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Tell Me About Texas a&m

MrPhlegm

By MrPhlegm
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YGIFS

YGIFS 19452

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9 minutes ago, LTtxfan said:

 

When one of the 7.7 billion people on this planet who do not call the United States home ask you, "What is wrong with America?"  Show them this clip.  It's a perfect encapsulation of the breathtaking amount of stupidity we are not only capable of, but of which we are so damn proud. 

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LateAughtsHorn

LateAughtsHorn 588

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1 minute ago, YGIFS said:

When one of the 7.7 billion people on this planet who do not call the United States home ask you, "What is wrong with America?"  Show them this clip.  It's a perfect encapsulation of the breathtaking amount of stupidity we are not only capable of, but of which we are so damn proud. 

Holy shit. Didn't realize we were up to 8 billion now. 

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Texzilla58

Texzilla58 4738

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Tons of healthy and vegan options in the lit station, (they may even have a salad bar buffet these days!) he will be slim and trim in no time.

The recent history of fatfuck college coaches is not great. Sam Pittman. Bret Bielema. That fat fuck that was at Kansas. They tend to have teams as undisciplined as their diets, and give their linemen days off when it’s hot, and let them skip leg days in the weight room.
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LateAughtsHorn

LateAughtsHorn 588

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5 minutes ago, Texzilla58 said:


The recent history of fatfuck college coaches is not great. Sam Pittman. Bret Bielema. That fat fuck that was at Kansas. They tend to have teams as undisciplined as their diets, and give their linemen days off when it’s hot, and let them skip leg days in the weight room.

Didn't Mangino have KU ranked in the top 5 at one point? Not much more you can ask for there. 

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TOR

TOR 5657

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38 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

When one of the 7.7 billion people on this planet who do not call the United States home ask you, "What is wrong with America?"  Show them this clip.  It's a perfect encapsulation of the breathtaking amount of stupidity we are not only capable of, but of which we are so damn proud. 

Ever been in a business meeting where they WHOOP! for no apparent reason?  It's all you can do to keep those idiots from pissing the potted plants in a professional setting.

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Texzilla58

Texzilla58 4738

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So they are paying Elko $7m a year thru 2030. Some huge incentives for serious post season games. A tired buyout structure.

So what did they offer Stoops who makes $9m thru 2030? Was he on the jet when they lowballed him? Or did they pull a more expensive deal when Elko said he’d coach for So much less? Turn this fucker around.

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n64ra

n64ra 1086

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39 minutes ago, FtheBig12 said:

Calling it now. If we have a better sec record than they do next year they'll say we had the easiest sec schedule in the conference. They are so predictable it's funny.

FIFY - "When"

 

We'll have a better overall record too even with travel to Ann Arbor as they travel to *checks notes* nowhere.

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Pam Cummings

Pam Cummings 9645

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31 minutes ago, F250 said:

lol half of these dork's wins are over New Mexico, Louisiana Monroe, Abilene Christian. The other teams all have losing records.

We would be undefeated and #1 in the SEC West with their cupcake schedule.

 

Yep. The exact same morons had their little tweet about beating every team they play from Texas, a list that was a bunch of embarassing shit ass cupcake teams.

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TKthunder2

TKthunder2 4992

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1 hour ago, FtheBig12 said:

Calling it now. If we have a better sec record than they do next year they'll say we had the easiest sec schedule in the conference. They are so predictable it's funny.

Why wait?

https://www.secrant.com/rant/sec-football/texas-schedule-next-year--one-of-the-easiest-in-the-league/111085076/

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ousux

ousux 5597

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When one of the 7.7 billion people on this planet who do not call the United States home ask you, "What is wrong with America?"  Show them this clip.  It's a perfect encapsulation of the breathtaking amount of stupidity we are not only capable of, but of which we are so damn proud. 
We? Ain't nobody but aggy proud of that shit. Every country has their little band of loonies, but ours seems to have stumbled upon some money and a national platform to display their lunacy.
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texasdago

texasdago 7575

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2 hours ago, TOR said:

Ever been in a business meeting where they WHOOP! for no apparent reason?  It's all you can do to keep those idiots from pissing the potted plants in a professional setting.

I've heard them whoop during a church service.  

I have never set foot in College Station

I never plan on setting foot in College Station

I will not spend one cent there or allow myself to breathe that manure-coated air

BUT

...if I did, it would be to hear the amazing echoes in their hall of champions.  That has to be something...

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Blotto

Blotto 23559

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27 minutes ago, ousux said:
3 hours ago, YGIFS said:
When one of the 7.7 billion people on this planet who do not call the United States home ask you, "What is wrong with America?"  Show them this clip.  It's a perfect encapsulation of the breathtaking amount of stupidity we are not only capable of, but of which we are so damn proud. 

We? Ain't nobody but aggy proud of that shit. Every country has their little band of loonies, but ours seems to have stumbled upon some money and a national platform to display their lunacy.

Pre-social media, you had to be around those morons to really appreciate their stupidity so it was really more of a regional awareness. Now that they insist on blasting out their idiocy on social media every chance they can, pretty much the entire country laughs at them. But rather than wonder why they are the only ones who think milkmen are  cool, they just circle the wagons, squeeze their nuts like only ole Rock (the good ag) can, and keep on humpin' on. 

GIF aggies - GIF animado en GIFER

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GhostOfTomJoad

GhostOfTomJoad 9331

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One of the most embarrassing things I ever witnessed was about a decade ago when a former astronaut who flew on 2 shuttle missions gave a presentation at my company promoting STEM. She obtained one of her degrees from Texas, and as she gave her presentation she showed a photo she'd taken of the sun rising over the earth & how the beautiful, burnt orange sun reminded her of home (or words to that effect). Two or 3 aggies in the audience hissed at her remark. Fucking hissed, like petulant little children. One started and the others joined in. Who would act like that in a professional setting when hearing a story from an actual astronaut?

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closetojumping

closetojumping 62746

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39 minutes ago, TKthunder2 said:

Why wait?

https://www.secrant.com/rant/sec-football/texas-schedule-next-year--one-of-the-easiest-in-the-league/111085076/

SEC Rant never ceases to amaze me. Every time I follow a link over there, then click around, I stumble into some of the dumbest human beings with Internet access that could possibly exist. Some of those posters do not appear to be functioning human beings. 

On the other hand, of their top 10 threads right now, Texas is the subject matter of half of them. There's a lot of anxiety about a rising Texas throwing its weight around among conference members. Alabama and Georgia posters are notably absent from the handwringing. 

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Tex Pete

Tex Pete 20399

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13 minutes ago, Blotto said:

Pre-social media, you had to be around those morons to really appreciate their stupidity so it was really more of a regional awareness. Now that they insist on blasting out their idiocy on social media every chance they can, pretty much the entire country laughs at them. But rather than wonder why they are the only ones who think milkmen are  cool, they just circle the wagons, squeeze their nuts like only ole Rock (the good ag) can, and keep on humpin' on. 

GIF aggies - GIF animado en GIFER

That goober was so addicted to the attention he got from TexAgs.

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ousux

ousux 5597

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SEC Rant never ceases to amaze me. Every time I follow a link over there, then click around, I stumble into some of the dumbest human beings with Internet access that could possibly exist. Some of those posters do not appear to be functioning human beings. 
On the other hand, of their top 10 threads right now, Texas is the subject matter of half of them. There's a lot of anxiety about a rising Texas throwing its weight around among conference members. Alabama and Georgia posters are notably absent from the handwringing. 
That's the result of 12 years of soaking their pea brains in aggy propaganda, and it's only increased since they found out we are coming for them.
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YGIFS

YGIFS 19452

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10 minutes ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

One of the most embarrassing things I ever witnessed was about a decade ago when a former astronaut who flew on 2 shuttle missions gave a presentation at my company promoting STEM. She obtained one of her degrees from Texas, and as she gave her presentation she showed a photo she'd taken of the sun rising over the earth & how the beautiful, burnt orange sun reminded her of home (or words to that effect). Two or 3 aggies in the audience hissed at her remark. Fucking hissed, like petulant little children. One started and the others joined in. Who would act like that in a professional setting when hearing a story from an actual astronaut?

csb/ my daughter got to meet two female Longhorn astronauts.  One was a physician, the other a flight engineer.  You may be talking about one of them.  

Most ridiculous encounter I had with their "whoop" shit was in Boston.  A very serious group of real estate capital providers and then my punk ass.  Minutes away is Harvard and MIT.  I have three degrees and I'm the least credentialed person in the room.  Our guest speaker was Robert Gates.  He had moved on from the Pentagon and A&M to Boy Scouts of America.  All he said was "Good Morning" before he began his remarks after being introduced, not that he needed an introduction.  Soon as he finished his greeting and began to sat down, loud ass "WHOOP!" from the back of the mid-sized room of a few dozen of us.  Most of the audience had never even heard of Texas A&M, let alone ever heard the "Whoop!" deal before.  Even Gates looked up, mid-squat, like, "Oh shit, I thought I was done with that part of my life."  He brushed it off and they got into their Q&A.  But the look on the faces of some of the people in front of me was like, "What the fuck was that about?"  They kinda saw it like a heckle of the speaker I think or sarcastic "Oh, this is who keynotes for the thousands we all paid to be here."  I made it a point to remember the dude's face and looked him up in the little directory later on.  Sure enough, A&M undergrad, UofPhoenix for MBA or MF or whatever it was.  This was 10 years ago.  Who knew UofPhoenix would end up being his more respected degree?  Fucking clownshow.  They should know their place.  They'd fucking "Whoop!" at a state funeral if they could.

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Blotto

Blotto 23559

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2 minutes ago, ousux said:

it's only increased since they found out we are coming for them.

When the rumors of Texas & OU to the SEC first started to swirl, Bjork and Bowen were so quick to publicly dismiss them (gentleman's agreement and all). And then 24 hours later it was official and we dropped our huge cock and balls right on aggy's dreams and aspirations, scuttling them forever. Those f'n dipshits actually believed for a brief second that they were calling shots, that they were in a tight brotherhood that meant something. And then everyone else in the SEC told them to fuck off and scoot over. They never really recovered from that. I dont think they ever will. 

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bad_teammate

bad_teammate 13215

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I love it when a red-ass Aggie does the horse laugh or something in mixed company and people are confused by what's happening. Even better when other Ags are in the group and embarrassed by the red-ass.

Me: "Oh, that? He's just hissing at me because I went to a university he doesn't like. It's something they do at the school he went to."

Edited by bad_teammate
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YGIFS

YGIFS 19452

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tu?  You don't know me well enough motherfucker.  It's UsTed.  Got it, punk?  

I've had to take folks aside, young and old, and explained....."Look, when we're out of state...and somebody asks where you went to school, say Texas or UT-Austin.  UT means different shit in different parts of the country.  And don't just say "Tech", you have to say "Texas Tech."  And then I'd get into the whole, "These guys all went to business school so they'll often to refer to their alma mater as Sloan or Kellogg or Marshall even though we don't really say McCombs."  You don't have to sit down and memorize the entirety of a Fiske Guide to Colleges, but a cursory knowledge of the name usage/locations/some trivia nugget of these 20 or so colleges is a great way too make idle chit-chat at a reception or lunch break.  Same as knowing a little bit about international soccer or geopolitics when dealing with foreign nationals.  Just something to show you care and are up to date on shit.  But try telling that to a fucking Aggie.  these fucking morons can be in midtown Manhattan at GE Headquarters or on Wall Street or on Sand Hill Road and will open with, "As an Ag...my view of the markets is..."  Nobody talks like that, even cross-fitter vegans from Yale wait 60 seconds into the conversation before throwing that shit out there.  Read a fucking room.  

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19452

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3 minutes ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

The buffet thing happened to me and my friends at Shanghai River on Anderson Lane in 1994. We would go every Sunday and stay for like 3 hours.
Finally the lady kicked us out and yelled at us for eating too much. "This is why you are fat! Too much eating!"

I went there with a few offensive lineman in 1996 when I moved to Austin.  We got roughly the same treatment.  I thought my two plates was impressive, these guys did about 4-5 each.  She was not amused.

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54253

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32 minutes ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

One of the most embarrassing things I ever witnessed was about a decade ago when a former astronaut who flew on 2 shuttle missions gave a presentation at my company promoting STEM. She obtained one of her degrees from Texas, and as she gave her presentation she showed a photo she'd taken of the sun rising over the earth & how the beautiful, burnt orange sun reminded her of home (or words to that effect). Two or 3 aggies in the audience hissed at her remark. Fucking hissed, like petulant little children. One started and the others joined in. Who would act like that in a professional setting when hearing a story from an actual astronaut?

Answer: aggy

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yoladu

yoladu 4094

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2 hours ago, F250 said:

lol half of these dork's wins are over New Mexico, Louisiana Monroe, Abilene Christian. The other teams all have losing records.

We would be undefeated and #1 in the SEC West with their cupcake schedule.

 

they had 7 wins.

  • New Mexico (4-8)
  • UL Monroe (2-10)
  • Auburn (6-6)
  • Arkansas (4-8)
  • South Carolina (5-7)
  • Miss St (5-7)
  • Abilene Christian (5-7)

None had a winning record. 1 eeked into a bowl birth. And the SEC teams they did beat got most their wins from non-conf cream puffs.

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