Tell Me About Texas a&m

[Horn Dog 9,816]

34 minutes ago, Frank Drebin said:

Texas beating AM allowed him to release decades of pent up anger and frustration in one afternoon??  Where do we send him the bill?

[BillyGoatHill 4,312]

42 minutes ago, Frank Drebin said:

 

40 minutes ago, South Austin said:

Pretty sure this kid is the reason his parents divorced.

✅

34 minutes ago, Deej said:

Loser

✅

34 minutes ago, utee94 said:

That dude is unhinged.  

🏁

Do the math, that dude is a NOW an overweight 42 year old man that is hating life, NEVER making it out of BCS. 

 

Edited November 28, 2023 by BillyGoatHill

[South Austin 52,459]

10 minutes ago, Nicole44 said:

Reading about Elko (legit articles not hype on steroids) he truly is a mechanic type (made me think of the group Mike and the Mechanics) no frills guy. 

Mike Elko is a fat version of R.C. Slocum.  And I'm not saying the R.C. Slocum who managed to get double-digit wins in a Southwest Conference that was circling the drain.  I mean the "no frills guy" who was plunged into mediocrity by a more competitive Big XII conference.

[Guadaloopy 10,960]

36 minutes ago, Frank Drebin said:

[bad_teammate 13,192]

OriolePete needs a hug and I hope someone else finds it in their heart to provide.

[Tex Pete 20,339]

23 minutes ago, Frank Drebin said:

That guy needs to know:

a. His mom did not beg and plead to get back to A&M. She sucked a bunch of dicks. She fucked a bunch of old fat men.

b. They weren't poor. His mom just didn't love him.

c. His dad left because he was a worthless sniveling pussy who brought shame on his dad.

d. Kyle Field is not a war memorial. The corps are a bunch of fake army tough guys who like to beat up on women.

e. Jackie Sherrill is a horrible cheater that no one in America respects. Ditto Texas A&M football.

f. Pay for counseling. Nobody cares.

[TOR 5,529]

4 minutes ago, BillyGoatHill said:

 

✅

✅

🏁

Do the math, that dude is a NOW an overweight 42 year old man that is hating life while NEVER making it out of BCS. 

 

C'mon now, don't be harsh.  For all we know he may be managing the Dairy Queen all the way over in Navasota.

[Guadaloopy 10,960]

Just now, Tex Pete said:

a. His mom did not beg and plead to get back to A&M. She sucked a bunch of dicks. She fucked a bunch of old fat men.

[Tex Pete 20,339]

19 minutes ago, Nicole44 said:

Reading about Elko (legit articles not hype on steroids) he truly is a mechanic type (made me think of the group Mike and the Mechanics) no frills guy. I say this to make the point that if he can’t get them there, no one can.

Their problem is the culture. He isn't fixing that.

[BillyGoatHill 4,312]

1 minute ago, Guadaloopy said:

Beat me to it...🤣

[Hornius Emeritus 12,453]

9 minutes ago, nnm said:

Prince Rogers Nelson wasn’t a Prince. 

No one in the Presidents of the United States of America has ever held elected office. 
 

None of the Barenaked Ladies are barenaked ladies. 

Next you'll tell me that nobody in The Who exists.

[TrashMaster G 17,551]

9 minutes ago, nnm said:

Prince Rogers Nelson wasn’t a Prince. 

No one in the Presidents of the United States of America has ever held elected office. 
 

None of the Barenaked Ladies are barenaked ladies. 

And no members of The Revolution ever started or participated in a revolution.

[Biff Tannen 45,667]

2 hours ago, Blotto said:

Pre-social media, you had to be around those morons to really appreciate their stupidity so it was really more of a regional awareness. Now that they insist on blasting out their idiocy on social media every chance they can, pretty much the entire country laughs at them. But rather than wonder why they are the only ones who think milkmen are  cool, they just circle the wagons, squeeze their nuts like only ole Rock (the good ag) can, and keep on humpin' on. 

I've been looking for this gif for weeks.  What did you search to get it?

[tx ind 7,008]

9 minutes ago, bad_teammate said:

OriolePete needs a hug and I hope someone else finds it in their heart to provide.

[Deej 76,756]

17 minutes ago, South Austin said:

Diana Ross never served on the Supreme Court.

"Are you sure?" - Katfid

 

[Sir Ulrich 5,187]

 

Hopefully he waits for the can so the aggies have to pay the buyout before he leaves

[nnm 36,356]

1 minute ago, Sir Ulrich said:

 

Hopefully he waits for the can so the aggies have to pay the buyout before he leaves

He was terminated for cause. Absolute lunacy to bring back an employee terminated for cause. Opens a door you don’t want opened as an employer. 

[TrashMaster G 17,551]

1 minute ago, nnm said:

He was terminated for cause. Absolute lunacy to bring back an employee terminated for cause. Opens a door you don’t want opened as an employer. 

Vetting somebody who was terminated for cause should be a 10 second conversation with HR.

"You want to hire who?...   No."

[orangebird 1,079]

3 minutes ago, nnm said:

He was terminated for cause. Absolute lunacy to bring back an employee terminated for cause. Opens a door you don’t want opened as an employer. 

Aw come on, it was just that one episode of drunk motorcycle riding with his extramarital paramour!  Could have been any of us, right?

Edited November 28, 2023 by orangebird

[texasdago 7,569]

33 minutes ago, Deej said:

You do know nobody in Mike and the Mechanics was a mechanic?

Now you're going to tell me Florence doesn't sing with a Machine.  WTF dude!?

[Blotto 23,491]

12 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

I've been looking for this gif for weeks.  What did you search to get it?

Search history shows aggy humpin it gifs, and after clicking on a few,  Google eventually threw that one at me. 

[JBJ 3,654]

Does ERob know where the bodies are buried or something?  He's the position coach of an underperforming unit.  Someone explain this to me.  Is he the bagman?

[Deej 76,756]

1 minute ago, texasdago said:

Now you're going to tell me Florence doesn't sing with a Machine.  WTF dude!?

There's a machine. There's no Florence.

[Dennis Taylor 18,811]

20 hours ago, Pancho said:

 

You…seriously didn’t already know this?

 

[Pancho 44,721]

Looks like Dameyune Craig was let go 

[texasdago 7,569]

4 minutes ago, Deej said:

There's a machine. There's no Florence.

Oh God... now my whole world is upside down.  Now I know why people rage.

[General Specific 3,254]

Wedding ring is the only ring I'll ever wear. Not a jewelry guy.

Hell, I don’t even wear my wedding ring either!

[Beau Vine 54,209]

13 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said:

Vetting somebody who was terminated for cause should be a 10 second conversation with HR.

"You want to hire who?...   No."

Every time I see some form of the word "vetted," it's clear that the person who was supposed to be vetted wasn't actually vetted.  

"Vetted" is a fake word that means nothing apparently.  It's just a word that people throw out there after they've hired someone with massive red flags.

[Blotto 23,491]

22 minutes ago, Sir Ulrich said:

 

Hopefully he waits for the can so the aggies have to pay the buyout before he leaves

He should show up for his interview riding a motorcycle. 

[markstanco 12,573]

55 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said:

It still blows my mind that anyone would glorify the response of the Corps that day. They were beating up on Longhorn fans just for going on the field. Those pinheads should have faced assault and battery charges.

But its a sovereign field stupid sip

[deft 6,843]

Oh God... now my whole world is upside down.  Now I know why people rage.

They probably don’t even rage against a machine!

[USC_TMB 405]

OK, which Surly poster goes by the name Mark Harris and works at Outkick? He used the “C” word (cult for those who don’t wish to read the article)

https://www.outkick.com/why-lane-kiffin-didnt-take-texas-a-m-job-mike-elko-swaying-video/

 

[speed817 19,256]

SIAP

https://www.texasmonthly.com/arts-entertainment/texas-a-m-new-football-coach-mike-elko

Spoiler

When a couple of Duke football players were twenty minutes late for then-new head coach Mike Elko’s first conditioning session two years ago, they were introduced to something he called an “accountability” workout. So grueling were the sprints, drills, and assorted other tortures they endured that tardiness wasn’t an issue for the rest of the season.

“Like, wild,” Elko told the Athletic earlier this year. “It just caught root that quick.”

Duke center Jacob Monk remembered his first telephone conversation with the coach.

“Do you love football?” Elko asked.

“Yes, sir,” Monk told him.

“We’ll see how much everyone loves football,” Elko replied.

Monk thought about that conversation when Elko introduced “Spartan Fridays” to the Duke training regimen. Included in the hours-long conditioning sessions were a hundred yards of lunges while carrying a teammate.

He also instilled in Duke football structure, accountability, and a clear vision—qualities college football fans hadn’t always expected from a so-called basketball school. His conditioning and weight training programs tested every player in ways large and small.

In return for his players’ dedication, Elko listened when they asked for better living facilities, a spiffier locker room, better meals, and even golf carts to get them from morning practices to class when schedules were tight. He was a hard-ass with a heart.

“No matter if you’re going through a walk-through, or you’re going out to practice and it’s one of the hottest days of the year, Coach Elko will make you the best version of yourself,” Duke quarterback Riley Leonard told reporters at media day in 2023.

Or, as Duke team captain DeWayne Carter put it: “He’s very transparent, keeps it very simple. You talk about the meat and potatoes, that is him. He’s the epitome of that.”

Elko’s way worked at Duke. In two seasons, he became just the second head coach to lead the Blue Devils to back-to-back bowl appearances. Duke won thirteen of Elko’s first seventeen games in 2022 and 2023 and was up to number sixteen in the Associated Press Top 25 before this year’s campaign was undone by a string of close losses and key injuries.

On Monday, Elko was introduced as Texas A&M’s new head football coach. He’s not the rock star hire some prominent Aggies wanted. Instead, he’s a solid, no-nonsense ball coach who believes in a set of core principles that could help the Aggies transform all those great recruiting classes into winning teams. He may be exactly what Texas A&M needs for a program that, despite its myriad recruiting and fund-raising advantages, hasn’t won a conference championship this century.

Elko was hired two weeks after former coach Jimbo Fisher was fired, and at the end of a wild weekend in which the Aggie jokes once more wrote themselves. A&M was on the verge of hiring Kentucky coach Mark Stoops when a rebellion on social media—seriously, social media?—seemed to influence the A&M Board of Regents and force a pivot by athletic director Ross Bjork.

In the end, Bjork and the regents got it right. The 46-year-old Elko agreed to a six-year, $42 million deal despite the school still owing Jimbo $77 million over the next eight years. He’ll take over a program blessed with some of the country’s deepest pockets, best facilities, most passionate fans, and highest expectations. College Station is also located in the heart of a deep reservoir of elite high school talent.

But something has been missing from Aggie football. Discipline? Absolutely. Focus? No question. Over the last two seasons, in games decided by eight points or less, A&M has lost eight straight, going back to an October 8, 2022, defeat against Alabama. It has not won a true road game in more than two years. Considering that Fisher’s last four recruiting classes were ranked fourteenth, first, seventh, and sixth in the nation by Rivals.com, the Aggies have become a case study in underachieving.

Because of that talent—and an incoming 2024 class currently ranked eighth—Elko’s job is not to rebuild the program, and with the University of Texas joining the Aggies in the Southeastern Conference next year, Elko will have no honeymoon period. His challenge will be to prevent a mass exodus of Fisher’s recruits via the transfer portal, and on Monday he went to work solidifying his roster. “He let us know first day what he expects from us, and he didn’t sugarcoat anything,” A&M quarterback Jaylen Henderson said. “As players, we also want a players’ coach, and we got that vibe immediately, as soon as he talked to us.”

Elko knows it’ll be a process, with the swirl of transfer options and NIL offers. “They got to know who you are,” he said Monday at his Texas A&M introductory press conference. “They got to know that you know who they are as young men, and they got to believe in what you’re selling and what you’re all about.”

“This is a relationship era,” he went on. “And that part of this is really important. That starts this week.”

A&M fans got to know Elko during the four seasons he spent as Fisher’s defensive coordinator between 2018 and 2021. Because he recruited some of the players he’s now coaching, Elko is hoping for a smooth transition. “There’s not many times when you go into a first team meeting and fifty of the guys come up and give you a big hug,” he said.

The Aggies were 34–14 during Elko’s four seasons as defensive coordinator under Fisher, and he constructed one of the country’s top defensive units. In Elko’s final season before taking the Duke job, A&M ranked third in the nation in total defense. On Monday, he said: “I do think there is a blue-collar toughness that comes with having a great defense that stands the test of time. But if you can’t score points, you won’t win games enough to be where we want to be.”

He articulated a simple vision for the program while addressing a rowdy group of cheering Aggies at Kyle Field’s Hall of Champions. “I’m back where I belong,” he said. “We are going to build the premier football program in the country. . . . We will become the absolute best version of ourself as quickly as possible because the best version of Texas A&M football wins the national championship.”

Elko certainly isn’t the first college football lifer to say that, but if he can become the coach who helps the Aggies live up to that potential, he’ll be a legend in College Station.

 

 

[nnm 36,356]

19 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said:

Vetting somebody who was terminated for cause should be a 10 second conversation with HR.

"You want to hire who?...   No."

“Hi President Bobbitt.  Thanks for coming in with coach Pittman.”

“So you want to rehire the old white guy you terminated for cause.  Are you also willing to rehire every woman, person of color, disabled person, and older person that has recently been terminated for cause?”

”I didn’t think so.”

”Go get your shine box and let the grownups work.”

[nnm 36,356]

12 minutes ago, texasdago said:

Oh God... now my whole world is upside down.  Now I know why people rage.

They do rage against the machine. (Edit: noticed @deft beat me to it).

Edited November 28, 2023 by nnm

[Biff Tannen 45,667]

22 minutes ago, Blotto said:

Search history shows aggy humpin it gifs, and after clicking on a few,  Google eventually threw that one at me. 

Well that explains why I couldn't find it.  Not putting that in my search history.

[Tex Long 4,383]

1 hour ago, C-Man said:

I think this is exactly why they have such high regard for the aggy ring. It's a pseudo-military college so it helps them complete the cosplay as a military man (or woman).

Read this as missionary man. Still carrying that torch for Annie Lennox...

[Wulaw Horn 19,068]

24 minutes ago, JBJ said:

Does ERob know where the bodies are buried or something?  He's the position coach of an underperforming unit.  Someone explain this to me.  Is he the bagman?

Yes and Yes. Also as the only non asshole on that entire staff the kids liked him the best I’m sure. 

[bad_teammate 13,192]

Quote

When a couple of Duke football players were twenty minutes late for then-new head coach Mike Elko’s first conditioning session two years ago, they were introduced to something he called an “accountability” workout. So grueling were the sprints, drills, and assorted other tortures they endured that tardiness wasn’t an issue for the rest of the season.

A&M's crew of spoiled, entitled mercenaries is going to LOVE this.

[Etexhorn13 3,045]

14 minutes ago, speed817 said:

SIAP

https://www.texasmonthly.com/arts-entertainment/texas-a-m-new-football-coach-mike-elko

  Reveal hidden contents

When a couple of Duke football players were twenty minutes late for then-new head coach Mike Elko’s first conditioning session two years ago, they were introduced to something he called an “accountability” workout. So grueling were the sprints, drills, and assorted other tortures they endured that tardiness wasn’t an issue for the rest of the season.

“Like, wild,” Elko told the Athletic earlier this year. “It just caught root that quick.”

Duke center Jacob Monk remembered his first telephone conversation with the coach.

“Do you love football?” Elko asked.

“Yes, sir,” Monk told him.

“We’ll see how much everyone loves football,” Elko replied.

Monk thought about that conversation when Elko introduced “Spartan Fridays” to the Duke training regimen. Included in the hours-long conditioning sessions were a hundred yards of lunges while carrying a teammate.

He also instilled in Duke football structure, accountability, and a clear vision—qualities college football fans hadn’t always expected from a so-called basketball school. His conditioning and weight training programs tested every player in ways large and small.

In return for his players’ dedication, Elko listened when they asked for better living facilities, a spiffier locker room, better meals, and even golf carts to get them from morning practices to class when schedules were tight. He was a hard-ass with a heart.

“No matter if you’re going through a walk-through, or you’re going out to practice and it’s one of the hottest days of the year, Coach Elko will make you the best version of yourself,” Duke quarterback Riley Leonard told reporters at media day in 2023.

Or, as Duke team captain DeWayne Carter put it: “He’s very transparent, keeps it very simple. You talk about the meat and potatoes, that is him. He’s the epitome of that.”

Elko’s way worked at Duke. In two seasons, he became just the second head coach to lead the Blue Devils to back-to-back bowl appearances. Duke won thirteen of Elko’s first seventeen games in 2022 and 2023 and was up to number sixteen in the Associated Press Top 25 before this year’s campaign was undone by a string of close losses and key injuries.

On Monday, Elko was introduced as Texas A&M’s new head football coach. He’s not the rock star hire some prominent Aggies wanted. Instead, he’s a solid, no-nonsense ball coach who believes in a set of core principles that could help the Aggies transform all those great recruiting classes into winning teams. He may be exactly what Texas A&M needs for a program that, despite its myriad recruiting and fund-raising advantages, hasn’t won a conference championship this century.

Elko was hired two weeks after former coach Jimbo Fisher was fired, and at the end of a wild weekend in which the Aggie jokes once more wrote themselves. A&M was on the verge of hiring Kentucky coach Mark Stoops when a rebellion on social media—seriously, social media?—seemed to influence the A&M Board of Regents and force a pivot by athletic director Ross Bjork.

In the end, Bjork and the regents got it right. The 46-year-old Elko agreed to a six-year, $42 million deal despite the school still owing Jimbo $77 million over the next eight years. He’ll take over a program blessed with some of the country’s deepest pockets, best facilities, most passionate fans, and highest expectations. College Station is also located in the heart of a deep reservoir of elite high school talent.

But something has been missing from Aggie football. Discipline? Absolutely. Focus? No question. Over the last two seasons, in games decided by eight points or less, A&M has lost eight straight, going back to an October 8, 2022, defeat against Alabama. It has not won a true road game in more than two years. Considering that Fisher’s last four recruiting classes were ranked fourteenth, first, seventh, and sixth in the nation by Rivals.com, the Aggies have become a case study in underachieving.

Because of that talent—and an incoming 2024 class currently ranked eighth—Elko’s job is not to rebuild the program, and with the University of Texas joining the Aggies in the Southeastern Conference next year, Elko will have no honeymoon period. His challenge will be to prevent a mass exodus of Fisher’s recruits via the transfer portal, and on Monday he went to work solidifying his roster. “He let us know first day what he expects from us, and he didn’t sugarcoat anything,” A&M quarterback Jaylen Henderson said. “As players, we also want a players’ coach, and we got that vibe immediately, as soon as he talked to us.”

Elko knows it’ll be a process, with the swirl of transfer options and NIL offers. “They got to know who you are,” he said Monday at his Texas A&M introductory press conference. “They got to know that you know who they are as young men, and they got to believe in what you’re selling and what you’re all about.”

“This is a relationship era,” he went on. “And that part of this is really important. That starts this week.”

A&M fans got to know Elko during the four seasons he spent as Fisher’s defensive coordinator between 2018 and 2021. Because he recruited some of the players he’s now coaching, Elko is hoping for a smooth transition. “There’s not many times when you go into a first team meeting and fifty of the guys come up and give you a big hug,” he said.

The Aggies were 34–14 during Elko’s four seasons as defensive coordinator under Fisher, and he constructed one of the country’s top defensive units. In Elko’s final season before taking the Duke job, A&M ranked third in the nation in total defense. On Monday, he said: “I do think there is a blue-collar toughness that comes with having a great defense that stands the test of time. But if you can’t score points, you won’t win games enough to be where we want to be.”

He articulated a simple vision for the program while addressing a rowdy group of cheering Aggies at Kyle Field’s Hall of Champions. “I’m back where I belong,” he said. “We are going to build the premier football program in the country. . . . We will become the absolute best version of ourself as quickly as possible because the best version of Texas A&M football wins the national championship.”

Elko certainly isn’t the first college football lifer to say that, but if he can become the coach who helps the Aggies live up to that potential, he’ll be a legend in College Station.

 

 

Sounds like the first week of Charlie Strong. He even has his own version of “The Pit”.

[ousux 5,597]

When a couple of Duke football players were twenty minutes late for then-new head coach Mike Elko’s first conditioning session two years ago, they were introduced to something he called an “accountability” workout. So grueling were the sprints, drills, and assorted other tortures they endured that tardiness wasn’t an issue for the rest of the season.

A&M's crew of spoiled, entitled mercenaries is going to LOVE this.

A&M's crew of spoiled, entitled mercenaries is going to LOVE this.

Fuck it, I don't know how to quote anymore

[Horn Dogg 3,875]

1 hour ago, Frank Drebin said:

I have 2 questions:

1. Is this “kid” named Figurelli?

2. Which of you Surly posters were the guy with the inflatable sheep?  Nice work whoever you are!

This poor guy is about to get a lot more of his days ruined by Texas.  Sucks to be him.

[Genco 3,040]

29 minutes ago, Blotto said:

He should show up for his interview riding a motorcycle. 

Hopefully he's riding a trike these days.

[TOR 5,529]

32 minutes ago, Blotto said:

He should show up for his interview riding a motorcycle. 

 

[ousux 5,597]

I have 2 questions:
1. Is this “kid” named Figurelli?
2. Which of you Surly posters were the guy with the inflatable sheep?  Nice work whoever you are!
This poor guy is about to get a lot more of his days ruined by Texas.  Sucks to be him.

There is zero chance the inflatable sheep kids aren't surly posters now.

[Tex Pete 20,339]

8 minutes ago, ousux said:

18 minutes ago, Horn Dogg said:

I have 2 questions:
1. Is this “kid” named Figurelli?
2. Which of you Surly posters were the guy with the inflatable sheep?  Nice work whoever you are!
This poor guy is about to get a lot more of his days ruined by Texas.  Sucks to be him.

There is zero chance the inflatable sheep kids aren't surly posters now.

You assume that is not fan fiction.

[ousux 5,597]

You assume that is not fan fiction.

Good point, aggy is the master of fiction on the fly.

[Tex Pete 20,339]

1 minute ago, ousux said:

2 minutes ago, Tex Pete said:

You assume that is not fan fiction.

Good point, aggy is the master of fiction on the fly.

Their whole identity is based on a false portrayal of themselves. "Old Rock, the good Ag..."

Reality is more like Enos, the dirty sheep fucker.

[smuggs 9,353]

2 hours ago, Frank Drebin said:

 

[Zone Read 299]

2 hours ago, Frank Drebin said:

I don't wish a shitty childhood like his or mine on anyone, but why would you make it worse by going to a&m?  My life improved 1000% the day I set foot on the 40 acres.