Gather 'round, young surls, for the retelling of a classic Christmas story

[RPM 26614]

I don't hang lights. I don't get people that do. I really don't get people that go all out with them. 

[orange dream 1295]

Off topic but has your fame is expanding to other arenas. If already included somewhere else please forgive me.

[Brisketexan 106874]

I don't hang lights. I don't get people that do. I really don't get people that go all out with them. 

We live on a street where a lot of people do it up big. Like, big enough that we regularly have people touring our. Lock around Christmas. So, when we moved in, we felt like we needed to play ball. We do…..but barely. We participate. That’s it. And we’ve got our setup down to a science, so we can get it up in a few hours.

But if we didn’t, it wouldn’t break my heart.

[Lidig8r 1906]

Gotta bump this classic to the top.

[Nicole44 22304]

Still damned funny. Bump! 

[Gatorubet 30710]

On 12/5/2021 at 11:18 PM, Helobious said:

“Shaquandra our official Christmas lights tour guide” gets me 100% of the time

[RDCanecutter 26871]

The last year or two on my street the Hive Mind decided to all hang the same kind of Christmas lights. And not the gaudy Uncle-Bert-stole-a-truckload-of-lights either, which would have been glorious. No, they all opted for Sad Protestant Single Strand of White Lights outlining the roof and wall edges of the house.

Sorta gives the feeling of walking through an early vector-graphic game like Battlezone.

What's more, nobody hangs the lights themselves. Oh No. There's some gang of hillbillies rolling around doing it for everybody and I hope those fuckers are making bank.

Me, I am too blue-collar deep down to pay some other dude to do frivolous shit for me. And I am way too lazy to do it myself.

There is a stump, a 4-foot-tall stump out front that I left that way for reasons, 50/50, of critter habitat, and pissing off people who wish we had an HOA that wouldn't let us leave stumps. Maybe after Christmas I'll wrap a strand of lights around the stump, just so people who don't like the stump can see it in the dark.

[Beau Vine 55859]

It's that time of year!

[Lerka Lerka 1097]

Let’s get our roll on! 

[AUS-97HORN 12049]

its been 19 years since wide-e-wide posted that

 

NINETEEN YEARS

 

the kids in his story are all somewhere between 20-30 today ....

 

this line... this is the line that has always spoken to me most:

 

The point is, we spent almost $50 to look at the Christmas lights in our own damn neighborhood.

[jdhorn92 1594]

im crying laughing.  First timer, cant believe I've missed that one.  So funny.

[BlueGreySky 1081]

it's a perfect story.  a tradition as important as a tree or a turkey. 

“oooh like over thurr- look at the Santa up on the roof kids.” I know bitch “I'M THE ONE THAT FUCKING PUT HIS FAT ASS UP THERE LAST WEEK"

[Beau Vine 55859]

12 hours ago, Lerka Lerka said:

Let’s get our roll on! 

Okay den!

[Beau Vine 55859]

Wife wanted to go to some trail of lights kind of thing that she said was about a 30-minute drive away.  I said hell no while thinking of this thread.  

WHHHHHHHYYYYYY?????!?!??!

Me: Because the Christmas lights are awesome here in town and I'm not going to spend a half hour in a car and then pay to look at more lights.

We went to a hockey game Saturday with our friends in Denver and she tried to get them interested in going.  The husband shot her down: "I'm not driving 30 minutes to see Christmas lights when I can see them in my own neighborhood." 

I nearly had to show her this story...

 

[TexasEd 8266]

I just read this to my wife.  I'm sure I've told her before but it was like the first time she's heard it so that was great.

[Jameslaw121 4494]

I normally have a tradition of reading this storIy by myself Thanksgiving night, but decided that it was time jameslaw jr was ready (he's in 6th grade now. We also added Die Hard to him movie watching)

He lost it at "I put his fat add up there last week!"

[Kennythetiger 9618]

16 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:

I normally have a tradition of reading this storIy by myself Thanksgiving night, but decided that it was time jameslaw jr was ready (he's in 6th grade now. We also added Die Hard to him movie watching)

He lost it at "I put his fat add up there last week!"

You can say “ass” on here. 

[Evil Bill Obrien 3510]

Great story, 10/10 will read again next year and still get a pretty good laugh

[jdhorn92 1594]

I shared the story with a colleague and he liked it as much as me.  Great story.