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Gather 'round, young surls, for the retelling of a classic Christmas story


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Posted
5 minutes ago, Murfdogg21 said:

$48 for worthless bullshit doesn’t seem as outrageous in 2021 as it did in 2013.

$48 will get you 3 sodas/bottles of water, and 3 small boxes of candy, all of which would cost you under $10 at HEB.

Posted
7 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

 Call me a scrooge but riding around looking at electricity captured in colored bulbs is not my idea of entertainment.

yeah this definitely some boolshit

Posted

Surly should fund a short film of this classic event. Cast regulars for the parts with Immac of course playing Jesus as they pass by the church. 
 

One of the 4 females could be the MC

 

Make it happen, let’s get our roll on. 

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Posted

The victimhood began when OP bought and strung up his own Christmas lights. The trolley ride was merely dessert at the end of a three-course meal of conformity.

Next year, go religious, and let a pregnant refugee couple camp in the garage.

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Posted

I keep this story in mind every year as a perfect example of why I fucking hate the holidays.  Hasn’t truly been about relaxing with family since I got married and had kids.  

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Posted
3 hours ago, ChickenSandwich said:

Surly should fund a short film of this classic event. Cast regulars for the parts with Immac of course playing Jesus as they pass by the church. 
 

One of the 4 females could be the MC

 

Make it happen, let’s get our roll on. 

Who is going to play Shaquandra?

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Posted
44 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Haven't we already heard this story from Brisket or another of the regulars ?

The best part of Wayne’s World was the debut of Bohemian Rhapsody, right?

Posted

Now it's officially the Christmas (Advent) season.  Gotdam national treasure, this story is. 

And this, this is pure fucking poetry, ""oooh like over thurr- look at the Santa up on the roof kids.” I know bitch I'M THE ONE THAT FUCKING PUT HIS FAT ASS UP THERE LAST WEEK"

Posted
12 hours ago, Murfdogg21 said:

$48 for worthless bullshit doesn’t seem as outrageous in 2021 as it did in 2013.

The biggest difference since 2013:

- Train re-branded "Magnolia Bus"

- Santa Claus replaced by gigantic lightup Joanna Gaines

- Tour just drives through the ghetto to the 10, perfectly manufactured fixer uppers

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Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, Harrison Bergeron said:

The biggest difference since 2013:

- Train re-branded "Magnolia Bus"

- Santa Claus replaced by gigantic lightup Joanna Gaines

- Tour just drives through the ghetto to the 10, perfectly manufactured fixer uppers

it was 2006.    not 2013.

it was literally one of the last viral threads on HF.

 

The kids in this story have all probably graduated college.  or in their senior year if not.

Edited by AUS-97HORN
Posted
20 hours ago, workswithseed said:

It's like our very own "Night Before Christmas." It needs to be retold, because it's tradition.

I think I'll gather my kids around the fire on Christmas eve and read this to them.

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Posted

My son and his wife live in Waco.  Every time we visit them this time of year I look for a Santa on a roof and remember Wide-e-Wide and his Christmas classic.

I have the physique and the white beard.  I'll volunteer to be the Santa on the roof in the movie.

Posted
56 minutes ago, 1978horn said:

Just read this to my 15 yr old son and had him crying. Life is good!

You're raising him right.

Posted
On 12/6/2021 at 2:29 PM, AUS-97HORN said:

it was 2006.    not 2013.

it was literally one of the last viral threads on HF.

 

The kids in this story have all probably graduated college.  or in their senior year if not.

WavyYellowIbex-max-1mb.gif

Posted (edited)
56 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

No offense, but I think it has to be @Hornius Emeritus 

No offense taken.  My beard doesn't come close to competing with his.  Just want to do my part.  Maybe I can be Drunk Neighbor on Porch instead.

Edited by Scheiss Meister
S? C? Whatever
Posted
51 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

No offense, but I think it has to be @Hornius Emeritus 


I've got the hair and the beard but I'd have to add about 125 .lbs.  If I may humblebrag, all this exercise during the pandemic has left me pretty lean. I thought my abs were gone forever but they were still there, camping out for the last 35 years. 

Posted

Driving back from Dallas after Thanksgiving We saw a line of cars a mile long waiting to get into some bullshit light thing near San Marcos.

I cut my wife off before she could ask with “That is my personal hell. No.”

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