[Monkeying Around] Jeff Banks…

[Bama Chick 28596]

New thread title is

[RGBIII 22840]

Do we start another Burnt Ends fund for Pole Assassins legal fees? 

[ztejas 43454]

Just now, RGBIII said:

Do we start another Burnt Ends fund for Pole Assassins legal fees? 

Her boyfriend makes 7 figures so, no. 

And I'm guessing she does okay for herself. 

[Pdawg88 1118]

Probably trying to take a selfie with the monkey and paid the price. I blame the kid 

[Coelenterate Fuccboi 13091]

1 minute ago, RGBIII said:

Do we start another Burnt Ends fund for Pole Assassins legal fees? 

Once family found out who monkey owner was:

[Nicole44 22060]

 

[TexasMan 10891]

This pussy must be so good

 

 

 

[UDontKnow 10446]

12 minutes ago, Nicole44 said:

 

 

T-Pain didn't warn about being in love with a stripper. Rather he presented a MOU about being in love with a stripper. Also, don't miss the feature artist on the track. WHO?

 

[Nicole44 22060]

2 minutes ago, TexasMan said:

This pussy must be so good

 

 

 

Is she trying to make the eventual civil case against herself stick? 

[Surly Bevo 24930]

Hope the kid's dad settles Kramer style.  Free lap dances for a year.

[immamac 42853]

How the fuck have the university handlers not been sent out already. 

[HtownHorn 14685]

I mean yeah, the kid fucked up. But holy shit, this needed to happen to take our focus off the shitty product on the field.

Edited November 2, 2021 by HtownHorn

[ztejas 43454]

Relevant enough.

 

[Horn80 6123]

Yep…… Texas gone SEC.

[TKthunder2 4991]

This is the happiest I’ve been about Texas football in a long time.

[UDontKnow 10446]

2 minutes ago, Surly Bevo said:

Hope the kid's dad settles Kramer style.  Free lap dances for a year.

[Prepuce of Doom 21074]

Just now, HtownHorn said:

I mean yeah, the kid fucked up. She has nothing to worry about legally, but holy shit, this needed to happen.

I don't know - you could make a law school exam fact pattern out of her hairbrained tweets alone. 

[Radical Larry 28623]

[Skipper 6135]

The thoughts of John Bianco trying to figure out how to do damage control on the Pole Assassin has me in tears

[4th and 5 4914]

4 minutes ago, immamac said:

How the fuck have the university handlers not been sent out already. 

The English Department is going lights and sirens to the Banks’ residence right meow.

[mdleast 8295]

How the fuck have the university handlers not been sent out already. 

They did. They too got mauled.

[HtownHorn 14685]

Just now, mdleast said:

They did. They too got mauled.

By the monkey or the pole?

[HtownHorn 14685]

and those SEC fuckers said we weren't ready.

[Js1 85346]

7 minutes ago, Horn80 said:

Yep…… Texas gone SEC.

 

[Gaffords 755]

14 minutes ago, Fuck Tim Beck said:

I could see this backfiring since our defense (and the OL) likes having their shit invaded. 

Haha.  I was kinda thinking along those lines as I typed that...  The thought was they would come out  more like bitches than the 11 yr old.

[Uncle Nate 2097]

6 minutes ago, Radical Larry said:

 

Oh holy sheet. I am dying. 

[Coelenterate Fuccboi 13091]

Can you imagine the shit Banks gets during the staff meetings? I’d love to be there.

[victory88 5668]

The pole assassin and Jeff Banks are probably the best thing about Texas football.  If I’m gonna be forced to watch this train wreck every year, at least it’s entertaining with Banks here. Hell, if I was making 1 mil a year and my job was to just coach TEs football at big time schools, I too would probably do stupid shit like this.  I bet Banks and Sark probably get into some fun shit.

[mdleast 8295]

Can you imagine the shit Banks gets during the staff meetings? I’d love to be there.

Given our current losing streak, I would certainly hope they don’t have time for monkeying around like that

[Stunns38 3465]

Do we start another Burnt Ends fund for Pole Assassins legal fees? 

How about a Surly HH at the strip joint she works at?

[Texas Flood 1356]

[Gaffords 755]

7 minutes ago, HtownHorn said:

and those SEC fuckers said we weren't ready.

Post of the day here.

[RGBIII 22840]

I still can’t believe not a SINGLE tight end knew about the monkey…well there goes my favorite interview question

[OU Sucks 8823]

1 hour ago, TexasMan said:

 

No wonder our special teams are so special.

[Nicole44 22060]

#MonkeyGate

[mdleast 8295]

Secret footage of said monkey

[Stunns38 3465]

Next up, MS paint. Paging Thujone.

[Bama Chick 28596]

Absolutely dying.

[dcar00 14210]

KVUE news "Coach Jeff Banks won't be on the sideline for the ISU game.  He is taking a leave of absence according to the tweet by his legal team headed by Pole M. Assassin, Esq.  Sources are telling us the M stands for monkey."

[Stunns38 3465]

Shake That Monkey https://g.co/kgs/5ideUL

[Dr. Teeth 5844]

2 minutes ago, Nicole44 said:

#MonkeyGate

#MonkeyAssassin 

[immamac 42853]

Paging @TreatyOak for the news story. 

[Surly Bevo 24930]

No wonder our special teams are so special.

Fuck it let’s get the monkey on the sideline to make the fake punt calls. Hi Five Dicker…it’s fucking on.

[Bullneck 19100]

 

 

[Tex Pete 20354]

15 minutes ago, Skipper said:

The thoughts of John Bianco trying to figure out how to do damage control on the Pole Assassin has me in tears

I think this is a job for Derka. He can take the heat off of her, no problem. 
 

[boilerhorn 1382]

Looks like Sark's Cleve (or Jeff's lawyer) has been deployed.  Some of the tweets have been deleted.

A fairly thorough summary, so far:
https://fansided.com/2021/11/01/texas-football-coach-pet-monkey-attacks-kid-trick-treating/

Edited November 2, 2021 by boilerhorn

[Nicole44 22060]

2 minutes ago, boilerhorn said:

Looks like Sark's Cleve (or Jeff's lawyer) has been deployed.  Some of the tweets have been deleted.

Booooooo!!!!!

[Nicole44 22060]

 

 

[HtownHorn 14685]

3 minutes ago, boilerhorn said:

Looks like Sark's Cleve (or Jeff's lawyer) has been deployed.  Some of the tweets have been deleted.

Yep. It appears the Texas SID team is starting to memory hole them.

[ztejas 43454]

She straight up deleted her Twitter account. What on earth. 

Her insta was also made private but she has like 70k followers.