Tell Me About Texas a&m

[Pimphand 5,984]

Spider rote a pome:

My classes just begun at Collin County Community Collage and I allready got a assinement in my Creative Riting class. I suppose to come up with a originale pome all my own.As you tsips now, aint much else Spider can thank off exsept the big game this weakend between the fightin Texas Aggies and the Noter Dame. So hears what I come up with...

Look Out Noter Dame

Look out Irish, Look out Noter Dame.
Perpair to loose this football game.

I laff at you domers that boast off tradition.
We the ones with bonfire and tunnel vision.

You may have the golden dome and the Cathlick Pope.
We has maroon karrots and a fullback on dope.

You may have NCs and Highsmens to boot.
We has boy cheerleeders in ice cream sutes.

You may have the 4 horsmen and a fella name Gipper.
We has 4H Clubs and 300 pound strippers.

You may have Newt Rockny and that old Irish luck.
We has RC Slocum and the seckrataries he's (bin frendly with).

You may laff at our shaved heads and our hick overalls.
Just wate till we bend over and skweeze our aggie balls.

You may mock us and you may tease us.
But we goeing to turd on touchdown Jesus.

gig'em

[MontereyMX 873]

2 hours ago, Jiggy-Z said:

Is that like the old "I just voted for Jesse Jackson" bit from Eddie Murphy?

maybe he can get a hold of Case M and a few more.   They could sign as well.  

[RomaVicta 30,035]

17 hours ago, coachherman'sgrill said:

 

Yeah, I don’t understand the reasoning why a home night game is such a deal breaker?

[coachherman'sgrill 2,315]

14 hours ago, WelfareBuysMyWeed said:

I would pay good money to see somebody dig up the bones of the dead dogs under the stadium and arrange them into the shape of "27-25". And then leave a stack of topped over lincoln logs next to it. And castrate Johnathan Manziel.

How much we talking???

[coachherman'sgrill 2,315]

You’ve all been warned but the replies are pretty funny 

https://texags.com/forums/5/topics/3512746

[coachherman'sgrill 2,315]

In my turkey, mashed potatoes, etc. stupor I kept thinking why ag thinks their 12th man and night home game was such an impact, and after reading below, I think I get it. 
The crowd noise at night is a metric that can’t really be quantified. The ones that do count, like win/loss or conference championships and “nattys” are easy to point to and are pretty easy to understand. But, since those wildly accepted metrics don’t bear ag reasoning, they can point to the 12th man or a night game as some weighted indicator for success, looking at you Graham. Even though the actual numbers and stat lines don’t support their argument. 
What I’m saying is ags don’t like reality and would rather say their the loudest or “muh stadium” rather than conference champs

[Hornius Emeritus 12,495]

3 hours ago, Pimphand said:

Spider rote a pome:

My classes just begun at Collin County Community Collage and I allready got a assinement in my Creative Riting class. I suppose to come up with a originale pome all my own.As you tsips now, aint much else Spider can thank off exsept the big game this weakend between the fightin Texas Aggies and the Noter Dame. So hears what I come up with...

Look Out Noter Dame

Look out Irish, Look out Noter Dame.
Perpair to loose this football game.

I laff at you domers that boast off tradition.
We the ones with bonfire and tunnel vision.

You may have the golden dome and the Cathlick Pope.
We has maroon karrots and a fullback on dope.

You may have NCs and Highsmens to boot.
We has boy cheerleeders in ice cream sutes.

You may have the 4 horsmen and a fella name Gipper.
We has 4H Clubs and 300 pound strippers.

You may have Newt Rockny and that old Irish luck.
We has RC Slocum and the seckrataries he's (bin frendly with).

You may laff at our shaved heads and our hick overalls.
Just wate till we bend over and skweeze our aggie balls.

You may mock us and you may tease us.
But we goeing to turd on touchdown Jesus.

gig'em

This was the greatest post in the history of Longhorn forums.  I laughed so freakin' hard. I called my dad and read it to him (giving him the proper context of course) and when he heard "perpair to loose this football game" he almost ruptured a kidney.

 

 

Edited 3 hours ago by Hornius Emeritus

[Hornius Emeritus 12,495]

 

 

 

[ATXbronco 4,109]

29 minutes ago, coachherman'sgrill said:

In my turkey, mashed potatoes, etc. stupor I kept thinking why ag thinks their 12th man and night home game was such an impact, and after reading below, I think I get it. 
The crowd noise at night is a metric that can’t really be quantified. 

 

Absolutely.  They beat Alabama with their home/night crowd!
You can't say their stadium doesn't get extreme loud. 

The 12th man spiel won that game for A&M and it'll get even louder and more obnoxious tomorrow night!
We might not be able to afford another slow start tomorrow.

 

[Sawbonz 27,681]

If they are so loud why are they bringing in field level speakers 

[Steamboat1874 4,091]

3 minutes ago, Sawbonz said:

If they are so loud why are they bringing in field level speakers 

Send a manager to unplug those mother fuckers when no one is looking.

[Sawbonz 27,681]

5 minutes ago, Steamboat1874 said:

Send a manager to unplug those mother fuckers when no one is looking.

Wire cutters 

[Cap33 394]

6 minutes ago, Steamboat1874 said:

Send a manager to unplug those mother fuckers when no one is looking.

Screw unplugging them -- just take garden shears and cut the cords. Check in the mail on Monday.

Edit: @Sawbonz and I think alike.

Edited 2 hours ago by Cap33

[Hagbard Celine 10,955]

9 minutes ago, Steamboat1874 said:

Send a manager to unplug those mother fuckers when no one is looking.

[Hagbard Celine 10,955]

21 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

 

we've won 10 true road games in a row which is the longest active streak in fbs

game times are determined by the broadcast contract owner as we have painfully dealt with for the past 15 years

sec true road games at night since the aggy temper tantrum (i.e. joining the sec and trying to burn down the rig on the way out):

12 @ klan W 66-31

21 @ pig L 21-40

23 @ gump W 34-24

sec true road games we have played since we joined the league this year

24 @ vandy

24 @ pig

the sec has had 2 opportunities to schedule us at night on the road

we should have already played an additional league game (home? road?) but the 8-game cowards own that fact not us - aggy can bitch at them

precisely which game(s) do the aggy fucktards suggest should have been moved to the morning or afternoon the days we went to nashville and fayettenam in order to prevent the creation of this BRAND NEW LESS THAN A MONTH OLD aggy "fact" that has morphed in to existence now that the number of true road sec games we have played has increased to MULTIPLE (i.e. more than one) opportunities to prove the eSipN KoNsPeArCeE!

this "fact" is now almost 2 weeks old

those raised in or converted to the faith of the brethren have a web 1.0 site to help them reprogram: https://www.exmormon.org/

aggy who need to be cleansed of fishcamp programmnig have a new, modern wiki to help them reprogram: https://aggypedia.com/

advantage: aggy

 

[Hagbard Celine 10,955]

20 hours ago, DFW Horn said:

Tell me more about aggy "outshining" The University. When did that actually happen?

OUTSHINING is ILLEGAL!!!

it's in the TEXAS CONSTITUTION!!!!!

for posterity and in the event the petition goes away here is the text of the change.org petition as of this moment 29nov24

https://www.change.org/p/remove-the-texas-longhorns-from-the-southeastern-conference-sec?recruiter=1358854032&recruited_by_id=b549ce10-adba-11ef-9e48-73e46da0aab2&utm_source=share_petition&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_medium=copylink

The Issue

As a passionate advocate for the integrity of the Southeastern Conference (SEC), I, like many of us, find the inclusion of the Texas Longhorns deeply concerning. For many, they have become a giant blight on what the SEC symbolizes, leading to an intention of a petition to exclude them from the SEC altogether. The Longhorns inclusion into the conference transgresses the fundamental values of the SEC – a place of fair play and integrity (occasionally).

The Longhorns are a major cancer to the conference:

    Contributing heavily to the implosion of previous conferences.
    Interfering with other SEC teams championship runs thru slimy back-door methods.
    Delaying games and endangering players by throwing  their dildos and baby bottles onto the field during game action.
    Paying off officials to give preferential treatment during sporting events. Evidence is everywhere. Just ask coaches and fans from Georgia, Oklahoma, Vanderbilt, Mississippi State, Texas A&M, or any other highly respected University.
    Having a “snowflake” fan base that cannot take a joke and/or a simple “horns down” gesture without crying.
    Studies show a large contingent of support for both Joe Biden and Kamala Harris among current Longhorn students and the vast majority of Longhorn alumni.

The inclusion of the Texas Longhorns has heavily tainted this great conference and brings an unprecedented challenge towards preserving our beloved SEC's integrity.

Therefore, we are urging the Southeastern Conference organization to hear the voices of those committed to preserving its integrity. We implore you to consider the consequences of the Texas Longhorns participation and to re-evaluate their position within the Southeastern Conference. Show your commitment to fair play and maintaining the enthusiasm of true fans by removing the Texas Longhorns from the SEC.

Sincerely,

SEC Fans Everywhere

[Hagbard Celine 10,955]

kevin mar from omaha nebraska just signed

[Jkwellborn 6,761]

Screw unplugging them -- just take garden shears and cut the cords. Check in the mail on Monday.
Edit: [mention=20]Sawbonz[/mention] and I think alike.

We are talking about aggy here. Just get the things wet.

[The_highest_of_fives 633]

19 hours ago, OU Sucks said:

That's hilarious that they think they can get 100k people to fake support that. They are currently sitting at an impressive 35 signatures, including Jack Me off, Aggie is Retarded and JizzJar OldArmy

Cackling as the names scroll by.  Remember change.org helps verify signatures are from real people

[Beau Vine 54,482]

Guess who's feeling optimistic?

Quote

Texas A&M football is looking to punch their ticket to Atlanta for an SEC Championship with a win over Texas this weekend. This will be a stiff test, but the Aggies have already faced some great teams this year.

Here are five bold predictions for the game.

Aggies jump off to a quick start
Texas A&M football will have to do this if they hope to pull off this game. Luckily for them, in front of a crowd like they'll see on Saturday night, it won't be hard to pick up some momentum against a tough defense. Sark has been taking the ball first even when the Longhorns win the coin flip, so the Aggies will probably start the day on defense—shutting out Texas on that first drive and scoring on their own will be key.

 

Longhorns turn to Manning at some point
Rumors continue to swirl about the troublesome ankle injury that Ewers has been dealing with. Given that fact and his earlier issues against Georgia's pass rush, he may end up in the same position where Sark pulls him from the game. If it's because of an injury being exacerbated, we would see much more of Manning, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's only for a few drives.

Texas A&M football registers several sacks
The Aggies have not rolled up too many sacks this year, but they've had an enormously high share of tackles for loss. I think A&M ends up with a fair amount of both, but that will include some emphatic moments where they take down the quarterback, especially if Ewers's mobility is limited.

Reed ends the day with highest QBR of the game
Marcel Reed has, on the down low, been putting together some impressive passer stats. Especially in the last few games, you can see the progression he's made in throwing the football. Even against a ferocious pass defense, I think we see Reed end up with another eye-catching QBR—higher than whoever Texas rolls out.

Aggies roll up 2+ rushing touchdowns
For as solid as I think Reed's numbers will be when throwing, I think the real place the Aggies can attack the Longhorns is on the ground. Texas has allowed several of their most recent opponents to have some relatively good days on the ground, and the Aggies are better-equipped to do that than most of the Longhorns' schedule.

ADVERTISING

Klein calls some truly innovative stuff in the red zone when it comes to the ground game, so I think we see a heavy dose of that. Plus, there's a possibility we see a familiar face joining in on the fun.

 

[Beau Vine 54,482]

MOAR!!!!

Quote

Texas A&M football is playing for everything in tomorrow night's renewed rivalry game against the Longhorns. This may be the most meaningful edition of this long and storied rivalry to date, given that both teams are eyeing a spot in the College Football Playoff.

The road won't be easy for the Aggies, though. They need to beat the Longhorns tomorrow, and then defeat the Georgia Bulldogs in Atlanta in the SEC Championship game.

This is a team skilled enough to pull something like that off, but it's a tall task. But every journey begins with a single step—and the Aggies just need to keep their eyes on what is immediately in front of them.

Here are three reasons why Texas A&M football will knock off the Longhorns to advance to the SEC Championship in Atlanta.

Marcel Reed carves up Texas defense
Marcel Reed has been getting better and better every single week that he's been behind center for the Aggies. He's recorded a passer rating of 130 or greater in every single game he's played in since LSU, including a whopping 394.0 passer rating against LSU.

He has eclipsed 200 yards in the air in each of the last three games, including against South Carolina, and has improved his accuracy very noticeably. This is not even to mention his dynamic running ability, which has been a huge boon to his game so far this year as well.

Whether on the ground or through the air, I think this is the game that Reed really, truly breaks out. He showed when he was subbed in against LSU that he's built for big moments, and I think he shows up in that same way in this one.

Quote

Texas A&M football's defense wins line of scrimmage
Texas has been able to run on a lot of the defenses they've faced—all except Georgia. And we know how that one turned out.

Rushing success is not a statistic that is extremely predictive when taken by itself, but getting completely whipped at the line of scrimmage is another thing. In other words, if the Aggies are able to stonewall the Texas rush game, then that has cascading effects.

They'll be able to keep the Longhorns in predictable passing situations, and tee off with Mike Elko's impossible-to-crack third-down packages. The simulated pressure looks and unorthodox fronts can confuse the Texas OL, and lead to some big plays on defense.

I anticipate that Sark will go to his patented screen game to throw this strategy off, though, so the Aggie corners will have to tackle well, and the safeties cannot over-pursue lest the Longhorns go over their heads. If the Aggies can keep Ewers uncomfortable, though, a lot of that is moot.

Quote

Kyle Field knocks Texas off their game
This is the biggest ingredient here. This is a Longhorn team that has not had to play in an extremely tough environment yet this year, nor have they had to play from behind for really any amount of time.

The one game where their opponent jumped out to a lead was Georgia, and Texas essentially folded immediately in that one. If the Aggies get out to a big lead behind this crowd—no doubt the most raucous this stadium will have ever seen—then Texas will be in entirely uncharted waters.

Simply put, given how they responded against Georgia, the burden of proof is on them to show that they are not a mentally fragile squad. Can they take an early punch from the Aggies and respond? I have a sneaking feeling that we get a chance to see that question answered tomorrow night.

 

[Deej 76,985]

[Tex Long 4,478]

2 hours ago, Steamboat1874 said:

Send a manager to unplug those mother fuckers when no one is looking.

Fuck that half-ass shit. Kill multiple birds: send manager over there with a pair of black dikes, cut that speaker wire in 12 places.

[Beau Vine 54,482]

Sorry if you're reading on dark mode, but Pat has lots of links.

Quote

With this weekend's huge matchup between Texas A&M football and the Longhorns looming, there's been a healthy amount of trash talk going on. Given how long the history between these two programs is, you have a healthy amount of appealing to that history going on.

 

And then, you have something like this.

I'll give you a second to emotionally process just how corny this is.

 

You good? Okay.

Of course, to anyone paying attention, you know that it is not the Aggies who were running from this rivalry. The Longhorns refused to keep playing the game, like the petulant children that they are, because they didn't like that A&M made the jump to the SEC. In fact, they reportedly worked along with other Big 12 teams to make sure no one from the conference scheduled A&M at all.

DeLoss Dodds said their nonconference schedule was full, and then when the Longhorn program nosedived following A&M's departure, he said that Texas should get to decide when the two teams play again. All the while, the Aggies' brass was saying that they were very open to playing; even after Dodds left, the Texas AD was still dodging the game. Even the Texas coaches were saying how much they were afraid of taking on the Aggies.

How anyone can read that and say that it's the Aggies who have been running from this matchup boggles the mind. But the Texas fanbase has a special penchant for finding new lows in making mind-numbingly awful points, even when it's tough to theoretically conceive of someone going lower.

Now that the Longhorns have followed in the Aggies' footsteps, though, they are, indeed, forced to play the Aggies again. Like then-Texas AD Steve Patterson said, well-representing the cowardly Longhorn sentiment:

Well, there's a compelling reason now. You're about to get compelled up and down the field for four quarters.

Is that anything? Someone let me know if that's anything.