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MrPhlegm

By MrPhlegm
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Doc Daneeka

Doc Daneeka 6,768

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1 hour ago, BurntEyes said:

I like Doc and his Iron Maiden pic but he lives in a very literal world. 

I was on the spectrum before there was a spectrum. All the more so with the dry written word in a forum full of people swan diving off a building during the first drive of the Michigan game, so who the hell can tell a joke from an awful take in this place. At least everyone knows my awful tales are awful takes. 

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Scholz

Scholz 11,896

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Take this for what it’s worth but word on the street (via some aggy Sigma Chis I know), is that Weigman got benched for smoking too much weed. Not kidding. Makes more sense than that ridiculous injury BS.

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Hook1997

Hook1997 5,241

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3 minutes ago, Scholz said:

Take this for what it’s worth but word on the street (via some aggy Sigma Chis I know), is that Weigman got benched for smoking too much weed. Not kidding. Makes more sense than that ridiculous injury BS.

I’ve heard a weight dropped on his ankle in the weight room, a shoulder injury from ND, Covid, but this one takes the cake of ridiculousness.  

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MonkeyDoughnut

MonkeyDoughnut 10,009

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28 minutes ago, Scholz said:

Take this for what it’s worth but word on the street (via some aggy Sigma Chis I know), is that Weigman got benched for smoking too much weed. Not kidding. Makes more sense than that ridiculous injury BS.

I mean did he steal Elko's Cheetos at the time and Elko sat on his shoulder? How much is too much?  He looked hurt. Faking pain after getting benched for smoking too much weed is a bit much.

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Jiggy-Z

Jiggy-Z 3,422

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Posted
2 hours ago, Scholz said:

Take this for what it’s worth but word on the street (via some aggy Sigma Chis I know), is that Weigman got benched for smoking too much weed. Not kidding. Makes more sense than that ridiculous injury BS.

Which begs the question if aggy has developed a maroon genetically modified weed?

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BurntEyes

BurntEyes 5,654

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Posted (edited)
13 hours ago, Doc Daneeka said:

I was on the spectrum before there was a spectrum. All the more so with the dry written word in a forum full of people swan diving off a building during the first drive of the Michigan game, so who the hell can tell a joke from an awful take in this place. At least everyone knows my awful tales are awful takes. 

We share the same affliction Doc. It's why I like you.

My ability and penchant for going full regard has been noted by many and acknowledged by me.

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Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18,611

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Posted
15 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

I'm in Seattle without a computer, so someone else is going to have to post Graham's new power ranking.  A NEW NUMBER ONE!!!

https://gigemgazette.com/posts/power-ranking-the-sec-after-week-3-new-number-one-aggies-rise-in-rankings-01j7w3cxr5s0

 

So aggy struggles with his #15 ranked team to and moves up to 5. Ahead of Big Brother who is ranked 1/2 nationally.  Makes sense

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Doc Daneeka

Doc Daneeka 6,768

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18 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

I'm in Seattle without a computer, so someone else is going to have to post Graham's new power ranking.  A NEW NUMBER ONE!!!

https://gigemgazette.com/posts/power-ranking-the-sec-after-week-3-new-number-one-aggies-rise-in-rankings-01j7w3cxr5s0

 

It’s schtick, and not even clever schtick, but I could see this guy having Texas #4 in the SEC while Sarkisian is hoisting the national championship trophy. 

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Vertigo

Vertigo 20,208

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Posted
1 hour ago, Beau Vine said:

I'm in Seattle without a computer, so someone else is going to have to post Graham's new power ranking.  A NEW NUMBER ONE!!!

https://gigemgazette.com/posts/power-ranking-the-sec-after-week-3-new-number-one-aggies-rise-in-rankings-01j7w3cxr5s0

 

This shit is way too time consuming, but this belongs in the Louvre.

Spoiler

Power ranking the SEC after College Football week 3: Texas A&M football on the rise as new team claims top spot

Conference play has hardly begun, but the SEC has already been a wild ride this year. This latest batch of games has some fans claiming that Georgia isn't even a top-3 team after their struggles on the road against Kentucky, for example.

ADVERTISING

There's still a lot of football left to play, of course. There are so many teams that have yet to face any challenges—and a couple that have faced nothing but challenges so far.

All that said, let's jump right in and take a look at how the power rankings shake out for the SEC this week.

Power ranking the SEC after week 3: #16 - Mississippi State

16

16 Mississippi State Bulldogs

Previous ranking: 14

I am so sorry, but you cannot lose to Toledo and not come in last on this list, unless someone else somehow lost to Toledo as well. And that’s impossible!

Mississippi State looked like they may have had something going in week one with a relatively competent performance (such as it was) against Eastern kentucky, but whatever momentum might have been there is now completely out the window. It has been replaced with a loss to Toledo.

We have what is, in SEC terms, possibly the pillow fight of the century this weekend when the Bulldogs host the Florida Gators at noon this weekend. I legitimately have no idea how to pick that game.

 

15 Florida Gators

Previous ranking: 15

Here’s the other half of Irrelevancy Bowl 2024, almost in last place—but not quite! The Gators, at least, beat the lower-division team they were supposed to when they took care of business against Samford last week.

This is a team that looks like they have just kind of given up. They showed a little bit of fight after going down 33-7 to take some action against an insanely conservative gameplan, where Texas A&M was clearly just trying to get out of dodge with a backup QB, but there’s way too many qualifiers there to read any sort of optimism into this.

The most interesting question about the Gators at this point is not whether Billy Napier gets canned, but how quickly it happens. If it’s not this week, then surely a loss to Mississippi State would do it, right? And there’s no way a win in Starkville does anything for this program… would it?

We may not have to answer that question. I’m writing this on Sunday night, so it’s entirely possible Napier is gone before I actually get this published.

14 Arkansas Razorbacks

Previous ranking: 12

Meanwhile, here are the Hogs, just humming along after a battle in Stillwater, coming back home to match up against UAB in what should be a snooze-fest—at least, after what we saw out of their offense the first two weeks, it should be. Right?

I don’t think I’m the only one who came into this game with this line of reasoning; hence, many being surprised to see the Blazers going up 17-3 on the Hogs. How’d that happen? Well, Taylen Green all of a sudden didn’t quite look like Cam Newton anymore, basically.

They pulled it out at the end, of course, and this one may well just be a letdown game for Arky. Or maybe a lookahead game as the Hog staff anticipates a trip out to the Plains to take on the Auburn Tigers.

In any case, it’s looking like Bobby P’s magic may not be enough to buoy the Hogs all year. There will, in fact, be down stretches! If you’re an Arkansas fan, you just hope they don’t last long.

They might lose to UCF. I’m sorry, but… there’s a strong possibility this team goes 2-10. That’s partially a function of the schedule, but this kind of thing begins to snowball.

 

13 Vanderbilt Commodores

Previous ranking: 11

 

The proof-of-concept win over Virginia Tech and the followup shellacking of Alcorn State are doing a lot of work to keep the Commodores out of the bottom three here. Losing to Georgia State in Atlanta (which, I would just like to point out, I called as their top trap game in the preseason) is a tough look, even for Vandy.

Still, though, this team shows fight. They roared back to take the lead in the back half of the game after looking abysmal for most of it, and that’s something to build off of. Diego Pavia is still a baller.

Things aren’t getting any easier for the ‘Dores in their quest for bowl eligibility, though. A trip to Missouri comes ahead of a bye week; on the other side, Alabama awaits. Those games have not gone well for Vandy in years past, in case you were wondering.

Right now, Kentucky and Auburn are the best chances this team has to get a couple of SEC wins. Ball State comes to town as well, which should be a win. If they hope to get a bowl berth now, they have to not only beat the Tigers and Wildcats, but find a win against Texas, South Carolina, LSU, or Tennessee.

12 Auburn Tigers

Previous ranking: 13

My opinion of Auburn hasn’t changed at all since their loss to Cal. They changed quarterbacks, in case you didn’t see, shelving Payton Thorne for freshman Hank Brown (let me know which of those is a more Auburn name).

Even so, they struggled to pull away from the New Mexico Lobos. They eventually were able to do so, but not without an inordinate amount of trouble.

I’m just going to need to see more from the Tigers against some legit defenses before they move out of this lower quadrant here. Arkansas will be something of a test, but it’s the visit from Oklahoma that I have my eye on.

Also, in another scheduling quirk, Auburn plays the Sooners on September 28. Their next home game is against Vanderbilt on November 2. I’m not quite sure who let that one slip through, but it’s one of the stranger things I’ve seen on a conference schedule in some time.

11 Kentucky Wildcats

Previous ranking: 16

The Wildcats were in dead last in the previous edition of these rankings, thanks mostly to what appeared to be a complete inability to operate an offense against South Carolina. They’ve somewhat redeemed themselves… but not entirely.

Their biannual scare of Georgia in Lexington once more convened on Saturday, and the Dawgs escaped by one point. That was much more the Kentucky I expected to see this season, if not the Georgia I expected to.

The offensive line looked far more competent, and the defensive line looked much more disruptive. UGA was without star DL Mykel Williams, and the Bulldogs lack the kind of speed rusher that South Carolina has in Dylan Stewart, but it was still an impressive showing by the Cats.

They need to get back on track with a win over the Ohio Bobcats this week before a daunting trip to Ole Miss. Likely wins follow with a home game against Vandy and a trip to the Swamp. 3-1 in the next four would be a heck of a way to break out of your slump.

10 Oklahoma Sooners

Another game from OU still gives me very little confidence that they’ve figured things out. Tulane—admittedly a good G5 team, but a G5 team nonetheless, hung around for way too long here.

The Sooners eventually pulled away thanks to some strong defense and Jackson Arnold carrying the ball, both of which seem like recipes for success this season. But now, things are about to get real for the currently-undefeated Sooners.

The next five games for the Crimson and Cream are as follows: home against Tennessee, at Auburn, Red River, hosting South Carolina, and at Ole Miss. A brief reprieve against Maine precedes the closeout stretch of Missouri, Alabama, and LSU.

It’s extremely possible that that’s only two wins out of nine remaining games. Now, do I think that’s how they finish? No. I think the Sooners can get to seven wins—eight if they beat Texas—but there’s no doubt this is a tough row to hoe. We’ll find out soon what OU is made of.

9 LSU Tigers

Previous ranking: 8

Some may notice that I have LSU ranked below the team they beat on Saturday. Anyone who watched that game, outside of the state of Louisiana, will understand why.

That was a really disappointing game to follow. There were a bevy of 50/50 calls—and some not even that close—that went in the favor of the Tigers to help them win that game, not to mention the opposing quarterback going down with injury after carving them up in the first half.

LSU’s defense is still a gigantic concern. Now, it looks kind of like they’re about to play a team who is a nice remedy for defensive issues in the UCLA Bruins, who have a grand total of 29 points through two games (against Hawaii and Indiana), so maybe that helps them get on track.

There’s still absolutely no excuse for the misuse of Harold Perkins in Blake Baker’s defense, however. Especially now that their best DT is out for the year in Guillory, this is simply a run defense that is too soft. They’re lucky to have two wins so far, and they may need them in order to sniff eight by the end of the season.

8 South Carolina Gamecocks

Previous ranking: 9

And here are the Tigers’ counterparts from this past game. Shane Beamer’s squad deserved a huge, program-changing win on Saturday, and it’s a real shame they didn’t get it after how most of that game went.

But that’s life in the SEC. You have to fight through things like quarterback injuries, and the Gamecocks were unable to do so in this one. After the threat of Sellers was no longer a factor in this one, the LSU defense was able to key in on the Carolina offense, and all but shut them down.

Going forward, though, this is a dangerous team. Carolina has a really, really tough schedule ahead of them—not Florida tough, but what is? Akron will be a nice way to coast into the bye, and pending Sellers’ injury, he could be back by the time Ole Miss comes into town on October 5.

If I’m the Rebels, I’ve got that one circled as a trap game. I don’t know if the Gamecocks will have what it takes to take down the Tide the following week, but OU right after looks very gettable. Win one of those two, and all you need to do to get to a bowl is beat Vandy and Wofford.

7 Missouri Tigers

Previous ranking: 5

The Tigers held onto their top-10 ranking in the AP poll this week, but just barely. Mizzou, after dominating, uh, Buffalo and Murray State, struggled mightily against Boston College—who, to be fair, might be pretty good.

I liked what I saw out of Brady Cook in terms of moxie, but I’m really not convinced he’s a game-changer at quarterback. The run game was questionable as well against a smaller BC front, which will be a storyline to watch in the Tigers’ two big road games—A&M and Alabama.

But you have to feel good about your ace in the hole—Luther Burden. The top-rated receiver in the class of 2022 is continuing to stake out a position as a first-round receiver, with dazzling catches and runs week in and week out.

Theo Wease is a nice second option for the Tigers, but I’m not feeling amazing about their ability to consistently create offense against elite defenses with just those two guys. It’s the Mizzou defense that has overachieved so far, in my book, and the offense hasn’t quite been what I wanted to see.

6 Texas Longhorns

Previous ranking: 7

The Longhorns, sitting at no. 2 in the Coaches’ Poll, are continuing to make a lot of hay with that win over Michigan—one that looks like it will continue to sour with each passing week, after the Wolverines beat Arkansas State by only ten.

The same old issues keep cropping up. Quinn Ewers threw another extremely questionable interception shortly before he exited the game with an abdominal strain. Arch Manning was able to find the talented Longhorn receivers against the UTSA defensive backs for the rest of the game, but rushing acumen on both sides of the ball hasn’t been there.

The Longhorns allowed nearly a yard per carry more than the Roadrunners average, and they themselves earned their worst PPA/rush of the year at 0.028. For context, that’s worse than A&M against Notre Dame, Vanderbilt against Virginia Tech, or Kentucky against Georgia.

The Longhorns have been able to take advantage of overmatched teams and inept offenses so far on defense, putting up impressive numbers in YPA allowed and defensive third down conversion rate. But when they face more capable offensive units, you can’t help but feel that their ineptitude in these facets will end up coming back to bite them.

5 Texas A&M Aggies

Previous ranking: 6

 

After a dominant performance in the Swamp—one that came against the team that, yes, is the occupant of the second-to-last spot in these here rankings—the Aggies are right back on track. Doing it with a backup QB in a road environment isn’t half-bad, either.

The Ags, outside of areas affected by injury, seem like they’ve improved every single week. The QB play wasn’t as good this week as it was the week prior, even adjusting for opponent, but the offensive line more than made up for it.

The Aggies also shored up their rush defense and bottled up the Gators on the ground. Their soft zones in the second half allowed UF to pick some plays up underneath, but it was tough sledding for most of the day for the hometown team.

A&M gets a game against Bowling Green, who just pushed Penn State to the limit, before they head to Dallas for the Southwest Classic. Hopefully, Weigman will be ready to go by the time Missouri rolls into town—I think he should, but you never know with these kinds of injuries.

This is a team that has figured out its identity offensively. The early game against a staunch Notre Dame defense, even though it resulted in a loss, could end up serving the Ags well by the time the season ends.

4 Ole Miss Rebels

Previous ranking: 4

Is it just me, or is Ole Miss beginning to look kind of bored running up all these points on teams? Wake Forest is no doubt the best team they’ve played so far (which should probably tell you a lot about their schedule to this point, but it kind of looked like—dare I say it—that they laid off the gas!

It was still a disgustingly dominant performance statistically, as you’d expect out of a team like Ole Miss against Wake Forest. With Kentucky lagging behind, it’s beginning to seem more and more that the Rebels won’t have a true test until… I don’t know, Georgia on November 9?

Like I said, you have to be careful of trap games, and that trip to Columbia looks more and more like it may be just that. It will be no easy task to get through that one and the ensuing trip to Red Stick, but I can’t help but feel that coming through that stretch unscathed is tantamount to a ticket to the SEC championship game.

This all, of course, is allowing for the fact that injuries may end up playing more of a part than any of us want to see. If the Rebs don’t lose any top contributors, I’m thinking it is pretty likely they end up in Atlanta.

3 Alabama Crimson Tide

Previous ranking: 3

Alabama did what you’re supposed to do against Wisconsin, and in emphatic fashion. Call me crazy, but I think this one ends up just as or more impressive than the Longhorns’ win against Michigan by year’s end.

Now, the Tide get a nice week off before what promises to be the game of the year in Tuscaloosa. Georgia rolls into town on September 28 for what may be an SEC championship—heck, even a playoff—preview early on in the year.

This will be quite the early test for Kalen DeBoer. He looks like he’s figured something out on offense, excepting the South Florida debacle, and it will be interesting to see how that game unfolds, given how unfocused the Bulldogs looked against Kentucky.

The most interesting result, to me, is if the Tide lose at home. That’s an eminently understandable outcome, of course, but I’ll be watching closely to see if there’s any unrest emanating from the Alabama faithful were that result to come to pass. After all, Saban only lost to Kirby once.

2 Georgia Bulldogs

Previous ranking: 1

The Bulldogs lose their grip on the top spot by virtue of their performance against Kentucky. I called it “unfocused,” which I think is a decent word to describe what we saw up in Lexington: the Dawgs, though clearly the more talented team, simply couldn’t get into gear against the Wildcats.

Some teams just have those bugaboos, though. Given the last three visits to UK for the Bulldogs, it looks like their trips up there fall into that category. Were they already looking ahead to Bama? Distracted by off-field issues? I really have no idea.

If it continues, though, so will their slide in these rankings. They’ve built up a ton of equity with most fans, and for good reason. The numbers still really like the team so far, and that Clemson win looks like it will age well for them.

All that said, though, it is, in fact, an assumption at this point that what we saw against Kentucky won’t rear back up at any other point. The Bulldogs have a heck of a schedule coming down the pike, starting with Bama on September 28. They can ill-afford to have another lapse like that.

1 Tennessee Volunteers

Previous ranking: 2

Well, well, well. Josh Heupel has done it again.

Maybe I shouldn’t say “again,” I guess. I don’t think that the previous Vol team we saw in 2022 was even this good.

That has a lot to do with Nico Iamalaeava. The star freshman has led the Vols to the highest points per play mark in the conference, as well as the highest points per drive mark.

The defense needs their fair share of credit as well. That unit for the Big Orange has been absolutely stifling so far this year.

Because of the schedules, I don’t think this will happen, but I’d love to see an SEC championship between Tennessee and Ole Miss. There would certainly be a lot of fireworks!

That schedule is the biggest issue here for the Vols. Games against UGA and Bama loom large—lose one, and you’re teetering; lose two, and you’re pretty much out of the conversation to get to Atlanta.

I don’t see many other pitfalls here for the Vols, though. I think they eviscerate OU this week en route to an eventual playoff berth come December—it’s the SEC championship that’s the biggest question for me through three weeks in Knoxville.

 

 

 

 

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ClubWhatever

ClubWhatever 12,070

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Posted
19 hours ago, Hook1997 said:

I’ve heard a weight dropped on his ankle in the weight room, a shoulder injury from ND, Covid, but this one takes the cake of ridiculousness.  

He did appear to be wincing during throws in warmups at FL.  Who knows.  In any event he's probably done there

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linux

linux 1,380

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Posted (edited)

Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel, predicted points added/rush? are they dividing random statistics and fishing for the numbers they want?

Quote

The Longhorns allowed nearly a yard per carry more than the Roadrunners average, and they themselves earned their worst PPA/rush of the year at 0.028. For context, that’s worse than A&M against Notre Dame, Vanderbilt against Virginia Tech, or Kentucky against Georgia.

 

Edited by linux
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BlueGreySky

BlueGreySky 990

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Beau Vine said:

I'm in Seattle without a computer, so someone else is going to have to post Graham's new power ranking.  A NEW NUMBER ONE!!!

https://gigemgazette.com/posts/power-ranking-the-sec-after-week-3-new-number-one-aggies-rise-in-rankings-01j7w3cxr5s0

 

Mel Brooks Morons GIF

That is some next-level delusion in that article.  Those fucking morons are dumber than a sack of hammers.  Gah! 

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linux

linux 1,380

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Posted
1 minute ago, ClubWhatever said:

Since we are a ground and pound, pass sparingly only to set up the run team, it makes perfect sense to ding us for not scoring off rushing.  Good job.

Its even dumber than that it is in the points predicted category, like you can make the argument that it was not scoring 100 points as the computer models predict and then Nelson Muntz HAHA over that divided by rushing attempts????

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closetojumping

closetojumping 62,010

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No fanbase can throw away a starting QB for the back-up like ATM. It doesn't really get noticed or credited at the national level because ATM has been a middling program for so long and this kind of shit only happens when that kind of program is really down, but it's clear as day for all of us. What I find astonishing about it is how predictable it is. I know Mond was never replaced, which blows my mind, and Johnny Eightball was the man for two years, but I don't recall any other QB making it through their career since maybe Brandon Stewart. 

In this case, Weigman was being touted as recently as ... (checks notes) the week before this season as the best QB in the SEC. Yes, Peter Burns did that on the SEC preseason show and while others on the set showed surprise with that, his take was viewed as credible. There were scouts listing him as a 1st rounder who could actually rise to the top of the board! absurdly. Magazines were listing him as a top 10 national QB. Steele listed him as his 7th QB on the draft board, one behind Ewers. 

So even for the aggie idiots online, there was ample support for their view that Weigman was the real deal. I don't think any of these people looked at the actual performance of the guy and his injury history. They were all just pointing to some stats from a few games and the 5 star ranking and Billy Liucci telling anyone who would listen that Weigman was "Him". 

Then the guy shows up fat, slow, confused and inept against Notre Dame. Quickly, it's as if this scrub was an unknown in need of a rapid discard. They've basically stayed on that tilt as a fanbase. The boards are furious that Weigman is still listed as QB1 on the depth chart. Reed looks like an average dual threat guy that will have his weaknesses picked apart by good defenses as the season moves on. They're willing to simply dump a 5 star that they, and their talking heads, have been touting for 3 straight years. This for some 3 star rando (until he flops and they find someone new again). 

If this 5 star QB out of CA actually signs with them, he should be immediately discounted as the dumbest motherfucker in college football. 

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Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18,611

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31 minutes ago, Vertigo said:

This shit is way too time consuming, but this belongs in the Louvre.

  Hide contents

Power ranking the SEC after College Football week 3: Texas A&M football on the rise as new team claims top spot

Conference play has hardly begun, but the SEC has already been a wild ride this year. This latest batch of games has some fans claiming that Georgia isn't even a top-3 team after their struggles on the road against Kentucky, for example.

ADVERTISING

There's still a lot of football left to play, of course. There are so many teams that have yet to face any challenges—and a couple that have faced nothing but challenges so far.

All that said, let's jump right in and take a look at how the power rankings shake out for the SEC this week.

Power ranking the SEC after week 3: #16 - Mississippi State

16

16 Mississippi State Bulldogs

Previous ranking: 14

I am so sorry, but you cannot lose to Toledo and not come in last on this list, unless someone else somehow lost to Toledo as well. And that’s impossible!

Mississippi State looked like they may have had something going in week one with a relatively competent performance (such as it was) against Eastern kentucky, but whatever momentum might have been there is now completely out the window. It has been replaced with a loss to Toledo.

We have what is, in SEC terms, possibly the pillow fight of the century this weekend when the Bulldogs host the Florida Gators at noon this weekend. I legitimately have no idea how to pick that game.

 

15 Florida Gators

Previous ranking: 15

Here’s the other half of Irrelevancy Bowl 2024, almost in last place—but not quite! The Gators, at least, beat the lower-division team they were supposed to when they took care of business against Samford last week.

This is a team that looks like they have just kind of given up. They showed a little bit of fight after going down 33-7 to take some action against an insanely conservative gameplan, where Texas A&M was clearly just trying to get out of dodge with a backup QB, but there’s way too many qualifiers there to read any sort of optimism into this.

The most interesting question about the Gators at this point is not whether Billy Napier gets canned, but how quickly it happens. If it’s not this week, then surely a loss to Mississippi State would do it, right? And there’s no way a win in Starkville does anything for this program… would it?

We may not have to answer that question. I’m writing this on Sunday night, so it’s entirely possible Napier is gone before I actually get this published.

14 Arkansas Razorbacks

Previous ranking: 12

Meanwhile, here are the Hogs, just humming along after a battle in Stillwater, coming back home to match up against UAB in what should be a snooze-fest—at least, after what we saw out of their offense the first two weeks, it should be. Right?

I don’t think I’m the only one who came into this game with this line of reasoning; hence, many being surprised to see the Blazers going up 17-3 on the Hogs. How’d that happen? Well, Taylen Green all of a sudden didn’t quite look like Cam Newton anymore, basically.

They pulled it out at the end, of course, and this one may well just be a letdown game for Arky. Or maybe a lookahead game as the Hog staff anticipates a trip out to the Plains to take on the Auburn Tigers.

In any case, it’s looking like Bobby P’s magic may not be enough to buoy the Hogs all year. There will, in fact, be down stretches! If you’re an Arkansas fan, you just hope they don’t last long.

They might lose to UCF. I’m sorry, but… there’s a strong possibility this team goes 2-10. That’s partially a function of the schedule, but this kind of thing begins to snowball.

 

13 Vanderbilt Commodores

Previous ranking: 11

 

The proof-of-concept win over Virginia Tech and the followup shellacking of Alcorn State are doing a lot of work to keep the Commodores out of the bottom three here. Losing to Georgia State in Atlanta (which, I would just like to point out, I called as their top trap game in the preseason) is a tough look, even for Vandy.

Still, though, this team shows fight. They roared back to take the lead in the back half of the game after looking abysmal for most of it, and that’s something to build off of. Diego Pavia is still a baller.

Things aren’t getting any easier for the ‘Dores in their quest for bowl eligibility, though. A trip to Missouri comes ahead of a bye week; on the other side, Alabama awaits. Those games have not gone well for Vandy in years past, in case you were wondering.

Right now, Kentucky and Auburn are the best chances this team has to get a couple of SEC wins. Ball State comes to town as well, which should be a win. If they hope to get a bowl berth now, they have to not only beat the Tigers and Wildcats, but find a win against Texas, South Carolina, LSU, or Tennessee.

12 Auburn Tigers

Previous ranking: 13

My opinion of Auburn hasn’t changed at all since their loss to Cal. They changed quarterbacks, in case you didn’t see, shelving Payton Thorne for freshman Hank Brown (let me know which of those is a more Auburn name).

Even so, they struggled to pull away from the New Mexico Lobos. They eventually were able to do so, but not without an inordinate amount of trouble.

I’m just going to need to see more from the Tigers against some legit defenses before they move out of this lower quadrant here. Arkansas will be something of a test, but it’s the visit from Oklahoma that I have my eye on.

Also, in another scheduling quirk, Auburn plays the Sooners on September 28. Their next home game is against Vanderbilt on November 2. I’m not quite sure who let that one slip through, but it’s one of the stranger things I’ve seen on a conference schedule in some time.

11 Kentucky Wildcats

Previous ranking: 16

The Wildcats were in dead last in the previous edition of these rankings, thanks mostly to what appeared to be a complete inability to operate an offense against South Carolina. They’ve somewhat redeemed themselves… but not entirely.

Their biannual scare of Georgia in Lexington once more convened on Saturday, and the Dawgs escaped by one point. That was much more the Kentucky I expected to see this season, if not the Georgia I expected to.

The offensive line looked far more competent, and the defensive line looked much more disruptive. UGA was without star DL Mykel Williams, and the Bulldogs lack the kind of speed rusher that South Carolina has in Dylan Stewart, but it was still an impressive showing by the Cats.

They need to get back on track with a win over the Ohio Bobcats this week before a daunting trip to Ole Miss. Likely wins follow with a home game against Vandy and a trip to the Swamp. 3-1 in the next four would be a heck of a way to break out of your slump.

10 Oklahoma Sooners

Another game from OU still gives me very little confidence that they’ve figured things out. Tulane—admittedly a good G5 team, but a G5 team nonetheless, hung around for way too long here.

The Sooners eventually pulled away thanks to some strong defense and Jackson Arnold carrying the ball, both of which seem like recipes for success this season. But now, things are about to get real for the currently-undefeated Sooners.

The next five games for the Crimson and Cream are as follows: home against Tennessee, at Auburn, Red River, hosting South Carolina, and at Ole Miss. A brief reprieve against Maine precedes the closeout stretch of Missouri, Alabama, and LSU.

It’s extremely possible that that’s only two wins out of nine remaining games. Now, do I think that’s how they finish? No. I think the Sooners can get to seven wins—eight if they beat Texas—but there’s no doubt this is a tough row to hoe. We’ll find out soon what OU is made of.

9 LSU Tigers

Previous ranking: 8

Some may notice that I have LSU ranked below the team they beat on Saturday. Anyone who watched that game, outside of the state of Louisiana, will understand why.

That was a really disappointing game to follow. There were a bevy of 50/50 calls—and some not even that close—that went in the favor of the Tigers to help them win that game, not to mention the opposing quarterback going down with injury after carving them up in the first half.

LSU’s defense is still a gigantic concern. Now, it looks kind of like they’re about to play a team who is a nice remedy for defensive issues in the UCLA Bruins, who have a grand total of 29 points through two games (against Hawaii and Indiana), so maybe that helps them get on track.

There’s still absolutely no excuse for the misuse of Harold Perkins in Blake Baker’s defense, however. Especially now that their best DT is out for the year in Guillory, this is simply a run defense that is too soft. They’re lucky to have two wins so far, and they may need them in order to sniff eight by the end of the season.

8 South Carolina Gamecocks

Previous ranking: 9

And here are the Tigers’ counterparts from this past game. Shane Beamer’s squad deserved a huge, program-changing win on Saturday, and it’s a real shame they didn’t get it after how most of that game went.

But that’s life in the SEC. You have to fight through things like quarterback injuries, and the Gamecocks were unable to do so in this one. After the threat of Sellers was no longer a factor in this one, the LSU defense was able to key in on the Carolina offense, and all but shut them down.

Going forward, though, this is a dangerous team. Carolina has a really, really tough schedule ahead of them—not Florida tough, but what is? Akron will be a nice way to coast into the bye, and pending Sellers’ injury, he could be back by the time Ole Miss comes into town on October 5.

If I’m the Rebels, I’ve got that one circled as a trap game. I don’t know if the Gamecocks will have what it takes to take down the Tide the following week, but OU right after looks very gettable. Win one of those two, and all you need to do to get to a bowl is beat Vandy and Wofford.

7 Missouri Tigers

Previous ranking: 5

The Tigers held onto their top-10 ranking in the AP poll this week, but just barely. Mizzou, after dominating, uh, Buffalo and Murray State, struggled mightily against Boston College—who, to be fair, might be pretty good.

I liked what I saw out of Brady Cook in terms of moxie, but I’m really not convinced he’s a game-changer at quarterback. The run game was questionable as well against a smaller BC front, which will be a storyline to watch in the Tigers’ two big road games—A&M and Alabama.

But you have to feel good about your ace in the hole—Luther Burden. The top-rated receiver in the class of 2022 is continuing to stake out a position as a first-round receiver, with dazzling catches and runs week in and week out.

Theo Wease is a nice second option for the Tigers, but I’m not feeling amazing about their ability to consistently create offense against elite defenses with just those two guys. It’s the Mizzou defense that has overachieved so far, in my book, and the offense hasn’t quite been what I wanted to see.

6 Texas Longhorns

Previous ranking: 7

The Longhorns, sitting at no. 2 in the Coaches’ Poll, are continuing to make a lot of hay with that win over Michigan—one that looks like it will continue to sour with each passing week, after the Wolverines beat Arkansas State by only ten.

The same old issues keep cropping up. Quinn Ewers threw another extremely questionable interception shortly before he exited the game with an abdominal strain. Arch Manning was able to find the talented Longhorn receivers against the UTSA defensive backs for the rest of the game, but rushing acumen on both sides of the ball hasn’t been there.

The Longhorns allowed nearly a yard per carry more than the Roadrunners average, and they themselves earned their worst PPA/rush of the year at 0.028. For context, that’s worse than A&M against Notre Dame, Vanderbilt against Virginia Tech, or Kentucky against Georgia.

The Longhorns have been able to take advantage of overmatched teams and inept offenses so far on defense, putting up impressive numbers in YPA allowed and defensive third down conversion rate. But when they face more capable offensive units, you can’t help but feel that their ineptitude in these facets will end up coming back to bite them.

5 Texas A&M Aggies

Previous ranking: 6

 

After a dominant performance in the Swamp—one that came against the team that, yes, is the occupant of the second-to-last spot in these here rankings—the Aggies are right back on track. Doing it with a backup QB in a road environment isn’t half-bad, either.

The Ags, outside of areas affected by injury, seem like they’ve improved every single week. The QB play wasn’t as good this week as it was the week prior, even adjusting for opponent, but the offensive line more than made up for it.

The Aggies also shored up their rush defense and bottled up the Gators on the ground. Their soft zones in the second half allowed UF to pick some plays up underneath, but it was tough sledding for most of the day for the hometown team.

A&M gets a game against Bowling Green, who just pushed Penn State to the limit, before they head to Dallas for the Southwest Classic. Hopefully, Weigman will be ready to go by the time Missouri rolls into town—I think he should, but you never know with these kinds of injuries.

This is a team that has figured out its identity offensively. The early game against a staunch Notre Dame defense, even though it resulted in a loss, could end up serving the Ags well by the time the season ends.

4 Ole Miss Rebels

Previous ranking: 4

Is it just me, or is Ole Miss beginning to look kind of bored running up all these points on teams? Wake Forest is no doubt the best team they’ve played so far (which should probably tell you a lot about their schedule to this point, but it kind of looked like—dare I say it—that they laid off the gas!

It was still a disgustingly dominant performance statistically, as you’d expect out of a team like Ole Miss against Wake Forest. With Kentucky lagging behind, it’s beginning to seem more and more that the Rebels won’t have a true test until… I don’t know, Georgia on November 9?

Like I said, you have to be careful of trap games, and that trip to Columbia looks more and more like it may be just that. It will be no easy task to get through that one and the ensuing trip to Red Stick, but I can’t help but feel that coming through that stretch unscathed is tantamount to a ticket to the SEC championship game.

This all, of course, is allowing for the fact that injuries may end up playing more of a part than any of us want to see. If the Rebs don’t lose any top contributors, I’m thinking it is pretty likely they end up in Atlanta.

3 Alabama Crimson Tide

Previous ranking: 3

Alabama did what you’re supposed to do against Wisconsin, and in emphatic fashion. Call me crazy, but I think this one ends up just as or more impressive than the Longhorns’ win against Michigan by year’s end.

Now, the Tide get a nice week off before what promises to be the game of the year in Tuscaloosa. Georgia rolls into town on September 28 for what may be an SEC championship—heck, even a playoff—preview early on in the year.

This will be quite the early test for Kalen DeBoer. He looks like he’s figured something out on offense, excepting the South Florida debacle, and it will be interesting to see how that game unfolds, given how unfocused the Bulldogs looked against Kentucky.

The most interesting result, to me, is if the Tide lose at home. That’s an eminently understandable outcome, of course, but I’ll be watching closely to see if there’s any unrest emanating from the Alabama faithful were that result to come to pass. After all, Saban only lost to Kirby once.

2 Georgia Bulldogs

Previous ranking: 1

The Bulldogs lose their grip on the top spot by virtue of their performance against Kentucky. I called it “unfocused,” which I think is a decent word to describe what we saw up in Lexington: the Dawgs, though clearly the more talented team, simply couldn’t get into gear against the Wildcats.

Some teams just have those bugaboos, though. Given the last three visits to UK for the Bulldogs, it looks like their trips up there fall into that category. Were they already looking ahead to Bama? Distracted by off-field issues? I really have no idea.

If it continues, though, so will their slide in these rankings. They’ve built up a ton of equity with most fans, and for good reason. The numbers still really like the team so far, and that Clemson win looks like it will age well for them.

All that said, though, it is, in fact, an assumption at this point that what we saw against Kentucky won’t rear back up at any other point. The Bulldogs have a heck of a schedule coming down the pike, starting with Bama on September 28. They can ill-afford to have another lapse like that.

1 Tennessee Volunteers

Previous ranking: 2

Well, well, well. Josh Heupel has done it again.

Maybe I shouldn’t say “again,” I guess. I don’t think that the previous Vol team we saw in 2022 was even this good.

That has a lot to do with Nico Iamalaeava. The star freshman has led the Vols to the highest points per play mark in the conference, as well as the highest points per drive mark.

The defense needs their fair share of credit as well. That unit for the Big Orange has been absolutely stifling so far this year.

Because of the schedules, I don’t think this will happen, but I’d love to see an SEC championship between Tennessee and Ole Miss. There would certainly be a lot of fireworks!

That schedule is the biggest issue here for the Vols. Games against UGA and Bama loom large—lose one, and you’re teetering; lose two, and you’re pretty much out of the conversation to get to Atlanta.

I don’t see many other pitfalls here for the Vols, though. I think they eviscerate OU this week en route to an eventual playoff berth come December—it’s the SEC championship that’s the biggest question for me through three weeks in Knoxville.

 

 

 

 

Quinn's "extremely questionable interception " which happened after banging his thumb on a DLs arm on his follow-thru while throwing a dart for a TD into a tiny window the previous offensive snap is next level football analysis.  As in from "really bad' to "you have never broken a sweat in an athletic capacity and have no fucking idea what you're talking about " territory.  He banged his thumb and tried to play through it. He airmailed a throw 2-3 feet too high because he couldn't grip it as firmly as he needed to because of it. If Fred Savage's less intimidating looking incel cousin had ever thrown a ball in his life he might know that. Alas he we are. 

I'm sure there's more but that all I felt like reading 

Edited by Dennis Taylor
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Pimphand

Pimphand 5,526

Posted
Posted
20 hours ago, Scholz said:

Take this for what it’s worth but word on the street (via some aggy Sigma Chis I know), is that Weigman got benched for smoking too much weed. Not kidding. Makes more sense than that ridiculous injury BS.

I posted it in the Gator thread that it looks like Weiggy can finally pursue his dream of becoming towlie without that pesky QB1 burden.

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