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Tell Me About Texas a&m

MrPhlegm

By MrPhlegm
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Nivek

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500,000 alumni and not a single one is intellectually capable of solving the mystery of exactly which game the aggy yell leader tradition was originated.
Such an esteemed research university, imbued with a such a sense of history and tradition, and not one of those redneck fuckers has a clue about the actual history or tradition of their culture.
$1,000,000 cash is a lot of money for a trade school grad living in a tract home in Katy, driving a leased Ram pic-em-up truck. Yet not one of them was educated to the level necessary to understand which of the five home games their cringeworthy turdition was originated.
My offer to pay any aggy who can identify which 1907 game football game their yell leader turdition originated $1,000,000 has remained unclaimed for years. My guess is that it will never be claimed. There isn't an aggy alive who could figure out the mystery of which of the five football games such an important part of aggy culture originated. That doesn't say much about the quality of the aggy edumacation.
One in five chance, aggys. Come on, you dumbfuck rednecks. One out of five shot to win $1,000,000 and not a single aggy has been smart enough to identify the right game. Unlimited guesses. One out of five chance. And not a single aggy has figured it out.
That says a lot about the true value of the "aggy experience." They are complete dumbfucks.
 
The Story:
When A&M was an all-male military college in 1907, students often invited guests from Texas Women’s University to take the train to College Station and attend Aggie football games. Then as now, only a certain number of guest tickets were available, and these would be handed out based on seniority, so freshmen were rarely able to bring guests to the games.
According to legend, the Aggies were being out-scored so badly during one football game that the TWU students were threatening to leave the game due to boredom. To prevent this, the upperclassmen ordered the freshmen, or “fish,” to find a way to entertain their guests.  The freshmen raided a janitor’s closet and changed into the white coveralls they found there and began leading the crowd in yells from the track area in front of the stands. The freshmen got so much attention from the students of TWU that it was decided that only upperclassmen would be allowed to participate in this entertainment in the future.
Source: https://yell.tamu.edu/
The Clues
The year was 1907
It was a home football game
The Aggies were being badly outscored
One in five chance of getting it right, unlimited guesses, and not a single aggy has come close. And not a single aggy ever will.
The people of Texas deserve better than Texas A&M.
1803533073_aggy_ralphcopy.jpg.1084001ce6ee39c42aaf73db39e31fc3.jpg

You are a weird guy, but funny in a weird guy way.
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Gaffords

Gaffords 757

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13 hours ago, ousux said:
20 hours ago, Gaffords said:
I agree.  This tanking of how the #1 classes have done over their 4 year period is probably a better comparison.  If you take out Saban's recent 7 on the list, the win/loss numbers are interesting for most teams.
https://www.sportingnews.com/us/ncaa-football/list/best-no-1-recruiting-classes-since-2000-alabama-usc-texas-florida-notre-dame/38f3l91oroxu18abtuexxp87k

#1 class in the age of portal and NIL deals doesn't mean the same as it would before. aggy already went drunk Saudi Royal buying Jimbo from FSU and several recruiting classes, (this isn't the first) I can't wait to see how much they spend trying to keep this one together for more than a season. It will be glorious once again.

Not to mention on top of what they spend to keep this class together next year, there are those fresh recruits to buy next year...

Aggy, needing to show the world how they now have as much money as UT by paying Jimbo double and triple more than 97% of the other P5S coaches were making, made salaries skyrocket. 

Aggy will end up killing recruiting and retention... 5 and 4*s will be expecting NFL money before you know it. We might as well set a cap on it now and anyone busted spending above that, gets the one year death penalty, followed with a two year home field and bowl ban. Loss of all revenue the death year and 50% the next two. 

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Gaffords

Gaffords 757

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3 hours ago, Tex Pete said:

I believe they call it "men's chickball." At least, that dead doofus Branding Iron called it that. Well, he called it that when their team sucked, which was almost always.

I'm sure they've noticed the Penn transgender swimmer thing...  Over/Under on how long before aggy women's sports start fielding all transgender teams?

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MontereyMX

MontereyMX 875

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9 minutes ago, Gaffords said:

Not to mention on top of what they spend to keep this class together next year, there are those fresh recruits to buy next year...

Aggy, needing to show the world how they now have as much money as UT by paying Jimbo double and triple more than 97% of the other P5S coaches were making, made salaries skyrocket. 

Aggy will end up killing recruiting and retention... 5 and 4*s will be expecting NFL money before you know it. We might as well set a cap on it now and anyone busted spending above that, gets the one year death penalty, followed with a two year home field and bowl ban. Loss of all revenue the death year and 50% the next two. 

you are a mean mutherfucker  i like it!

Edited by MontereyMXmuthafucka
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Gaffords

Gaffords 757

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2 minutes ago, MontereyMXmuthafucka said:

you are a mean mutherfucker  i like it!

Funniest thing about it, when this blows up in their face and can't compete for all the recruits they want across board and they still haven't won shit, aggy will be the first crying foul and that everybody is cheating and conspiring together to hold aggy down.

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Randolph Duke

Randolph Duke 4034

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We already know that after the aggys killed those kids in that bonfire collapse, Homeland Security performed an investigation that declared, in part, the avoidable deaths were caused by the aggys having "a cultural bias that impedes risk identification."

""a cultural bias that impedes risk identification" is probably one of the most artful ways ever of asserting "those dumb fucks are completely ignorant to what is staring them right in the face."

Had the aggys had decent leadership, they would have taken the lessons learned at the cost of those lives and used that information to the benefit of themselves, and the people of Texas. But being aggys, of course they didn't.

The ags simply can't mentally process the concept of risk. That comes from being simple minded by nature, afraid of change, and poorly educated.

Of all the risks inherent to their new approach to potentially winning a national championship in football, do you think there is any chance, even a slim one, that the ags completely failed to identify at least one? They are well known to be completely ignorant to what most of us see as being plain as day.

This is going to be good. They have no clue how their vaunted recruiting class could completely collapse. They simply don't see that all of their bullshit dreams are about to be crushed.

Enjoy the show people, we are in the midst of an epic chapter of what we know as aggy.

aggy bonfire risk management.jpeg

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Handcruser

Handcruser 2805

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Not to mention on top of what they spend to keep this class together next year, there are those fresh recruits to buy next year...
Aggy, needing to show the world how they now have as much money as UT by paying Jimbo double and triple more than 97% of the other P5S coaches were making, made salaries skyrocket. 
Aggy will end up killing recruiting and retention... 5 and 4*s will be expecting NFL money before you know it. We might as well set a cap on it now and anyone busted spending above that, gets the one year death penalty, followed with a two year home field and bowl ban. Loss of all revenue the death year and 50% the next two. 

You mean….rules like we have now that aren’t enforced? That’s been shown not to work.
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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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On 2/9/2022 at 4:30 AM, Longboard Horn said:

The future of what aggy fans will look like every game even with all their bought recruits... Nothing will change. They'll still go 8-4 or 7-5 

16881854-850x560.jpeg

2022 aggy = every year aggy 

 

Enjoy that 20-something ass while you can, young man.  Because that young lady's face has "I'd like to speak to the manager" written all the fuck over it.  

She might be cute Aggy Ashley now.  But she's College Station Karen  before the decade is out.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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12 minutes ago, South Austin said:

What's his handle?  Given his brevity, I've eliminated Randolph Duke and Lobo.

You mom doesn't mind my length.  (rimshot) 

Wait, Kyle has posted on here or Liucci has?  I've tried twice during Covid to register on texags but neither time did they validate it.  I got banned from there but that was like 10 years ago with different email/handle.  But I actually enjoy reading Liucci on there because his insane takes are just the perfect embodiment of how 80% of Aggies think/feel.  We're spoiled over here because the few regular aggie posters have a different take than most aggies I know.  But Liucci is a great amalgamation of the entire herd.  Well, that was until College Station Karen showed up.

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Homesickhorn

Homesickhorn 2213

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Enjoy that 20-something ass while you can, young man.  Because that young lady's face has "I'd like to speak to the manager" written all the fuck over it.  
She might be cute Aggy Ashley now.  But she's College Station Karen  before the decade is out.

There’s so much of this post that is right, and absolutely nothing about it that’s wrong. I hadn’t given her a second glimpse until this post, and I can’t begin to explain to the people around me why I’m having trouble breathing.
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ousux

ousux 5602

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Enjoy that 20-something ass while you can, young man.  Because that young lady's face has "I'd like to speak to the manager" written all the fuck over it.  
She might be cute Aggy Ashley now.  But she's College Station Karen  before the decade is out.
Oh you're wrong about that, so so wrong.

She's already wanting to speak to the manager...right fuckin now!
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RomaVicta

RomaVicta 30056

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1 hour ago, South Austin said:

I don't know anything about Kyle Umlang, but his "Aggie Fact" tweets always have the great combination of wit and actual facts, contrast with Billy Luicci's "hurr durr, but look at the sips . . . hurr, durr, jimbo!"

This is how Billy and his coterie think of themselves and their school:

spacer.png

Go to smug. Go directly to smug. Do not win anything.

Do not collect hardware.

 

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ABSR

ABSR 5327

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1 hour ago, Homesickhorn said:


There’s so much of this post that is right, and absolutely nothing about it that’s wrong. I hadn’t given her a second glimpse until this post, and I can’t begin to explain to the people around me why I’m having trouble breathing.

I would change it to "But she's College Station Katy Karen  before the decade is out." 

But either way is fantastic.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Do you honestly think the SEC knows that the fuck the American Association of Universities is?  Once a year, Vanderbilt sends in its update to the SEC office about its AAU prestige...and once a year the SEC writes back, "Yeah, we get it...you have a bowling program in another league...congrats!  Send more money." 

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Tex Pete

Tex Pete 20628

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1 hour ago, Lobo said:

Do you honestly think the SEC knows that the fuck the American Association of Universities is?  Once a year, Vanderbilt sends in its update to the SEC office about its AAU prestige...and once a year the SEC writes back, "Yeah, we get it...you have a bowling program in another league...congrats!  Send more money." 

I don't think you're following his point, Hoss.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Yes, the athletic league.  Just taking an attempt to insult the SEC and A&M at every possible turn when it comes to academics, or lack thereof.  

"Hello SEC?  I'd like to speak with your manager."  -Kaauren

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