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This Program Is Cursed. It Is Now Time to Embrace It

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8789

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

My in-depth research says it all started when we removed the old glowing Longhorn that sat above the scoreboard and replaced the real grass field with turf. The curse was strengthened with Adzillatron, the Longhorn Network, 6% blended increase, pre-game carnivals, Salt-n-Pepa, Jetpack guy, and a tacky-looking South Endzone. Since it began, we've seen:

  • Colt gets hurt in the championship game
  • 64 losses in 11 years
  • 0 conference championships
  • 0 playoff appearances
  • OU wins 7 Big 12 championship in the past decade
  • 3-9 versus OU in the last decade
  • OU absolutely owns the conference, but we are the team that everyone hates
  • Spencer Rattler is 2-0 versus UT as a starter
  • Three head coaches fired
  • Teams do horns down constantly and football gods don't care
  • Steve Patterson
  • Lost to Kansas
  • Lost to Maryland (twice)
  • OSU referee shenanigans
  • "We're Bbbbbbaaaaacccckkkkkk"
  • Three 4th quarter collapses in a row
  • Coach girlfriend monkey bites (allegedly)

It seems obvious that to reverse the curse, the old glowing Longhorn needs to be returned to its rightful place in the NEZ. We also need a grass field. Until then, we are destined to this purgatory. Since neither remedy is likely, it's time to embrace the suck.

High pre-season ranking? We're laughing with you college football.
Horns down? Why would opposing fans waste so much energy hating a 7-5 football team?
This is the year we win the conference? Let's try beating the murder's row of Baylor, Iowa State, and K-State first.
Coach's girlfriend's monkey allegedly bites a kid? Sure, why the hell not. Let's put it on a t-shirt. 

Come with me to the promised land. No more stress on Saturdays. No more hopes and dreams dashed. The only thing you'll care about is not the final score of the games, but how are we going to fall flat on our faces next... and will it involve wildlife? We can take away all the pain. Just embrace the curse.

It's only appropriate that in this photo KSU is beating us:

spacer.png

All that dope you're doing... whatever it is, you'd best start sharing it with all of us.

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CosmoDog

CosmoDog 298

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, DanTheHorn said:

Ever since Miami I have seen wearing black as a curse because Texas broke out the special black shoes for that game and got crushed.

1786612.jpeg

 

Route 66 the black makes a special appearance again

9e6bea231e2df3d3fe66bc4bfd75693d.jpg?w=6

 

Special Black UNIs for Duke

a_redick_195.jpg

 

Many _iaz may have not been but always seemed to want to wear black

4_FILE_2012_10_06_Football_vs_WestVirgin

 

Biggest Johnny Cash wanna be

USATSI_10501492.jpg

 

So lets embrace even the personnel perceived curses. I will embrace it by buying an ugly black shirt maybe this one:

16551047-1.jpg?tx=w_700,h_1000

 

I kinda like the black shirt.

I’m in.

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troph

troph 24562

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, ztejas said:

Texas could easily have like 7 national titles. We have been snakebit since DKR left and are doing some extended desert wandering right now. 

Akers twice (once with Earl and the UGA cotton bowl), and Mack two more easily (colt goes down and the OU/Fla bullshit). Who knows maybe even redemption against Miami the year Simms / Applewhite were a hot item. Easily 8. 

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Cairn Horn88

Cairn Horn88 8176

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Posted
9 hours ago, shadow_operative said:

the program isn't cursed, we're just not that good and haven't been that good since, oh, about the time we started desegregating the team. we have one national title and a handful of conference titles in the last half century. outside of the decade of the aughts we've been crap every decade since the 60's. it's not a curse, it's who we are.

……and we are miles ahead of aggy!

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ButtFumble

ButtFumble 5158

Posted
Posted

to be clear I a not saying that Texas could expect to do what Alabama has been doing recently that is just out of control, but you look at the 3 coaches before Saban and their record and the number of years (10) and they were in the shit in a major way they were barely .500 and Lil' Debbie was probably their best coach in that period

there is no reason Texas could not get it turned around to win 2 in a decade or so with the right coach

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troph

troph 24562

Posted
Posted

Texas was pretty salty in the 70s and half of the 80s just couldn’t win the 2 in front of them. Last half of the 80s and all of the 90s were horribad. 2000s were good, missed 2-3 more. 2010s were possibly worse than the 90s and that’s saying something.  

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Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, Liquor and Poker said:

I feel like the OP kinda went over a lot of people’s heads. Like that old droopy lightup longhorn.  
 

I personally think it was the elimination of the NEZ noise meter. 

Or "Give me a Phat Beat":
 

 

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msucolt45

msucolt45 3991

Posted
Posted
Texas was pretty salty in the 70s and half of the 80s just couldn’t win the 2 in front of them. Last half of the 80s and all of the 90s were horribad. 2000s were good, missed 2-3 more. 2010s were possibly worse than the 90s and that’s saying something.  

I was in HS during the Fall of ‘84 to ‘87 seasons. We (Horns) were mediocre at best.

My favorite from that era was Britt Hager and he wasn’t enough. Growing up in SETX, surrounded by aggy in the area and school, the FB seasons were miserable!

At the time we didn’t know about FedEx, just that Jackie had aggy on a roll. Man those years sucked!
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troph

troph 24562

Posted
Posted (edited)
12 minutes ago, msucolt45 said:


I was in HS during the Fall of ‘84 to ‘87 seasons. We (Horns) were mediocre at best.

My favorite from that era was Britt Hager and he wasn’t enough. Growing up in SETX, surrounded by aggy in the area and school, the FB seasons were miserable!

At the time we didn’t know about FedEx, just that Jackie had aggy on a roll. Man those years sucked!

ok 1/3 of the 80s.  81 and 83 were top 10 finishes, 1 was playing for the title.  not quite half the decade but enough that the 80s weren't all shit.  I was in middle school late 80s yes those years blew donkey ass.  All the more reason not to give them my 40s and 50s.

Edited by troph
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Fletch

Fletch 5799

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Posted
On 11/2/2021 at 8:58 PM, VirginiaLonghorn said:

What we’ll sacrifice by losing LHN is baseball coverage … and that’s gonna really suck.

We’ll be on ESPN+ every weekend. Fuck LHN. Never thought I’d hate a channel called Longhorn Network but here I am 

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Longboard Horn

Longboard Horn 40143

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Posted
On 11/2/2021 at 10:00 AM, UTEX_ME said:

Until our athletic department gets off their high horse fake morality trip and begins to pay top recruits, hire the right scumbags, and fuck everything else but winning, we are never going to win a national title or compete for an SEC championship in the future. That's how you win in today's football.  Hiring the feel good story of the previous season every 3-4 years isn't going to cut it.  I've accepted we will never play dirty and hire the right coach. Texas has only got it right twice. DKR would have won at any big time program but thankfully he was with us.  Mack was a God-like recruiter (before '10) and won a lot of games, but still underachieved for most of his time here until he finally let his once in generation talent play to his strengths.  It's time for all Longhorn fans to enjoy the occasional wins over OU (who knows how to run a football program btw) and don't take the years with 4-5 losses a year too hard.  

All of this. Until we start cheating like OU does (refs overlooking calls against them, making bogus calls against opponents), hire a scumbag/asshole like Urban Meyer or someone on that caliber, steal away recruits from other schools, and do whatever it takes to win, we're never going to win an SEC title or make the playoff. All we have to say is that we're a clean program. Fuck all of that. That is loser talk! 

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Hornbeliever

Hornbeliever 708

Posted
Posted

I keep thinking to myself "what can I personally do, without a whataburger bag, to change this curse?"  

Been buying new Longhorn gear each year to wash away the stink of the previous year.  Thinking of not buying anything new and seeing if wearing same gameday UT shirt two years in a row leads directly to a conference championship.  I'm thinking yes.

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TornACL

TornACL 7676

Posted
Posted (edited)

What this program needs is slump busters. 

In summer 2005 I was distraught about our 2000-2004 losing streak to the Sooners and afraid that our best team in decades would get ruined by those shits.

So I happened to meet a girl over the summer who was a Sooner. She wasn't great, but she was alright... enough.  And I knew what I needed to do and I laid the wood to her all summer. And I said goodbye by the end of August.

And then what happened? We peed on OU for the first time in forever.

I basically deserve as much credit as Vince Young for that season. 

So gentlemen, the solution is to get out there and fuck. Quit being a cry baby bitch and fuck some slump busters and pump some mojo into this program.

And post pics in the appropriate board. 

Edited by TornACL
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Longboard Horn

Longboard Horn 40143

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, TornACL said:

What this program needs is slump busters. 

In summer 2005 I was distraught about our 2000-2004 losing streak to the Sooners and afraid that our best team in decades would get ruined by those shits.

So I happened to meet a girl over the summer who was a Sooner. She wasn't great, but she was alright... enough.  And I knew what I needed to do and I laid the wood to her all summer. And I said goodbye by the end of August.

And then what happened? We peed on OU for the first time in forever.

I basically deserve as much credit as Vince Young for that season. 

So gentlemen, the solution is to get out there and fuck. Quit being a cry baby bitch and fuck some slump busters and pump some mojo into this program.

And post pics in the appropriate board. 

So you took the phrase "fuck the sooners" literally.

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ClubWhatever

ClubWhatever 12087

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, TornACL said:

What this program needs is slump busters. 

In summer 2005 I was distraught about our 2000-2004 losing streak to the Sooners and afraid that our best team in decades would get ruined by those shits.

So I happened to meet a girl over the summer who was a Sooner. She wasn't great, but she was alright... enough.  And I knew what I needed to do and I laid the wood to her all summer. And I said goodbye by the end of August.

And then what happened? We peed on OU for the first time in forever.

I basically deserve as much credit as Vince Young for that season. 

So gentlemen, the solution is to get out there and fuck. Quit being a cry baby bitch and fuck some slump busters and pump some mojo into this program.

And post pics in the appropriate board. 

Dad?

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Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, TornACL said:

What this program needs is slump busters. 

I honestly do feel like a cupcake schedule leading into OU would do some good. Give the team live game reps and build confidence. Instead of entering the game 3-2 every year against a 5-0 Sooner team.

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USNALonghorn

USNALonghorn 5024

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Posted
1 hour ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

I honestly do feel like a cupcake schedule leading into OU would do some good. Give the team live game reps and build confidence. Instead of entering the game 3-2 every year against a 5-0 Sooner team.

A lot of our fan base bitches about other teams’ easy OOC schedules. Meanwhile we’ve had a losing OOC record during a significant portion of the seasons since 2013.

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  • 2 weeks later...
MillerEP

MillerEP 30339

Posted
Posted

I honestly do believe that we're cursed too. However, I think it might be because the Hex Rally backfired on us. When aggy left we stopped doing it (fell apart when they left but I think actual last one was 2011). We need to bring it back, but instead of trying to "Hex" aggy, we need to use it to clear the curse we have on us.

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UTEX_ME

UTEX_ME 4754

Posted
Posted (edited)
22 minutes ago, MillerEP said:

I honestly do believe that we're cursed too. However, I think it might be because the Hex Rally backfired on us. When aggy left we stopped doing it (fell apart when they left but I think actual last one was 2011). We need to bring it back, but instead of trying to "Hex" aggy, we need to use it to clear the curse we have on us.

tried to bring it back for TCU* in 2012 but I believe it was raining and no one showed up... then it never came back. 

Edited by UTEX_ME
TCU not TEch
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