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Tell Me About Texas a&m

MrPhlegm

By MrPhlegm
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linux

linux 1655

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, fattyflattie said:

They’ve graduated from helping folks find their way thru the parking lot to the stadium, to saving lives.  

https://texags.com/forums/5/topics/3411790

I don't know why I thought he had fallen from their triple decker, the game was not even played in CS, but just the thought of Aggy killing people with bad architecture and then saving them through a soft gomer landing (and prayer)... is just so peak them that I just went with it.

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Pimphand

Pimphand 5587

Posted
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1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

It seems pretty clear that he’s locked up in the nuthouse. He’s only able to post in small windows of time these days while there’s a shift change going on with the orderlies. 

I figured he went to the great astral plane with his good pal and BFF 13-0 BI but yes I just looked he has liked a post under a month ago so you may be right.

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Pimphand

Pimphand 5587

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29 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

Has there been a mention yet for them to lure Dan Campbell away from the Lions? Because surely his love for the place would be strong enough to get him to walk away from the NFL right?

https://texags.com/forums/5/topics/3411277

Happened Sunday morning bright and early once the post Bilbo Knoxville shitshow hangover wore off.

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Mitch Cumsteen

Mitch Cumsteen 18517

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I'll never forget my first game as a visitor to Kyle Field. I was lost and couldn't find my way to the stadium. As I look back at my harrowing journey from the parking lot to the greatest stadium in all of college football, I saw two sets of footprints. But on part of the journey, at the lowest and saddest times, I only saw one set of footprints. This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it. I didn't understand why he would leave me when I needed him the most. It was then that Jesus whispered to me, "When you saw only one set of footprints it was because I didn't want to get yelled at for walking on the grass. Uncover, you fucking heathen." Amen.

 

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Fud

Fud 9543

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, NoName said:

yeah, he's the "defensive coordinator" there lol dude has quite a resume between Bama and Georgia

image.png.086153523d9df1a74ea24ce1a4cf38ed.png

dude is super super super close to Kirby, basically his right hand man since 2011 and his first hire at UGA. i can't imagine he leaves for A&M of all places lol

FFS the guy interviewed for the Eagles DC job last year.

Of course he'd leave for the A&M HC job 

I doubt they're passing the hat around to pay out the largest buyout ever by a multiple to hire Georgia's DC

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Herpa Derpa

Herpa Derpa 6105

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15 minutes ago, TexasBeta said:

Ain't no way the Lord I pray too would attend such a gathering of inbred hayseeds and sheep humpers.. So.. Maybe Zuul the gate keeper intervened.. He would surely attend such an event. 

Joke's on them, God was watching Washington-Oregon while tailgating in South Bend. I heard he only checked the aggy score on his phone a couple of times.

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closetojumping

closetojumping 62132

Posted
Posted

Seeing all of the fan fiction from them about visiting stadiums reminds me of the first time I went to a Texas/ATM game in DKR while attending UT. It was the last ugly blowout in the 90's before the universe righted itself. 

I wasn't in the student section as I was rarely off on Saturdays, so I'd bought a normal ticket on the lower west side of the stadium. There were some aggies seated right behind me and they were yelling some of the weirdest shit I've heard in my life to this day, and I still don't quite understand some of it. These were just guys hooting and howling nonsense, as I don't remember noticing milkmen led chants or a cadence to the idiotic yells.

"Here we go Army! AARRRRMMMYYYY! AAAARRRRRRRRMMMMYYYY!!"

"Let's go plowboys! Give'em hell plowboys!!"

"Farmer's fight! Give'em hell farmers!!"

"Squeeze aggies!! SQUUUEEEEEEZZZZZE!!!"

I've seen references on the boards over the years but I still cannot believe some it. Who is army? What the fuck is a "plowboy"? I get the farmer one, but it is still weird as hell. I still cannot bring myself to believe that "squeeze" actually means they need to squeeze their scrotum. Is that honestly correct? Is there source material? Anyway, without being steeped in aggie history by insiders growing up, I feel like I don't follow some of this shit when it is discussed. Also, what does "uncover" mean?

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Vertigo

Vertigo 20257

Posted
Posted (edited)
3 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Seeing all of the fan fiction from them about visiting stadiums reminds me of the first time I went to a Texas/ATM game in DKR while attending UT. It was the last ugly blowout in the 90's before the universe righted itself. 

I wasn't in the student section as I was rarely off on Saturdays, so I'd bought a normal ticket on the lower west side of the stadium. There were some aggies seated right behind me and they were yelling some of the weirdest shit I've heard in my life to this day, and I still don't quite understand some of it. These were just guys hooting and howling nonsense, as I don't remember noticing milkmen led chants or a cadence to the idiotic yells.

"Here we go Army! AARRRRMMMYYYY! AAAARRRRRRRRMMMMYYYY!!"

"Let's go plowboys! Give'em hell plowboys!!"

"Farmer's fight! Give'em hell farmers!!"

"Squeeze aggies!! SQUUUEEEEEEZZZZZE!!!"

I've seen references on the boards over the years but I still cannot believe some it. Who is army? What the fuck is a "plowboy"? I get the farmer one, but it is still weird as hell. I still cannot bring myself to believe that "squeeze" actually means they need to squeeze their scrotum. Is that honestly correct? Is there source material? Anyway, without being steeped in aggie history by insiders growing up, I feel like I don't follow some of this shit when it is discussed. Also, what does "uncover" mean?

To add to this taxonomy, "Pass it back ags!" with the hand gesture thing Is one of the weirdest statements/cheers/whatever the hell this is ever. 

Edited by Vertigo
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MH BEVO

MH BEVO 1264

Posted
Posted
56 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

I'll never forget my first game as a visitor to Kyle Field. I was lost and couldn't find my way to the stadium. As I look back at my harrowing journey from the parking lot to the greatest stadium in all of college football, I saw two sets of footprints. But on part of the journey, at the lowest and saddest times, I only saw one set of footprints. This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it. I didn't understand why he would leave me when I needed him the most. It was then that Jesus whispered to me, "When you saw only one set of footprints it was because I didn't want to get yelled at for walking on the grass. Uncover, you fucking heathen." Amen.

 

God damn I’ve never Whooped so hard in my life. 

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texasdago

texasdago 7550

Posted
Posted (edited)

This one's even better... this is how FSU viewed Jimbo.  All these warning signals and yet A&M thought... "yup, this is our man.  We'll put our money where our mouth is!"

https://www.goodbullhunting.com/2017/11/7/16619974/making-sense-of-the-jimbo-fisher-rumors-texas-a-m-coaching-vacancy-replace-kevin-sumlin

 

image.thumb.png.d6ff4beef96555959b7c3aa1422a040d.png

Then you have this...

image.png.431c109214393d6d7329ce3438bd6fc7.png

2018 - 5-3

2019 - 4-4

2020 - 8-1

2021 - 4-4

2022 - 2-6

2023 - 2-2 (current)

6 year total - 25 - 20.  Hmmm... not trending in the right direction but look at 2020.  They extended him, right?  Funny thing is his 30-18 prediction was a 5-3 average every year.  What's that buyout again?  Hilarious.

 

Edited by texasdago
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deft

deft 6772

Posted
Posted
I was out hunting and one of the guys accidentally flagged another and shot him in the back. As the shot man lay bleeding, dying, and weeping, I asked him if he loved Jesus. Some blood gurgled out of his mouth and I took that as a yes. So I prayed over him as panic and fear filled his eyes. He died.
I'm sure my prayers helped him get into heaven, though!
WHOOOOOOOOP!

Two aggys were out hunting and one shot the other. He probably would have made it if he didn’t also get field dressed right after.
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NoName

NoName 16271

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, linux said:

Of course

https://texags.com/forums/5/topics/3411277

can you imagine a 78 year old coaching at A&M? A&M is everything  Spurrier hates.

image.png.965a2ab426c10370fae17ef1b8d968ae.png

also Dan Campbell has only ever coached at the NFL level. its the same as those idiots who think Kyle Shanahan will come to Texas. dude makes bank and coached exactly 1 year as a GA before going to the NFL and has never looked back.

oh yeah, and the lions are really good now!

more from that thread:

image.png.b45200c8f705db3271bd5499db993dfc.png

yeah, no history of overweight coaches ever being good at any level...

image.png.4d6de15697f441792bae56d527d03e9d.png

 

i love recruiting but this guy has to be a troll.

image.png.81f553572e4d4452e3087f10984de9ff.png

yeah, that's a hold up.

image.png.d91e01c915730b10bc845ef8dabd3ee3.png

"the money is not the issue:

image.png.6a6d2db19ca60e32c4465016a59dfc1d.png

 

 

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linux

linux 1655

Posted
Posted

I hate that I have to be fair to aggy but he is talking about those coaches coming home, not specifically to A&M, but yeah the Aggie flirtation with NFL coaches is hilarious, unproven commodities that don't know how to recruit? and can't bring a good staff or portal players? sign me the hell up!

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statsman

statsman 5406

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, closetojumping said:

Seeing all of the fan fiction from them about visiting stadiums reminds me of the first time I went to a Texas/ATM game in DKR while attending UT. It was the last ugly blowout in the 90's before the universe righted itself. 

I wasn't in the student section as I was rarely off on Saturdays, so I'd bought a normal ticket on the lower west side of the stadium. There were some aggies seated right behind me and they were yelling some of the weirdest shit I've heard in my life to this day, and I still don't quite understand some of it. These were just guys hooting and howling nonsense, as I don't remember noticing milkmen led chants or a cadence to the idiotic yells.

"Here we go Army! AARRRRMMMYYYY! AAAARRRRRRRRMMMMYYYY!!"

"Let's go plowboys! Give'em hell plowboys!!"

"Farmer's fight! Give'em hell farmers!!"

"Squeeze aggies!! SQUUUEEEEEEZZZZZE!!!"

I've seen references on the boards over the years but I still cannot believe some it. Who is army? What the fuck is a "plowboy"? I get the farmer one, but it is still weird as hell. I still cannot bring myself to believe that "squeeze" actually means they need to squeeze their scrotum. Is that honestly correct? Is there source material? Anyway, without being steeped in aggie history by insiders growing up, I feel like I don't follow some of this shit when it is discussed. Also, what does "uncover" mean?

It was explained to me (haven’t we all shared the experience of finding out about Aggie weirdness as freshmen, talking to old HS friends that went to A&M, as they tried to make it sound normal and reasonable?) that Aggies squeeze their balls so they will feel the same pain as their players actually in the fight. 

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deadshank

deadshank 24651

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1 hour ago, deft said:


Two aggys were out hunting and one shot the other. He probably would have made it if he didn’t also get field dressed right after.

Two aggy were out hunting and happened across a gorgeous and completely nekkid brunette that was lounging in the sun on a large rock.  She had a tempting smile on her face and a seductive pose as aggy cautiously approached.

One aggy clears his throat and says "ma'am, are you game?"

The brunette coquettishly bites the side of her lower lip while twirling her beautiful, long, raven locks with one hand and replies "why, yes, I'm game..."

The other aggy shot her dead and put his tag on her.

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Born Burnt

Born Burnt 6147

Posted
Posted
20 minutes ago, statsman said:

It was explained to me (haven’t we all shared the experience of finding out about Aggie weirdness as freshmen, talking to old HS friends that went to A&M, as they tried to make it sound normal and reasonable?) that Aggies squeeze their balls so they will feel the same pain as their players actually in the fight. 

Yep, this is from a 1981 Texas Monthly article...

image.thumb.png.1dc14f2df561fd16d3a95b3142d9c802.png

This gem is from the same article...

image.thumb.png.518e975040f61f4dffe666c13d600054.png

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Deej

Deej 76511

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

Has there been a mention yet for them to lure Dan Campbell away from the Lions? Because surely his love for the place would be strong enough to get him to walk away from the NFL right?

Jeff Ward discussed it on his show yesterday. 

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TreatyOak

TreatyOak 16147

Posted
Posted

This one is so good I won't even bother turning it into a meme: 
 

Jimbo is aware of all of these crazy posts

UltimateSuperGenius
 
I can't say how I know, but Jimbo and the staff are aware of all of these insane posts threatening lawsuits, talking about hiring other coaches and mocking his manhood. Do you idiots think that demeaning our own coaches will help us win road games against Ole Miss & LSU?

The jokes and personal attacks need to stop, and stop today.

It is time for us to unite in prayer.

Just like last time, we will be meeting at the common room at Clyde's apartment complex. If you don't know where this is, you likely aren't invited. We will all meet Wed at 5:30 and will be done before the Astros/Rangers game. This is a nondenominational, contemporary prayer group. Clyde got in a lot of trouble last time when people brought snakes. Do not do that crap again.
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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 53965

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, linux said:

I hate that I have to be fair to aggy but he is talking about those coaches coming home, not specifically to A&M, but yeah the Aggie flirtation with NFL coaches is hilarious, unproven commodities that don't know how to recruit? and can't bring a good staff or portal players? sign me the hell up!

mikeshermansleeping.jpg

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Born Burnt

Born Burnt 6147

Posted
Posted
16 minutes ago, DaysOff said:


Head squeezer is an acquaintance. Yes, he lives in Katy, and yes works in o and g sales of some sort.

I should have included the insightful ending to the article (written by an aggie):

These photographs all show important Aggie rituals or traditions—quadding, whipping out, catching butterflies, watching the bonfire, and the rest. To all you t.u. graduates and Rice intellectuals and SMU beauty queens and Baylor saints, these rites of Aggiedom may look just like what you thought Aggies would do. But to Aggies, all this looks normal. Campus legend, honored by repetition to each incoming class, is that these rituals help bring the cadets together, form bonds of camaraderie and spirit that will never be broken. Maybe they do, or maybe they do something else entirely. I just know that they are the crucible of Aggiedom. Beyond that I can’t say. I’m an Aggie. To be an Aggie is not to wonder why.

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ChiTownDoc

ChiTownDoc 21091

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Born Burnt said:

Yep, this is from a 1981 Texas Monthly article...

image.thumb.png.1dc14f2df561fd16d3a95b3142d9c802.png

This gem is from the same article...

image.thumb.png.518e975040f61f4dffe666c13d600054.png

Most of them are just closeted homos.  There's nothing wrong with being gay.  Has anyone ever explained to them what NTTAWWT means?  It might solve a lot of their mental issues. 

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BillyGoatHill

BillyGoatHill 4276

Posted
Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, closetojumping said:

Seeing all of the fan fiction from them about visiting stadiums reminds me of the first time I went to a Texas/ATM game in DKR while attending UT. It was the last ugly blowout in the 90's before the universe righted itself. 

I wasn't in the student section as I was rarely off on Saturdays, so I'd bought a normal ticket on the lower west side of the stadium. There were some aggies seated right behind me and they were yelling some of the weirdest shit I've heard in my life to this day, and I still don't quite understand some of it. These were just guys hooting and howling nonsense, as I don't remember noticing milkmen led chants or a cadence to the idiotic yells.

"Here we go Army! AARRRRMMMYYYY! AAAARRRRRRRRMMMMYYYY!!"

"Let's go plowboys! Give'em hell plowboys!!"

"Farmer's fight! Give'em hell farmers!!"

"Squeeze aggies!! SQUUUEEEEEEZZZZZE!!!"

I've seen references on the boards over the years but I still cannot believe some it. Who is army? What the fuck is a "plowboy"? I get the farmer one, but it is still weird as hell. I still cannot bring myself to believe that "squeeze" actually means they need to squeeze their scrotum. Is that honestly correct? Is there source material? Anyway, without being steeped in aggie history by insiders growing up, I feel like I don't follow some of this shit when it is discussed. Also, what does "uncover" mean?

Army refers to them saving the world during WW2. And let's not forget the great war where they went off to fight while UT students sat on their porches sipping iced tea. Funny that we are the ones that have their stadium named (Memorial Stadium)for those student athletes that went to France and never returned while they bury their dogs so that they can still see the scoreboard.

They still constantly brag about how many officers came from the Corps during WW2, stating more officers came from A&M than West Point and the Naval Academy combined. But they ALWAYS fail to note that A&M had 4x the enrollment of either academy during WW2 and at least double if both of them were combined. Whenever I hear one state this claim about aggy officers and turning the tide, WINNING the war....I always retort, "And that is why it took us 4 years to win the war".

Uncover is also a military term of removing your hat, especially indoors. Marines still refer to their 8 point utility caps as a cover.

1 hour ago, Born Burnt said:

Yep, this is from a 1981 Texas Monthly article...

image.thumb.png.1dc14f2df561fd16d3a95b3142d9c802.png

This gem is from the same article...

image.thumb.png.518e975040f61f4dffe666c13d600054.png

 

1 hour ago, LTtxfan said:

Yeah, it's in video below...     smdh

 

Weird ass fuckers.

Making sheep nervous since 1876....

 

 

630-751a5151bf46ebfe1dc2cde0ba92b9cb.jpg

Edited by BillyGoatHill
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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8787

Posted
Posted
50 minutes ago, ChiTownDoc said:

Most of them are just closeted homos.  There's nothing wrong with being gay.  Has anyone ever explained to them what NTTAWWT means?  It might solve a lot of their mental issues. 

Lol, doc, hope springs eternal but NOTHING is going to solve ANY of their mental issues.

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