[Monkeying Around] Jeff Banks…

[Bama Chick 28596]

(I kind of wish this had happened when he was at Bama. Because I would pay all kinds of money to watch Saban go all stripper spider monkey on the first reporter who asked him about it.)

[Surly Bevo 24692]

i know what DKR needs to unveil at the next home game:

Could this be an “anti-rally” monkey? Asking for Sark.

[justhookit 4174]

9 minutes ago, sidis said:

a kid wandering into someone else's backyard where there was a monkey in a cage that bit the nosy kid is creating all this dramatic twitter fervor?  or is it just that the non-surly longhorn community is just now finding out about pole assassin and they can't stop giggling?

god damn you fuckers are bored.  pandemic broke you people.

It’s just not college football fans in general. There are a lot of Longhorn fans that had no idea about Pole Assassin and the monkey.

whatever, it’s the best I’ve felt about the football program since the OSU game.

[ABSR 5289]

12 hours ago, dcar00 said:

that's funny, when Banks met her she said she was working towards her law degree...

She meant Law of the Jungle degree.

[Surly Bevo 24692]

(I kind of wish this had happened when he was at Bama. Because I would pay all kinds of money to watch Saban go all stripper spider monkey on the first reporter who asked him about it.)

Guarantee SID has told all the gutless wonders who cover Texas that they ask Sark about this they get their press credential pulled.

That said let’s say we get out to a lead Saturday night and hold it for a win. Anybody ballsy enough to ask “So how did it feel to get that monkey off your back?” In post game.

[Scheiss Meister 8398]

If the ISU band doesn't play something like Shock The Monkey or We're The Monkees during the game Saturday I will be severely disappointed.

ETA - Or The Beatles' Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except For Me And My Monkey.

Edited November 2, 2021 by Scheiss Meister

[Duane Moore 5236]

The signs people hold up at ESPN GameDay this week should be a lot of fun. 

[Armybrat 40710]

Somebody oughta shop the monkey riding Bevo chasing a bunch of costumed kids and UGA around.

[dcar00 14028]

if someone doesn't have dana carvey Mike Myers/sprockets at gameday I will have a disappoint.

Edited November 2, 2021 by dcar00

[27-25 2040]

30 minutes ago, sidis said:

a kid wandering into someone else's backyard where there was a monkey in a cage that bit the nosy kid is creating all this dramatic twitter fervor?  or is it just that the non-surly longhorn community is just now finding out about pole assassin and they can't stop giggling?

god damn you fuckers are bored.  pandemic broke you people.

What else are we going to talk about?  Our football team?

[Surly Bevo 24692]

if someone doesn't have dana carvey/sprockets at gameday I will have a disappoint.

Ahem

[956 Worldwide 34412]

2 hours ago, TriStone said:

 

I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume this explanation is accurate.  Fuck that nosy little trespassing shithead.

 

Legit LOL’d at the handwritten “Emotional Support Animal Do Not Touch” sign. She still probably should completely turn off the Twitter and Instagram machines. 

[Nice Guy Eddie 13406]

4 hours ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

So, who made the call to The Wolf?  

 

 

tangent: some consider the big secret of Pulp Fiction is what is the briefcase. I've always wanted to know what kind of party does someone throw at 8am where people are dressed like this.

[dcar00 14028]

1 minute ago, Surly Bevo said:

Ahem

ha. yeah whoops wrong waynes world dude.

[bornbama1 106]

1 hour ago, ClubWhatever said:

All publicity is good publicity.  Milk the shit out of the rogue monkey

From the "Paris Hilton/Kardashian School of Public Relations"?

[Surly Bevo 24692]

I think CDC should give the monkey a booth on Bevo Blvd. 5 minutes before the game monkey dons a specially made jet pack (monkeys were first in space) and flies into the stadium where ha lands in the waiting arms of Beef Supreme (Vince) riding high atop Bevo. The band hits the drum roll to The Eyes the monkey extends a well trained hook ‘em and then they slowly saunter down the field as the band plays and gore the opposing coach to the crowd’s delight.

Fuck it Full Idiocracy.

[stork642 4498]

Can you imagine Banks ex having to send her kids over to his house.  Just let them have a hand grenade fight in the middle of a busy freeway.  If I had to pick I would go with the grenade fight. 

[Funk Doctor Spock 11918]

4 hours ago, Gooby said:

Did anyone mention the possibility that the kid was trick or treating and hoping to find a house that was giving out Rhesus?

Take your pos rep and the fuck out of here 

[tfoolry 8179]

Fuck around & find out. 
 

 

 

 

[Francisco 2.0 32313]

7 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

tangent: some consider the big secret of Pulp Fiction is what is the briefcase. I've always wanted to know what kind of party does someone throw at 8am where people are dressed like this.

https://movies.stackexchange.com/questions/88248/where-is-mr-wolf-seen-to-be-present-in-his-introduction-scene-in-pulp-fiction

From the script.  Illegal gambling in hotel suite in LA.  Also, while he's on the phone,  you can hear "place your bets" in the background a few times.

Quote

INT. HOTEL SUITE – MORNING

           The CAMERA looks through the bedroom doorway of a hotel suite 
           into the main area. We SEE a crap game being played on a 
           fancy crap table by GAMBLERS in tuxedos and LUCKY LADIES in 
           fancy evening gowns. The CAMERA PANS to the right revealing: 
           Sitting on a bed, phone in hand with his back to us, the 
           tuxedo-clad WINSTON WOLF aka "THE WOLF". We also see The 
           Wolf has a small notepad that he jots details in.

 

 

Edited November 2, 2021 by Francisco 2.0

[Francisco 2.0 32313]

 

 

[956 Worldwide 34412]

12 minutes ago, stork642 said:

Can you imagine Banks ex having to send her kids over to his house.  Just let them have a hand grenade fight in the middle of a busy freeway.  If I had to pick I would go with the grenade fight. 

This dude left his wife and kids, lives with a washed up stripper in a house with a dedicated emotional support monkey zone, and now literally everyone in his professional circle is dragging him because the monkey bit a kid. 

[Surly Bevo 24692]

This dude left his wife and kids, lives with a washed up stripper in a house with a dedicated emotional support monkey zone, and now literally everyone in his professional circle is dragging him because the monkey bit a kid. 

[bad_teammate 13132]

I love it. Make Banks head coach

[Eastwood 4394]

I mean, PJ Fleck left his wife and kids for a stripper, but at least he made that stripper give her monkey away.

[Trey3216 15325]

56 minutes ago, Surly Bevo said:

Could this be an “anti-rally” monkey? Asking for Sark.

Good thing Sark’s not in Collie Station

[Surly Bevo 24692]

I'm sure you'll be shocked

 

[UTEX_ME 4754]

[lilMAC25 3777]

14 hours ago, Bama Chick said:

Absolutely dying.

I’ll see you mother fuckers in the bowels of Hell.

[Beantown Express 2.0 6552]

Not sure if anybody here listens to the Pat McAfee show on SiriusXM on MadDog radio but for a national show, he has been going on and on about Banks, Pole Assassin, her monkey, etc...  It's bad enough we suck but this is not great optics for UT at this point.  

[Pescado_Rojo 19330]

1 hour ago, Lobo said:

All Ass.  No Apes.  

[Bigbend1812 12884]

[Doc Reeves 6434]

12 minutes ago, Surly Bevo said:

I'm sure you'll be shocked

 

Awsome. That was fucking hilarious.

[Doc Reeves 6434]

33 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

This dude left his wife and kids, lives with a washed up stripper in a house with a dedicated emotional support monkey zone, and now literally everyone in his professional circle is dragging him because the monkey bit a kid. 

the stripper hustle is real. 
 

don’t fall in love with hos 

[ChickenNuggets 1610]

40 minutes ago, tfoolry said:

Fuck around & find out. 
 

 

 

I’d shoot that fucking thing and then burn it if it did that to my dog.

[cmontexas 3248]

Why are these thots so embarrassing and crazy?

[Horn80 6075]

Good thing that UT doesn’t care about it’s brand…

[ztejas 43262]

49 minutes ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

 

 

We're starting to round the corner with 9/11 jokes. Almost right on time with the 22.3 year rule.

[Vertigo 20265]

19 minutes ago, Surly Bevo said:

I'm sure you'll be shocked

 

This is a distraction technique to get us away from the monkey. PR Genius. 

[lilMAC25 3777]

6 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

Something something, we’re now truly a Banana Republic

[SA-KC_Horn 1293]

1 hour ago, Scheiss Meister said:

If the ISU band doesn't play something like Shock The Monkey or We're The Monkees during the game Saturday I will be severely disappointed.

ETA - Or The Beatles' Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except For Me And My Monkey.

This would be better bro.......

 

[Pescado_Rojo 19330]

[HornsOverIthaca 2333]

 

[Francisco 2.0 32313]

 

 

[justhookit 4174]

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the monkey is bitin’
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the monkey is bitin’ 
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When it bites them against their will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the kiddo is cryin'

[Doc Reeves 6434]

17 minutes ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

 

 

Closers gonna close. 
 

Stop hating Hammm

[kwood4408 756]

How do we order one of these?

[tx ind 6997]

 

[Knoxtnhorn 5929]

Great.  I'm laughing so hard some of my fellow teachers think I'm crying.

[Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand 13545]