’ve all been there, it’s Halloween, you left your wife and kids for a stripper so you don’t even remember that until you see a kid in a pirate costume, you’re trying to study film to come up with an

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Al Czervik

Al Czervik 1229

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, ATXbronco said:

The Internet says Jerry was once a Mayor near where the broadcast will be taking place.

The Internet also shares this.

giphy-downsized.gif

Is that Honey Melons 88HHH?

HM88HHH hit young Al in the back of his head with one of her 88’s because he was talking to his buddies and not giving said stripper attention nor US paper currency.  This was at a bachelor party in dusty old Lubbock at place called Players, Al remembers. Another one of the entertainers that night pulled off young Al’s belt a gave him a whipping because of his frugality with his said US paper currency as well.  Al realized that night that he is not a strip club guy.  Stripping, serious business.   
Wonder how the probably elder HM88HHH is doing these days.  
Thanks for posting this, oh the sand filled callous mammories that were created that night.  

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Nope

Nope 3114

Posted
Posted
On 11/5/2021 at 8:23 AM, FirstTimeCaller said:

Anyone notice how the monkey story went completely silent? Like there was story after story and all the sudden it turned off?

I think someone is pulling some strings behind the curtain man. Someone doesn't want the truth to shine. How come we don't have a statement from Gia either confirming or denying the situation? Where is the allegedly bitten child? Is the university hiding him from the public because he is so horribly maimed? Or was there never a monkey bite at all and this is all part of a larger plot to take the focus off the on-field performance of the football team?

I don't know, but it all smells pretty fishy monkey to me.

That’s just how the news cycle works these days.

No room for a silly story like this between the Ruggs and Aaron Rodgers stories.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Posted

Cannot speak to mental trauma.  But physically the kid is fine.  Family decided not to make a civil claim after seeing the disaster of a program Banks works for.  
 

we like to say on here that Longhorn football has been wandering, for the last dozen seasons, in ‘the Wilderness’ or ‘the Desert.’  But today my friends, we descend further into ‘the Jungle’.  And we don’t get out the other side for quite awhile. 

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Guadaloopy

Guadaloopy 10973

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Posted
1 hour ago, Lobo said:

Cannot speak to mental trauma.  But physically the kid is fine.  Family decided not to make a civil claim after seeing the disaster of a program Banks works for.  
 

we like to say on here that Longhorn football has been wandering, for the last dozen seasons, in ‘the Wilderness’ or ‘the Desert.’  But today my friends, we descend further into ‘the Jungle’.  And we don’t get out the other side for quite awhile. 

apocalypse now horror GIF by Maudit

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dcar00

dcar00 14210

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Tex-19 said:

Maybe wrong thread but just saw that Dicker is leading the nation in net punt average. Banks doing his thing on ST. 

I'm generally pleased with the ST.  we've had 4 bad plays.  Ark - Dickers drop, OU - worthy fumble, Baylor - Stupidly timed fake punt, TCU- opening KO return

OU and Baylor could have been game changers so those were very bad

TCU - we won

Ark - didn't really matter as we were beat from the time we stepped on the field.

we've also blocked some punts and kicks

My main gripes are taking out the KO's(could have potentially saved us against OU) and the fact that we regularly let punts bounce instead of fair catching them.

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Crapinon

Crapinon 2257

Posted
Posted
On 11/5/2021 at 5:59 PM, ATXbronco said:

The Internet says Jerry was once a Mayor near where the broadcast will be taking place.

The Internet also shares this.

giphy-downsized.gif

Jerry Springer lost his job as Mayor because he paid hookers with checks. And you have to be a frequent flyer to pay for hookups with a check. 

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jinx

jinx 2635

Posted
Posted
On 11/8/2021 at 12:18 PM, Lobo said:

Cannot speak to mental trauma.  But physically the kid is fine.  Family decided not to make a civil claim after seeing the disaster of a program Banks works for.  
 

we like to say on here that Longhorn football has been wandering, for the last dozen seasons, in ‘the Wilderness’ or ‘the Desert.’  But today my friends, we descend further into ‘the Jungle’.  And we don’t get out the other side for quite awhile. 

Heart of Darkness & Tales of Unrest by Joseph Conrad

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JMFP

JMFP 1120

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Posted
23 minutes ago, Crapinon said:

Jerry Springer lost his job as Mayor because he paid hookers with checks. And you have to be a frequent flyer to pay for hookups with a check. 

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerry_Springer
 

Quote

 

Springer was elected to the Cincinnati City Council in 1971.[11] He resigned in 1974 after admitting to soliciting a prostitute.[11] Springer came clean at a press conference. Long-time Cincinnati newsman Al Schottelkotte pronounced Springer's career over, but Springer's honesty helped him win back his seat in 1975 by a landslide. In a post-election interview, Schottelkotte good-naturedly reminded Springer that he had declared Springer's career over. Springer told the newsman, "I'm glad that you were wrong."[citation needed]

In 1977, he was chosen to serve one year as mayor by the City Council.[11] Springer could only serve one year as mayor due to a political arrangement at the time (Cincinnati has since changed to direct election of its mayor) that required the Democrats to split the mayoral term with a local third party group, the Charter Committee, with whom the Democrats governed in an electoral alliance. In the City Council and as mayor, Springer supported changing the local election system so that council members would be elected by districts (thus better representing neighborhood interests) instead of "9X" at-large system, but his efforts (as well as those of everyone else, to date, who has supported such a change) did not meet with success.

 

 

 

Lost his job on the city council... Cincinnati made him mayor after the prostitution scandal.

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Doctor of Neighborhood

Doctor of Neighborhood 429

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Posted

For the love of all that is holy, how has this thread languished for weeks with no action?  This is quite possibly one of the finest stories you could hope to hear.  The Pole Assassin, a suburban monkey, primal aggression, pro bono medical attention, shameful special teams.  I mean, it’s all here.  The sands of time cannot be allowed to swallow such a tale.  Are there updates?  Anyone?

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South Austin

South Austin 52515

Posted
Posted

This is from a courthouse news subscription I have that lists recently filed lawsuits. It gives the case style, case summary, and plaintiff’s attorney who filed.

Amy Clinkenbeard; Casey Clinkenbeard, individually and as next friend of a minor
v.
Danielle Thomas, aka "The Pole Assassin"; Jeff Banks
12/2/2021 D-1-GN-21-007037 

Gross negligence and defamation for exemplary damages. Plaintiffs' minor child was trick-or-treating with friends when they were invited to defendant Danielle Thomas's home for a haunted house. Afterwards, the children were taken to a monkey that Thomas kept in her backyard and told the monkey was trained to give high fives. Minor plaintiff attempted to high five the monkey, but the animal aggressively bit his hand and caused injuries. Thomas refused to provide vaccination records for her monkey and later falsely stated on social media that minor plaintiff did not have permission to be on the property and then had her friend go on the Bobby Bones Show to give a false version of the events. "Danielle Thomas's actions ignited a media firestorm including articles on the New York Post, Fox, Barstool, Yahoo, and countless others which then further spread through social media."
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Brian Beckom
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mr. sunshine

mr. sunshine 2827

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, South Austin said:

This is from a courthouse news subscription I have that lists recently filed lawsuits. It gives the case style, case summary, and plaintiff’s attorney who filed.

Amy Clinkenbeard; Casey Clinkenbeard, individually and as next friend of a minor
v.
Danielle Thomas, aka "The Pole Assassin"; Jeff Banks
12/2/2021 D-1-GN-21-007037 

Gross negligence and defamation for exemplary damages. Plaintiffs' minor child was trick-or-treating with friends when they were invited to defendant Danielle Thomas's home for a haunted house. Afterwards, the children were taken to a monkey that Thomas kept in her backyard and told the monkey was trained to give high fives. Minor plaintiff attempted to high five the monkey, but the animal aggressively bit his hand and caused injuries. Thomas refused to provide vaccination records for her monkey and later falsely stated on social media that minor plaintiff did not have permission to be on the property and then had her friend go on the Bobby Bones Show to give a false version of the events. "Danielle Thomas's actions ignited a media firestorm including articles on the New York Post, Fox, Barstool, Yahoo, and countless others which then further spread through social media."
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Brian Beckom
VB Attorneys

If I had to come up with a fake last name on the spot I’d probably come up with something really stupid. Like Clinkenbeard 

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nnm

nnm 36418

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, South Austin said:

This is from a courthouse news subscription I have that lists recently filed lawsuits. It gives the case style, case summary, and plaintiff’s attorney who filed.

Amy Clinkenbeard; Casey Clinkenbeard, individually and as next friend of a minor
v.
Danielle Thomas, aka "The Pole Assassin"; Jeff Banks
12/2/2021 D-1-GN-21-007037 

Gross negligence and defamation for exemplary damages. Plaintiffs' minor child was trick-or-treating with friends when they were invited to defendant Danielle Thomas's home for a haunted house. Afterwards, the children were taken to a monkey that Thomas kept in her backyard and told the monkey was trained to give high fives. Minor plaintiff attempted to high five the monkey, but the animal aggressively bit his hand and caused injuries. Thomas refused to provide vaccination records for her monkey and later falsely stated on social media that minor plaintiff did not have permission to be on the property and then had her friend go on the Bobby Bones Show to give a false version of the events. "Danielle Thomas's actions ignited a media firestorm including articles on the New York Post, Fox, Barstool, Yahoo, and countless others which then further spread through social media."
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Brian Beckom
VB Attorneys

Good work @South Austin.  I’m surprised no one else has picked up the practice of biting an unwelcome high-five. 
I notice that the reactions include pos rep from @Doctor of Neighborhood .  Nice. 

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hookem17

hookem17 485

Posted
Posted (edited)

I wish I could share my true opinions of plaintiffs’ counsel. However, I will point out that he’s a massive Aggie fan boy and has one of the lamest podcasts ever in which he hosts a number of Texas A&M-related guests. He played on the aTM basketball team in the 80s, I assume as a walk-on. He was also in the corps for 4 years.  He will absolutely try to connect Banks and UT to the monkey as much as possible.

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South Austin

South Austin 52515

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, hookem17 said:

I wish I could share my true opinions of plaintiffs’ counsel. However, I will point out that he’s a massive Aggie fan boy and has one of the lamest podcasts ever in which he hosts a number of Texas A&M-related guests. He played on the aTM basketball team in the 80s, I assume as a walk-on. He was also in the corps for 4 years.  He will absolutely try to connect Banks and UT to the monkey as much as possible.

He was in my law school class. Didn’t know him well, other than knew his reputation as an unabashed aggy fanboy.

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nnm

nnm 36418

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, hookem17 said:

I wish I could share my true opinions of plaintiffs’ counsel. However, I will point out that he’s a massive Aggie fan boy and has one of the lamest podcasts ever in which he hosts a number of Texas A&M-related guests. He played on the aTM basketball team in the 80s, I assume as a walk-on. He was also in the corps for 4 years.  He will absolutely try to connect Banks and UT to the monkey as much as possible.

You're an anonymous poster on an irreverent, profane message board.  What is stopping you from sharing your true opinions of plaintiffs' counsel?  Bring it.  

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Nope

Nope 3114

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, South Austin said:

This is from a courthouse news subscription I have that lists recently filed lawsuits. It gives the case style, case summary, and plaintiff’s attorney who filed.

Amy Clinkenbeard; Casey Clinkenbeard, individually and as next friend of a minor
v.
Danielle Thomas, aka "The Pole Assassin"; Jeff Banks
12/2/2021 D-1-GN-21-007037 

Gross negligence and defamation for exemplary damages. Plaintiffs' minor child was trick-or-treating with friends when they were invited to defendant Danielle Thomas's home for a haunted house. Afterwards, the children were taken to a monkey that Thomas kept in her backyard and told the monkey was trained to give high fives. Minor plaintiff attempted to high five the monkey, but the animal aggressively bit his hand and caused injuries. Thomas refused to provide vaccination records for her monkey and later falsely stated on social media that minor plaintiff did not have permission to be on the property and then had her friend go on the Bobby Bones Show to give a false version of the events. "Danielle Thomas's actions ignited a media firestorm including articles on the New York Post, Fox, Barstool, Yahoo, and countless others which then further spread through social media."
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Brian Beckom
VB Attorneys

https://m.facebook.com/amyclinkenbeard.realtor/

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Bigbend1812

Bigbend1812 12918

Posted
Posted
12 hours ago, South Austin said:

This is from a courthouse news subscription I have that lists recently filed lawsuits. It gives the case style, case summary, and plaintiff’s attorney who filed.

Amy Clinkenbeard; Casey Clinkenbeard, individually and as next friend of a minor
v.
Danielle Thomas, aka "The Pole Assassin"; Jeff Banks
12/2/2021 D-1-GN-21-007037 

Gross negligence and defamation for exemplary damages. Plaintiffs' minor child was trick-or-treating with friends when they were invited to defendant Danielle Thomas's home for a haunted house. Afterwards, the children were taken to a monkey that Thomas kept in her backyard and told the monkey was trained to give high fives. Minor plaintiff attempted to high five the monkey, but the animal aggressively bit his hand and caused injuries. Thomas refused to provide vaccination records for her monkey and later falsely stated on social media that minor plaintiff did not have permission to be on the property and then had her friend go on the Bobby Bones Show to give a false version of the events. "Danielle Thomas's actions ignited a media firestorm including articles on the New York Post, Fox, Barstool, Yahoo, and countless others which then further spread through social media."
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Brian Beckom
VB Attorneys

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