Kid Rock (and Bud Light slap-fight) y’all

['stache 21,564]

Uh oh, I guess all the maga tools gonna start using Ask Jeeves? Kid Rock gonna shoot up his laptop?

Edited May 22, 2023 by 'stache

[Born to Run 6,313]

Listen, Lobo... if you market and manufacture Muff beer, I'll be your first customer

Delicious fresh, but gets skunky if it sits around to long, amirite?

[HamsterHookah 112]

3 hours ago, longhornmatt said:

Also, these people don't really fucking care.  They will go back to Bud Light at some point.  Even their outrage isn't really lasting or in good faith.

Yes. It's the same people who were mad that their favorite syrup got woke-ified but now happily drink Pearl Milling Company Syrup on their powdered mix pancakes.

['stache 21,564]

4 minutes ago, Born to Run said:

21 minutes ago, safe sex said:

Listen, Lobo... if you market and manufacture Muff beer, I'll be your first customer

Delicious fresh, but gets skunky if it sits around to long, amirite?

Someone's already on it.

[YGIFS 19,445]

I think you could say that regarding just about anything.  

Can you imagine unlimited Muff Lite on tap?  Just there waiting for you after a long day?  Like Duff, but Muff.  I'm surprised  we're not having a Muff Lite right now?    

He had one good song almost 25 years ago.  He screwed Pamela Anderson, who hasn't?  And then to impress Donald Trump, he shot up a stack of Bud Light cans.  And if Trump is elected, he is probably going to be the Ambassador to the U.N.  If I had told y'all any of this 7 years ago, you would had me committed and rightfully so.  It's not even fun to game out what's to happen tomorrow in Loboland, 'cause it never fucking lives up.  Every stupidly silly satirical dialogue I make up on here ends up paling in comparison to what happens in real life.   

Kid Rock is gonna find an offspring of that Bud Light dog from the 1980's and I don't wanna know what happens next. 

[safe sex 11,608]

55 minutes ago, Born to Run said:

1 hour ago, safe sex said:

Listen, Lobo... if you market and manufacture Muff beer, I'll be your first customer

Delicious fresh, but gets skunky if it sits around to long, amirite?

That's just Muff IPA

eta: I want to add that, during my course in life as a trauma nurse, I saw way worse dick hygiene among the general population as compared to vaginal hygiene. And that has carried through in my course in life as a sex nurse.

PPS - filthy dicks are generally the cause of "smelly" vaginas. So clean your fucking junk, dudes

Edited May 22, 2023 by safe sex

[TwiceHorn 30,850]

6 minutes ago, safe sex said:

That's just Muff IPA

eta: I want to add that, during my course in life as a trauma nurse, I saw way worse dick hygiene among the general population as compared to vaginal hygiene. And that has carried through in my course in life as a sex nurse.

PPS - filthy dicks are generally the cause of "smelly" vaginas. So clean your fucking junk, dudes

Also

[safe sex 11,608]

Invest in a bidet, and never have to wipe another day in your life

[HenryJames 65,525]

[safe sex 11,608]

Ehhhhh, I've used it. It's fine I guess, but unimpressed overall.

[YGIFS 19,445]

I mean yeah, if you have to use the same stick---underboob, vulva, butt, and feet is the most hygienic order.  But nobody talks about what happens with the product on Tuesday.  

[Born to Run 6,313]

That's just Muff IPA
eta: I want to add that, during my course in life as a trauma nurse, I saw way worse dick hygiene among the general population as compared to vaginal hygiene. And that has carried through in my course in life as a sex nurse.
PPS - filthy dicks are generally the cause of "smelly" vaginas. So clean your fucking junk, dudes

That's my understanding as well, iirc bacterial vagenosis often is caused by another women's vaginal fauna* being introduced via a dirty dick. And dirty dicks cause UTI infections.

Wasn't meaning to cast stones at vaginas, I'm a huge fan. I start each day with a freshly washed pecker, or johnson in the parlance of our times, over time in the Texas heat, that shit gets funky.

*Vaginal Fauna opened for L7 on the 93 tour iirc.


Typical derail on the Kid Rock thread I suppose.

[YGIFS 19,445]

I love that we're talking about genital hygiene on a thread about the one guy that I'm pretty sure has never washed his dick in his life as part of his "persona"  

Shit, even Trump washes his dick.  But only because even he knows that everybody washes mushrooms when you get home with 'em.  

[Bozo_Casanova 25,874]

3 minutes ago, Born to Run said:

*Vaginal Fauna opened for L7 on the 93 tour iirc.

That Tanya Donnelly just never ran out of side projects, did she?

[HenryJames 65,525]

So take your hat off boy
When you're talking to me
And be there when I feed the tree

[Born to Run 6,313]

That Tanya Donnelly just never ran out of side projects, did she?

Went with a girlfriend in 93? to see Belly at maybe the Vatican. So hot, Tanya, not the girlfriend, it's hard Not to be vanilla at 17. My car was not broken into that night as I left the windows down after learning the hard way at find establishments like Katal Hyuk, Numbers, Fitz.

No tampons were tossed around to my knowledge either, at that particular show, unlike the Cougar High show were Snow got jumped.

[TwiceHorn 30,850]

9 minutes ago, Born to Run said:

Went with a girlfriend in 93? to see Belly at maybe the Vatican. So hot, Tanya, not the girlfriend, it's hard Not to be vanilla at 17. My car was not broken into that night as I left the windows down after learning the hard way at find establishments like Katal Hyuk, Numbers, Fitz.

No tampons were tossed around to my knowledge either, at that particular show, unlike the Cougar High show were Snow got jumped.

Bricks are heavy when you're on the shit list and pretend that you're dead.

Edited May 23, 2023 by TwiceHorn

[Born to Run 6,313]

Bricks are heavy when you're on the shit list and pretend that you're dead.

Cramping styles is the plan
They got us in the palm of every hand.


Better than anything Kid put out to keep us right on topic.

[tx 3 putt 75,474]

8 hours ago, Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand said:

What if they recalibrate the piss content?

[Gil Bang 25,651]

4 hours ago, YGIFS said:

I mean yeah, if you have to use the same stick---underboob, vulva, butt, and feet is the most hygienic order.  But nobody talks about what happens with the product on Tuesday.  

motherfucker...you think your feet are dirtier than your butthole?  

[YGIFS 19,445]

Cleaner than your underboob, dude.  
 

I keep my balls and butthole commercial kitchen grade.  My feet are a fucking disaster.  Goofy shape, talon thick nails, and I regularly spend time outdoors barefoot as a spiritual exercise, as such they are godawful filthy.  And the skin on my heels could take off rust. 
 

I have the podiatry equivalent of Kid rock hammer time MTG feet.  

Edited May 23, 2023 by YGIFS

[DalTxHornFan 3,071]

4 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

 My feet are a fucking disaster.  Goofy shape, talon thick nails, and I regularly spend time outdoors barefoot as a spiritual exercise, as such they are godawful filthy.  And the skin on my heels could take off rust. 

Long lost brother?  I'm not sure exactly when all of that stuff started happening.  Then one day...I noticed.

[Bama Chick 28,595]

Jesus.

Go get a pedicure, fellas.

Ya ain’t got to get polish.

Also, truly thick/crusty/calloused heels and skin could be a sign of an underlying health issue.

Bama Chick’s Tips for healthy and sexy feet-

-Monthly pedicures
-Buy a pumice stone stick and use weekly in the shower on your heels, sides and the balls of your feet.

-Buy some cuticle oil and use on the cuticles of your toes after you shower. This is my favorite-

-Once a week, slather your feet in a hydrating foot cream and then put on moisturizing socks and sleep with them on.

This is my favorite foot cream and it even comes with a smoothing board!


Your feet - and the women who share your bed - will thank you!

[Underdog 28,219]

[DigglerontheHoof 20,561]

Damn Lobo, that's....nasty.  Agree w/ Bama Chick, get a pedicure.  I get one monthly and it comes w/ a foot and calf massage.  

[YGIFS 19,445]

Oh, I clean and cut my toenails 2x/month.  Precisely because they grow back so thick.  I scrub them 5-6x/week as well.  They're cleaner than most men's feet in the germ/dirt sense.  They're just ugly as shit and discolored from years of heavy tread outside.  If you did whatever kinda "scan" of them, they'd come back upper 3rd of cleanliness, then you'd move the device outta the way and see them with the naked eye and faint.  

By the way, this is all covered in Kid Rock's next documentary.  

[Ten Bears 2,441]

It's my soap and my dick and I will wash it just as fast as I want.

[YGIFS 19,445]

I bet $50 and one of my toes that Kid Rock and Marjorie Taylor Green have sucked on one another's toe at some point.  

[HamsterHookah 112]

Plot twist: It's not just the rednecks and MAGAs who are hurting Bud Light, but also the LGTbq community. They are being squeezed on both sides:

Quote

 

Calls to boycott companies usually fade pretty quickly, but Bud Light has seen six straight weeks of declining sales since its controversial partnership with trans influencer Dylan Mulvaney, and brands are nervous.

But the beer’s 26% drop in sales for the week ending May 20 (its worst week ever, according to the NY Post) could be attributed to the brand also angering the LGBTQ community and its allies with how it responded to the pushback—something other brands have also done by opting to abandon or alter Pride campaigns at the first sign of trouble.

Even so…most companies are still planning to move forward with Pride plans. Coors Light is the main sponsor for Denver’s Pride Parade. And Levi’s and Adidas will also run ads prominently featuring gay and trans models wearing and talking about their products.

 

 

[Gil Bang 25,651]

and Modelo is taking Bud Light's place at the head of the table, and they owned by the same company. 

[Blotto 23,286]

5 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

and Modelo is taking Bud Light's place at the head of the table, and they owned by the same company. 

Checkmate libtards

[jimmyjazz 45,192]

13 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

and Modelo is taking Bud Light's place at the head of the table, and they owned by the same company. 

Reminds me of Wilco purchasing the rights to Yankee Hotel Foxtrot from Reprise Records and releasing it on Nonesuch Records, for a bigger payday, all under the Warner Brothers umbrella.  Well done, media gurus.

[tchookem 3,895]

and Modelo is taking Bud Light's place at the head of the table, and they owned by the same company. 

Wait, you're telling me that it's only a few companies that are actually responsible for all this shitty beer?

[Gil Bang 25,651]

oh yeah, it's all shitty beer.  It's awful.  Your town has a lovely brewery that makes a great pumpernickel stout that's SO much better than Bud Light or Modelo. They sell 1/100 of 1 percent of what the local bodega sells in bud light, but IT'S SO MUCH BETTER!!!!

[aggie08 20,480]

10 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

oh yeah, it's all shitty beer.  It's awful.  Your town has a lovely brewery that makes a great pumpernickel stout that's SO much better than Bud Light or Modelo. They sell 1/100 of 1 percent of what the local bodega sells in bud light, but IT'S SO MUCH BETTER!!!!

God damn it, Gil. Don’t die on this hill. 

[Your Mom 4,762]

On 5/22/2023 at 3:44 PM, safe sex said:

Invest in a bidet, and never have to wipe another day in your life

Umm.. so we’re just gonna let this comment go?  

As the owner of a high pressure industrial strength bidet and also a strong personal commitment to having an immaculate bung… NO.  You still gotta wipe, preferably with those wet wipes that piss off the guy who works at the water treatment plant.  You cannot convince me that your bidet is strong enough to get it white-glove-inspection clean, so to speak.  

[NameAlreadyInUse 5,092]

On 5/22/2023 at 10:40 AM, Gil Bang said:

I was down in the Keys for a couple of weeks.  One particularly hot day, I walked up to a waterfront patio bar (aren't they all down there) that had the temp readings on the taps.  The bud light tap ran 35 degrees.   Bartender says what'll you have?  I say Bud Light.  He says "bottle or draft"?  I say "draft". 

He says "yeah, since the trans thing, everybody orders draft. Nobody wants a bud light bottle in front of them". 

 

When given the choice between bottle and draft, what person in their right mind would choose bottled?

On 5/22/2023 at 5:32 PM, safe sex said:

That's just Muff IPA

eta: I want to add that, during my course in life as a trauma nurse, I saw way worse dick hygiene among the general population as compared to vaginal hygiene. And that has carried through in my course in life as a sex nurse.

PPS - filthy dicks are generally the cause of "smelly" vaginas. So clean your fucking junk, dudes

My junk is clean, but also never let it be said that even if it wasn't, I was responsible for a smelly vagina.

[safe sex 11,608]

1 hour ago, Your Mom said:

Umm.. so we’re just gonna let this comment go?  

As the owner of a high pressure industrial strength bidet and also a strong personal commitment to having an immaculate bung… NO.  You still gotta wipe, preferably with those wet wipes that piss off the guy who works at the water treatment plant.  You cannot convince me that your bidet is strong enough to get it white-glove-inspection clean, so to speak.  

Sorry you have industrial strength shits

[Gil Bang 25,651]

7 minutes ago, NameAlreadyInUse said:

When given the choice between bottle and draft, what person in their right mind would choose bottled?

 

I've been in some real shitholes, where I assumed that the bottles are cleaner than the glasses. 

[YGIFS 19,445]

15 minutes ago, NameAlreadyInUse said:

When given the choice between bottle and draft, what person in their right mind would choose bottled?

My junk is clean, but also never let it be said that even if it wasn't, I was responsible for a smelly vagina.

Well then you don't have to attend the continuing education course on genital hygiene dude.  

I was really today years old when I learned that it's dude's junk bringing funk from one vagina to another that makes women have hygiene issues besides STD's.  I guess stands to reason.  Plus yeah, most guys are filthy.  I kinda miss the pre-kid days when the wife and I would shower before bed without saying a word.  I'd be doing work or watching TV and I'd hear the shower go on at 9 or 10 and I knew it was oral business time.  

To tie this to beer and vaginas.  Horrific story I tell all the time to new dads.  Changing my oldest's diaper when she was about 1 or 1.5.  I changed her hundreds of times at that point.  I could tell it was a stinky one.  I take off her diaper and it's basically bone dry.  To this day, I'll never understand what the hell happened.  It smells like Golden Corral after a MAGA happy hour.  But there's almost no poop.  I roll her over to see if it was an up the back blowout, as those do happen.  But again, barely any poop.  I have no fucking idea what immutable laws of physics occurred that day, but her vagina was packed to the brim with shit somehow.  And it was like an Irish Bar Maid had taken one of those Guinness tap tools and smoothed off the top of it so the shit was all level.  I had to use the sink sprayer hose on her for like 10 minutes before it finally ran clear.  

The poop was angry that day my friends.  Like a sex nurse sending back test results at a deli.  

[Burt 4,046]

The next time I order a Bud Light...bottle, draft, can, keg, straight from the mud hole where they fetch it...will be the first time I order a Bud Light. I can't believe it took transphobia to get people to stop drinking it. 

[safe sex 11,608]

Transphobia is a hell of a drug, and that's not a joke

[Brisketexan 103,602]

The next time I order a Bud Light...bottle, draft, can, keg, straight from the mud hole where they fetch it...will be the first time I order a Bud Light. I can't believe it took transphobia to get people to stop drinking it. 

I mean…it’s like you’ve never gone fishin’.

[HamsterHookah 112]

10 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

I mean…it’s like you’ve never gone fishin’.

 

57 minutes ago, Burt said:

The next time I order a Bud Light...bottle, draft, can, keg, straight from the mud hole where they fetch it...will be the first time I order a Bud Light. I can't believe it took transphobia to get people to stop drinking it. 

This situation sucks for everyone involved at Bud Light. The human beings-- the marketing and product folks who got thrown under the bus, the business executives who saw the reality of their business and tried to widen the addressable market and demographics, the shareholders of AB InBev, etc.

For as much as everyone hates this beer, somebody had to be drinking it regularly enough. And when I say somebody, I mean millions of people. Losing $26bn in 6 weeks is pretty breath-taking. $26 million, okay, whatever. But $26 billion hit because of a smart business decision/risk is insane. And that's an existential hit if you aren't a behemoth like AB InBev.

And we know how "boycotts" usually are. They taper out as fast as they begin with the far right. Too many conveniences to not go to Target, etc.

But this one I wonder if it could be called a Black Swan event. Nobody at AB InBev could have seen this coming. This response, while theoretically possible, just wasn't thought to be a real, probabilistic occurrence.

 

[Pam Cummings 9,422]

1 hour ago, Burt said:

The next time I order a Bud Light...bottle, draft, can, keg, straight from the mud hole where they fetch it...will be the first time I order a Bud Light. I can't believe it took transphobia to get people to stop drinking it. 

Or how about people who have a "favorite" light beer. Oh i won't drink Miller Lite, that beer sucks. Give me a Coors Light!

 

My reaction is always

Edited June 3, 2023 by Pam Cummings

[Bookman 4,589]

The last time I had a Bud Light was during the Texas/Vanderbilt Super Regional in 2004.

[elfenix 34,109]

Or how about people who have a "favorite" light beer. Oh i won't drink Miller Lite, that beer sucks. Give me a Coors Light!
 
My reaction is always

My uncle's favorite light beer was whichever the neighbors had in their fridges

[Your Mom 4,762]

I attended a Mississippi State baseball game a couple months ago and the only choice at the beer stand near me was Michelob Ultra and Bud Light.  So I got two tall boys of Bud light and those Mississippi hillbillies looked at me like I had just fucked their dog for the rest of the game.  

[mdmost 42,459]

I'm glad my identity isn't centered around what kind of shitty light beer I drink, so much so that I have to boycott it if the company does something I may not agree with. And these are the same people who talk about how "soft" we are as a country now. 

Edited June 3, 2023 by mdmost

[jimmyjazz 45,192]

I'm 100% sure I've never drunk a Bud Light.

That said, I drank a shit ton of Budweiser in my college days, and I've drunk a shit ton of Shiner Bock and Lone Star since then.  

I don't look on bad beer drinkers with shame, but I'll damn sure pity them if their brand loyalty is some big deal.  I mean, sure, drink a few Bud Lights if you have to, but to wrap up your identity in that swill?