Kid Rock (and Bud Light slap-fight) y’all

[Gil Bang 26231]

 

 

Edited June 7, 2023 by Gil Bang

[Dr. Teeth 5868]

A lot of terrible entertainers are really leaning into anti cancel culture. We didn’t cancel them recently. The free market cancelled them sometime in the 2000s. 

[Biff Tannen 46158]

Not a chance in hell I’m clicking that. 

[Mrs Whiggins 13050]

That singer's user name does NOT check out.

[Poolflood 845]

Spoiler

Fuck all you hoes
Detroit till I die motherfucker
Talking all that bullshit
Ain't nobody gonna tell me how to live

I'm a moonshine sipper straight slipping into darkness
Far from harmless, I'm more like the sharpest
Tool in the shed, no I never been the smartest
Well, make no mistake, I hit the fucking hardest
Devil without a cause, you heard me screaming
And twenty years later, bitch I still fucking mean it
Motherfucker you ain't never met a motherfucker like this
Kiss my ass and you can suck a dick, sideways
My way or the highway, listen up
Ain't nothing changed here, I still don't give a fuck
So what the fuck's up with all the backlash
You snowflakes, here's a newsflash

Ain't nobody gonna tell me how to live

Years ago, we all thought it was a joke, see?
That every kid got a motherfucking trophy
But yo homie, here's a situation
A nation of pussies is our next generation
And these minions and their agendas
Every opinion has a millennial offended
But this amendment one, it rings true
And if it don't descend bitch, then see number two
Ain't nothing new, right church, wrong pew
Get a clue or prove your fake news and views
Can all kick the bottom of my motherfucking shoe
I'm the last of a few still screaming fuck you

Ain't nobody gonna tell me how to live
Ain't nobody gonna tell me how to live

Oh, gonna soar like an eagle
My wings will carry me away
I've got the heart of a lion
And I get stronger every day

You never tell me shit, you never flip my script
Because I'm more outrageous than the Vegas strip
You're like Mayberry bitch, I'm hard and crisp
High risk hillbilly but I'm filthy rich
You're like Milli Vanilli, kinda silly and shit
I'm like Shotgun Willy smoking fillies and shit
I'm like Reverend Ron or David Lee Roth
Like Springsteen bitch, I'm the motherfucking boss
James Dean, shit, I'm more like Brad Pitt
A little less pretty but I sling more dick
I twang more riffs, I slide through grass
I rip more lines than a ten pound bass
Pass the mic, I'm like sloe gin fizz
And ain't nobody, and ain't nobody

Ain't nobody gonna tell me how to live

Billy fucking Shakespeare motherfuckers.

[CooterBrown 18287]

I still like the first Rolling Stone article on him when the reporter visited Kid Rock’s dad’s house. His dad was like “This is the 8,000 square foot lake front house my street gangster son grew up in.”

[jimmyjazz 47135]

I'm pretty sure he wasn't looking for laughs, but that's what he's getting.  Good job, Bob.

[Neonmoon 38130]

“A nation of pussies is our next generation”

Old man says get off my lawn. Same as it ever was. 

[SmokeyTheBear 5569]

1 hour ago, Dr. Teeth said:

A lot of terrible entertainers are really leaning into anti cancel culture. We didn’t cancel them recently. The free market cancelled them sometime in the 2000s. 

They're trying to cancel, cancel culture

[mchookem 16765]

🤣

[F250 29199]

2 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

 

Damn that looked exactly like an SNL music video. The only thing missing was Pete Davidson.

Shit, I am going to watch that again for the lulz.

 

[956 Worldwide 35591]

This dude isn't making a bad play. He will never sniff mainstream appeal again and so he's going for an audience that will like anything you do, as long as you're owning the libs. He will make far more money with this than if he tried to make a "good" Kid Rock record. 

[Underdog 29165]

Like Detroit hasn’t suffered enough already with the Lions they have to deal with this guy.  

[Blotto 24011]

2 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

This dude isn't making a bad play. He will never sniff mainstream appeal again and so he's going for an audience that will like anything you do, as long as you're owning the libs. He will make far more money with this than if he tried to make a "good" Kid Rock record. 

Agreed. Why should he leave all the grifting to fat fuck Donald and friends?. Unless he somehow forces his way onto my Spotify playlist, it's not like I have to listen to any of his bullshit.

Edited November 22, 2021 by Blotto

[Chooky 13340]

2 hours ago, Underdog said:

Like Detroit hasn’t suffered enough already with the Lions they have to deal with this guy.  

Narrator:  He wasn't even from Detroit.

[brown water 3788]

2 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

This dude isn't making a bad play. He will never sniff mainstream appeal again and so he's going for an audience that will like anything you do, as long as you're owning the libs. He will make far more money with this than if he tried to make a "good" Kid Rock record. 

He’s moved on to finding Gulf Coast pussy for his Detroit playas 

[Goredho 17650]

3 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

This dude isn't making a bad play. He will never sniff mainstream appeal again and so he's going for an audience that will like anything you do, as long as you're owning the libs. He will make far more money with this than if he tried to make a "good" Kid Rock record. 

You are right.  Rage Against The Mainstream Is going to sell really fucking well with the Trumpy cunter-culture.  I wonder long till we get Whitesploitation films?

[BrazilHorn 6835]

He’s morphing into Ted Nugent. There’s money to be made on the NASCAR, state fair circuit. 

[HornOnTheBayou 9062]

 

[Chooky 13340]

The Port Aransas School Board will petition for this song to become the new National Anthem and K through 12 will have to recite it daily while fighting in flip flops.

[Underdog 29165]

1 hour ago, Chooky said:

Narrator:  He wasn't even from Detroit.

So he’s no Jerome Bettis, then? 

[Dr. Teeth 5868]

20 minutes ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

 

Someone already made the Mike Lindell joke. 

Edited November 22, 2021 by Dr. Teeth

[HornOnTheBayou 9062]

Well now I feel bad. I'm going to go cry into mypillow.

[smuggs 9397]

Is his pal Douchebag Darrell a musician of note or a repair tech he recruited from Guitar Center?

[Mrs Whiggins 13050]

1 hour ago, Goredho said:

You are right.  Rage Against The Mainstream Is going to sell really fucking well with the Trumpy cunter-culture.  I wonder long till we get Whitesploitation films?

 I believe that genre is called Honkywood.

[Bullneck 19514]

This is a much better thread than I expected.

[crash_davis 23468]

uneducated, trash, hickville motherfuckers. he knows his audience. wearing a thick gangsta gold chain surrounded by old white trash dudes is a nice touch.

[Goredho 17650]

There is no stronger set of data points showing the decline of working class white America than Allman Brothers -> Lynyrd Skynyrd -> Bro Country -> Kid Rock’s MAGA revival.

[956 Worldwide 35591]

35 minutes ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

 I believe that genre is called Honkywood.

Who's the white underemployed hick,

An incel with all the chicks? (Shafted)

Damn right.

[Goredho 17650]

5 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

Who's the white underemployed hick,

An incel with all the chicks? (Shafted)

Damn right.

Oh, you really need to flesh this out more.

[crash_davis 23468]

7 minutes ago, Goredho said:

There is no stronger set of data points showing the decline of working class white America than Allman Brothers -> Lynyrd Skynyrd -> Bro Country -> Kid Rock’s MAGA revival.

In fairness, it's a response to BLM. Can't have one side of the coin without the other.

Everybody's pissed. Everybody has an agenda. One side is zealously woke. The other side is zealously anti-woke, woke.

[956 Worldwide 35591]

8 minutes ago, Goredho said:

Oh, you really need to flesh this out more.

Who's in the Klan and who's a MAGA man? (Shafted)

Can you dig it?

Who's the Q-Anon who hides, when the Feds burst inside? (Shafted)

You see this dick Shafted is a redneck pus....(Shut your mouth!)

But I'm talking bout Shafted! (Then we can dig it)

He's not a complex man, we all understand, why he ain't got a woman (Shafted)

[Chad Fuck 18134]

22 minutes ago, Goredho said:

There is no stronger set of data points showing the decline of working class white America than Allman Brothers -> Lynyrd Skynyrd -> .38 Special -> Bro Country -> Kid Rock’s MAGA revival.

Fify.  I'll grant you 3/4 of those.  But Allman Brothers is just too damn far, man. 

[Goredho 17650]

5 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

Who's in the Klan and who's a MAGA man? (Shafted)

Can you dig it?

Who's the Q-Anon who hides, when the Feds burst inside? (Shafted)

You see this dick Shafted is a redneck pus....(Shut your mouth!)

But I'm talking bout Shafted! (Then we can dig it)

He's not a complex man, we all understand, why he ain't got a woman (Shafted)

Now do some Cletus Mayfield “Superfly” soundtrack.

[Chad Fuck 18134]

Just now, Goredho said:

Now do some Cletus Mayfield “Superfly” soundtrack.

Cletus Mayfield would be an awesome Bro Country band name.

[Chooky 13340]

Ted Cruz is mistakenly thinking about getting a tattoo on the small of his back that says "suck a dick sideways" so he can blend in with the commoners. 

[Chooky 13340]

I think it's wise to avoid falling into the "younger generation are pussies" trope.  Guys about ten years younger than me commonly did three or five tours of duty in a foreign war.  I don't really feel inclined to tell them what a bunch of whiny twats they are.  Two tours was astounding for Vietnam.  And speaking of Vietnam, should we tell all of those guys to fuck off on Veteran's Day because we don't hand out "participation trophies?"  And aren't millennials like well over the age of thirty by now?  The laundry list of why Kid (middle-aged) Rock's song is fucking stupid is way too long.  And who canceled Congresswoman Liz Cheney?  Again, these questions could go on and on and on.  

[Beau Vine 55862]

14 hours ago, jimmyjazz said:

I'm pretty sure he wasn't looking for laughs, but that's what he's getting.  Good job, Bob.

Tucker will play this on his show tonight, and it will be the #1 record in the country by tomorrow morning.

[Dr. Teeth 5868]

4 hours ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Well now I feel bad. I'm going to go cry into mypillow.

Ha. No, I had made the joke and saw that it was already in the tweet. So the first one was funnier, hence my edit. 

[Pescado_Rojo 19583]

Hahaha...wow...that's...spectacular. I've seen better production from a Middle School Football hype video. 

[crash_davis 23468]

16 minutes ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

Hahaha...wow...that's...spectacular. I've seen better production from a Middle School Football hype video. 

this is the best middle school football hype video evah! which is the same vibe i'm getting for old man rock's video.

 

[MissingInAction 25555]

5 hours ago, Chooky said:

The Port Aransas School Board will petition for this song to become the new National Anthem and K through 12 will have to recite it daily while fighting in flip flops.

And it will be played on the Juke box at Shortys every 10 minutes.

[jimmyjazz 47135]

The two things I love most about "Raise Up" (and there are so many) are the way 12th Man is so sloppy that he can't even land "Bryan" on the downbeat after the helicopter line, and then later his flow is seemingly interrupted by an asthma attack.  Bonus material:  other dude contributes nothing but the truck and the Pioneer tape deck.

[Beau Vine 55862]

2 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

The two things I love most about "Raise Up" (and there are so many) are the way 12th Man is so sloppy that he can't even land "Bryan" on the downbeat after the helicopter line, and then later his flow is seemingly interrupted by an asthma attack.  Bonus material:  other dude contributes nothing but the truck and the Pioneer tape deck.

That Pioneer tape deck is the star of the video.  I wonder if he has Sparkomatic speakers?

[atomheartbevo 90638]

20 hours ago, Neonmoon said:

“A nation of pussies is our next generation”

Old man says get off my lawn. Same as it ever was. 

After 9/11, plenty of 18 year olds and on up into 30-somethings joined the military.

Didn't see Kid Rock out there sticking his neck out.

[Gil Bang 26231]

 

[Pam Cummings 9868]

22 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

 

Lmfao i cant breathe im laughing so hard at the random dude saying "aint nooooobody gonna tell me how to liiiiii-i-ive", it literally sounds like South Park 🤣🤣

Edited November 23, 2021 by Pam Cummings

[hpslugga 4097]

Someone needs to take Pebbles to McDonald’s so he can get a whaburger and French cries. Maybe a Whineicken too. 

[miguelito 11501]

This will be played at Kid Rock's first inauguration.

[mchookem 16765]

1 hour ago, miguelito said:

This will be played at Kid Rock's first inauguration.

i mean...