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Tell Me About Texas a&m

MrPhlegm

By MrPhlegm
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Tex Long

Tex Long 4663

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23 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

I honestly cannot tell if this is satire or if this guy truly believes this shit.

Is there so much as an agified rationale which would prevent each case from being true simultaneously?

Sorry, rhetorical only: the answer is, of course, there is not. Ipso facto, Phlegm clearly is doing the heavy lifting for all of us here, and deserves our thanks in whatever form we each may see fit.

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SwanderedTalent

SwanderedTalent 5761

Posted
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38 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

Well, SEC fans are aware of what aggy is like, so even they know this deluded attempt at humor on their part is a fail.

It reminded me of two things. One, when comedy writers try and fail to do comedy from a perspective they don't understand and their heart's not really in. Like, "oh we better make fun of the other side of things, too" and the jokes just feel stilted and lame. Most humor has to have a basis in truth to resonate with people unless you're doing some kind of absurd/dada-ist bit. If you either don't know or won't tell the truth, and your setting is the real world, your jokes are undercut by the fact that they don't make any sense. And/or, the audience can tell you're pulling punches. 

The Simpsons got like this with politics when the show went downhill. SNL and late night TV are like this, too. You don't get the sense that the writers know anyone who actually thinks differently from them and so they're lampooning a caricature and it just feels off. Or SNL trying to poke fun at Obama. If you don't think the subject has any real foibles except being too great to be appreciated, your jokes are going to be Leslie Jones level funny.

Nothing in that sketch resembled any Texas or Aggie fans we knew. A&M was played as the calm, rational straight man in the bit. That's why it was so jarring. The writers didn't understand the people, relational dynamic, or setting they were trying to parody.

Two, when writers start out with a pandering premise that justifies the existence of the piece. A LOT of "oh yeah well conservatives can be funny!" stuff feel like this-- that Kelsey Grammar/Chris Farley's brother movie from ten years ago was like that, like they'd set out to write A Funny Conservative Movie and goddamnit whether they had enough good jokes or not, it was GOING to get made. 

The SEC Shorts guys clearly wanted to make a video Aggies would like, but A&M doesn't have a self-deprecating awareness and doesn't have any positive qualities to explore via humor the way the writers will with the tendency of the SEC's top tier to pout after a 9-3 non-national-championship season. A&M does have a little brother inferiority complex about Texas,  but instead of playing THAT for humor, the SEC Shorts writers decided to pretend that not only didn't it exist but in truth Texas was the needy party in the relationship. 

They could have stopped writing or workshopping after 15 minutes and said "this is going to be fucking lame, let's scrap it", but because they knew they had a guaranteed clickbase in Aggies who would love the video, they kept after it. The result is basically Dear White People for Aggies-- the writers don't actually know any Longhorns but the Aggies have told them enough no problem, they can take it from here.

Just bad. And to top it off, I am betting they know it's bad and rolled with it anyway because Aggies will win an Internet clicking contest if nothing else. Like and subscribe if you think this is funny, Ags!!!!!

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Valmy77

Valmy77 13626

Posted
Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, SwanderedTalent said:

yeah what fucking year is it, again?

file this whole thing under "why A&M is in the SEC"-- if we say we're not interested in playing them, they bleat about "tu is scared of A&M cause we's in the SEC!!!!!", and if we offer to renew the rivalry, they bleat "nope we don't want to play you, cause we's in the SEC and it's so tough!"

No no no. The reason they don't want to play us is because them going SEC destroyed our program and we are desperate for relevancy. The only thing that can save us is A&M. You need to get the A&M narrative right.

Edited by Valmy77
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SwanderedTalent

SwanderedTalent 5761

Posted
Posted
8 minutes ago, Valmy77 said:

No no no. The reason they don't want to play us is because them going SEC destroyed our program and we are desperate for relevancy. The only thing that can save us is A&M. You need to get the A&M narrative right.

well, yeah, there's a lot of different reasons they'll give why they can't, shouldn't, or won't play us

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sushihorn

sushihorn 3249

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, campcrunk said:

This. I watched 35 seconds, determined that it was most definitely not worth my time, and kept scrolling. The small part I did catch was just laughably bad - despite not having anything remotely worth laughing at.

The lack of self-awareness, the penis envy projection and their salty prison bitch routine were all quite laugh worthy IMHO.

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sushihorn

sushihorn 3249

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, Homesickhorn said:


I’m not anywhere close to one of those SEC proponents. That’s aggy’s shtick. “Fuck every SEC team but mine”, is the mentality of myself, and most like me. I’m just busting balls because y’all are one of the few teams we’ve got a recent winning bowl record against, other than Tech. It’s all I’ve really got. I actually cheer for the Pokes when they’re not playing the Rebs or the Horns.

There's no reason you should feel any differently.  Hugh Freeze got fried for things that are standard practice SEC-wide.  The conference protects its big names and piously uses the same things as a pretext to knock down anyone who threatens those names.  It happened to Kentucky when Hal Mumme was there, which sent the Air Raid revolution to the Big XII in the form of Mike Leach instead.

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ButtFumble

ButtFumble 5287

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, US183 said:

FOX News Story says we, The University of TEXAS, are “ELITE”. Surprisingly, no mention of aggy 

https://www.foxnews.com/us/college-entrance-exam-cheating

https://texags.com/forums/5/topics/3025441

aggy too stupid to understand how cheating works or what cheating is suppose to accomplish

it is not exactly cheating when your tennis coach takes money to admit a SHITTY player or even more so a person that does not know fuck about tennis....that is to the detriment of the program not to the benefit

I suppose that explains why their history sucks in all the major sports even though they have been busted by the NCAA so often

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Valmy77

Valmy77 13626

Posted
Posted
18 minutes ago, ButtFumble said:

https://texags.com/forums/5/topics/3025441

aggy too stupid to understand how cheating works or what cheating is suppose to accomplish

it is not exactly cheating when your tennis coach takes money to admit a SHITTY player or even more so a person that does not know fuck about tennis....that is to the detriment of the program not to the benefit

I suppose that explains why their history sucks in all the major sports even though they have been busted by the NCAA so often

They don't care what actually happened. Everything will be adapted to fit their narrative.

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Valmy77

Valmy77 13626

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Posted
2 hours ago, Ghost of Stevie Ray said:

30 seconds on a "You loss to Maryland" Joke

1 minute on a "Deloss Dodd" joke

2 minutes on a "LHN isn't successful" joke

30 seconds on a decent "Oklahoma wins the Big 12 every year" joke

I mean they are not wrong. We did lose to Maryland. Deloss Dodds did suck (IMO). And OU does win the fucking Big 12 every year. But...and? It is not  like they do not have shitloads of loses, shitty administrators, and they haven't won a conference title this century. Those are weird things for them to gloat about.

As for the LHN, well I think it is God's personal gift to me. I have no idea how "successful" it is (though why ESPN thought anybody would care but UT fans is their own fault).

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Leanderman

Leanderman 2367

Posted
Posted

I bet Blinn JC would be caught cheating before those dong drinkers. Kinda funny that Hollywood is not sending their kids to collie station for an elite education.   I guess chicken farming is not a successful career move  in the Hollywood Hills? With the exception of Vandy, what other $EC School is considered elite then?

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Go Pokes

Go Pokes 979

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I’m not anywhere close to one of those SEC proponents. That’s aggy’s shtick. “Fuck every SEC team but mine”, is the mentality of myself, and most like me. I’m just busting balls because y’all are one of the few teams we’ve got a recent winning bowl record against, other than Tech. It’s all I’ve really got. I actually cheer for the Pokes when they’re not playing the Rebs or the Horns.


Glad we can provide a service.
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SwanderedTalent

SwanderedTalent 5761

Posted
Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, Valmy77 said:

As for the LHN, well I think it is God's personal gift to me. I have no idea how "successful" it is (though why ESPN thought anybody would care but UT fans is their own fault).

It pays us as much or more for our third-tier rights as anyone else gets = success in my opinion. Someone else said it further upthread, how much of a brokeass do you have to be to NOT get it in 2019 if you want it? It's not 2011 anymore. It's like saying the Big Ten Network is a failure because no one had it in 2007.

And if you don't want it, you're not the target audience for Texas volleyball or "1963"-style retrospectives anyway, so I'm not really sure how it's some big failure that our third-tier content isn't part of basic cable in Sarasota or Syracuse. That was never part of UT/ESPN's plan for the network-- we'd take it where we can get it but LHN was always going to be part of secondary cable packages out of region. Fucking DUH. 

"LHN is a failure" is a non-starter for me conversationally, like "the earth is flat" or "I support reparations" or "I'm not gay or nothin but I would like to put my hand down your pants, WHOOP". It means you're a fucking idiot.

 

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MrPhlegm

MrPhlegm 3413

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yeah what fucking year is it, again?
file this whole thing under "why A&M is in the SEC"-- if we say we're not interested in playing them, they bleat about "tu is scared of A&M cause we's in the SEC!!!!!", and if we offer to renew the rivalry, they bleat "nope we don't want to play you, cause we's in the SEC and it's so tough!"
You 'member the bestestest whut thay taut youse at fish camp an respew it real good.

Good job aggy.
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MrPhlegm

MrPhlegm 3413

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It reminded me of two things. One, when comedy writers try and fail to do comedy from a perspective they don't understand and their heart's not really in. Like, "oh we better make fun of the other side of things, too" and the jokes just feel stilted and lame. Most humor has to have a basis in truth to resonate with people unless you're doing some kind of absurd/dada-ist bit. If you either don't know or won't tell the truth, and your setting is the real world, your jokes are undercut by the fact that they don't make any sense. And/or, the audience can tell you're pulling punches. 
The Simpsons got like this with politics when the show went downhill. SNL and late night TV are like this, too. You don't get the sense that the writers know anyone who actually thinks differently from them and so they're lampooning a caricature and it just feels off. Or SNL trying to poke fun at Obama. If you don't think the subject has any real foibles except being too great to be appreciated, your jokes are going to be Leslie Jones level funny.
Nothing in that sketch resembled any Texas or Aggie fans we knew. A&M was played as the calm, rational straight man in the bit. That's why it was so jarring. The writers didn't understand the people, relational dynamic, or setting they were trying to parody.
Two, when writers start out with a pandering premise that justifies the existence of the piece. A LOT of "oh yeah well conservatives can be funny!" stuff feel like this-- that Kelsey Grammar/Chris Farley's brother movie from ten years ago was like that, like they'd set out to write A Funny Conservative Movie and goddamnit whether they had enough good jokes or not, it was GOING to get made. 
The SEC Shorts guys clearly wanted to make a video Aggies would like, but A&M doesn't have a self-deprecating awareness and doesn't have any positive qualities to explore via humor the way the writers will with the tendency of the SEC's top tier to pout after a 9-3 non-national-championship season. A&M does have a little brother inferiority complex about Texas,  but instead of playing THAT for humor, the SEC Shorts writers decided to pretend that not only didn't it exist but in truth Texas was the needy party in the relationship. 
They could have stopped writing or workshopping after 15 minutes and said "this is going to be fucking lame, let's scrap it", but because they knew they had a guaranteed clickbase in Aggies who would love the video, they kept after it. The result is basically Dear White People for Aggies-- the writers don't actually know any Longhorns but the Aggies have told them enough no problem, they can take it from here.
Just bad. And to top it off, I am betting they know it's bad and rolled with it anyway because Aggies will win an Internet clicking contest if nothing else. Like and subscribe if you think this is funny, Ags!!!!!
c1d36610b08be7109052cf94e19a0459.jpg56ab8fd644b4d9dacf79316cb451434b.jpg

9a2012e5814038296711f1728275338d.gifa50d960d1f903d521a6a728585c9e711.jpg7942fb0e3f8acb587497c71de2f56bde.jpg
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MrPhlegm

MrPhlegm 3413

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well, yeah, there's a lot of different reasons they'll give why they can't, shouldn't, or won't play us
they? you can say tu on here, we don't give a shit.

us? aggy.

You don't have to change up what you larneded in fish camp when you regurgitate it on here aggy boy.
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MrPhlegm

MrPhlegm 3413

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It pays us as much or more for our third-tier rights as anyone else gets = success in my opinion. Someone else said it further upthread, how much of a brokeass do you have to be to NOT get it in 2019 if you want it? It's not 2011 anymore. It's like saying the Big Ten Network is a failure because no one had it in 2007.
And if you don't want it, you're not the target audience for Texas volleyball or "1963"-style retrospectives anyway, so I'm not really sure how it's some big failure that our third-tier content isn't part of basic cable in Sarasota or Syracuse. That was never part of UT/ESPN's plan for the network-- we'd take it where we can get it but LHN was always going to be part of secondary cable packages out of region. Fucking DUH. 
"LHN is a failure" is a non-starter for me conversationally, like "the earth is flat" or "I support reparations" or "I'm not gay or nothin but I would like to put my hand down your pants, WHOOP". It means you're a fucking idiot.
 
Well at least there fucking mr incel aggy boy.
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mininghorn88

mininghorn88 2336

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Leanderman said:

I bet Blinn JC would be caught cheating before those dong drinkers. Kinda funny that Hollywood is not sending their kids to collie station for an elite education.   I guess chicken farming is not a successful career move  in the Hollywood Hills? With the exception of Vandy, what other $EC School is considered elite then?

You have answered your own questions.

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bigbopper

bigbopper 4

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:

 

I cannot believe Daniel is still at it after getting exposed and ruining his name in such epic fashion. He was also recently discovered on the SECrant website under the name of texag7. 

Its baffling. He truly cannot help himself.

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SwanderedTalent

SwanderedTalent 5761

Posted
Posted

And lastly, since he's playing the imagination game, I'll venture that we probably would have broken even if replay had somehow magically been involved. For every game where we got the benefit of a call from the homosexual communist officials helping liberal t.u. destroy Amurca from within by winning football games, there's probably a game where a critical call didn't go our way and cost us.

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mininghorn88

mininghorn88 2336

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Posted

I am presently in Perth, Australia on business.  This afternoon I was in the CBD getting a bit of exercise.  I had stopped at the street crossing waiting to cross when a guy approached me and asked if I were a Longhorn.  Being that I had a UT shirt on I naturally replied "yes".  He in turns extends his hand and announces that he is an aggy.  I shake his hand and say, "You have my condolences".

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SwanderedTalent

SwanderedTalent 5761

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Posted
15 minutes ago, mininghorn88 said:

I am presently in Perth, Australia on business.  This afternoon I was in the CBD getting a bit of exercise.  I had stopped at the street crossing waiting to cross when a guy approached me and asked if I were a Longhorn.  Being that I had a UT shirt on I naturally replied "yes".  He in turns extends his hand and announces that he is an aggy.  I shake his hand and say, "You have my condolences".

You stopped at a street crossing, shook hands with an Aggie, and didn't push him into traffic? fucking t-shirt fan

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