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Tell Me About Texas a&m

MrPhlegm

By MrPhlegm
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Deej

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Posted
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15 minutes ago, Sir Ulrich said:

With their 4th loss of the season the aggies have officially tied the worst regular season after signing the #1 recruiting class with the 2010 Florida Gators who went 8-4 and lost the bowl. 

"Put it on the wall!"

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Chopper

Chopper 17239

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3 hours ago, Armybrat said:

From the Secrant:

SaturdaydownSouth 
quote:

Saturday’s flop was A&M’s third consecutive loss and its 8th in its past 14 games vs. FBS opponents, and despite some slapstick moments it didn’t introduce any new plot lines that haven’t already been thoroughly exhausted in that run.

tenor.gif

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Crapinon

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1 hour ago, C-Man said:

And to think less than nine months ago they were on top of the world after "signing" the bestest crootin' class in history

I was at a party at the end of the signing period. A guy I knew there is a hard corps, reddest of the red ass, old army aggy. He had an app or website on his phone that would ding every time they signed a recruit. He would then wave his phone around telling everyone "we got another one!" Now I'm thinking I need to download a commode flushing and play it around him and say "another down the drain".  

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nnm

nnm 36472

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3 minutes ago, Crapinon said:

I was at a party at the end of the signing period. A guy I knew there is a hard corps, reddest of the red ass, old army aggy. He had an app or website on his phone that would ding every time they signed a recruit. He would then wave his phone around telling everyone "we got another one!" Now I'm thinking I need to download a commode flushing and play it around him and say "another down the drain".  

This him?AA09582B-6DB4-45BB-94B8-C4F3C8351085.jpeg.862649f370b93b8d70cee0d237cfab90.jpeg

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DanTheHorn

DanTheHorn 4936

Posted
Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, Armybrat said:

From the Secrant:

SaturdaydownSouth 


 

quote:
Saturday’s flop was A&M’s third consecutive loss and its 8th in its past 14 games vs. FBS opponents, and despite some slapstick moments it didn’t introduce any new plot lines that haven’t already been thoroughly exhausted in that run. The offense (still) stinks, languishing at the bottom of the SEC in both yards and points per game. The quarterback situation, allegedly Jimbo Fisher’s specialty, is (still) untenable. The blue-chip personnel is (still) playing down to relatively mediocre competition. The remaining schedule is (still) a slog. Fisher is (still) not relinquishing play-calling duties, at least not anytime soon. Midway through Year 5, his overall winning percentage is (still) virtually identical to Kevin Sumlin’s. And, yes, as if you have to ask: Fisher’s big, fat championship-or-bust contract is (still) a historic burden that all but guarantees his job security for the foreseeable future. It is (still) among the worst deals ever signed in a sport notorious for handing coaches lopsided contracts, and getting worse by the week. Parting ways before the end of this year would cost A&M not one penny less than $85,950,000, a truly obscene number that (still) demands to be written out in full. There’s no loophole for losing, no brilliant TAMU attorney about to burst into the room with a novel idea for getting around it. (If there was anybody like that around, ideally they would have stopped the deal from going through in the first place, or at the very least the extension that solidified Fisher’s position without him even asking.)

 

Same publication different author had them going 9-3

https://www.saturdaydownsouth.com/sec-football/predicting-every-sec-teams-final-record-after-week-6-2/

Texas A&M: 9-3

Even before the impressive performance against Alabama, we had the Aggies finishing 9-3 simply because the second half of the schedule lightens up considerably. A home game with Ole Miss is the biggest challenge left, and right now, the Aggies might be a slight favorite in that game

Edited by DanTheHorn
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Homercles

Homercles 10206

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7 hours ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

You mean the band that just marches in straight lines and half of them don't play their instruments?  Yeah, that is perfect aggy

Fuckin this.  Did band freshman year at osu before I got a job, and remembered hearing all about the corps when I visited their campus a few years prior.  So was stupidly legit excited to see wtf they were so proud of as we spent a lot of time each week working on shows for home games.  
 

At least a third of them didn’t even have mouthpieces on their instruments and it was this giant got damn block that shifted 15 yards, folded in on itself like a game of Snake on a Motorola Razr, and generally just sorta ambled back/forth.  
 

Having been a USAF brat who didn’t grow up around sports in the south, it was my first real clue that Aggy was a unique specimen to be studied and pitied.  On the flip side was impressed by y’all’s band on the road trip here that year.  

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ChickenNuggets

ChickenNuggets 1630

Posted
Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, Cairn Horn88 said:

The A&M recipe for why I am laughing my arse off at their misfortunes: 

1) Leave the Big 12 to get out of Texas' shadow, spend your entire existence in the SEC convincing everyone you belong and that Texas is not your big brother. Added points for talking down to fans of schools that you perceive to be "beneath you". 

2) Spend a repulsive amount of oil money on stadium upgrades, coaches, and purchasing the best recruiting class in history. Basically an attempt to purchase a blue blood card.  

3) Convince yourselves that all of those recruits just really like the milkmen and College Station, Texas. The money had nothing to do with it. 

4) Talk loads of shite and act like your program is a mixture of Notre Dame's history and Alabama in the modern era.  

5) Have a bunch of extremely off-putting and strange cult-like traditions that you defend and seem to truly believe make your program special. 

6) After anointing yourselves champions of the world in the off-season, sit at 3-4 midway through the 2022 season with about half of that shiny 2022 recruiting class either kicked off the team or injured. Featuring losses to App State, Mississippi State, and South Carolina. 

7) Realize that you might have to pay nearly $90 million just to hit the reset button.
 

secrant gets aggy!

You forgot the diploma mill aspect of their strategy... swell the ranks of incoming freshmen by lowering admissions standards... profit.

 

otherwise, well done :)

Edited by ChickenNuggets
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ChickenNuggets

ChickenNuggets 1630

Posted
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1 hour ago, Crapinon said:

I was at a party at the end of the signing period. A guy I knew there is a hard corps, reddest of the red ass, old army aggy. He had an app or website on his phone that would ding every time they signed a recruit. He would then wave his phone around telling everyone "we got another one!" Now I'm thinking I need to download a commode flushing and play it around him and say "another down the drain".  

Dude, so I made the mistake of telling an old army fightin' Texum Aggy congrats for buying such a great class last year and he puffed up, got pissy, and said those guys were there cause they wanted to be there and wanted to be great Aggies...

I guess gangbangs in the showers and whatnot is to their standard... 

 

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Blotto

Blotto 23560

Posted
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Quote

 $85,950,000, a truly obscene number that (still) demands to be written out in full. There’s no loophole for losing, no brilliant TAMU attorney about to burst into the room with a novel idea for getting around it. (If there was anybody like that around, ideally they would have stopped the deal from going through in the first place, or at the very least the extension that solidified Fisher’s position without him even asking.)

That excerpt is so goddamned aggy it makes me laugh. $85,950,000. Fucking lulz. 

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DanTheHorn

DanTheHorn 4936

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Crapinon said:

I was at a party at the end of the signing period. A guy I knew there is a hard corps, reddest of the red ass, old army aggy. He had an app or website on his phone that would ding every time they signed a recruit. He would then wave his phone around telling everyone "we got another one!" Now I'm thinking I need to download a commode flushing and play it around him and say "another down the drain one in the portal".  

Fixed

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closetohumping

closetohumping 17453

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Posted (edited)

Not sure if real:

 

*edit   It has come to my attention that I have been duped   This is a fake tweet   The top part sounds plausible but the bottom tweet, the part about his son getting assaulted and him screaming and crying has not been confirmed 

 

594878D3-E60B-43A3-A91A-EC5841C2C9F5.thumb.jpeg.a1b4156daf0a97fb07cf9c92311417a8.jpeg

Edited by closetohumping
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Scheiss Meister

Scheiss Meister 8408

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3 hours ago, BarthHollamew said:

After reading all of this, if we can find a way to beat K-State next week, and move to 6-3, not be in the news and have a seemingly heathy locker room, I’ll be feeling pretty dang good.  Not too much to ask right?  

Don't do this to yourself.

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