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MrPhlegm

By MrPhlegm
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Tex Pete

Tex Pete 21487

Posted
Posted
27 minutes ago, Spawn of Cthulhu said:

Someone needs to do some Penthouse forum fanfic combining Candi, Karen, Fred Akers, players' love and respect for Jimbo, and ordinary fans of other programs' testimonials as to how wonderful aggys are when visitors attend a game in the Station.

That's not what this forum is? Penthouse's surly iteration? I've read all of those right here.

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markstanco

markstanco 12786

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, Longboard Horn said:

Funniest shit I’ve read all day

Not really if you think about it.  Aggy has the best and oldest OL in college football and Clemson's D-line is approaching the worst and least seasoned.

QB1 will have all day to pick apart the Clemson DBs.

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Walden Ponderer

Walden Ponderer 12639

Posted
Posted (edited)
34 minutes ago, Harrison Stafford said:

DcrefqzV0AEsNGD.jpg

Somebody got into the mushrooms.

Dude, mushrooms made me think my cover of "Lenny" was something SRV would have approved of. Mushrooms made me think I was hearing an air conditioner in a small-town Louisiana gas station bathroom singing "I dream of Jeannie" at me. Mushrooms gave me an appreciation of fractal art that has lasted my entire lifetime.

But mushrooms have NEVER made me believe anything as delusional as that aggy has a chance in hell against Clemson.

Edited by Walden Ponderer
Grammar, how does it work?
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Scholz

Scholz 12305

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, A’Dam Psycho said:

It’s gonna be rich when reality that Jimbo Fisher is criminally overrated hit them.

This. And it’s going to be even better when Bilbo starts snapping at aggys with his thin skin and fragile ego and they still owe him tens of millions.

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sdm

sdm 929

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, mininghorn88 said:

Stupid. Simply stupid.

I've never seen stupid come so easily and naturally to someone as it does to John Sharp. When it comes to making asinine statements he truly is a master.

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markstanco

markstanco 12786

Posted
Posted
It’s gonna be rich when reality that Jimbo Fisher is criminally overrated hit them.
That wont be for 5+ years with the "wait till next year" crowd.

Winning 7 or 8 games for the next 3 years will start to grind on them, but by then nick will announce his retirement and the clock will reset.

Wash, rinse, repeat.
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Jkwellborn

Jkwellborn 7036

Posted
Posted
That wont be for 5+ years with the "wait till next year" crowd.

Winning 7 or 8 games for the next 3 years will start to grind on them, but by then nick will announce his retirement and the clock will reset.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

Dude, all aggys are the wait till next year crowd.
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Sejjr

Sejjr 3250

Posted
Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, markstanco said:

That wont be for 5+ years with the "wait till next year" crowd.

Winning 7 or 8 games for the next 3 years will start to grind on them, but by then nick will announce his retirement and the clock will reset.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

This is likely very accurate. It is a fun exercise to predict because it really is not hard at all. This season they will get smoked early by Clemson and Bama. Duh. They'll lose to Arky and So Car, but beat someone perceived better, like LSU or maybe win a Bowl. Cue "Wait till Jimbo's SECOND year!" (Hint...it will be the same as this year...AGAIN). This cycle will last 4-5 seasons.

All it takes is beating one of LSU, Bama, or Auburn, and that alone is enough to fuel the coaster for another climb every year. But the Nick Saban retirement will give Jimbo a fucking contract extension.

Edited by Sejjr
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markstanco

markstanco 12786

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Modessit said:

They will convince themselves that Jimbo's 7-5 is MUCH better than Sumlin's 8-4.

Thats $ breakdown would be as follows (not including losses): 

$1,071,428 per win
$267,857 per quarter played
$17,857 per minute played
$297 per second played

Seems like a good deal to me. 

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Randolph Duke

Randolph Duke 4034

Posted
Posted
12 hours ago, markstanco said:

That wont be for 5+ years with the "wait till next year" crowd.

Winning 7 or 8 games for the next 3 years will start to grind on them, but by then nick will announce his retirement and the clock will reset.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

Two of aggy's big problems are

a) the big donors who run the football program are never held accountable for bad decisions and therefore, the same idiots who got them 20 years without being competitive in their conference are still controlling the program

and

b) They have no clue how to set goals to get them from where they are to actually being competitive in their conference.

They look at individual games, hoping to a win of significance to hang their season on when they should be asking themselves what they need to do to get a single year with a winning record in conference play. Then aim for consecutive years with a winning record in conference play. Then try for three in a row.

Programs don't go from not being competitive in conference play for 20 years to playing in the national championship game. It just doesn't happen.

If any of those fuckers really believed in aggy football, they would be hoping Jimbo can just rebuild the program to allow them to compete for their conference title. One SEC title in Jimbo's ten years would be a HUGE accomplishment that would justify his salary. Then leave the program in the hands of someone who can build on that.

But aggy gotta aggy. They don't realize they will have to be able to recruit nationally to build a two-deep roster with sufficient talent to be truly competitive, and as long as they maintain their freak show of a culture, they will never be able to recruit nationally at the levels they need to. Three years in a row with a winning record in SEC play should be what they want from Jimbo over the first five years of his contract. And I will be impressed if he manages to pull that off, but I honestly don't think he has a chance in Hell of doing it.

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texaslong

texaslong 678

Posted
Posted (edited)
31 minutes ago, Randolph Duke said:

Two of aggy's big problems are

a) the big donors who run the football program are never held accountable for bad decisions and therefore, the same idiots who got them 20 years without being competitive in their conference are still controlling the program

and

b) They have no clue how to set goals to get them from where they are to actually being competitive in their conference.

They look at individual games, hoping to a win of significance to hang their season on when they should be asking themselves what they need to do to get a single year with a winning record in conference play. Then aim for consecutive years with a winning record in conference play. Then try for three in a row.

Programs don't go from not being competitive in conference play for 20 years to playing in the national championship game. It just doesn't happen.

If any of those fuckers really believed in aggy football, they would be hoping Jimbo can just rebuild the program to allow them to compete for their conference title. One SEC title in Jimbo's ten years would be a HUGE accomplishment that would justify his salary. Then leave the program in the hands of someone who can build on that.

But aggy gotta aggy. They don't realize they will have to be able to recruit nationally to build a two-deep roster with sufficient talent to be truly competitive, and as long as they maintain their freak show of a culture, they will never be able to recruit nationally at the levels they need to. Three years in a row with a winning record in SEC play should be what they want from Jimbo over the first five years of his contract. And I will be impressed if he manages to pull that off, but I honestly don't think he has a chance in Hell of doing it.

Agreed. They can bring in big pieces, but they have no idea how to put them together. Over the years we've seen them ruin playing and coaching careers cause the expectation is unrealistic. 2003 they hired a head coach away from Alabama, bringing him in to win a national championship. 4 years later his career is ruined. 2008 they hired an NFL coach who was going to come in and put Mack Brown in his place, while bringing a National Championship to the aggy faithful. 3 years later his career is ruined. 2014 they hire the greatest defensive coach in college football away from an SEC powerhouse to finally help win a national championship. 2 years later his career is ruined. Jimbo's story isn't over yet, but I think I know where it's going. It's the same story with different characters. They could ruin Saban's career if they really wanted to by hiring him. 

Edited by texaslong
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Dnaguy

Dnaguy 12628

Posted
Posted
49 minutes ago, Randolph Duke said:

Two of aggy's big problems are

a) the big donors who run the football program are never held accountable for bad decisions and therefore, the same idiots who got them 20 years without being competitive in their conference are still controlling the program

and

b) They have no clue how to set goals to get them from where they are to actually being competitive in their conference.

They look at individual games, hoping to a win of significance to hang their season on when they should be asking themselves what they need to do to get a single year with a winning record in conference play. Then aim for consecutive years with a winning record in conference play. Then try for three in a row.

Programs don't go from not being competitive in conference play for 20 years to playing in the national championship game. It just doesn't happen.

If any of those fuckers really believed in aggy football, they would be hoping Jimbo can just rebuild the program to allow them to compete for their conference title. One SEC title in Jimbo's ten years would be a HUGE accomplishment that would justify his salary. Then leave the program in the hands of someone who can build on that.

But aggy gotta aggy. They don't realize they will have to be able to recruit nationally to build a two-deep roster with sufficient talent to be truly competitive, and as long as they maintain their freak show of a culture, they will never be able to recruit nationally at the levels they need to. Three years in a row with a winning record in SEC play should be what they want from Jimbo over the first five years of his contract. And I will be impressed if he manages to pull that off, but I honestly don't think he has a chance in Hell of doing it.

There are multiple factors that should be in aggy / Jimbo's favor:

The SEC west is in a downwards trend and there are immediate factors that should should help aggy.... hear me out.

1.) Arkansas has a new coach and is rebuilding... they were shit so its going to be awhile

2.) Miss State won't be able to sustain its current level of success IMO and has a new coach

3.) Ole Miss's coach sucks and they can't cheat anymore / have sanctions

4.) LSU's coaching caliber is down. Roster is still talented, but this isn't LSU of old.

That leaves Alabama and Auburn as the top dogs.

If ever aggy is going to post a winning record in the SEC west / the SEC as a whole, it has to be within the next 3-4 years.

 

 

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F250

F250 29200

Posted
Posted
55 minutes ago, Dnaguy said:

There are multiple factors that should be in aggy / Jimbo's favor:

The SEC west is in a downwards trend and there are immediate factors that should should help aggy.... hear me out.

1.) Arkansas has a new coach and is rebuilding... they were shit so its going to be awhile

2.) Miss State won't be able to sustain its current level of success IMO and has a new coach

3.) Ole Miss's coach sucks and they can't cheat anymore / have sanctions

4.) LSU's coaching caliber is down. Roster is still talented, but this isn't LSU of old.

That leaves Alabama and Auburn as the top dogs.

If ever aggy is going to post a winning record in the SEC west / the SEC as a whole, it has to be within the next 3-4 years.

 

 

So, aggy finishes 3rd in the West and 4th in the Conference. Put a plaque on the wall!

 

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Randolph Duke

Randolph Duke 4034

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, texaslong said:

Agreed. They can bring in big pieces, but they have no idea how to put them together.

aggy's big problem is that while they can bring in a few pieces, they can never bring enough big pieces. Their inability to recruit nationally on all but a one-off basis means they always have an identifiable weakness that an opponent can scheme to take advantage of. This year, they have no depth at QB, no defensive secondary and a problem at LB.

The reason I want to see the aggy/Arky game is that I am somewhat sure Chad Morris is going to have a field day with aggy this year. The Clemson and Bama beatdowns will be written off, but if aggy Chad hangs one on Jimbo, I think it will write the script for how every opponent can slap the aggy secondary around.

As I have said many times, aggy is facing a version of the BYU problem - their culture is "outside the mainstream" and demands conformity to unfamiliar norms. Outside of Texas, the big states for talent are California and Florida. Looking at the 2017-2019 classes, aggy has 62 recruits or commits. 4 of those are from Calif/Fla. None this cycle.

Take a look at aggy's QB offers. It isn't pretty. Of all the offers they have out, no one is looking at them. I have no idea who Jimbo thinks he is going to flip, but it isn't anyone he has offered yet. And we all know Jimbo's track record without a top-level QB. https://247sports.com/college/texas-am/Season/2019-Football/Offers

aggy is fucked.

Edited by Randolph Duke
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lemonandaturd

lemonandaturd 4289

Posted
Posted

I remember in 2011 when aggy was ranked by the AP # 7 in week one.  The stars were aligned for that powerhouse program back then too.  Oops, they went 4-5 in conference and regular season 6-6.  Tucker stepped on their throat for all time 27-25.  I love it when the stars align for aggy.  .  By Golly, they really believe they are beating Clemson.  

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Harrison Stafford

Harrison Stafford 3392

Posted
Posted (edited)
20 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Dude, mushrooms made me think my cover of "Lenny" was something SRV would have approved of. Mushrooms made me think I was hearing an air conditioner in a small-town Louisiana gas station bathroom singing "I dream of Jeannie" at me. Mushrooms gave me an appreciation of fractal art that has lasted my entire lifetime.

But mushrooms have NEVER made me believe anything as delusional as that aggy has a chance in hell against Clemson

You don't have the central nervous system of an aggy....or you would have seen buzz cut sheep in formation carrying torches to Kyle Field while ice cream men screamed rituals in the night.  Ultimately, everyone would end up soaked in Busch Light at the Chicken.

Edited by Harrison Stafford
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The Grassy Nole

The Grassy Nole 43

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, Dnaguy said:

There are multiple factors that should be in aggy / Jimbo's favor:

The SEC west is in a downwards trend and there are immediate factors that should should help aggy.... hear me out.

1.) Arkansas has a new coach and is rebuilding... they were shit so its going to be awhile

2.) Miss State won't be able to sustain its current level of success IMO and has a new coach

3.) Ole Miss's coach sucks and they can't cheat anymore / have sanctions

4.) LSU's coaching caliber is down. Roster is still talented, but this isn't LSU of old.

That leaves Alabama and Auburn as the top dogs.

If ever aggy is going to post a winning record in the SEC west / the SEC as a whole, it has to be within the next 3-4 years.

 

 

Honestly everything you said helps them in recruiting (which is probably more important in the grand scheme for their future) Texas really needs to get back to winning again so it can further halt aggy recruiting.  Otherwise I would also throw in that they play South Carolina every year too, I know Muschamp got a lot of criticism while at UF but I always thought he was still learning the ropes there and ultimately met his end at Gainesville.  Muschamp will still get a lot of quality players on his team because he is a great recruiter; so I wouldn't rule out South Carolina giving aggy some fits in the next couple of seasons and beyond.  Otherwise your concern is warranted upon them acquiring good talent, I feel they are primed to do well in that arena; however their current team is going to have some growing pains the next two seasons for sure.  Oddly I can see aggy giving Jimbo a pass if he does mediocre his first two seasons because I can see him doing well in recruiting.  Jimbo will be known as a builder at FSU and was far from a maintainer.  I can see him doing the same at aggy, and peaking around year 4 or 5; however he will regress shortly after (assuming he is still there). 

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