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MrPhlegm

By MrPhlegm
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SwanderedTalent

SwanderedTalent 5761

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Posted
29 minutes ago, fattyflattie said:

Add a Rose bowl win in modern times; something aggy has not even sniffed. 

The Rose Bowl is the Rose Bowl, but even if you're irrationally inclined to be fair to A&M, you can say "won a literal BCS/NY6 bowl" and burn them even worse. 

In other words, the Rose Bowl itself has some extenuating circumstances. If you're not in the Big Ten or Pac-12, it's pretty hard to get there most years. But to never win ANY bowl that was Alliance/Coalition/BCS/NY6 affiliated at the time, going all the way back to the early 90s.... man, that is some amazing incompetence. Plenty of programs that we don't think of as top-shelf have won those bowls, like:

Boise State

TCU

UCF

Houston

Kansas

Louisville

Georgia Tech

Ole Miss

Utah 

Oklahoma State

Stanford

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Randolph Duke

Randolph Duke 4034

Posted
Posted (edited)

I'm trying to clean up some of my aggy-related files, but not making much progress.

A blast from the past, written by Judge Roybeanbag:

Quote

Judge Roybeanbag

The history of the aggie people is as confusing and complex as any culture that exists on earth. Yet, unlike many peoples that have adapted and evolved in response to external and internal influences over the centuries, the aggies have largely remained true to their roots. And they’re proud of it. As a result of passing on their beliefs and practices over the years, their behavior over time has been remarkably consistent. It is this consistency that makes them an exciting and fascinating group to study.

Who are the aggies? The relationship between the aggies and morons, idiots, and okies are often misunderstood. Contrary to widespread belief, the aggies are considered, and consider themselves, a separate people from the morons, idiots, and okies. Historically, the true stupidity of aggies has largely dominated over, and outnumbered all three other groups combined. The misconception that the four groups are related probably stems from the fact that morons and idiots have imitated many rituals and behaviors practiced by the aggies. However, aggies are a distinct group. [Although recent evidence (Solomon, Shyster, et. al…1995) suggests that at one time, probably early in the century, aggies and okies lived together and interbred in parts of Southern Oklahoma and Texas, hence, Arkansas was populated by their offspring.

What largely separates aggies from the others groups is their social interaction. Unlike okies, idiots, and morons, aggies are highly social creatures that tend to validate each other’s views and beliefs. This can lead to what scholars call a "groupthink delusion." It is believed that these delusions are the glue that have bound aggies everywhere together over the years.

The history of the aggie school of thought actually begins in ancient Greece, with the early philospher Slocumedes, who was the first to recognize that the absence of everything is equivalent to nothing. He had a large number of stupid followers and much of his works is still passed on from parent to child today. Stupicles, from Pheces, taught that all things could be crushed by a large enough piece of wood. His students, known as woodpeckers, practiced pet embalming, hand gestures, organized grunting and mastered many techniques in consuming solid food through their nasal cavities. Stupicles was also a prolific writer. Unfortunately, his twelve volumes of philosophical works, which he wrote entirely in the sand on an Egyptian beach, was lost during a high Mediterranean tide.

With the rise of the Roman Empire, many aggies sought the stability and steady work afforded by slavery. The aggies however, made poor slaves, and many were forced into Christianity for “entertainment of monks” and so that they could be fed to the lions. Others were driven out of the Roman Empire into Northern Europe where they settled many colonies. The void left by the fall of the Roman Empire provided the aggies an opportunity to flourish unhindered in Europe, hence Poland and France were populated.

The aggies didn’t fare so well during the industrial revolution since the philosophical and scientific frameworks of Descartes and Newton didn’t give much leeway to superstition and planned ignorance. More and more aggies found themselves falling into the ranks of the working masses. Aggies caused many early industrial accidents as they tried to fit into this rapidly changing society, and evidence of their engineering prowess remains, such as the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Their ways and practices were not appreciated in the new European culture; however, and increasingly many aggies sought refuge across the ocean in America. That is those who didn’t wind up sinking their ships in the North Atlantic.

Part of the problem in identifying an aggie is that they look and act much like anyone else until they do or say something decidedly stupid. Most aggies don’t think of themselves as morons, but rather as intelligent individuals. This makes it very difficult to reason with an aggie. Stupid acts can take many forms and vary in degree, but when an aggie commits one it is unmistakable. The majority of the times a aggie turns out to be nothing more than an inconvenience and source of humor to the innocent bystander. These incidents are played out on city streets, supermarkets and country Dairy Queens daily. However, there are times when these acts can get out of hand and be devastating. It is always wise to be on alert and prepared, and stay away from large stacks of logs, maroon-clad men wielding binoculars, or people with shaved heads and swords.

At times you may find yourself in close proximity to an aggie in the midst of a stupid spell. It is good advice not to approach them during an incident unless accompanied by a trained professional. If you find that you have no choice, then speak slowly and use small, soothing words. Never try to outwit an aggie since they will only interpret that as a hostile and aggressive act. Always let the aggie think they are superior. And under no circumstances let your face or hands, pets or livestock near aggies mouth.

Keep in mind at all times, that although an aggie may seem intelligent and civilized, they are not. It is an adaptive disguise developed over the centuries.

 

 

 

Edited by Randolph Duke
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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54432

Posted
Posted

She apparently is famous -- she created a meme!

https://time.com/5744175/kombucha-girl-tiktok-brittany-tomlinson-interview/

aggy network in action:

Quote

A 2018 Texas A&M University graduate, she earned a communications degree in the hopes of writing copy for Super Bowl commercials. But like many of her post-grad peers, she accepted whatever work she could find, rather than something she was passionate about. After a stint working in a call center that left her on the brink of depression—”Having people yell at you all day is really exciting and fun,” she jokes—Tomlinson found a new gig working in trust and investment services at a nearby bank.

 

When the kombucha video went viral, Tomlinson knew that her boss wouldn’t approve of the many “non-Christian captions,” as she puts it, that often came along with re-shares online. “[The work environment] is very conservative, very professional — I mean, it’s a southern bank in North Texas,” she says. Later in August, after Tomlinson posted more lauded clips (including one where she is literally sitting on the toilet), she says management feared her online presence could be a “liability” for the bank’s reputation.

She says she got let go on Sept. 4.

 

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SwanderedTalent

SwanderedTalent 5761

Posted
Posted (edited)

the judge roy beanbag stuff is all gold, but this in particular and the bolded part especially is art you can see from outer space

Quote

Part of the problem in identifying an aggie is that they look and act much like anyone else until they do or say something decidedly stupid. Most aggies don’t think of themselves as morons, but rather as intelligent individuals. This makes it very difficult to reason with an aggie. Stupid acts can take many forms and vary in degree, but when an aggie commits one it is unmistakable.     .............

At times you may find yourself in close proximity to an aggie in the midst of a stupid spell. It is good advice not to approach them during an incident unless accompanied by a trained professional. If you find that you have no choice, then speak slowly and use small, soothing words. Never try to outwit an aggie since they will only interpret that as a hostile and aggressive act. Always let the aggie think they are superior. And under no circumstances let your face or hands, pets or livestock near aggies mouth.

Edited by SwanderedTalent
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Randolph Duke

Randolph Duke 4034

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

 

Texas A&M hasn't had back-to-back winning seasons in conference play in over 20 years. Don't tell us about "since 2013" because regardless of the caliber of talent in the SEC, Texas A&M still hasn't even had back-to-back winning seasons in conference play in over 20 years.

Come tell us about SEC talent when you have finished above .500 in conference play two years in a row.

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Burt Macklin

Burt Macklin 19053

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Posted (edited)
On 4/23/2020 at 7:30 AM, Randolph Duke said:

Lol.

The rednecks were in a discussion about their historic rivalry with TCU and it touched on the 1994 season when the UT/ A&M game was moved to Nov 5 and Texas played Baylor on Thanksgiving weekend.

Evidently, in fish camp, the rednecks were taught to believe the reason the UT/ aggy game was moved was because of "great fear of the mighty sleeping giant" than ran rampant through UT administrators and alumni.

In reality, A&M was on probation in 1994 and their games were not allowed to be broadcast on television, so to fill the planned UT television slot on Thanksgiving, the network asked for the switch and the conference agreed. So, aggys being on probation got erased from aggy fish camp history and got replaced with "sippy were skerred."

The "killed a cadet" is probably a reference to Sessums being killed by the Baylor fans back in 1926. That was accepted as the time frame of the aggy fairy tale that they stole federal property (a field gun used on campus for practice by the cadets in hooking and unhooking to teams of horses) to effect a scheme to murder Baylor students on campus in retaliation (they are actually proud of that fairy tale).

My favorite part of the "aggy intent to commit mass murder on Baylor campus" fairy tale is they never explain how they planned on getting the ammunition. Because there was no artillery range anywhere close to College Station, there was no ammunition stored closer than San Antonio for the surplus field gun they practiced moving around with the horses. The only "ammunition" they would have been issued would have been wooden training rounds.

I don't care what caliber the gun is, it's kind of difficult to use it to commit mass murder of unarmed civilians on a college campus if you don't have any ammunition. But evidently that kind of high-level thinking flies above the aggy mentality.

 

Lol holy fuck. Only aggy could turn them being on probation for what they would consider very dishonorable acts if committed by another school into “tu wuz 2 scaired tuh play uz.”

23 hours ago, RomaVicta said:

They are very good at holding contradictory thoughts in their heads at the same time. 

They fled the Big 12 to get away from bullying unfair tu. tu had nothing to do with their 100 year decision.

Texas has offered to play them more than once. Texas is afraid of the Texas A&M Fightin' Texas Aggies from Texas.

Texas A&M's chancellor or president or collie said they'd play Texas anytime, anywhere. Texas A&M has declined offers and opportunities to play either in a bowl or on the schedule.

All Aggies  take pride in their military history and supposed standing as a military school. Fewer than 2% graduate and serve.

 

Ironically, they are irony deaf on every front.

I have to disagree with you here, pal. I think it’s actually that they can’t hold any thoughts in their head, so it doesn’t even register when they say something that contradicts what they said before. 

Edited by Burt Macklin
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RomaVicta

RomaVicta 30019

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Burt Macklin said:

Lol holy fuck. Only aggy could turn them being on probation for what they would consider very dishonorable acts if committed by another school into “tu wuz 2 scaired tuh play uz.”

I have to disagree with you here, pal. I think it’s actually that they can’t hold any thoughts in their head, so it doesn’t even register when they say something that contradicts what they said before. 

True. It is quite possible that single thoughts appear and disappear in rapid succession because of small cranial capacity. Let's team up for a paper in the Lancet.

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TexasMan

TexasMan 10987

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Posted

Boy - Gabe, Olin, and Looch spent damn near 3 hours self fellating themselves about how great of a night the SEC had at the draft last night! Especially compared to that putrid Big 12! Of course, none of aggy were there, but they'll soon be standing up their with their SEC brothers! Well, not next year... but the year after, aggy will be churning out those 1st rounders because of Jimbo's elite level recruiting by God. 

Also, Olin and Gabe get into it with some sports writer who calls in talking about how overrated Jimbo is around the 25 minute mark.

 

 

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TexAgsRadio/~5/ljMMigRhiqs/0130739-kkom.mp3

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texaslong

texaslong 678

Posted
Posted
33 minutes ago, TexasMan said:

Boy - Gabe, Olin, and Looch spent damn near 3 hours self fellating themselves about how great of a night the SEC had at the draft last night! Especially compared to that putrid Big 12! Of course, none of aggy were there, but they'll soon be standing up their with their SEC brothers! Well, not next year... but the year after, aggy will be churning out those 1st rounders because of Jimbo's elite level recruiting by God. 

Also, Olin and Gabe get into it with some sports writer who calls in talking about how overrated Jimbo is around the 25 minute mark.

 

 

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TexAgsRadio/~5/ljMMigRhiqs/0130739-kkom.mp3

What makes every single aggy so thin skinned? I've never met one that could take constructive criticism. 

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Cairn Horn88

Cairn Horn88 8283

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, TexasMan said:

Boy - Gabe, Olin, and Looch spent damn near 3 hours self fellating themselves about how great of a night the SEC had at the draft last night! Especially compared to that putrid Big 12! Of course, none of aggy were there, but they'll soon be standing up their with their SEC brothers! Well, not next year... but the year after, aggy will be churning out those 1st rounders because of Jimbo's elite level recruiting by God. 

Also, Olin and Gabe get into it with some sports writer who calls in talking about how overrated Jimbo is around the 25 minute mark.

 

 

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TexAgsRadio/~5/ljMMigRhiqs/0130739-kkom.mp3

This is the aggy rallying call....this is what they use to sell recruits to come join their clan....the success of the secsec and the number of players drafted....first round, second round, and so on.  I’m sure they will be crunching out graphs as soon as the draft ends, showing the “league’s” number of draftees...AND...they will do the same for the B12 and perhaps other conferences.  
 

Come here and go to the NFL.  They don’t have to be successful....just NOT losing to Texas is a win.

 

 

 

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17600

Posted
Posted
On 4/23/2020 at 2:52 PM, SwanderedTalent said:

The Rose Bowl is the Rose Bowl, but even if you're irrationally inclined to be fair to A&M, you can say "won a literal BCS/NY6 bowl" and burn them even worse. 

In other words, the Rose Bowl itself has some extenuating circumstances. If you're not in the Big Ten or Pac-12, it's pretty hard to get there most years. But to never win ANY bowl that was Alliance/Coalition/BCS/NY6 affiliated at the time, going all the way back to the early 90s.... man, that is some amazing incompetence. Plenty of programs that we don't think of as top-shelf have won those bowls, like:

Boise State

TCU

UCF

Houston

Kansas

Louisville

Georgia Tech

Ole Miss

Utah 

Oklahoma State

Stanford

What is a literal bowl?

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The University

The University 851

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Posted
Quote

While Texas A&M University will receive roughly $39.8 million from the government in emergency aid — the most of any Texas college and the 11th highest amount in the country — its university leaders have still been told to analyze budgets, said Amy Smith, the college’s senior vice president of chief marketing and communications officer. In addition, she said, all hiring must be approved by the president.

The flagship has estimated that it has already taken a $20 million hit for student reimbursements alone, with about $11.5 million for campus housing, $7 million in dining, and $1.5 million in parking.  

https://www.houstonchronicle.com/local/education/campus-chronicles/article/Texas-colleges-cut-budgets-in-response-to-15219871.php

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaha

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SwanderedTalent

SwanderedTalent 5761

Posted
Posted (edited)
13 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

What is a literal bowl?

well, the way I meant it was, won a bowl that was literally a BCS/NY6 bowl, so, the 1988 Cotton Bowl doesn't count because there was no Alliance/Coalition/BCS/Playoff. The 2013 Cotton doesn't count because it wasn't part of the then-current BCS grouping. 

I could have said "explicitly", perhaps that would have gotten less scrutiny than the word "literally". 

Edited by SwanderedTalent
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Randolph Duke

Randolph Duke 4034

Posted
Posted (edited)
8 hours ago, markstanco said:
22 hours ago, Beau Vine said:
 

That is pretty sad. Billy is embracing coattail riding so much he tweets about it. And look at ALL the likes on the tweet.

Liucci makes his money pandering to a simplistic audience. He simply lacks the ability to objectively analyze. His readership lacks the emotional maturity to seek out critical perspectives and comprehend their importance. His one salvation is those he writes for do not look back at his work or consider whether his work ages well.

It doesn't.

liucci rise to power.jpeg

Edited by Randolph Duke
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theaveragejon

theaveragejon 988

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Posted
54 minutes ago, Randolph Duke said:

Liucci makes his money pandering to a simplistic audience. He simply lacks the ability to objectively analyze. His readership lacks the emotional maturity to seek out critical perspectives and comprehend their importance. His one salvation is those he writes for do not look back at his work or consider whether his work ages well.

It doesn't.

liucci rise to power.jpeg

Aggy has one player drafted from that class I believe. Hall.

 

quick gander at that class leaves lots to be desired too. 

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Randolph Duke

Randolph Duke 4034

Posted
Posted (edited)
33 minutes ago, theaveragejon said:

Aggy has one player drafted from that class I believe. Hall.

 

quick gander at that class leaves lots to be desired too. 

Actually, that aggy recruiting class had more players serve time behind bars than had players contribute meaningful playing time on the football field. But I digress.

Liucci refusing to acknowledge his failed analysis of TAMU's 2013 recruiting class, and the of program's future recruiting prospects, is typical of Liucci and of aggy culture writ large.

aggys lack the ability to look back, review their thoughts and actions, learn from past mistakes, and improve their methodology (and results) as they move through time. Self-reflection and objective self-analysis are not traits found in the aggy culture. Their record of "achievement" stands as testament to the futility of the very culture they cling to like hair on soap.

So, Liucci doesn't grow as a professional. His analysis hasn't improved since past his simplistic pandering. He surrounds himself with like individuals. And in doing so, he exemplifies why aggy culture is so mocked and derided by others. aggys consciously choose not to learn from their past mistakes or from the mistakes of others.

And benefiting from the teachings of others, of course, is one of the central tenets of higher education. Outside of the trade school environment.

olin compilation.jpeg

Edited by Randolph Duke
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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17600

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Posted
11 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

It's just so odd to me.  Whether Texas sucked ass, was average, or actually pretty good, I would never, ever, ever, ever brag about how many picks, say, OU, TCU, and Baylor had.  Fuck them and f aggy for being bitch coattail riders.

When you have nothing of substance of you own, you live for the reflected glory.

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Cairn Horn88

Cairn Horn88 8283

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Randolph Duke said:

Liucci makes his money pandering to a simplistic audience. He simply lacks the ability to objectively analyze. His readership lacks the emotional maturity to seek out critical perspectives and comprehend their importance. His one salvation is those he writes for do not look back at his work or consider whether his work ages well.

It doesn't.

liucci rise to power.jpeg

"Liucci makes his money pandering to a simplistic audience. He simply lacks the ability to objectively analyze. His readership lacks the emotional maturity to seek out critical perspectives and comprehend their importance. His one salvation is those he writes for do not look back at his work or consider whether his work ages well."

 

i know a tv network where he would fit right in.

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RomaVicta

RomaVicta 30019

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Posted
7 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

When you have nothing of substance of you own, you live for the reflected glory.

Actually, there are people and entities with nothing of substance that maintain self-awareness and dignity. In college football, is there any other program in any conference that behaves as the Aggies do?

Does Missouri brag about the SEC draft? Does Illinois celebrate Ohio State's accomplishments or puff out their chest because they have B1G patches on their uniforms? No. 

I've never encountered anyone other than A&M who does that.

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Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18871

Posted
Posted
14 minutes ago, RomaVicta said:

Actually, there are people and entities with nothing of substance that maintain self-awareness and dignity. In college football, is there any other program in any conference that behaves as the Aggies do?

Does Missouri brag about the SEC draft? Does Illinois celebrate Ohio State's accomplishments or puff out their chest because they have B1G patches on their uniforms? No. 

I've never encountered anyone other than A&M who does that.

To be fair, Missouri is in the SEC East, which is still big boy football but its not real big boy football like the SEC west 

-Looch

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Johnny Sack

Johnny Sack 8397

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Posted
7 hours ago, Cairn Horn88 said:

"Liucci makes his money pandering to a simplistic audience. He simply lacks the ability to objectively analyze. His readership lacks the emotional maturity to seek out critical perspectives and comprehend their importance. His one salvation is those he writes for do not look back at his work or consider whether his work ages well."

 

i know a tv network where he would fit right in.

I don't know of one he wouldn't.

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RomaVicta

RomaVicta 30019

Posted
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44 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

To be fair, Missouri is in the SEC East, which is still big boy football but its not real big boy football like the SEC west 

-Looch

You mean the toughest division in the toughest football conference in the world?™

 

™Owned by Texags. All rights reserved.

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