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Official 2021 Bitch about family/Holiday Insanity

GhostOfTomJoad

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GhostOfTomJoad

GhostOfTomJoad 9324

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And as expected, we're experiencing scope creep for our feast. Sister just called asking if it was okay that she invited her adult children (our niece & nephew) over for Thanksgiving. We love them and have had them over for Thanksgiving most of their lives so not an issue there & we pretty much were planning for it anyway. "Do you mind if (her daughter) brings (her 18 month old son), too?" I had to laugh at the absurdity of her thinking we would say yes to our nephew and niece, but tell our niece she needs to leave her toddler at home. "Sure thing, sis. The more the merrier."

"Oh that's so sweet. I can't wait for everyone to meet (her new online boyfriend). I think everyone's going to get along great." Hmm. So her 27 and 29 year old kids haven't met this guy yet. That's a bit odd as my sis is as co-dependent with her two kids (and vice versa) as she is with men. Oh well, at least I won't have to feel the need to be involved with every conversation as I'm sure her kids are going to want to know more about this guy there mom has been living with on weekends for 6 months.

"There's one more favor I need to ask." I'm figuring this is about the food prep which is a non-issue since my sister can barely boil water & Mrs GOTJ & I have gladly handled the feasts every year. No, that wasn't quite the ask.

"Did I ever mention that (boyfriend) has a daughter?" Umm, that's a no. "I'm sorry, I thought I told you. Anyway, he has her for that week and I was hoping that you wouldn't mind if he brought her to Thanksgiving." Again, just as absurd of the thought of us telling our sister that her daughter & son are welcome but not her grandson, how are we supposed to say no to her boyfriend's daughter? "Not a problem, sis. We'll make room and just add to the shopping list."

"Oh, thank you so much. Everyone's going to get along great" (almost nervously trying to convincer herself by repeating this statement).

"And I know (her grandson) is going to love playing with (her boyfriend's daughter)." Wait. What? How old is this kid you never told us about? "Oh, she's almost 4 1/2. He wasn't married to the mother. It was a surprise." Seeing as how as this guy is at least 50 I would say so. 

So a small feast for 4 adults has now added 2 more adults and 2 toddlers under the age of 5. Plus the intrigue of all of us getting to meet the cyber boyfriend for the first time. Mrs GOTJ is already hitting up her friends to try and locate a suitable "kiddie" table and chairs and pointing out the million and two things that I am now responsible for doing that week since I'm taking vacation & she's working through Wed.

 

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FloridaHorn
FloridaHorn

After reading, it is apparent that I am either related to several of you fuckers, or we are all living in some sort of parallel universe. I start my holiday story with only the following as a guide...

FloridaHorn
FloridaHorn

So, I showed up with a 18 lb turkey, and a glazed ham which set me back a little over $100 bucks. The entirety of the items brought by the rest of the Maypear Mafia may not have cost $50 in total. The

GhostOfTomJoad
GhostOfTomJoad

A common request on this board, but it ain't happening. They're not identical but definitely looked similar when younger. Mrs GOTJ is still stunning (exercise, good diet, takes care of herself, etc

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AUS-97HORN

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9 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

So a small feast for 4 adults has now added 2 more adults and 2 toddlers under the age of 5. Plus the intrigue of all of us getting to meet the cyber boyfriend for the first time. Mrs GOTJ is already hitting up her friends to try and locate a suitable "kiddie" table and chairs and pointing out the million and two things that I am now responsible for doing that week since I'm taking vacation & she's working through Wed.

 

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tx 3 putt

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10 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

And as expected, we're experiencing scope creep for our feast. Sister just called asking if it was okay that she invited her adult children (our niece & nephew) over for Thanksgiving. We love them and have had them over for Thanksgiving most of their lives so not an issue there & we pretty much were planning for it anyway. "Do you mind if (her daughter) brings (her 18 month old son), too?" I had to laugh at the absurdity of her thinking we would say yes to our nephew and niece, but tell our niece she needs to leave her toddler at home. "Sure thing, sis. The more the merrier."

"Oh that's so sweet. I can't wait for everyone to meet (her new online boyfriend). I think everyone's going to get along great." Hmm. So her 27 and 29 year old kids haven't met this guy yet. That's a bit odd as my sis is as co-dependent with her two kids (and vice versa) as she is with men. Oh well, at least I won't have to feel the need to be involved with every conversation as I'm sure her kids are going to want to know more about this guy there mom has been living with on weekends for 6 months.

"There's one more favor I need to ask." I'm figuring this is about the food prep which is a non-issue since my sister can barely boil water & Mrs GOTJ & I have gladly handled the feasts every year. No, that wasn't quite the ask.

"Did I ever mention that (boyfriend) has a daughter?" Umm, that's a no. "I'm sorry, I thought I told you. Anyway, he has her for that week and I was hoping that you wouldn't mind if he brought her to Thanksgiving." Again, just as absurd of the thought of us telling our sister that her daughter & son are welcome but not her grandson, how are we supposed to say no to her boyfriend's daughter? "Not a problem, sis. We'll make room and just add to the shopping list."

"Oh, thank you so much. Everyone's going to get along great" (almost nervously trying to convincer herself by repeating this statement).

"And I know (her grandson) is going to love playing with (her boyfriend's daughter)." Wait. What? How old is this kid you never told us about? "Oh, she's almost 4 1/2. He wasn't married to the mother. It was a surprise." Seeing as how as this guy is at least 50 I would say so. 

So a small feast for 4 adults has now added 2 more adults and 2 toddlers under the age of 5. Plus the intrigue of all of us getting to meet the cyber boyfriend for the first time. Mrs GOTJ is already hitting up her friends to try and locate a suitable "kiddie" table and chairs and pointing out the million and two things that I am now responsible for doing that week since I'm taking vacation & she's working through Wed.

 

 

100% the internet bf will have special dietary needs

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conVINCEd

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11 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

And as expected, we're experiencing scope creep for our feast. Sister just called asking if it was okay that she invited her adult children (our niece & nephew) over for Thanksgiving. We love them and have had them over for Thanksgiving most of their lives so not an issue there & we pretty much were planning for it anyway. "Do you mind if (her daughter) brings (her 18 month old son), too?" I had to laugh at the absurdity of her thinking we would say yes to our nephew and niece, but tell our niece she needs to leave her toddler at home. "Sure thing, sis. The more the merrier."

"Oh that's so sweet. I can't wait for everyone to meet (her new online boyfriend). I think everyone's going to get along great." Hmm. So her 27 and 29 year old kids haven't met this guy yet. That's a bit odd as my sis is as co-dependent with her two kids (and vice versa) as she is with men. Oh well, at least I won't have to feel the need to be involved with every conversation as I'm sure her kids are going to want to know more about this guy there mom has been living with on weekends for 6 months.

"There's one more favor I need to ask." I'm figuring this is about the food prep which is a non-issue since my sister can barely boil water & Mrs GOTJ & I have gladly handled the feasts every year. No, that wasn't quite the ask.

"Did I ever mention that (boyfriend) has a daughter?" Umm, that's a no. "I'm sorry, I thought I told you. Anyway, he has her for that week and I was hoping that you wouldn't mind if he brought her to Thanksgiving." Again, just as absurd of the thought of us telling our sister that her daughter & son are welcome but not her grandson, how are we supposed to say no to her boyfriend's daughter? "Not a problem, sis. We'll make room and just add to the shopping list."

"Oh, thank you so much. Everyone's going to get along great" (almost nervously trying to convincer herself by repeating this statement).

"And I know (her grandson) is going to love playing with (her boyfriend's daughter)." Wait. What? How old is this kid you never told us about? "Oh, she's almost 4 1/2. He wasn't married to the mother. It was a surprise." Seeing as how as this guy is at least 50 I would say so. 

So a small feast for 4 adults has now added 2 more adults and 2 toddlers under the age of 5. Plus the intrigue of all of us getting to meet the cyber boyfriend for the first time. Mrs GOTJ is already hitting up her friends to try and locate a suitable "kiddie" table and chairs and pointing out the million and two things that I am now responsible for doing that week since I'm taking vacation & she's working through Wed.

 

Hide your liquor that you have put back for a special occasion.

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GhostOfTomJoad

GhostOfTomJoad 9324

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100% the internet bf will have special dietary needs
I don't think this is the case. He's retired military, born in Panama and is bringing his "signature" shrimp cerviche to the meal.

He's a diehard Cowboys fan, but Ican overlook that disorder . If his beer of choice is Miller Lite then he'd better bring his own swill.
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MissingInAction

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On 11/11/2021 at 8:20 PM, nnm said:

My paramedic son-in-law has some horror stories. One is about the boob cheese that fermented under the folds of a morbidly obese woman. He gags just telling the story, and he’s seen some pretty heinous stuff. He says the smell is indescribable. 

My sister was a paramedic and said their most common 911 call was fat fucks getting stuck on the toilet.

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Js1

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On 11/14/2021 at 7:56 AM, 956 Worldwide said:

New dude is trying too hard but trying in a good way. I’d suck this one up and go. Call your sister and tell her the dog excuse is weak. 
 

Try to talk to the guy a bit and put him at ease, let him understand he doesn’t need to give out cash and book limos, he just needs to be nice to your mom and be cordial to the rest of you. It’s not him, it’s you— really, and that’s fair because you’re mourning and there’s no right way to do it. 

My sister wasn't using the dog as an excuse not to go but not to spend all fucking day there (she's in Clear Lake and he's in The Woodlands, so like, 90 min) - plus she has 1 year old. 

I am going, because my sister asked me to just do it, for her and for her boys.  My mom and I are going to have a talk next week - she tried to bring it up yesterday on the phone, but she was sitting right next to him and I wasn't going to do that. 

But I'll be there and will keep track of the drama for stories. 

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dcbc

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2 hours ago, Js1 said:

My sister wasn't using the dog as an excuse not to go but not to spend all fucking day there (she's in Clear Lake and he's in The Woodlands, so like, 90 min) - plus she has 1 year old. 

I am going, because my sister asked me to just do it, for her and for her boys.  My mom and I are going to have a talk next week - she tried to bring it up yesterday on the phone, but she was sitting right next to him and I wasn't going to do that. 

But I'll be there and will keep track of the drama for stories. 

I bet it will turn out to be mostly fine, if not a little awkward at first.  The dude sounds like he's alright, even if he's definitely coming off as a try-hard with the limo service and "all day" commitments.  Go for your mom's and sister's sake and leave when you're ready after an appropriate time.  I know it seems awfully soon.  My mom didn't date in earnest for years after my dad died, to the point where I really started really hoping she would.  When she remarried ten years later, all of the meet-and-greets were plenty awkward and the try-hard (must be a generational thing) was definitely in effect.  But you just have to go with the flow and be thankful that you are grown, independent, and, thus, don't have to live with the dude.

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RollLeft

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12 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

I don't think this is the case. He's retired military, born in Panama and is bringing his "signature" shrimp cerviche to the meal.

He's a diehard Cowboys fan, but Ican overlook that disorder emoji41.png. If his beer of choice is Miller Lite then he'd better bring his own swill.

Um, this has to be the worst part of your story.  I mean i love me some ceviche, but on Thanksgiving?  Are you doing a potluck or is he just regarded?     

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tx 3 putt

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15 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

I don't think this is the case. He's retired military, born in Panama and is bringing his "signature" shrimp cerviche to the meal.

He's a diehard Cowboys fan, but Ican overlook that disorder emoji41.png. If his beer of choice is Miller Lite then he'd better bring his own swill.

 

the most fucked up thing ive read on this thread. what kind of mother fucker bring ceviche for thanksgiving ??????

 

fuck that ice cube GIF

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GhostOfTomJoad

GhostOfTomJoad 9324

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Meh. I don't object to someone bringing a non-traditional plate to the feast. As long as it tastes good & doesn't give anyone food poisoning then have at it. I'm actually impressed the guy's making an effort with the ceviche. I was expecting him to show up with a tub of store bought potato salad & a can of Pringles.

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Longboard Horn

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Update on my uncle. He texted me yesterday apologizing that I hadn't heard from him all weekend, but he was in the ICU due to low blood pressure so they wanted to run some tests on him. He's fine now and the doctors figured out which medications work the best for him. He'll be in the hospital for a few more weeks then will be transferred to a rehab center for a few months.

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SHOOTER12

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On 11/9/2021 at 6:53 AM, Al_4_ISU said:

Could be interesting over at my mom’s this year.

Last year we didn’t get together partially due to COVID and partially due to my dad and her husband (I refuse to call him step dad) getting in a fight back in June of 2020. My folks divorced when I was at in college, mainly because my mom had an affair with her current husband. My parents divorce turned ugly as my mom’s initial demands (2 farms where we had lived when I was little) turned into my old man writing a check for half his net worth.

As some of you know, we farm, and my mom’s husband does too. Our farm is very successful, and he had gone bankrupt and was working as a hired hand for another farmer. The next fall he was farming again with nice shiny new equipment. Hmmm. Wonder who was behind the escalating demand?

On top of that, my mom told some outright lies to make my dad look bad and justify her falling for this bozo, and thus my old man has been pretty sore about this for years (even though very few people actually bought these stories).

Cut to several years ago, and every time my old man meets her husband on the road (we farm all around their house), husband starts giving my old man the bird (husband doesn’t deny this). At first my dad finds it funny, but it starts to escalate into husband swerving at my dad’s vehicle and my dad decides to confront him. My dad confronts him in June of ‘20 and escalates to the point where my dad body slams him and spits in his face. Husband (physically unharmed in fight) files assault charges, dad pleads guilty, we expect life to move on.

Nope. Husband refuses to let my brother and I in their home because we’re generally Team Dad and he knows we’ve never really accepted him for obvious reasons. Culminates with mom offering to watch my brothers kids during Iowa/ISU game this year, but brother and SIL are not welcome. My brother tells her to pound sand - his kids aren’t staying anywhere he’s not welcome. I take his side (don’t have kids myself).

Flash forward to last couple weeks, and mom wants to get together for Thanksgiving. We’re going over to her place on Thanksgiving day and I have no idea if husband will be present. I think it’s hilarious that he’s still pissed at my brother and I because he got his ass kicked in a fight he initiated and has never really taken responsibility for. If I never saw him again, I would be fine with that, but for the sake of extended family events and such, it’s something that needs to be moved past, which gets difficult when he’s in the throes of a multi-year hissy fit.

Ho Lee Chit

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RollLeft

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12 hours ago, burntorangebongos said:

Some people eat oyster dressing so shrimp ceviche is not a big deal.  It is just pico with some shrimp in it. Not conventional but serve a Torrentes wine with the meal and it will work. 

You make a solid point about the seafood at Thanksgiving its still a cooked dressing with oysters vs a cold and raw fish.  Hmm what other seafood dishes are served on Tday? 

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Storm the Field

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We rotate the holidays each year between my wife's family and mine. Odd years we spend thanksgiving THU-SAT at my parents' house, even years we spend the entire week at my in-laws timeshare in Florida. Very happy this an odd year, as the in-laws are a complete mess these days.

Wife's parents house got rekt by Hurricane Ida and are living in a rental for god knows how long while their house is gutted. This has made my already crazy FIL go even further over the edge (bi-polar, OCD, ADHD). BIL's wife recently moved out of their house and is staying with her parents. Their marriage has been a mess for years (lots of fault to go around). That said they're just as likely to be back together by Thanksgiving and pretending things are normal as they are finally calling in the lawyers to make it official.

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burntorangebongos

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1 hour ago, RollLeft said:

You make a solid point about the seafood at Thanksgiving its still a cooked dressing with oysters vs a cold and raw fish.  Hmm what other seafood dishes are served on Tday? 

On topic: My dad's bday is today, he would have been 99 but he's dead. He was okay on Thanksgiving but NYE, he would usually go all drunken Pancho Villa and shoot his service pistol in the air or the one he got from the German SS officer that surrendered it to him. You couldn't talk him out of his drunken antics, you just hoped to survive them unharmed. He definitely had some untreated PTSD so he was a tightly wound, turn-on-a-dime asshole, but sometimes could be shockingly sweet. Happy bday, Daddy. 

Off topic derail: In colonial times they would likely eat mussels and lobsters and shell fish with their turkey. I think that is why there are so many seafood dressings, aside from oyster that are remnants from the fare of the early T-day tables. 

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NeverMarryAStripper

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2 hours ago, RollLeft said:

You make a solid point about the seafood at Thanksgiving its still a cooked dressing with oysters vs a cold and raw fish.  Hmm what other seafood dishes are served on Tday? 

My seafood gumbo is a Thanksgiving tradition, but it's for the Wednesday before when we're all drinking wine/beer/tequila and getting the thanksgiving fixins ready

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Hate

Hate 20108

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My seafood gumbo is a Thanksgiving tradition, but it's for the Wednesday before when we're all drinking wine/beer/tequila and getting the thanksgiving fixins ready

Our Wednesday night is tacos and tequila. Turkey, bourbon, and 20 mg edibles is my Thursday.
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BearSchlong

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My uncle usually brings smoked trout dip (that he caught) or something else badass as an appetizer.
 
Seafood on Thanksgiving?  Absolutely!
My dad makes awesome smoked trout dip too.

We are having crawfish cornbread dressing, it was my wifes grandmother's recipe.

Not really seafood but sorta?
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burntorangebongos

burntorangebongos 10710

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Hell yeah, crawfish cornbread dressing from an ancestor counts! We don't get to eat lobster like back in colonial times, but we do alright.

Here are some seafood sides plus recipes for the adventurous that hopefully causes fights about how untraditional they are, when really they are throwbacks.

https://dishonfish.com/our-top-10-seafood-side-dishes/

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GhostOfTomJoad

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Bitch about family feast menus might be its own thread. I'll gladly trade ceviche for the hot dishes I was subjected to as a kid in Minnesota.

There's an old joke about why every Norwegian recipe calls for milk: to add both color and flavor.

And don't get me started on jello salad which was jello plus carrot shavings in a bundt cake mold.

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Al_4_ISU

Al_4_ISU 12463

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I grew up on the precipice of that trash, but my family was never that into it. Thanksgiving at either grandma’s was Turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, and something with cheese. One grandma made (still makes) a mean pecan pie, the other made killer dinner rolls. No weird-ass Midwestern “salads”. I was subjected to that shit at potlucks and school, and eventually my wife’s family, but not through my family.

Probably due to my family being German Catholic/Eastern European Catholic and my wife’s being Norwegian Lutheran.

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