Jump to content

Abbott: Texas creating standards to shield kids from "pornography & obscene content" in public schools.

atomheartbevo

By atomheartbevo
in Cloak Room

 Share

Recommended Posts

Mole

Mole 4340

Posted
Posted

This wenche thikke and wel ygrowen was,
With kamus nose and eyen greye as glas,
With buttoked brode, and brestes rounde and hye;
But right fair was hire heer, I wol nat lye.
 

Or:

I was afraid to raise my eyelids, but looked out and saw perfectly under the lashes. The fair girl went on her knees, and bent over me, fairly gloating. There was a deliberate voluptuousness which was both thrilling and repulsive, and as she arched her neck she actually licked her lips like an animal, till I could see in the moonlight the moisture shining on the scarlet lips and on the red tongue as it lapped the white sharp teeth. Lower and lower went her head as the lips went below the range of my mouth and chin and seemed to fasten on my throat. I could feel the soft, shivering touch of the lips on the supersensitive skin of my throat, and the hard dents of two sharp teeth, just touching and pausing there. I closed my eyes in a languorous ecstacy and waited – waited with beating heart.

And of course:

Come, my love,
let’s go to the field;
let’s spend the night among the henna blossoms.
Let’s go early to the vineyards;
let’s see if the vine has budded,
if the blossom has opened,
if the pomegranates are in bloom.
There I will give you my love.
The mandrakes give off a fragrance,
and at our doors is every delicacy—
new as well as old.
I have treasured them up for you, my love.

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Mole

Mole 4340

Posted
Posted (edited)

More classic and weird smut:


When that person whose heart I long to stop with the click of a revolver put his hand or hands under your skirts did he only tickle you outside or did he put his finger or fingers up into you? If he did, did they go far enough to touch that little cock at the end of your cunt? Did he touch you behind? Was he a long time tickling you and did you come? Did he ask you to touch him and did you do so? If you did not touch him did he come against you and did you feel it?
 

…When you were with him in the dark at night did your fingers never, never unbutton his trousers and slip inside like mice? 
 

…At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue come bursting out through your lips and if I gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her.

Edited by Mole
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Bullneck

Bullneck 19528

Posted
Posted
On 11/8/2021 at 6:27 PM, atomheartbevo said:

This is Don Huffines' fault by the way.  He's living in Abbott's head rent-free 24/7, and as soon as Huffines tweets or retweets something like this, Abbott and Co. are working out how to implement it.

That's genius at work.  Smart man.

It's a good thing no one can see free porn on their home computers, ipads, or iphones anytime.  Because if that were the case we'd be in trouble.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • 1 month later...
hpslugga

hpslugga 4097

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, crash_davis said:

if abbott and the "christian" right had their way, our textbooks and curriculum would be the below. it's 2022 and dumbfucks are still alive and thriving.

5p59bjtz8t981.jpg

It never ceases to amaze me that any living person in 2022 would take literally the fairy tale of the global flood. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, hpslugga said:

It never ceases to amaze me that any living person in 2022 would take literally the fairy tale of the global flood. 

Have this conversation with an Evangelical:

"Using a surveyor instrument to find the exact spot every single year for ten years...watch this timelapse video of the same exact spot at differing tidal points...showing the gradual flooding of coastal zones around the planet, on various continents.  While not a flood all at once like we are used to seeing in low level spots in Texas, it is happening slowly and steadily." 

"I can see what you're saying, I can even measure it myself...but I don't believe it.  It's not happening.  All scientists around the world are lying or are mistaken." 

"But you believe that a great flood wiped out everything on Earth just 5,000 years ago based on a metaphor written long ago in the most frequently translated book in human history?"

"Well yeah.  Duh!"  

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Mrs Whiggins

Mrs Whiggins 13050

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, Captainant said:

it's really crazy to watch older documentaries and see and hear the trumpism in action. We just didn't have a word for it yet. "Somebody's gotta stand up to these experts!" is a nice ending to that trailer.

Which raises the question as to why we should believe the four out of five dentists who recommend Crest. What makes those four experts, I ask you Mr. Mcleroy?!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Brisketexan

Brisketexan 106899

Posted
Posted
10 minutes ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

Which raises the question as to why we should believe the four out of five dentists who recommend Crest. What makes those four experts, I ask you Mr. Mcleroy?!

Also, I always thought that it would be really edgy to name your rebellious punk band "The Fifth Dentist."  FUCK YOU, I WON'T RECOMMEND CREST LIKE THE OTHER SHEEP!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Mrs Whiggins

Mrs Whiggins 13050

Posted
Posted

Looking at the text of the workbook in the photo, it is illustrative that the sentence reads, "...people who reject the Bible..."

Very cut and dried thinking.

I'm wondering if it is ever made clear regarding humans and dinosaurs existing together as to how they got along? Domesticating a brontosaurus would've been quite the struggle I imagine.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
abuelo gringo

abuelo gringo 333

Posted
Posted
10 minutes ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

Looking at the text of the workbook in the photo, it is illustrative that the sentence reads, "...people who reject the Bible..."

Very cut and dried thinking.

I'm wondering if it is ever made clear regarding humans and dinosaurs existing together as to how they got along? Domesticating a brontosaurus would've been quite the struggle I imagine.

Hey, those of us who grew up in the '50s aren't surprised.

 

828133085_alleyoop.thumb.jpg.2d02aadd054001a6205947e41a7c0801.jpg

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Willfully Horn

Willfully Horn 8264

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 11/9/2021 at 8:52 PM, Dutchrudder said:

My favorite bible verse of all time:ezekiel-2320-mens-t-shirt.jpg

Ha! Reading further, I think a lot of folks are in for some trouble. Not Vic, though.

22 “Therefore, Oholibah, this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I will stir up your lovers against you, those you turned away from in disgust, and I will bring them against you from every side—
 

(Oholibah. LOL).

Edited by Willfully Horn
Spelling
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Shaddie

Shaddie 1684

Posted
Posted
26 minutes ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

 

I'm wondering if it is ever made clear regarding humans and dinosaurs existing together as to how they got along? Domesticating a brontosaurus would've been quite the struggle I imagine.

Supposedly Jefferson thought Lewis and Clark might find dinos when he sent them out. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted

So my idea in 2nd grade of just bringing in a video of "The Flintstones" for my class to watch, that would actually be considered an educational documentary now...showing how man and dinosaur co-existed.  Instead, Mrs. Schilling scolded me and told me to take my "baby cartoons back to my cubby hole at once!"  

Okay, use their insane 7,000 years old number or whatever the fuck it is.  Forget carbon dating.  Let's agree on 7,000.  So we have 7,000 years of cave paintings, animal hide drawings, carvings, even rudimentary sculptures.  Then move forward through Bronze and Iron.  We have paintings, oils, clays, and coals.  Then we get to writings.  From the Greeks to the Chinese to the Incas to the Sumerians to the Egyptians, the Indus Valley, the Persians.  All those texts from observational to religious to natural to political to fictional.  Thousands of years of data across tens of thousands of societies and civilizations. 

All those words, all those pictures, all those songs, all that oral history........contemplating everything from the sky to the sea to the animals to the gods to the ancients to the future to the mountains to the village.  Not one solitary fucking instance of some guy noting, "And holy shit, there's these super huge creatures with little arms and massive teeth, about the height of 3 or 4 of me.  And it just periodically rampages through our huts, as seen here in this illustration, and eats our children.  That one is super scary as shit.  There's this other one that's twice as tall as our tallest tree and he pretty much lets us alone but our trees are all barren now so we have no leaves to use.  And don't get me started on the one in the sky with wings at least as wide as our largest creek.  Thing just blocks out the sun, must be the gods angry at us because that fucker just swoops down and grabs whatever small game we've hunted that day.  I'll attempt a painting of this one shortly after his midday attacks are over."  

5,000 documented and indexed cave paintings with birds, bison, ox, and snake.  Not one fucking T-Rex, the coolest fucking thing to ever walk our planet?  That's just a lazy artist, that's all that is.  He's just milking the chieftain for a commission advance, that's all that is.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites
pantone159

pantone159 729

Posted
Posted
42 minutes ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

I'm wondering if it is ever made clear regarding humans and dinosaurs existing together as to how they got along?

Here are a couple of documentaries as to how this all went. I suppose these will escape the burnings since they are biblically accurate.

https://www.amazon.com/Taken-T-Rex-Dinosaur-Erotica-Christie-ebook/dp/B00FI9JFFO

https://www.amazon.com/Ravished-Triceratops-Dinosaur-Erotica-Christie-ebook/dp/B00NXKATTQ

51f+cNHRVOL._SY346_.jpg

51E6T1Yo43L._SY346_.jpg

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 90650

Posted
  • Author
Posted
3 hours ago, hpslugga said:

It never ceases to amaze me that any living person in 2022 would take literally the fairy tale of the global flood. 

1 hour ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

Looking at the text of the workbook in the photo, it is illustrative that the sentence reads, "...people who reject the Bible..."

Very cut and dried thinking.

I'm wondering if it is ever made clear regarding humans and dinosaurs existing together as to how they got along? Domesticating a brontosaurus would've been quite the struggle I imagine.

I'm just amazed that they acknowledge the existence of dinosaurs.

That's some actual progress.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
TexPx

TexPx 2336

Posted
Posted
Looking at the text of the workbook in the photo, it is illustrative that the sentence reads, "...people who reject the Bible..."
Very cut and dried thinking.
I'm wondering if it is ever made clear regarding humans and dinosaurs existing together as to how they got along? Domesticating a brontosaurus would've been quite the struggle I imagine.

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Nivek

Nivek 17415

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, hpslugga said:

It never ceases to amaze me that any living person in 2022 would take literally the fairy tale of the global flood. 

those idiots think dinosaur fossils are actually bones?   haha haha haha  haha hahaha ha ha ha ha....  haha, oh man, my 4th grader knows better.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
hpslugga

hpslugga 4097

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

I'm just amazed that they acknowledge the existence of dinosaurs.

That's some actual progress.

 

 

Ah yes, you refer to the “there’s no such thing as dinosaurs; those large things were fire breathing dragons” crowd.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Beau Vine

Beau Vine 55867

Posted
Posted
19 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Also, I always thought that it would be really edgy to name your rebellious punk band "The Fifth Dentist."  FUCK YOU, I WON'T RECOMMEND CREST LIKE THE OTHER SHEEP!

For fuck's sake, it wasn't CREST!!  It was sugar-free gun (trident?).

Link to comment
Share on other sites
High Plains Drifter

High Plains Drifter 11189

Posted
Posted

 

I think I've told this story before, but I'll tell it again:

 

I used to volunteer at a small, private, nature preserve place that allowed visitors to hike on the property. I would lead educational hikes and talk about the geology of the area. Typically, this would be school groups of elementary age kids, but sometimes groups of adults.

So once I had this group of 20 or so elementary age kids with a couple of parents/chaperones. I was saying something like "20 million years ago, a large flow of lava covered this entire area. This was probably not a single event, but took place over thousands ofyears blah blah blah" when one of the chaperones interrupts to tell me "we believe the Earth is only 6,000 years old."

Turns out this was a christian home school group.

I said "get the fuck the out of here, this hike is over."

No actually, I paused for a minute, then said "How ever long ago you believe, a large flow of lava covered this entire area. This was probably not a single event, but took place over how ever many years you believe blah blah blah".

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Mrs Whiggins

Mrs Whiggins 13050

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

I think I've told this story before, but I'll tell it again:

 

I used to volunteer at a small, private, nature preserve place that allowed visitors to hike on the property. I would lead educational hikes and talk about the geology of the area. Typically, this would be school groups of elementary age kids, but sometimes groups of adults.

So once I had this group of 20 or so elementary age kids with a couple of parents/chaperones. I was saying something like "20 million years ago, a large flow of lava covered this entire area. This was probably not a single event, but took place over thousands ofyears blah blah blah" when one of the chaperones interrupts to tell me "we believe the Earth is only 6,000 years old."

Turns out this was a christian home school group.

I said "get the fuck the out of here, this hike is over."

No actually, I paused for a minute, then said "How ever long ago you believe, a large flow of lava covered this entire area. This was probably not a single event, but took place over how ever many years you believe blah blah blah".

 

 

I can picture this, knowing a few folks with whom I have contact whose beliefs were similar. I've noticed that with some groups, (but not all) the math skills are less than optimal. A good opportunity to introduce the concept of the completely fabricated geological Leap Millenia, such as "in five thousand Leap Millenia, a large flow of lava covered this entire area". If one says it fast enough, only the most curious will question it and it's easily explained away as "you know, when the Earth was younger."

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted

I am still a man of godly faith despite my admiration and wonderment of science and astronomy.  

I get that so much discovery can be a huge challenge to one's faith as taught from the bible/church. 

But the age of the Earth?  How the fuck does that matter to your relationship with Christ?  He wasn't around, I wasn't around...it doesn't fucking matter!  Sure maybe the bible's teachings on some other topics may color your politics or morals.  But the age of the Earth and the stars around it...just acknowledge, "Yeah, there's no fucking way that many stars got that big and got that far away in 6000 years.  The dinosaurs probably didn't live alongside us or we'd have a painting about it somewhere."  And then move the fuck on.  Keep your hatred of women and gays but just acquiesce on something that has nothing to do with your faith.  Let your brain that you've been beating down like an inquisitive child have this one victory so it can have some sense of normalcy again.  Constantly fighting just overwhelming evidence and even gut reaction to truth has to be exhausting. 

If Christianity was smart, it would go Marvel franchise and re-order the books of the bible.  Just start with the big events brought on by God in the first testament with some sequels peppered in.  Then you go and do the origin story, Genesis, in the middle of the franchise, before closing with the big hero and his time saving us.  and then tease out the ending to the whole franchise story, "Revalations"  

I think the only reason evangelicals cling so hard to Genesis and won't give an inch on what they know is just a metaphorical attempt to explain things before we could explain things...is because Genesis is the first book.  And most of them never make it more than a few dozen pages into the bible before giving up and just relying on mega churches and cliff's notes.  By the time they get to "love one another as I have loved you", their brains are melted and they can't onboard any more messages.  So it's just this lifelong struggle to shove everything they observe and absorb into this, "yes, well all lava is 6000 years old" container.  It's fucking sad actually.   

Link to comment
Share on other sites
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...