Tell Me About Texas a&m

[Beau Vine 54,297]

15 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

Not as problematic as being 5' 6" 155

Spoiler

 

[Longboard Horn 40,391]

[NoName 16,364]

11 hours ago, TOR said:

Really, really hope they low-ball Traylor (because all the money's gone!) and he very publicly tells them NOPE!

at this point i hope Ark hires him before A&M hires someone so he can shit on them for even more reasons.

[BabaYaga 15,302]

Just now, Longboard Horn said:

More like this

[Dennis Taylor 18,844]

20 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

  Hide contents

 

The height is about right but add about 40 pounds and deduct about 3 tenths on the 40, then add a heaping helping of actual football ability 

Edited November 17, 2023 by Dennis Taylor

[Vermin 3,055]

1 hour ago, FtheBig12 said:

Exactly. With the money they're willing to throw around to buy players that's not going to be an issue for them. They have to find the guy who can manage a bunch of overpriced ego maniacs. That's a tall order.

That’s easy, practice is optional and puff puff pass the blunts 💨 

[chainsaw 9,872]

maybe now wasn't the best time to fire jimbo

[Steel Shank 9,429]

If Traylor goes to Aggy, I’d like him to be semi-successful then leave for a true blue blood.

[BabaYaga 15,302]

Just now, Steel Shank said:

If Traylor goes to Aggy, I’d like him to be semi-successful then leave for a true blue blood.

#contractextension

[Dennis Taylor 18,844]

Hopefully they'll reel Elko in

[TOR 5,738]

10 minutes ago, Vermin said:

That’s easy, practice is optional and puff puff pass the blunts 💨 

And pray to the Great Spirit that Tupac doesn't die.  Again.

[Kwix 2,191]

30 minutes ago, Steel Shank said:

If Traylor goes to Aggy, I’d like him to be semi-successful then leave for a true blue blood.

[TrashMaster G 17,573]

1 hour ago, OU Sucks said:

 

That was AFTER fixing the grammar issues???

Holy shit.

[bad_teammate 13,220]

I would want Traylor to fail miserably and spectacularly.

[MuellerHorn 4,256]

4 minutes ago, bad_teammate said:

I would want Traylor to fail miserably and spectacularly.

This. I want every single aggy coach to fail miserably and spectacularly.

[Texzilla58 4,741]

Biff Poggi is the only choice. He can fund his own buyout when they hire his ass. It would be so entertaining.

[TexasGolf 4,972]

2 minutes ago, Texzilla58 said:

Biff Poggi is the only choice. He can fund his own buyout when they hire his ass. It would be so entertaining.

[Reese Bennett 3,615]

1 hour ago, CooterBrown said:

Better include some upgraded suspension in that contract if he's gonna take Miss Collie Station on a joy ride.

 

I can't quit watching this. The moment where she is laying on the handlebars is sublime.

[Vertigo 20,297]

31 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said:

That was AFTER fixing the grammar issues???

Holy shit.

This kid was NOT admitted to the Texum A&M Harvard on the Brazos drive thru upon his application and subsequent frosty order.  

Edited November 17, 2023 by Vertigo

[TOR 5,738]

Biff Poggi scares you to death.

[Alien Octopus 555]

4 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

Not to mention his daughter 

Go on

[Dennis Taylor 18,844]

2 minutes ago, Alien Octopus said:

Go on

Nom de pron Lexi Silver obv nsfw...

[Mr. Drummond 2,199]

I want Tilman Fertitta and Aggy in a bidding war for Traylor.    I actually think UH is a good place for him.   Close to his East Texas stomping grounds plus Houston leftovers could do very well in the Big12.

[Mittens 8,287]

In all this coaching search hullaballoo (caneck! caneck!), let's not forget the weirdness of these weirdos: 

 

[mdleast 8,296]

From the Solid Verbal podcast newsletter:

 

7 Things Jimbo Fisher’s Buyout Could Buy

My God, they finally did it.

After six seasons of mostly mediocrity and frustration, Jimbo Fisher is out at Texas A&M. The boosters and oil barons evidently found enough change in the couch cushions to send the National Championship-winning coach packing to the tune of a $77 million buyout.

It’s absurd. It’s the absolute definition of dumb money. But exactly how dumb is it? That’s what I wanted to know. This week, I present to you seven things Fisher’s buyout could pay for. It’s frankly soul-crushing.

1) The yearly salary of every superior offensive coordinator, roughly four times over

The Aggies rank an OK 25th in points per drive so far in 2023. Of the 24 offensive coordinators churning out better offenses than A&M’s, 19 have publicly available salaries. Those add up to around $19 million, which Fisher’s buyout could pay for 3.98 times. Of the top 20 offensive coordinators at public universities, Texas A&M’s Bobby Petrino is making the fifth-most money annually at $1.42 million, over twice as much as Arizona’s Brennan Carroll at $625,000. Ironic given Arizona fans are probably having well over twice as much fun watching their team as Aggie fans.

2) Five and a half Super Bowl commercials

The average cost of a 30-second spot during Super Bowl LVII was $7 million, per Forbes. That would give A&M seven chances to broadcast its plight to well over 100 million viewers. Surely, one of them could do better than 27-21 in the SEC with the nation’s top recruiting class? The commercials could start cute, maybe with a painfully dated reference and a celebrity cameo, then by the end it’s just a booster offering his bank PIN to anyone with a vaguely folksy name and a clipboard willing to call him back.

3) 38,500 Ford Pintos in 1978

Following an investigation from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, Ford recalled 1.5 million of its famously explosive Pinto sedans in 1978. At an average cost hovering around $2,000, a ’76 Pinto would be mere pocket change. A&M could easily pay for nearly 40,000 of them, although I suppose it already knows how it feels throwing that much money at something only for it to implode catastrophically.

4) The construction of the Empire State Building, adjusted for inflation until 1957

The former tallest building in America and New York skyline staple was built in 1931 for a measly $41 million, which inflates to just under $77 million in 1957. That year also saw the release of classic legal drama 12 Angry Men, which coincidentally also refers to the extremely disgruntled players taking the field for A&M on any given play — plus the vaunted 12th Man, of course.

Sure, Fisher’s buyout would only pay for roughly 13% of the tower’s construction in today’s money, but when has A&M ever cared about seeing anything it pays for come to fruition?

5) A private SpaceX voyage

In May, SpaceX sent a four-man crew into space at an estimated cost of $55 million per person, pbs.org reported. I’ve heard Aggie fans complain ad nauseum about how much they wanted to put Fisher and Petrino in a rocket bound for the moon, and this feels like a perfect opportunity. Maybe Petrino would get a discounted ticket. Then again, maybe the literal moon is still a little closer than A&M fans want Fisher to be to their favorite team.

6) Villa Aquamaris, private island in French Polynesia

Villa Aquamaris’ website describes it as a “window on heaven.” The 4-acre South Pacific island is surrounded by pristine waters, with a lagoon boasting over 50 shades of blue. But that’s not all. Per privateislandsonline.com, Aquamaris costs a piddling $52 million, meaning A&M would still have just enough pocket change left over to purchase the 8-acre Steele Point Estate in the British Virgin Islands, currently priced at $25 million.

Either would likely be the perfect retirement homestead for Fisher, provided he could Zoom into the occasional Finebaum Show appearance. I guess I didn’t factor in the cost of wi-fi.

7) National respectability

Wait, actually, never mind. Forgot to carry the 1.

-Bradley Hohulin

[Lou_Sassle 2,885]

51 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

Nom de pron Lexi Silver obv nsfw...

 

[BabaYaga 15,302]

13 minutes ago, mdleast said:

7) National respectability

Wait, actually, never mind. Forgot to carry the 1.

lol.....

[South Austin 52,523]

12 minutes ago, mdleast said:

7 Things Jimbo Fisher’s Buyout Could Buy

Key omission from that list.

[BabaYaga 15,302]

3 minutes ago, South Austin said:

Key omission from that list.

Two moms at the same time?

[South Austin 52,523]

4 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

Two moms at the same time?

[Texzilla58 4,741]

In all this coaching search hullaballoo (caneck! caneck!), let's not forget the weirdness of these weirdos: 
 

If you look closely at all these dweebs, collectively not one has seen, touched, or banged a real live female human pussy.

I’m not sure any have even bang a goat , sheep or collie like the cool dudes on campus have.

[Alien Octopus 555]

26 minutes ago, Lou_Sassle said:

 

 

Saw the star fish but did not see Sponge Bob

[1bigtx 129]

Is this the right link to report a sports hernia at the hand of a much younger girlfriend?

[SHOOTER12 8,811]

1 hour ago, Mittens said:

In all this coaching search hullaballoo (caneck! caneck!), let's not forget the weirdness of these weirdos: 

 

Use that term "guys" pretty loosely there, eh?

[Eskimohorn 5,642]

Biff Poggi is the only choice. He can fund his own buyout when they hire his ass. It would be so entertaining.

Biff’s got friends in every backwater and Buccee’s from here to the Ozark, he speaks a dozen gibberishes, knows every local custom, he'll blend in, disappear, you'll never see him again. With any luck, he's got the National Championship already.

[Modessit 5,603]

39 brings “preferred walk on” to a whole new level. Has to be parental donations to the aggy coffers, as the year he arrived, I’m willing to bet that there were at least 300 RBs in Texas alone, from 5A and below that were bigger, faster, and basically better than that chosen one.

Hook’em!!!

Maybe his dad was Jimbo's accountant.

[Modessit 5,603]

Honest question is, what does he actually bring to practice and the scout team? Ok guys, imagine this guy is the RB that is bigger/faster than what we’re seeing today, but he’s running the plays we’ve noticed over their previous 2-3 games.

Hook’em!!!

Makes their defensive jags look like 5-stars for the aggy reporters to trumpet.

[Vertigo 20,297]

1 hour ago, 1bigtx said:

Is this the right link to report a sports hernia at the hand of a much younger girlfriend?

Please submit pics so we can search our database and find if she is a serial offender. 

[nnm 36,479]

2 hours ago, Mittens said:

In all this coaching search hullaballoo (caneck! caneck!), let's not forget the weirdness of these weirdos: 

 

 

Good that they put him front and center. 

Edited November 17, 2023 by nnm

[Pancho 44,876]

It seems our fan base is really scared of Traylor taking the job but wouldn’t want Traylor as the Texas HC?

It also seems like aggy is going to be pissed when Traylor takes the job. 

So to summarize, some in our fan base is terrified of Traylor at aggy yet aggy doesn’t want Traylor at all?

 

[Not a cat 5,660]

3 minutes ago, Pancho said:

It seems our fan base is really scared of Traylor taking the job but wouldn’t want Traylor as the Texas HC?

It also seems like aggy is going to be pissed when Traylor takes the job. 

So to summarize, some in our fan base is terrified of Traylor at aggy yet aggy doesn’t want Traylor at all?

 

Aggy is dumb and values splash over competency.  Therefore we actually want them to get exactly what they want.

[closetojumping 62,763]

2 minutes ago, Pancho said:

It seems our fan base is really scared of Traylor taking the job but wouldn’t want Traylor as the Texas HC?

It also seems like aggy is going to be pissed when Traylor takes the job. 

So to summarize, some in our fan base is terrified of Traylor at aggy yet aggy doesn’t want Traylor at all?

 

Who is terrified of Traylor coaching at ATM? 

I think it is a crapshoot as to whether or not he would work out there, but I think there are guys I'd prefer to see them land, like Swinney or Schumann. 

[mwaadeeb 1,233]

4 hours ago, bad_teammate said:

I would want Traylor to fail miserably and spectacularly.

And then go somewhere else and beat them repeatedly.

[AeroHorn 753]

4 hours ago, Reese Bennett said:

I can't quit watching this. The moment where she is laying on the handlebars is sublime.

Because it is done very well; a smooth takeoff from the pommel horse, hands and legs stretched out over the handlebars to show the judges you are in complete control, and then a graceful dismount. 9.5/10 because the commies hate freedom. 

[SarkAfterDark 1,693]

10 minutes ago, Pancho said:

It seems our fan base is really scared of Traylor taking the job but wouldn’t want Traylor as the Texas HC?

It also seems like aggy is going to be pissed when Traylor takes the job. 

So to summarize, some in our fan base is terrified of Traylor at aggy yet aggy doesn’t want Traylor at all?

 

There is a portion of our fanbase that is forever terrified of all things aggie. 

[Pancho 44,876]

11 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Who is terrified of Traylor coaching at ATM? 

I think it is a crapshoot as to whether or not he would work out there, but I think there are guys I'd prefer to see them land, like Swinney or Schumann. 

 

There’s bee a ton of folks on here, on other sites, on socials that are freaking the fuck out about Traylor at aggy and I, personally, don’t know why. 

Are you wanting to see them land Dabo or Schumann as that makes them good or because that would fail spectacularly?

[closetojumping 62,763]

13 minutes ago, Pancho said:

 

There’s bee a ton of folks on here, on other sites, on socials that are freaking the fuck out about Traylor at aggy and I, personally, don’t know why. 

Are you wanting to see them land Dabo or Schumann as that makes them good or because that would fail spectacularly?

Schumann is benefitting from just being in Smart's orbit. People around the sport and who know those guys don't see Schumann as some sort of wunderkind. I would love that hire.

Swinney is Jimbo Fisher Part Deux. His folksy shit would work at ATM to an extant, but he's an idiot beyond the schtick and the game has passed him by, even though he's pretty young. He won before the portal and before NIL by creating the whole notion of family and running payments in a high quality bag game through a church and with the help of a $9.95ers helping funnel things. On top of all of this, he'd cost an arm and a leg both in the Clemson buyout and in salary. 

[markstanco 12,586]

53 minutes ago, nnm said:

 

Good that they put him front and center. 

Uh, your math is off. 

[South Austin 52,523]

10 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Swinney is Jimbo Fisher Part Deux. His folksy shit would work at ATM to an extant, but he's an idiot beyond the schtick and the game has passed him by, even though he's pretty young. He won before the portal and before NIL by creating the whole notion of family and running payments in a high quality bag game through a church and with the help of a $9.95ers helping funnel things. On top of all of this, he'd cost an arm and a leg both in the Clemson buyout and in salary. 

I don’t think aggy will be able to pass all that up.

[Vermin 3,055]

23 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Schumann is benefitting from just being in Smart's orbit. People around the sport and who know those guys don't see Schumann as some sort of wunderkind. I would love that hire.

Wasn’t the same thing said about Kirby Smart? That he just rides Saban’s coattails.