2022 Transfer QB Quinn Ewers

[RockyMountainHighHorn 890]

16 hours ago, Doc Reeves said:

God teaches us humility when we need it, not when we ask for it. 
 

So, basically, the last 10yrs are your fault.

If only you knew doc, if only you knew. I wonder if that’s a church quote or a “room” quote. Could be both. And for anyone saying “that’s clearly biblical”…it’s one of those if you know, you know things. 

[Funk Doctor Spock 12199]

On 12/21/2021 at 9:22 PM, RGBIII said:

We have had opposite experiences with Quinn. I saw Quinn Ewers at HEB on Beecave yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

I'm fucking dead lol

[Funk Doctor Spock 12199]

On 2/21/2022 at 10:21 AM, irishtexan said:

Mustard on cheeseburgers is standard in Texas. 

https://www.texasmonthly.com/being-texan/the-texanist-who-invented-the-texas-style-burger/

 

The Texanist: Who Invented the ‘Texas-Style’ Burger?

A Houston man is puzzled by the mustard-laden grub at Jack in the Box and McDonald’s.

 

 

By David Courtney

Q:  I recently visited a Jack in the Box and they’ve added a burger called the Texas Double Jack. It’s a burger with mustard as the only condiment, much like the Texas Homestyle Burger at McDonald’s. Where did the idea of “Texas-style” burgers originate?

Michael Coppens, Houston

A: The Texanist has spent his entire lifetime—or, at least, a fair portion of it— studying the hamburger. Like many a carnivorous Texas-bred young‘un, he grew up on a regular diet of Dairy Queen and Whataburger. But he also enjoyed burgers at local outlets like the Charcoal Inn, Jody’s Drive Inn, Dottie’s Diner, the Blue Bonnet Café, and the café at the Ponderosa Motor Inn, along with a number of other joints.

After college, the Texanist even spent some time wielding a spatula, flipping burgers for money at a famed spot located on the banks of Lake Austin. It was there, under the tutelage of master burger man C-Boy Parks, a longtime veteran of the legendary Nighthawk Restaurants, famous for their Frisco Burgers, that the Texanist learned to build some mighty tasty burgers, if he does say so himself. He even once invented the “Dave Burger: Highway to Heartburn,” which featured two patties, double cheese, onion, jalapeño, and hickory sauce. Mmm-mmm—the Texanist can taste it (and, in his gut, feel it) now.

Suffice it to say you have come to the right place.

The hamburger is an inherently Texan foodstuff. And the Texanist doesn’t say this just because hamburgers are, at heart, meat sandwiches well suited to the appetites of beef-loving Texans. The Texanist says this because, according to at least one version of the historical record—the one the Texanist prefers—the hamburger was invented in Athens, Texas, by a man named Uncle Fletcher Davis, who served them up to hungry Athenians at his small café on the Henderson County courthouse square in the 1880s. The Texanist will now, without comment, note that other accounts of the hamburger’s invention involve New Haven, Connecticut; Seymour, Wisconsin; and the Village of Hamburg in New York.

It has been reported that the makeup of Uncle Fletch’s burgers included a slice of onion, pickles, mustard … and mayonnaise. Does the fact that the mustardy “Texas-style” burgers you’ve inquired about lack the mayonnaise possessed by the primordial burger somehow make them less Texan? The Texanist doesn’t think so. Why is this? For one, the Texanist has seen an account that has Uncle Fletch mixing his mustard and mayonnaise together into a sort of proto special sauce that was neither solely mustard nor solely mayonnaise—but likely dominated by the mustard, given how much more pungent the yellow stuff is than the off-white stuff. And, also, because mayonnaise-less (and ketchup-less, for that matter) burgers have a hardy pedigree in Texas.

Herd’s Hamburgers, in Jacksboro since 1916, for instance, serves its burgers with lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion, and mustard and has done so for as long as anyone can remember. Before that, current owner Danny Herd tells the Texanist, it just served them with onion, pickle, and mustard, sort of like Uncle Fletch did. And Dirty Martin’s Place, in Austin, has been sending out its tomato-pickle-onion-and-mustard KumBak Hamburger since 1926. And the Whataburger Number 1, a.k.a. the platonic ideal of the fast-food burger, comes with lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle, and mustard. According to the Whataburger folks the Texanist spoke to, this burger, the original Whataburger, has been the same since it was developed by founder Harmon Dobson in 1950, when the chain’s first outlet was established in Corpus Christi. Dobson, who died in a plane crash in 1970, opted to highlight the mustard because, as he once said, “mustard was a Texas tradition.”

And then there’s Dairy Queen. Although DQ was not founded in Texas, it counts as Texan in the Texanist’s eyes—at least the Texas locations do. The DQ folks inform the Texanist that back when the first Texas DQs opened (the very first was in Austin, in 1947), all the menus were developed by the individual franchisees. Six years later the influential Texas Dairy Queen Operators’ Council launched the Texas Country Foods system, which has been responsible for the likes of the Dude chicken-fried steak sandwich, the Steak Finger Country Basket, and at least two burgers: the Hungr-Buster and the BeltBuster. Both Busters are built with lettuce, tomato, purple onion (a nice touch), yellow mustard, and no other condiment. Dairy Queen was unable to tell the Texanist where, exactly, the inspiration for these mustard-slathered burgers was found.

Which brings us to Jack in the Box and McDonald’s, the two vendors you mention in your letter. The Texanist doesn’t regularly visit Jack in the Box, but he did take the trouble to reach out to them. Alas, they did not take the trouble to reach back. Perhaps the folks at Jack in the Box HQ, which is located in San Diego, California, were spooked by the word “Texas” in his email address. So, alas, the Texanist can’t relay any more information about the Texas Double Jack than you can find on the menu. A nice fella with McDonald’s (headquarters: Chicago) did respond, though, and he told the Texanist that the Texas Homestyle Burger, which was developed by a group of Texas owner/operators and regional McDonald’s staff, first made an appearance in the San Antonio area in 1990, before expanding to other parts of the state. The Texas Homestyle Burger is only available in Texas, he said.

Though they weren’t mentioned in your missive, the Texanist is also nominally familiar with a lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion, and mustard creation that Wendy’s calls the Texas Double Cheeseburger, and the Texas Double Whopper from Burger King, which features the same ingredients but adds jalapeño. So this whole idea of a mustard-positive, mayonnaise- (and ketchup-)less “Texas-style” burger is fairly widespread. Indeed, the etymologist Barry Popik—a onetime Texas resident—points out that informal burger-centric lingo sometimes refers to such burgers as “Texas burgers,” or sometimes “cowboy burgers.” Likewise, a mayonnaise-only burger is sometimes called a “sissy burger,” and a hamburger possessing only ketchup is sometimes called a “Yankee burger.”

As to the question of where, precisely, the idea of the “Texas-style” burger originated, the Texanist’s best guess, after a fair amount of research, is that if Uncle Fletch’s burger was the world’s first burger, then logic tells us that his mustard-enhanced creation was the very first Texas-style burger, too—even though it may have contained a little mayo. Does the Texanist know this for sure? He does not. He can, however, tell you this: the Texas-style burger sure as heck wasn’t created in Connecticut, Wisconsin, or New York. Of this, the Texanist is certain.

 

 

 

Herd's is fucking amazing. Shitty town, but fuck their burgers are amazing. 

Edited February 28, 2022 by Spider2YBanana

[WBT 20572]

21 hours ago, Spider2YBanana said:

So this whole idea of a mustard-positive, mayonnaise- (and ketchup-)less “Texas-style” burger is fairly widespread. Indeed, the etymologist Barry Popik—a onetime Texas resident—points out that informal burger-centric lingo sometimes refers to such burgers as “Texas burgers,” or sometimes “cowboy burgers.” Likewise, a mayonnaise-only burger is sometimes called a “sissy burger,” and a hamburger possessing only ketchup is sometimes called a “Yankee burger.”

Seems reasonable

[RollLeft 5045]

Need some more mullet news.  Fishing clips anything. 

[Pato del Muerto 52498]

1 minute ago, RollLeft said:

Need some more mullet news.  Fishing clips anything. 

Yeah. I’m a simple man. All I ask is a video of QE water skiing one footed while holding the line with the other foot, going 30 knots, coors light in his left hand and football in his right, throwing a 60 yard strike to someone in another boat going 50 knots ahead of them and then pounding down that silver bullet, crushing the can on his forehead, and throwing that into a recycle bin on shore. 

[RollLeft 5045]

5 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Yeah. I’m a simple man. All I ask is a video of QE water skiing one footed while holding the line with the other foot, going 30 knots, coors light in his left hand and football in his right, throwing a 60 yard strike to someone in another boat going 50 knots ahead of them and then pounding down that silver bullet, crushing the can on his forehead, and throwing that into a recycle bin on shore. 

While chewing gum.

[EastTexan 662]

1 hour ago, RollLeft said:

While chewing gum.

Na. Dipping snuff and spitting into the wind so hard it hits the driver in the back of the head.

[C-Man 27227]

On 2/28/2022 at 9:45 AM, Spider2YBanana said:

Herd's is fucking amazing. Shitty town, but fuck their burgers are amazing. 

Agreed. The in-laws own a place in Jacksboro and Herd's is on the agenda every time I'm there.

[Funk Doctor Spock 12199]

16 hours ago, C-Man said:

Agreed. The in-laws own a place in Jacksboro and Herd's is on the agenda every time I'm there.

Same. Every time we drive through to get to our family's house for the holidays we drive through Jacksboro just for Herd's. I almost convinced my wife to make the 3 hour drive when I saw this mentioned. It's that good  

Edited March 2, 2022 by Spider2YBanana
Punctuation and shit, yo

[Funk Doctor Spock 12199]

On 3/1/2022 at 7:13 AM, WBT said:

Seems reasonable

Mustard or die 

[UDontKnow 10445]

Just now, Spider2YBanana said:

Mustard or die 

But what kind of mustard?

Spicy or die

[Funk Doctor Spock 12199]

26 minutes ago, UDontKnow said:

But what kind of mustard?

Spicy or die

French's, so die. 

[Doc Reeves 6434]

On 3/1/2022 at 12:03 PM, Pato del Muerto said:

Yeah. I’m a simple man. All I ask is a video of QE water skiing one footed while holding the line with the other foot, going 30 knots, coors light in his left hand and football in his right, throwing a 60 yard strike to someone in another boat going 50 knots ahead of them and then pounding down that silver bullet, crushing the can on his forehead, and throwing that into a recycle bin on shore. 

 

On 3/1/2022 at 12:08 PM, RollLeft said:

While chewing gum.

 

On 3/1/2022 at 1:41 PM, EastTexan said:

Na. Dipping snuff and spitting into the wind so hard it hits the driver in the back of the head.

 

The grossest part of all that is still the Coors Light. 

[Napoleon 8679]

Coors Light was our high school beer.

Different beers have different smells, sometimes a complex variety of smells…

Coors Light smells like high school, or at least the last 3 1/2 years of it. 

[RollLeft 5045]

6 hours ago, Napoleon said:

Coors Light was our high school beer.

Different beers have different smells, sometimes a complex variety of smells…

Coors Light smells like high school, or at least the last 3 1/2 years of it. 

Milwaukee's Best would like a word.

[Doc Reeves 6434]

7 hours ago, Napoleon said:

Coors Light was our high school beer.

Different beers have different smells, sometimes a complex variety of smells…

Coors Light smells like high school, or at least the last 3 1/2 years of it. 

Oh sweet HS nostalgia. I feel the same way sometimes but with cocaine and regret instead of Coors Light

1 hour ago, RollLeft said:

Milwaukee's Best would like a word.

 

Beast Tallboys. 

Fuck the world.

Anybody else have to scrape the bottom of the barrel and get that H-E-B (?) brand beer ‘Sportz” circa the 90s? It came in a fucking textured can and was like $8.99 for an 18 pack? It tasted like stale, warmed over bum piss? It was discontinued in the late 90 but damn, it should have come with a pack of stained wifebeaters/undershirts. 

[morehornsepower 887]

1 hour ago, Doc Reeves said:

Oh sweet HS nostalgia. I feel the same way sometimes but with cocaine and regret instead of Coors Light

 

Beast Tallboys. 

Fuck the world.

Anybody else have to scrape the bottom of the barrel and get that H-E-B (?) brand beer ‘Sportz” circa the 90s? It came in a fucking textured can and was like $8.99 for an 18 pack? It tasted like stale, warmed over bum piss? It was discontinued in the late 90 but damn, it should have come with a pack of stained wifebeaters/undershirts. 

You guys had it good.  Colt 45 and MD 20/20 were the HS go-tos here.  Glad I no longer get anywhere near either of those, to even have to worry about what the smell might remind me of...  lol

Edited March 3, 2022 by morehornsepower
english is hard

[Funk Doctor Spock 12199]

4 hours ago, RollLeft said:

Milwaukee's Best would like a word.

Mickey's laughs at this 

[RollLeft 5045]

4 minutes ago, Spider2YBanana said:

Mickey's laughs at this 

...Schlitz in the back corner.

[Red Five 40858]

1 hour ago, Spider2YBanana said:

Mickey's laughs at this 

"Piss in a pickle jar" is what we called it.

[FloridaHorn 4755]

1 hour ago, Spider2YBanana said:

Mickey's laughs at this 

Back in the day, I drank a bunch of them Big Mouth bastards.

[Scholz 11943]

I remember buying this at the HEB on 38th in 1990.

 

[Pato del Muerto 52498]

5 minutes ago, Scholz said:

I remember buying this at the HEB on 38th in 1990.

 

Pretty sure I saw those at fiesta in the late 90s. 

[Ragde 244]

12 hours ago, Napoleon said:

Coors Light was our high school beer.

Different beers have different smells, sometimes a complex variety of smells…

Coors Light smells like high school, or at least the last 3 1/2 years of it. 

Coors Light is still my driving beer.

[Scholz 11943]

For parties we would always buy the cheap keg and then fake em out with an old Bud Light or Coors Light tap cover.  You know to be classy.

[LW Goatman 1124]

I remember a sixer of MGD was like $1.99 back in the early 90s when we were in high school. We bought MGD. 

[TheAuditor 1036]

Schaefer's says Howdy.  That stuff was less than 2 bucks a six pack and was an all purpose fluid on fishing trips:  Drink it,  Brush teeth with it,  Wash hands, and clean fish - all in one handy container. 

[Hornius Emeritus 12462]

2 hours ago, LW Goatman said:

I remember a sixer of MGD was like $1.99 back in the early 90s when we were in high school. We bought MGD. 

I remember when a six-pack of Texas Pride or Buckhorn was 99 cents. I also remember getting the 12 packs of Pearl in a box for 2.99.

 

[Pato del Muerto 52498]

If we’re doing this then I used to buy 12 packs of natty ice for $4.99. The first two were terrible, then they got progressively smoother. 

[Funk Doctor Spock 12199]

3 hours ago, FloridaHorn said:

Back in the day, I drank a bunch of them Big Mouth bastards.

We used to go to the Indian store by the school and get a few six packs of the grenades and get fucked up. Good times. But God they taste like shit haha 

[Funk Doctor Spock 12199]

4 hours ago, Red Five said:

"Piss in a pickle jar" is what we called it.

And you're not wrong 

[Funk Doctor Spock 12199]

21 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

If we’re doing this then I used to buy 12 packs of natty ice for $4.99. The first two were terrible, then they got progressively smoother. 

That's what we would do with natty lite. First two were like piss, but the 3rd onwards it could have been the best shit you've ever had 

[Hornlover 8830]

Shitty beer talk is not going away. 

[Deej 76791]

On 2/27/2022 at 8:05 PM, futureman said:

I can’t believe Liberace was gay. Women loved him. I didn’t see that one coming. 

What? Next you'll tell me Charles Nelson Reilly and Paul Lynde were gay.

 

[mr. sunshine 2827]

51 minutes ago, Hornlover said:

Shitty beer talk is not going away. 

Used to pick this up at one of the liquor stores off 59 on the Angelina River between Nacogdoches and Lufkin. Extremely affordable and very drinkable if kept almost freezing cold 

Edited March 4, 2022 by mr. sunshine

[ztejas 43448]

Did lone star used to not be a cheap offering? I drank the shit out of that when I was 18 and 19. 

[BurntOrange&White 39932]

1 hour ago, ztejas said:

Did lone star used to not be a cheap offering? I drank the shit out of that when I was 18 and 19. 

It was cheap until the hipsters got ahold of it. 

[CTC2 2797]

6 hours ago, Scholz said:

I remember buying this at the HEB on 38th in 1990.

 

I can confirm this as well.

[ztejas 43448]

48 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

It was cheap until the hipsters got ahold of it. 

Like... cheaper? It's still dirt cheap. 

[The Original Greaser Bob 2833]

 

8 hours ago, Scholz said:

I remember buying this at the HEB on 38th in 1990.

 

 

A surly man is always intense.

[Beau Vine 54228]

14 hours ago, RollLeft said:

Milwaukee's Best would like a word.

Carling Black Label.

[Hank_Hill 18807]

1 hour ago, ztejas said:

Like... cheaper? It's still dirt cheap. 

$6.60 for a 6 pack of tallboys is expensive to some people apparently.

[ImissWallyPryor 9046]

9 hours ago, Scholz said:

I remember buying this at the HEB on 38th in 1990.

 

I first bought that at HEB on Oltorf c. 1980. It was made by Falstaff at the time, if my memory serves me. I was surprisingly impressed, but then again, I was only 19 or 20. 

Edited March 4, 2022 by ImissWallyPryor

[ImissWallyPryor 9046]

4 hours ago, ztejas said:

Did lone star used to not be a cheap offering? I drank the shit out of that when I was 18 and 19. 

Your guide to Austin beer prices in the late 70s or early 80s…

[ousux 5597]

Shitty beer talk is not going away. 

I can switch things up, no Franzia box wine fans in here? Genius buddy of mine actually rigged one up as a reverse fanny pack thing...completely with modified long drinking tube.

[ousux 5597]

Your guide to Austin beer prices in the late 70s or early 80s…

Jesus..I would have maintained an absurdly high BAC 24/7

Of course that's probably when you could have taken a date out to dinner at a decently nice place and get change from a $20 bill....including drinks and tip.

[HenryJames 66052]

5 hours ago, ousux said:

Of course that's probably when you could have taken a date out to dinner at a decently nice place and get change from a $20 bill....including drinks and tip.

And never call her again.

[futureman 22462]

Schiltz is pretty good. 

[Red Five 40858]

Shiner cheaper than Lone Star. Interesting.

I could sure go for a $1.50 pitcher of Shiner.