Tell Me About Texas a&m

[LW Goatman 1125]

On 9/12/2019 at 8:31 AM, Leanderman said:

Since T-Bone Pickens attended colley station for one semester, do the gomers want a share of his inheritance yet? Also have they claimed him as one of their own? 

 

[Leanderman 2276]

He went one semester, not one year. Spinning a fairy tale already.

[Go Pokes 979]

Fucking hilarious. And, at the same time, nice to know there are many, many others out there who share the same objective opinion of those costumed redneck idiots.

There’s a bit too much humor in that for you to have written it,but you must have contributed to it

[ousux 5602]

Can't wait to hear the excuses when the gomers lose to swamp tigah by more than 7 points..

[horngrad03 1150]

20 minutes ago, ousux said:

Can't wait to hear the excuses when the gomers lose to swamp tigah by more than 7 points..

"We played them on the road ya dumb sip.  And they obviously had a working AC in their home locker room."

[Dennis Taylor 18871]

1 hour ago, LW Goatman said:

 

I never even fucking knew that he went here until just now, but I think he still likes us...

 

 

 

 

[deft 6879]

Hmm.. im no katfid or bill tench but looks like the recruit done stolt him a johnny foozball jersey.

Groesbeck sucks donkey balls, I can say so with authority because I’m from Mexia.

[Sgt Hulk 13840]

13 minutes ago, deft said:

 

Groesbeck sucks donkey balls, I can say so with authority because I’m from Mexia.

 

Here here. Black cat life. Fuck the goats 

[Dennis Taylor 18871]

6 hours ago, williemackgarza said:

Hmm.. im no katfid or bill tench but looks like the recruit done stolt him a johnny foozball jersey.
 

according to maxpreps he graduated in 2018

 

https://www.maxpreps.com/athlete/nick-mosley/1sCdQ2yIEea-8KA2nzwbTA/awards.htm

[Iceman 2725]

Texas A&M Corps of Cadets found guilty of 143 years of stolen valor 

COLLEGE STATION, Texas – The student body of Texas A&M University was rocked today by news that their Corps of Cadets is guilty of stolen valor and has been for 143 years. Authorities reached a guilty verdict after discovering that despite wearing uniforms in public, displaying military medals, and being big time hardos, less than half of cadets go on to serve in the military.

“The fact that these kids and this institution have let this go on for over a century is unconscionable,” says lead investigator Winston Hughes. “While it does not appear any of the cadets were able to translate their fake military status into getting laid, the vast majority did attempt to get free apps at the local Chili’s every Veterans’ Day.”

 

Stolen Valor is typically defined as an individual wearing a military uniform and impersonating a member of the armed forces despite never having served.  Texas A&M released a statement clarifying that, while the majority of their Cadets don’t commission into the armed forces, some do and all of them take their “dress up and march around stuff” very seriously.

The school also stressed the importance of imagination in developing young minds. “Whether that involves imagining you go to Hogwarts or imagining you attend a military academy, the principle remains the same,” Booster Club President Jimbob Joe Houston notes.

Houston was also quick to point out the school’s status as a Senior Military College, a special designation granted to several institutions after the Civil War authorizing their students to wear fancy boots and get high and tight haircuts unironically.  However, detractors point out, that authorization is for individuals who are actually going to join the military and does not cover those who are live-action role-playing as soldiers from the Spanish-American War.

The nail in the coffin for A&M’s stolen valor case was the fact that unlike other Senior Military Colleges—such as the Citadel or the Virginia Military Institute—it’s possible to be a student at the school without being a fake ROTC weirdo.

 

“Over 69,000 students will attend class this year in College Station while only about 2,500 will dress up and ask people to thank them for their service” Hughes notes.

When reached for comment, member of the Corps Josh Taylor was unapologetic.

“How am I stealing valor by just wearing a uniform?  Like I owe some kind of service to the country?” Taylor says. “I bought these boots with my parents’ own money, and donated my time to appearing on ESPN football broadcasts all fall.  The nation has been compensated.”

“If anything, you could say I’m overcompensating”

Edited September 14, 2019 by Iceman

[Iceman 2725]

"live action role playing as soldiers from the Spanish-American War" is so freaking spot on...

Edited September 14, 2019 by Iceman

[MrPhlegm 3413]

Fucking hilarious. And, at the same time, nice to know there are many, many others out there who share the same objective opinion of those costumed redneck idiots.

Like this Rice graduate (two degrees) who made sure that aggy horseshit was exposed far and wide.

[MrPhlegm 3413]

Texas A&M Corps of Cadets found guilty of 143 years of stolen valor 

COLLEGE STATION, Texas – The student body of Texas A&M University was rocked today by news that their Corps of Cadets is guilty of stolen valor and has been for 143 years. Authorities reached a guilty verdict after discovering that despite wearing uniforms in public, displaying military medals, and being big time hardos, less than half of cadets go on to serve in the military.

“The fact that these kids and this institution have let this go on for over a century is unconscionable,” says lead investigator Winston Hughes. “While it does not appear any of the cadets were able to translate their fake military status into getting laid, the vast majority did attempt to get free apps at the local Chili’s every Veterans’ Day.”

 

Stolen Valor is typically defined as an individual wearing a military uniform and impersonating a member of the armed forces despite never having served.  Texas A&M released a statement clarifying that, while the majority of their Cadets don’t commission into the armed forces, some do and all of them take their “dress up and march around stuff” very seriously.

The school also stressed the importance of imagination in developing young minds. “Whether that involves imagining you go to Hogwarts or imagining you attend a military academy, the principle remains the same,” Booster Club President Jimbob Joe Houston notes.

Houston was also quick to point out the school’s status as a Senior Military College, a special designation granted to several institutions after the Civil War authorizing their students to wear fancy boots and get high and tight haircuts unironically.  However, detractors point out, that authorization is for individuals who are actually going to join the military and does not cover those who are live-action role-playing as soldiers from the Spanish-American War.

The nail in the coffin for A&M’s stolen valor case was the fact that unlike other Senior Military Colleges—such as the Citadel or the Virginia Military Institute—it’s possible to be a student at the school without being a fake ROTC weirdo.

 

“Over 69,000 students will attend class this year in College Station while only about 2,500 will dress up and ask people to thank them for their service” Hughes notes.

When reached for comment, member of the Corps Josh Taylor was unapologetic.

“How am I stealing valor by just wearing a uniform?  Like I owe some kind of service to the country?” Taylor says. “I bought these boots with my parents’ own money, and donated my time to appearing on ESPN football broadcasts all fall.  The nation has been compensated.”

“If anything, you could say I’m overcompensating”

 

22555

 

[MrPhlegm 3413]

Poor aggys. Heartbreaking loss to K-State. SEC SEC SEC BOO HOO HOO

[Hiphopopotamos 20888]

Mond 4 Heisman talk gone after game 2. Now by the end of game 3 they’re ready to look for replacements. 

 

 

[sushihorn 3233]

22 minutes ago, Hiphopopotamos said:

Mond 4 Heisman talk gone after game 2. Now by the end of game 3 they’re ready to look for replacements. 

 

 

How can there be a QB battle if Mond declares early after winning the Heisman?

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

29 minutes ago, Hiphopopotamos said:

Mond 4 Heisman talk gone after game 2. Now by the end of game 3 they’re ready to look for replacements. 

 

 

And the loser will transfer-portal out, so this will be typically great Aggie roster management. The recruiting pitch builds itself: "Come to A&M and sit behind entrenched seniors you're better than" or "Come to A&M and get benched as a senior so you can watch a sophomore throw INTs in the biggest games of the last year of your college career". 

[dingleberryswitzer 2724]

3 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

And the loser will transfer-portal out, so this will be typically great Aggie roster management.

Transfer to Oklahoma and win a hesiman

[texaslong 678]

12 minutes ago, sushihorn said:

How can there be a QB battle if Mond declares early after winning the Heisman?

Wasn't Brent part of the media talking about Mond possibly having a first round grade after this season? 

[Leanderman 2276]

Man bun will go from all district to all world. Advantage.....gomers.

[TexasMan 10987]

 

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

1 hour ago, texaslong said:

Wasn't Brent part of the media talking about Mond possibly having a first round grade after this season? 

THINK HOW GOOD THAT MAKES THE GUY BEHIND HIM!!!

By the Aggie Transitive Property of measuring QBs, going back to when Dustin Long was replaced by Reggie McNeal, A&M should by now be starting a 70-foot tall cyborg at QB. If he can hold off the multi-dimensional Demogorgon they signed last year, that is.

[Chopper 17245]

That calzone dude must've really been impressive against Lamar's 3rd stringers if they think he's going to beat out this year's Heisman winner. 

Edited September 15, 2019 by Chopper

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

2 hours ago, dingleberryswitzer said:

Transfer to Oklahoma and win a hesiman

you have more faith in Nick Starkel and Jagger LaRue than I do

[MrPhlegm 3413]

Cross posted from the Joseph Ossai thread.

 

 

Look for John Sharp to announce a new $500M computer science center within a month. 

Lulz.

 

Csb. Back when I was working for the state as a computer operator the feds wanted some data to analyze from our medicaid utilization files. These files were 40 to 60 tape reels long. And the feds wanted data from years of these files. Boxes and boxes and boxes of tape reels. We didn't have any excess capacity on our two IBM 370/158 mainframes to extract the data that the feds wanted as we were running both 158's at 110% of capacity. UT had CDC computers so we couldn't use them. None of the other state agencies had excess capacity either. aggy was an IBM shop and had excess capacity so we contracted with them to extract the data. We sent the programmer that wrote the extract program and jcl over to aggy with the tapes to oversee the extracts. This went on for several months. During this time aggy was in the process of upgrading their mainframe. aggy chose Amdahl mainframes to replace their IBM mainframes. Amdahl was an IBM 370 clone that was faster and cheaper than IBM's 370s.

 

So while our programmer (a Horn) was in aggy's computer center Amdahl rolls up with a truckload of new mainframes, unload them and the Amdahl SE's start installing them. SE's get em installed and hooked up and start putting the panels on the cabinets that housed the mainframe hardware.

 

Here are some pics of Amdahl mainframes of that era.

 

 

When aggy saw the panels they went ballistic and demanded that Amdahl replace the hideously offensive panels with ones of another color. Amdahl told aggy that that was the color they came in that there wasn't any other color.

 

aggy then told Amdahl that either they replace the panels or haul their goddamn t.u. colored computers the hell out of there.

 

Amdahl got some maroon spray paint from Gibsons and covered up the t.u. orange.

 

Our programmer saw and heard it all and reported it back to us and we all had a good laugh.

 

http://archive.michigan-terminal-system.org/discussions/published-information/x1c28amdahlupdatenewsletter1985

 

[mention=3314]aggypedia[/mention] you may use this story if you wish.

 

 

[Modessit 5605]

Cross posted from the Joseph Ossai thread.

 

 

 

Lulz. 

Csb. Back when I was working for the state as a computer operator the feds wanted some data to analyze from our medicaid utilization files. These files were 40 to 60 tape reels long. And the feds wanted data from years of these files. Boxes and boxes and boxes of tape reels. We didn't have any excess capacity on our two IBM 370/158 mainframes to extract the data that the feds wanted as we were running both 158's at 110% of capacity. UT had CDC computers so we couldn't use them. None of the other state agencies had excess capacity either. aggy was an IBM shop and had excess capacity so we contracted with them to extract the data. We sent the programmer that wrote the extract program and jcl over to aggy with the tapes to oversee the extracts. This went on for several months. During this time aggy was in the process of upgrading their mainframe. aggy chose Amdahl mainframes to replace their IBM mainframes. Amdahl was an IBM 370 clone that was faster and cheaper than IBM's 370s.

 

So while our programmer (a Horn) was in aggy's computer center Amdahl rolls up with a truckload of new mainframes, unload them and the Amdahl SE's start installing them. SE's get em installed and hooked up and start putting the panels on the cabinets that housed the mainframe hardware.

 

Here are some pics of Amdahl mainframes of that era.

 

 

When aggy saw the panels they went ballistic and demanded that Amdahl replace the hideously offensive panels with ones of another color. Amdahl told aggy that that was the color they came in that there wasn't any other color.

 

aggy then told Amdahl that either they replace the panels or haul their goddamn t.u. colored computers the hell out of there.

 

Amdahl got some maroon spray paint from Gibsons and covered up the t.u. orange.

 

Our programmer saw and heard it all and reported it back to us and we all had a good laugh.

 

http://archive.michigan-terminal-system.org/discussions/published-information/x1c28amdahlupdatenewsletter1985

 

[mention=3314]aggypedia[/mention] you may use this story if you wish.

 

 

Those pics take me back. When I was in the AF with US Space Command I used to work on IBM Series 1 and Xerox Sigma III mainframes and peripherals (repair, not operate). Always wondered why we had shit from the 70's when it was the late 80s - especially for Early Warning.

 

[MrPhlegm 3413]

Those pics take me back. When I was in the AF with US Space Command I used to work on IBM Series 1 and Xerox Sigma III mainframes and peripherals (repair, not operate). Always wondered why we had shit from the 70's when it was the late 80s - especially for Early Warning. 

It's the feds. Except for NSA they can't do computers for shit.

And some state agencies couldn't either. We had two 370/158s and instead of swapping them out for Amdahls like Texas Employment Comission and aggy and the changeover was just a matter of unhooking the peripherals from the old mainframe and hooking em up to the new one and ipling the new system and you are off and running. Takes a weekend. Easy peasy. We had an open bidding process where the fix was in and we ended up with a Univac 1100/40 4×2. That computer was from an earlier generation. Took us 3 years to convert all the programs over. Pain in the ass. Somebody's palm got greased in that deal.

[bmbmd 1027]

And AC said “Let there be light”.

[RamjetFDO 10577]

Those pics take me back. When I was in the AF with US Space Command I used to work on IBM Series 1 and Xerox Sigma III mainframes and peripherals (repair, not operate). Always wondered why we had shit from the 70's when it was the late 80s - especially for Early Warning. 

Were you early warning only, or were you involved with the team that interacted with us at NASA? I worked with SPADOC/SPACECOM guys for orbital debris avoidance in the mid 80s through the end of the 90s.

[MrPhlegm 3413]

More bad news for aggy...

https://www.wbir.com/mobile/article/news/health/dont-kiss-chickens/67-dbf7d13d-7f28-45ac-9463-8fb5fbabb016

[Jkwellborn 6743]

More bad news for aggy...

https://www.wbir.com/mobile/article/news/health/dont-kiss-chickens/67-dbf7d13d-7f28-45ac-9463-8fb5fbabb016

The father of a friend of mine growing up had quite a few chicken houses. One of the Mexicans that worked for them always said they would tie a rope around a chickens legs to make a belt with the chicken as the buckle. Stick your dick in and make the chicken try to get away. Wth.

[Armybrat 40911]

2 hours ago, MrPhlegm said:

More bad news for aggy...

https://www.wbir.com/mobile/article/news/health/dont-kiss-chickens/67-dbf7d13d-7f28-45ac-9463-8fb5fbabb016

I’m sure aggy is all choked up about it.

[Beau Vine 54430]

8 minutes ago, Jkwellborn said:

The father of a friend of mine growing up had quite a few chicken houses. One of the Mexicans that worked for them always said they would tie a rope around a chickens legs to make a belt with the chicken as the buckle. Stick your dick in and make the chicken try to get away. Wth.

[Deej 76922]

11 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

I’m sure aggy is all choked up about it.

ISWYDT

[Topper13 3386]

18 minutes ago, Jkwellborn said:

The father of a friend of mine growing up had quite a few chicken houses. One of the Mexicans that worked for them always said they would tie a rope around a chickens legs to make a belt with the chicken as the buckle. Stick your dick in and make the chicken try to get away. Wth.

 

[SHOOTER12 8828]

2 hours ago, Topper13 said:

 

Devils Rejects holla, funny as hell.

Wish I could rep it more than once...

Edited September 16, 2019 by SHOOTER12

[BigSwingingD 719]

Agricultural and maintenance sucks. Fuck them. They are really weird. Like Branch Davidian weird.

Hook'em. 

[MrPhlegm 3413]

The father of a friend of mine growing up had quite a few chicken houses. One of the Mexicans that worked for them always said they would tie a rope around a chickens legs to make a belt with the chicken as the buckle. Stick your dick in and make the chicken try to get away. Wth.

https://youtu.be/4Y8H7-MTqrg 

 

[Modessit 5605]

Were you early warning only, or were you involved with the team that interacted with us at NASA? I worked with SPADOC/SPACECOM guys for orbital debris avoidance in the mid 80s through the end of the 90s.

I was Computer Maintenance, not Operations, so I'm not 100% sure of everything they did but it was mostly Early Warning. We knew if there was a big fire in the USSR. I was at Buckley outside Denver when it was still an ANGB and had to live on Lowry AFB because Buckley didn't have permanent party quarters. That changed after I got out and they closed Lowry and made Buckley an AFB. Had a mix of AF and Navy as Operators in the Control Room. Always thought it was funny to see Navy in Colorado.

[The University 851]

thought y'all were running on the wopr back then.

[sdm 892]

Shall we play a game?

 

[Modessit 5605]

It's the feds. Except for NSA they can't do computers for shit.

And some state agencies couldn't either. We had two 370/158s and instead of swapping them out for Amdahls like Texas Employment Comission and aggy and the changeover was just a matter of unhooking the peripherals from the old mainframe and hooking em up to the new one and ipling the new system and you are off and running. Takes a weekend. Easy peasy. We had an open bidding process where the fix was in and we ended up with a Univac 1100/40 4×2. That computer was from an earlier generation. Took us 3 years to convert all the programs over. Pain in the ass. Somebody's palm got greased in that deal.

It's always about the money. I remember when they installed a "new" piece of equipment in '88 that was water-cooled. Might have been a hard drive. Anyway, us maintenance guys were concerned about the PVC piping running next to the circuit boards with no shield between them. We put in a request to install some plexiglass with waterseal bonding between the pipes and the electronics. It went up the line and came down with a Denied Due to Cost Effectiveness stamp from some Major. Our supervisor made copies for everyone and had us take them home "to keep safe". Sure enough - a few months down the line there was a leak that took the whole thing down. Big wigs came down on us and guess what? - the denial memo had disappeared. My boss turned in 30 copies of it and that Major got reassigned.

[Leanderman 2276]

Of course we can never forget all the gomer basketball players who majored in...………………...poultry science.

[utee94 15862]

1 hour ago, The University said:

thought y'all were running on the wopr back then.

 

1 hour ago, sdm said:

Shall we play a game?

 

Hot damn I'd piss on a sparkplug if I thought it'd do any good!

[nnm 36640]

Computer geek talk not going away ....

Advantage aggy 

[Armybrat 40911]

43 minutes ago, Leanderman said:

Of course we can never forget all the gomer basketball players who majored in...………………...poultry science.

Preparation for their careers with Popeye’s, KFC, & Church’s.

[Randolph Duke 4034]

1 hour ago, Armybrat said:

Preparation for their careers with Popeye’s, KFC, & Church’s.

You are not properly applying "aggy redneck logic."

Since every aggy is an identical copy of every other aggy and individualism is non-existent in aggy culture, aggy redneck logic follows that because one aggy graduate once rose to the level of CEO of a Fortune 500 company, every other aggy has exactly the same skills, abilities and education as that one aggy. 1 out of 600,000 means all 600,000 are the same as the one. Santino Marchiol is no different than JimBob Houston, Thomas Johnson, or the little drunk boy who played quarterback at aggy and showed up for the NFL coked out of his mind. As far as aggys know, they are all as smart as every Fortune 500 CEO (because, as every aggy will tell you, every Fortune 500 CEO is also an identical carbon copy of every other.)

According to aggy redneck logic every aggy working at Popeye’s, KFC, & Church’s; landscaping your front yard; or building things that may or may not collapse; is a leader of industry and super-duper redneck smart! Whoop! They all is rough-tough super-duper real army he-roes who wins wars all by theirselves!

aggys is super smart, because one aggy once did something positive. They knows this because in Fish Camp they was told they is smart and is "special." They lernt in redneck bi-oligy that nut squeezin' sends additional blood to the brain.Them aggys running around campus in their silly costumes and live-action role-playing as soldiers from the Spanish-American War is super smart! Whoop!

Advantage aggy.

 

 

 

Edited September 16, 2019 by Randolph Duke

[DanTheHorn 4966]

As I view the rankings it must be killing aggy to not be able to say they are the highest ranked 1 loss team as they move on to being the highest ranked two loss team this week. Not to mention, soon they will be the best 4 loss team in college football as they are proudly able to claim at some point by the end of every season.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21921]

They never say they're the highest ranked 1, 2, 3, 4 etc loss team because they never are.  They always say they are the best however many loss team in the country because they can justify that in their minds.  I'm sure there is a thread on TexAgs right now about that.

[miguelito 11312]

*running out of time.

not losing.

 

dipshits