Official 2021 Bitch about family/Holiday Insanity

[ocugolf 1214]

On 11/16/2021 at 4:40 PM, BearSchlong said:

My dad makes awesome smoked trout dip too.

We are having crawfish cornbread dressing, it was my wifes grandmother's recipe.

Not really seafood but sorta?

Well now I’m googling crawfish cornbread  recipes

Edited November 22, 2021 by ocugolf

[Paco 1934]

My Grandfather always said that fish and relatives start to smell after 3 days.  Wise man who did not overstay his welcome.

My great grandfather in his swedish accent:
"If I was someplace else I'd go home now"

[Longboard Horn 40377]

Talked to my uncle yesterday. He's still in the hospital, but they've moved him a few floors up to the rehab center. Hopefully he'll start treatment for his legs. 

[Bevo&Pevo 5207]

13 hours ago, ABSR said:

My Grandfather always said that fish and relatives start to smell after 3 days.  Wise man who did not overstay his welcome.

Was your Gpa Ben Franklin?

[Brothahorn 10087]

They can stay at a hotel.  The Brothahorn Bed & Breakfast is full up.

Wife bamboozled me on that one. Or I wasn't listening. Normally when she says family, it means the immediate in-laws.

Arkansas??? Alabama????
Prepare your anus.

In this case, 'bama' just means country blacks.

Think black Clampetts.

So it will be like the Darlings meeting the Clampetts.

[Jerry Callo 8704]

1 hour ago, Brothahorn said:

Wife bamboozled me on that one. Or I wasn't listening. Normally when she says family, it means the immediate in-laws. In this case, 'bama' just means country blacks.

Think black Clampetts.

So it will be like the Darlings meeting the Clampetts.

You need to pitch that shit to one of the networks.  They are redoing several shows with black casts.  The Black Beverly Hillbillies would be worth watching.

[ocugolf 1214]

My mother-in-law is morbidly obese. Like almost “My 600 pound life” on TLC level. She was coming down to our house for thanksgiving. It’s 2 hours. She recently told my wife “I don’t think I can be in the car that long”. Side note: she came down like 3 weeks ago. So we get to stay in a full size bed with two dogs and I’m 6’5 and about 275. 
 

All of this is a ploy because she wants to host at her house. It’s about 1200 square feet. We get to go up on Wednesday because she wants to have “Soup Night” on Wednesday with her extended family. We are talking about 12 adults and 3 kids under 8. She has a coach, a recliner, and a kitchen table for 2. So I guess people will be eating in bedrooms and shit. 
 

On Thursday we get to go to the extended family’s home where we can watch Fox News and talk about QANON stuff for lunch where we pray before lunch and before desert. Wife and I will then hop in the car and drive 5 hours to Dallas for Friday brunch with my side of the family. This is throwing MIL into a hissy fit. Why you might ask? She expected us to go to the zoo and see the exhibits the have put Christmas lights on. At 7. Temperature in the 30s. All with the lady who couldn’t ride in the car for 2 hours. FML. She had bought tickets without our knowledge or her expects and now wants reimbursement for the tickets. Last year I had Covid the week before and got to stay home. Covid sucked but I might trade it for this shit show coming up.

[MissingInAction 25111]

2 minutes ago, ocugolf said:

My mother-in-law is morbidly obese. Like almost “My 600 pound life” on TLC level. She was coming down to our house for thanksgiving. It’s 2 hours. She recently told my wife “I don’t think I can be in the car that long”. Side note: she came down like 3 weeks ago. So we get to stay in a full size bed with two dogs and I’m 6’5 and about 275. 
 

All of this is a ploy because she wants to host at her house. It’s about 1200 square feet. We get to go up on Wednesday because she wants to have “Soup Night” on Wednesday with her extended family. We are talking about 12 adults and 3 kids under 8. She has a coach, a recliner, and a kitchen table for 2. So I guess people will be eating in bedrooms and shit. 
 

On Thursday we get to go to the extended family’s home where we can watch Fox News and talk about QANON stuff for lunch where we pray before lunch and before desert. Wife and I will then hop in the car and drive 5 hours to Dallas for Friday brunch with my side of the family. This is throwing MIL into a hissy fit. Why you might ask? She expected us to go to the zoo and see the exhibits the have put Christmas lights on. At 7. Temperature in the 30s. All with the lady who couldn’t ride in the car for 2 hours. FML. She had bought tickets without our knowledge or her expects and now wants reimbursement for the tickets. Last year I had Covid the week before and got to stay home. Covid sucked but I might trade it for this shit show coming up.

Wow, just your luck that you found out you had contact with someone yesterday who has covid. Oh well, 2 week quarantine for you. Wink wink nudge nudge.

The excuse I used to avoid the work potluck tomorrow.

[gyroprotagonist 2594]

3 minutes ago, ocugolf said:

My mother-in-law is morbidly obese. Like almost “My 600 pound life” on TLC level. She was coming down to our house for thanksgiving. It’s 2 hours. She recently told my wife “I don’t think I can be in the car that long”. Side note: she came down like 3 weeks ago. So we get to stay in a full size bed with two dogs and I’m 6’5 and about 275. 
 

All of this is a ploy because she wants to host at her house. It’s about 1200 square feet. We get to go up on Wednesday because she wants to have “Soup Night” on Wednesday with her extended family. We are talking about 12 adults and 3 kids under 8. She has a coach, a recliner, and a kitchen table for 2. So I guess people will be eating in bedrooms and shit. 
 

On Thursday we get to go to the extended family’s home where we can watch Fox News and talk about QANON stuff for lunch where we pray before lunch and before desert. Wife and I will then hop in the car and drive 5 hours to Dallas for Friday brunch with my side of the family. This is throwing MIL into a hissy fit. Why you might ask? She expected us to go to the zoo and see the exhibits the have put Christmas lights on. At 7. Temperature in the 30s. All with the lady who couldn’t ride in the car for 2 hours. FML. She had bought tickets without our knowledge or her expects and now wants reimbursement for the tickets. Last year I had Covid the week before and got to stay home. Covid sucked but I might trade it for this shit show coming up.

reimburse via a charitable donation in her name to the zoo.  or the HUMAN fund.  

[Biff Tannen 45692]

On 11/18/2021 at 1:08 PM, slorch said:

In and of itself, that is not a bad gig except they work the dogshit out of their folks generally speaking. You don’t see too many old beer guys still working traditional routes.  Job #32 might be imminent.

I made it a month and a half in this job at 19 years old.  6am-9pm, Thurs-Sun.  Not fun when you are that age and wanting to party and get laid on the weekends.  Well, every day, but also the weekends. 

[FloridaHorn 4769]

Flight for Texas leaves at 10 AM on Wednesday. Maypearl mafia just informed me that, due to rising grocery cost, they have decided to make this years Thanksgiving a "POT LUCK", and want to know if I can bring a Turkey or Ham. I am  boarding an airplane to be a part of this shit show, and now I am supposed to find a fully prepared 20 lb Turkey or Ham on the day before fucking Thanksgiving to feed these fat hillbilly bastards. I swear to all that is holy, this is the last one of these shit shows I attend.

[Hate 20116]

Would a turkey or ham qualify as a carry on or would you have to check it?

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

Just take a service turkey

[FloridaHorn 4769]

Just now, Hate said:

Would a turkey or ham qualify as a carry on or would you have to check it?

I should also add that Uncle Garry asked if I could pick him up some "of that medical marijuana" before the trip. Guess I could just stuff a couple of vape pens in the fucking turkey.

[Guest]

6 minutes ago, FloridaHorn said:

Flight for Texas leaves at 10 AM on Wednesday. Maypearl mafia just informed me that, due to rising grocery cost, they have decided to make this years Thanksgiving a "POT LUCK", and want to know if I can bring a Turkey or Ham. I am  boarding an airplane to be a part of this shit show, and now I am supposed to find a fully prepared 20 lb Turkey or Ham on the day before fucking Thanksgiving to feed these fat hillbilly bastards. I swear to all that is holy, this is the last one of these shit shows I attend.

Buy 3# of turkey breast at the nearest deli and call it good.  Why would a travelling member of the family be expected to bring the toughest dish to prepare?  Maypearl Morons.

[gyroprotagonist 2594]

29 minutes ago, FloridaHorn said:

Flight for Texas leaves at 10 AM on Wednesday. Maypearl mafia just informed me that, due to rising grocery cost, they have decided to make this years Thanksgiving a "POT LUCK", and want to know if I can bring a Turkey or Ham. I am  boarding an airplane to be a part of this shit show, and now I am supposed to find a fully prepared 20 lb Turkey or Ham on the day before fucking Thanksgiving to feed these fat hillbilly bastards. I swear to all that is holy, this is the last one of these shit shows I attend.

cook it on the way, duh

[DalTxHornFan 3107]

54 minutes ago, FloridaHorn said:

Flight for Texas leaves at 10 AM on Wednesday. Maypearl mafia just informed me that, due to rising grocery cost, they have decided to make this years Thanksgiving a "POT LUCK", and want to know if I can bring a Turkey or Ham. I am  boarding an airplane to be a part of this shit show, and now I am supposed to find a fully prepared 20 lb Turkey or Ham on the day before fucking Thanksgiving to feed these fat hillbilly bastards. I swear to all that is holy, this is the last one of these shit shows I attend.

S

Put them in your carry-on baggage.  Shouldn't take long to heat these up. [Obligatory - "Real tomato ketchup, Eddie?"]

[tx 3 putt 77111]

4 hours ago, ocugolf said:

My mother-in-law is morbidly obese. Like almost “My 600 pound life” on TLC level. She was coming down to our house for thanksgiving. It’s 2 hours. She recently told my wife “I don’t think I can be in the car that long”. Side note: she came down like 3 weeks ago. So we get to stay in a full size bed with two dogs and I’m 6’5 and about 275. 
 

All of this is a ploy because she wants to host at her house. It’s about 1200 square feet. We get to go up on Wednesday because she wants to have “Soup Night” on Wednesday with her extended family. We are talking about 12 adults and 3 kids under 8. She has a coach, a recliner, and a kitchen table for 2. So I guess people will be eating in bedrooms and shit. 
 

On Thursday we get to go to the extended family’s home where we can watch Fox News and talk about QANON stuff for lunch where we pray before lunch and before desert. Wife and I will then hop in the car and drive 5 hours to Dallas for Friday brunch with my side of the family. This is throwing MIL into a hissy fit. Why you might ask? She expected us to go to the zoo and see the exhibits the have put Christmas lights on. At 7. Temperature in the 30s. All with the lady who couldn’t ride in the car for 2 hours. FML. She had bought tickets without our knowledge or her expects and now wants reimbursement for the tickets. Last year I had Covid the week before and got to stay home. Covid sucked but I might trade it for this shit show coming up.

Plenty of surly virgins would take her out on a date !

[tx 3 putt 77111]

This thread is getting good boys !

[davidg 4038]

1 hour ago, FloridaHorn said:

Flight for Texas leaves at 10 AM on Wednesday. Maypearl mafia just informed me that, due to rising grocery cost, they have decided to make this years Thanksgiving a "POT LUCK", and want to know if I can bring a Turkey or Ham. I am  boarding an airplane to be a part of this shit show, and now I am supposed to find a fully prepared 20 lb Turkey or Ham on the day before fucking Thanksgiving to feed these fat hillbilly bastards. I swear to all that is holy, this is the last one of these shit shows I attend.

Show up with one of these, crack it open with the key and set it in the middle of the table. Done!

[Js1 85436]

1 hour ago, Hate said:

Would a turkey or ham qualify as a carry on or would you have to check it?

Check it. But it might be mistaken for a bomb 

Edited November 22, 2021 by Js1

[nnm 36470]

6 hours ago, ocugolf said:

My mother-in-law is morbidly obese. Like almost “My 600 pound life” on TLC level. She was coming down to our house for thanksgiving. It’s 2 hours. She recently told my wife “I don’t think I can be in the car that long”. Side note: she came down like 3 weeks ago. So we get to stay in a full size bed with two dogs and I’m 6’5 and about 275. 
 

All of this is a ploy because she wants to host at her house. It’s about 1200 square feet. We get to go up on Wednesday because she wants to have “Soup Night” on Wednesday with her extended family. We are talking about 12 adults and 3 kids under 8. She has a coach, a recliner, and a kitchen table for 2. So I guess people will be eating in bedrooms and shit. 
 

On Thursday we get to go to the extended family’s home where we can watch Fox News and talk about QANON stuff for lunch where we pray before lunch and before desert. Wife and I will then hop in the car and drive 5 hours to Dallas for Friday brunch with my side of the family. This is throwing MIL into a hissy fit. Why you might ask? She expected us to go to the zoo and see the exhibits the have put Christmas lights on. At 7. Temperature in the 30s. All with the lady who couldn’t ride in the car for 2 hours. FML. She had bought tickets without our knowledge or her expects and now wants reimbursement for the tickets. Last year I had Covid the week before and got to stay home. Covid sucked but I might trade it for this shit show coming up.

You know people can get C19 more than once, right?  Right?

[FloridaHorn 4769]

7 hours ago, ocugolf said:

My mother-in-law is morbidly obese. Like almost “My 600 pound life” on TLC level. She was coming down to our house for thanksgiving. It’s 2 hours. She recently told my wife “I don’t think I can be in the car that long”. Side note: she came down like 3 weeks ago. So we get to stay in a full size bed with two dogs and I’m 6’5 and about 275. 
 

All of this is a ploy because she wants to host at her house. It’s about 1200 square feet. We get to go up on Wednesday because she wants to have “Soup Night” on Wednesday with her extended family. We are talking about 12 adults and 3 kids under 8. She has a coach, a recliner, and a kitchen table for 2. So I guess people will be eating in bedrooms and shit. 
 

On Thursday we get to go to the extended family’s home where we can watch Fox News and talk about QANON stuff for lunch where we pray before lunch and before desert. Wife and I will then hop in the car and drive 5 hours to Dallas for Friday brunch with my side of the family. This is throwing MIL into a hissy fit. Why you might ask? She expected us to go to the zoo and see the exhibits the have put Christmas lights on. At 7. Temperature in the 30s. All with the lady who couldn’t ride in the car for 2 hours. FML. She had bought tickets without our knowledge or her expects and now wants reimbursement for the tickets. Last year I had Covid the week before and got to stay home. Covid sucked but I might trade it for this shit show coming up.

Pics of MIL…..

 

vic

[ztejas 43488]

[Mrs Whiggins 13050]

5 hours ago, FloridaHorn said:

Flight for Texas leaves at 10 AM on Wednesday. Maypearl mafia just informed me that, due to rising grocery cost, they have decided to make this years Thanksgiving a "POT LUCK", and want to know if I can bring a Turkey or Ham. I am  boarding an airplane to be a part of this shit show, and now I am supposed to find a fully prepared 20 lb Turkey or Ham on the day before fucking Thanksgiving to feed these fat hillbilly bastards. I swear to all that is holy, this is the last one of these shit shows I attend.

If you're landing in Dallas, swing by the Cracker Barrel and pick up the Thanksgiving to go turkey. You may be able to call ahead before you leave Wednesday to put in an order as they need about 24 hours before pickup.

[ocugolf 1214]

2 hours ago, FloridaHorn said:

Pics of MIL…..

 

vic

Vic would say no way. That’s all anyone needs to know

[ocugolf 1214]

4 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

Plenty of surly virgins would take her out on a date !

I don’t know. Around Christmas, I’ll give you some stories. They are special. I mean she gave me golf balls toilet paper last year, that’s it and bitched that I’d just lose the golf balls, so why should she pay? Side note: I’m a better than scratch golfer

[cactusflinthead 27601]

21 minutes ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

If you're landing in Dallas, swing by the Cracker Barrel and pick up the Thanksgiving to go turkey. You may be able to call ahead before you leave Wednesday to put in an order as they need about 24 hours before pickup.

@FloridaHorn she isn't wrong. There is a Spring Creek BBQ in Grapevine. Eatzi's too if that's more your style. 

But, you can just say fuck it and get some Chicken E. Not my hillbillies.

[Mrs Whiggins 13050]

Those honey baked ham places  do Thanksgiving hams and turkeys too. There are several locations around Dallas, probably even near the airport. We don't live in the DFW area but travel through on our way north.

[Bill Brasky 1449]

I can't wait to see what disgusting and random items are brought to the family pot luck this go-round.   On the 4th of July someone brought a crockpot of "queso" but they used pimento cheese instead of Velveeta.   I swear I started looking around to see if @Jade was in the house.   

[tx 3 putt 77111]

8 hours ago, FloridaHorn said:

Flight for Texas leaves at 10 AM on Wednesday. Maypearl mafia just informed me that, due to rising grocery cost, they have decided to make this years Thanksgiving a "POT LUCK", and want to know if I can bring a Turkey or Ham. I am  boarding an airplane to be a part of this shit show, and now I am supposed to find a fully prepared 20 lb Turkey or Ham on the day before fucking Thanksgiving to feed these fat hillbilly bastards. I swear to all that is holy, this is the last one of these shit shows I attend.

Popeyes fried Turkey 

costco has the best prices on hams 

Edited November 23, 2021 by tx 3 putt

[Kennythetiger 9395]

8 hours ago, ocugolf said:

I don’t know. Around Christmas, I’ll give you some stories. They are special. I mean she gave me golf balls toilet paper last year, that’s it and bitched that I’d just lose the golf balls, so why should she pay? Side note: I’m a better than scratch golfer

I like her already. 

[FloridaHorn 4769]

7 hours ago, Bill Brasky said:

I can't wait to see what disgusting and random items are brought to the family pot luck this go-round.   On the 4th of July someone brought a crockpot of "queso" but they used pimento cheese instead of Velveeta.   I swear I started looking around to see if @Jade was in the house.   

I went to a pot luck several years ago and someone brought the little finger triangle sandwiches…..just dry bread and a piece of bologna.

[Guest Lobo]

8 hours ago, Bill Brasky said:

I can't wait to see what disgusting and random items are brought to the family pot luck this go-round.   On the 4th of July someone brought a crockpot of "queso" but they used pimento cheese instead of Velveeta.   I swear I started looking around to see if @Jade was in the house.   

Mmmmmm, a pot of hot, melted pimento.  That is beyond fucked up.  Not to pick on your family, there are so many other vulgar foods mentioned on this thread. 

Why does it seem like the hardest core "America is the Best" folks seem to royally fuck up the 2nd most American Holiday---Thanksgiving (after Independence Day)?

I'm actually looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner, my MIL is cooking and she does a wonderful, traditional spread.  But i know one of my sisters-in-law is gonna try and get cute and do something original on her own.  And we'll have to eat it and pretend it's awesome.  She can't help herself.  And she can't cook for shit. 

I could take the edge off a shitty side-dish if there was alcohol to drink, but alas...  They're not dry, they just don't like to spend the money on booze.  If somebody else is paying, they're all oenophiles.  But if I show up in Fort Worth with some wine, my wife will give me shit.  I don't understand where they think alcohol comes from when they see it outside of a store.  There's no booze fairies that just drop bottles off at random locations, I checked.  Somebody, somewhere, at some point---has to give money to the store in exchange for the hooch.  When they see it, and nobody asks for money, they drink it.  But if they find out someone they know paid for it, they get all weird about it and don't want it.  It's a strange system.  

[Kennythetiger 9395]

1 hour ago, FloridaHorn said:

I went to a pot luck several years ago and someone brought the little finger triangle sandwiches…..just dry bread and a piece of bologna.

You needed my mother in law there. She brings nothing to a potluck and takes home leftovers. 

[Horn Draoi 255]

17 hours ago, FloridaHorn said:

Flight for Texas leaves at 10 AM on Wednesday. Maypearl mafia just informed me that, due to rising grocery cost, they have decided to make this years Thanksgiving a "POT LUCK", and want to know if I can bring a Turkey or Ham. I am  boarding an airplane to be a part of this shit show, and now I am supposed to find a fully prepared 20 lb Turkey or Ham on the day before fucking Thanksgiving to feed these fat hillbilly bastards. I swear to all that is holy, this is the last one of these shit shows I attend.

Order a Popeye’s turkey now, pick it up on the way out of Dallas; also a bottle  of Tabasco or Crystal. Pour entire bottle of hot sauce over turkey in bag to enhance marinade.  Leave the leftovers with them…….

[Horn Draoi 255]

1 hour ago, Lobo said:

Mmmmmm, a pot of hot, melted pimento.  That is beyond fucked up.  Not to pick on your family, there are so many other vulgar foods mentioned on this thread. 

Why does it seem like the hardest core "America is the Best" folks seem to royally fuck up the 2nd most American Holiday---Thanksgiving (after Independence Day)?

I'm actually looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner, my MIL is cooking and she does a wonderful, traditional spread.  But i know one of my sisters-in-law is gonna try and get cute and do something original on her own.  And we'll have to eat it and pretend it's awesome.  She can't help herself.  And she can't cook for shit. 

I could take the edge off a shitty side-dish if there was alcohol to drink, but alas...  They're not dry, they just don't like to spend the money on booze.  If somebody else is paying, they're all oenophiles.  But if I show up in Fort Worth with some wine, my wife will give me shit.  I don't understand where they think alcohol comes from when they see it outside of a store.  There's no booze fairies that just drop bottles off at random locations, I checked.  Somebody, somewhere, at some point---has to give money to the store in exchange for the hooch.  When they see it, and nobody asks for money, they drink it.  But if they find out someone they know paid for it, they get all weird about it and don't want it.  It's a strange system.  

I’ve carried a hip pocket flask (or two) to family events for years…high proof Smirnoff is workable.

[Kennythetiger 9395]

25 minutes ago, Horn Draoi said:

Order a Popeye’s turkey now, pick it up on the way out of Dallas; also a bottle  of Tabasco or Crystal. Pour entire bottle of hot sauce over turkey in bag to enhance marinade.  Leave the leftovers with them…….

I think you’ve just summoned @Brisketexan and The Boy. 

[Longboard Horn 40377]

@FloridaHorn at this point I would just say fuck it and not even go down to Maypearl. Go to cracker barrel on thanksgiving have your server take a picture of you and your wife having a nice ham or turkey and enjoy your Thanksgiving lunch. After that text it to those hillbillies down in Maypearl. If they get mad and ask where you are and ask or say something like “we thought you were bringing a turkey or you’re bringing ham still right?” you can just use the quote that I did with my last girlfriend‘s family pissed me off a couple years ago when I didn’t show up with wine or anything to their potluck. Just say, “yeah I thought about that and I really was going to do that… But then I just continued living my life…”

[Mitch Cumsteen 18550]

Two full days at the family ranch outside of Gonzales for T-giving. 17 people under one roof, including 7 kids between the ages of 3-16, one of whom is a 14 year old girl recently released from a mental hospital for being suicidal. Just found out that my BIL is bring his morbidly obese girlfriend -- the one who once drove around the ranch chasing him with a gun (allegedly) after she found out he was cheating on her. Normally, I would expect drunken fighting between my wife, her sister and their mother in some triangulation, but having the girlfriend out there introduces a new dynamic into the mix. It's going to be a shitshow either way. Not looking forward to this, at all. 

[Mrs Whiggins 13050]

3 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Two full days at the family ranch outside of Gonzales for T-giving. 17 people under one roof, including 7 kids between the ages of 3-16, one of whom is a 14 year old girl recently released from a mental hospital for being suicidal. Just found out that my BIL is bring his morbidly obese girlfriend -- the one who once drove around the ranch chasing him with a gun (allegedly) after she found out he was cheating on her. Normally, I would expect drunken fighting between my wife, her sister and their mother in some triangulation, but having the girlfriend out there introduces a new dynamic into the mix. It's going to be a shitshow either way. Not looking forward to this, at all. 

I think the game cams on the ranch need to be turned towards the house for the day.

[Jerry Callo 8704]

12 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Not looking forward to this, at all. 

But we are.

[Guest]

Jerry Callo beat me to it…

[FloridaHorn 4769]

31 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Two full days at the family ranch outside of Gonzales for T-giving. 17 people under one roof, including 7 kids between the ages of 3-16, one of whom is a 14 year old girl recently released from a mental hospital for being suicidal. Just found out that my BIL is bring his morbidly obese girlfriend -- the one who once drove around the ranch chasing him with a gun (allegedly) after she found out he was cheating on her. Normally, I would expect drunken fighting between my wife, her sister and their mother in some triangulation, but having the girlfriend out there introduces a new dynamic into the mix. It's going to be a shitshow either way. Not looking forward to this, at all. 

wanna trade? LOL

[MissingInAction 25111]

34 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Two full days at the family ranch outside of Gonzales for T-giving. 17 people under one roof, including 7 kids between the ages of 3-16, one of whom is a 14 year old girl recently released from a mental hospital for being suicidal. Just found out that my BIL is bring his morbidly obese girlfriend -- the one who once drove around the ranch chasing him with a gun (allegedly) after she found out he was cheating on her. Normally, I would expect drunken fighting between my wife, her sister and their mother in some triangulation, but having the girlfriend out there introduces a new dynamic into the mix. It's going to be a shitshow either way. Not looking forward to this, at all. 

Straight into my veins...

[Nice Guy Eddie 13515]

On 11/22/2021 at 10:39 AM, ocugolf said:

On Thursday we get to go to the extended family’s home where we can watch Fox News and talk about QANON stuff for lunch where we pray before lunch and before desert. Wife and I will then hop in the car and drive 5 hours to Dallas for Friday brunch with my side of the family. This is throwing MIL into a hissy fit. Why you might ask? She expected us to go to the zoo and see the exhibits the have put Christmas lights on. At 7. Temperature in the 30s. All with the lady who couldn’t ride in the car for 2 hours. FML. She had bought tickets without our knowledge or her expects and now wants reimbursement for the tickets. Last year I had Covid the week before and got to stay home. Covid sucked but I might trade it for this shit show coming up.

If it can end the fight, just pay for the tickets.  But for our entertainment, hold your ground and say fuck no I'm not paying for something that I never agreed to.

[conVINCEd 21469]

1 hour ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Two full days at the family ranch outside of Gonzales for T-giving. 17 people under one roof, including 7 kids between the ages of 3-16, one of whom is a 14 year old girl recently released from a mental hospital for being suicidal. Just found out that my BIL is bring his morbidly obese girlfriend -- the one who once drove around the ranch chasing him with a gun (allegedly) after she found out he was cheating on her. Normally, I would expect drunken fighting between my wife, her sister and their mother in some triangulation, but having the girlfriend out there introduces a new dynamic into the mix. It's going to be a shitshow either way. Not looking forward to this, at all. 

How much has Mrs. Cumsteen spent on decorations?

[Tex48 840]

Feel blessed.  It's only my mom and I in Houston.  I think we are going to Perry's.  I'll probably eat a pork chop and my mom will have fish or something while watching the Cowboys game.  Since my parents got divorced, I haven't had to deal with anymore holiday drama.  It's great.  

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

1 hour ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Two full days at the family ranch outside of Gonzales for T-giving. 17 people under one roof, including 7 kids between the ages of 3-16, one of whom is a 14 year old girl recently released from a mental hospital for being suicidal. Just found out that my BIL is bring his morbidly obese girlfriend -- the one who once drove around the ranch chasing him with a gun (allegedly) after she found out he was cheating on her. Normally, I would expect drunken fighting between my wife, her sister and their mother in some triangulation, but having the girlfriend out there introduces a new dynamic into the mix. It's going to be a shitshow either way. Not looking forward to this, at all. 

I think the most important question is who decorated the family ranch house.

[SHOOTER12 8811]

6 hours ago, Lobo said:

Mmmmmm, a pot of hot, melted pimento.  That is beyond fucked up.  Not to pick on your family, there are so many other vulgar foods mentioned on this thread. 

Why does it seem like the hardest core "America is the Best" folks seem to royally fuck up the 2nd most American Holiday---Thanksgiving (after Independence Day)?

I'm actually looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner, my MIL is cooking and she does a wonderful, traditional spread.  But i know one of my sisters-in-law is gonna try and get cute and do something original on her own.  And we'll have to eat it and pretend it's awesome.  She can't help herself.  And she can't cook for shit. 

I could take the edge off a shitty side-dish if there was alcohol to drink, but alas...  They're not dry, they just don't like to spend the money on booze.  If somebody else is paying, they're all oenophiles.  But if I show up in Fort Worth with some wine, my wife will give me shit.  I don't understand where they think alcohol comes from when they see it outside of a store.  There's no booze fairies that just drop bottles off at random locations, I checked.  Somebody, somewhere, at some point---has to give money to the store in exchange for the hooch.  When they see it, and nobody asks for money, they drink it.  But if they find out someone they know paid for it, they get all weird about it and don't want it.  It's a strange system.  

Lol, +rep for "booze fairies".