Herschel Walker catch-all thread

[Fudge Nuggets 19093]

5 minutes ago, strangulation! said:

** my mom and me

*** you’re mom

[Covri 6223]

5 minutes ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

*** you’re mom

**** Your momma and your cousin, too  

[Fudge Nuggets 19093]

1 minute ago, Covri said:

**** Your momma and your cousin, too  

Yoor 

[4th&Five 41396]

Just noticed that Doug Flutie introduced him at the press conference last night. Did all the Nugenix make him crazy or something?

Edited December 8, 2022 by 4th&Five
Makes sense I guess: Flutie and Walker were teammates in 1985 on the New Jersey Generals, a USFL team once owned by Donald Trump.

[Sawbonz 27139]

1 hour ago, mchookem said:

*you're

*me and my mom

**my mom and me

** my father’s holding (subject of gerund phrase is possessive)

He gets a couple points back for “adulteresses”

[Matuka 1304]

1 hour ago, 4th&Five said:

Just noticed that Doug Flutie introduced him at the press conference last night. Did all the Nugenix make him crazy or something?

You made the list Flutie!

[tx 3 putt 75851]

Any ‘normal’ dick head Georgia R wins this race 

Pendejos 

Edited December 8, 2022 by tx 3 putt

[TeeDubya 3358]

5 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

😂😂😂😂

 

 It's easy to see, despite being a man of the cognitive ability of a comatose grasshopper, we know Herschel is apparently scared of MTG's cloven hooves.

[Biff Tannen 45384]

Let this be the last we ever hear of this jackass and his son.  Bye losers.

[Pato del Muerto 52184]

****adultrixes

dont care if it’s correct, trix is a better and sexier suffix than tress and should be used exclusively. 

[hpslugga 4020]

4 hours ago, Aqua Buddha said:

Savage:

 

That “Warnock is a wife beating asshole too” bit is perhaps the worst example of the pot calling the silverware black I’ve ever seen.

[Macanudo 12911]

21 minutes ago, TeeDubya said:

 It's easy to see, despite being a man of the cognitive ability of a comatose grasshopper, we know Herschel is apparently scared of MTG's cloven hooves.

As any man, woman or child should be.

[Brian Fantana 6650]

3 hours ago, YGIFS said:

What did he do that was so wrong other than lost that jackass bit at the gas station like two years ago?  

He's just a generic conservative commenter with shitty opinions, he hasn't really done anything horrible. He's young enough where he can be redeemed, imo.

[Pancho 44005]

I don’t think he’s conservative rather I think he’s an attention hoe.

He’ll be on a reality tv show in 2-3 years—big brother, light skinned niggas edition of “Survivor”, or someone’s bff on one of the Real Housewives shows.

[PenelopeWitherspoon 18988]

 

[Bullneck 18892]

2 hours ago, 4th&Five said:

Just noticed that Doug Flutie introduced him at the press conference last night. Did all the Nugenix make him crazy or something?

It turns out that I might have had a couple too many rum and Cokes on a weeknight but I'm proud of you for having put this together.  Good post sir. 

[Bama Chick 28596]

Congratulations Senator Tuberville.  He gets to hold on to his prestigious office as Senate Stupidity Leader.

[TexArcher 37373]

16 minutes ago, PenelopeWitherspoon said:

 

Strongest, like bench press?  Yeah, maybe.

But I'm not sure that makes up for his brain being the size a retarded walnut.

[Brian Fantana 6650]

1 hour ago, Pancho said:

I don’t think he’s conservative rather I think he’s an attention hoe.

He’ll be on a reality tv show in 2-3 years—big brother, light skinned niggas edition of “Survivor”, or someone’s bff on one of the Real Housewives shows.

He might not really be personally conservative but he is definitely in on the grift. He spouts a lot of right-wing talking points.

[Grade of D as in David 13253]

2 hours ago, PenelopeWitherspoon said:

 

He also had a great 40. Unfortunately his Wonderlic was really low.

[WhatTheBuck 28690]

2 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

****adultrixes

dont care if it’s correct, trix is a better and sexier suffix than tress and should be used exclusively. 

Silly Pato, trix are for kids. 

[Ted Lange 15951]

18 hours ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

And even with all that, they win 51/49. If Republicans put up candidates that didn't hold guns to heads and talk about werewolves, they'd be winning in a landslide.

Warnock ran for the same office, against a non-werewolve candidate less than 2 years ago, he not only didn’t lose by a landslide but he won,    So not really accurate.   

[DigglerontheHoof 20917]

8 hours ago, PenelopeWitherspoon said:

 

If one feels the need to advertise oneself as "alpha male", I guaran-fucking-tee you he's the exact opposite.  I'm positive my 21 yo niece (no pics) could use her faded taekwondo training to wipe the floor w/ him. 

[Nice Guy Eddie 13385]

21 hours ago, Chooky said:

Looking back on it, Herschel Walker might have been a flawed candidate.

The fact that Herschel barely lost, I'm glad that he ran. A halfway competent GOP candidate would most likely have beaten Warnock. Dems need to continually push Trump and the Q fanatics to run more Walkers. 

[TexasEd 8054]

13 hours ago, PenelopeWitherspoon said:

 

If the measurement is how many pushups they can do then I agree.

[Js1 84935]

Analysis: How Raphael Warnock defeated Herschel Walker (ajc.com)

Quote

“Herschel was like a plane crash into a train wreck that rolled into a dumpster fire. And an orphanage. Then an animal shelter. You kind of had to watch it squinting through one eye between your fingers,” said Dan McLagan, an adviser to Agriculture Commissioner Gary Black, one of Walker’s defeated rivals in the GOP primary.

 

[Horn Under a Bad Sign 20327]

 

 

 

Edited December 8, 2022 by Horn Under a Bad Sign

[Ted Lange 15951]

A reminder.  This was the GOP primary in GA.  Explains how the werewolf candidate got 49% in the general, Georgia republicans are fucking morons. 
 

 

[Nice Guy Eddie 13385]

15 hours ago, PenelopeWitherspoon said:

 

If you have to put alpha male after your name then most likely you're not.

[Horn Under a Bad Sign 20327]

19 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

*** you’re mom

**** South Austin's mom

[Longhorn_Fan68 33769]

8 hours ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

If one feels the need to advertise oneself as "alpha male", I guaran-fucking-tee you he's the exact opposite.  I'm positive my 21 yo niece (no pics) could use her faded taekwondo training to wipe the floor w/ him. 

pretty sure that account is parody

[High Plains Drifter 10961]

15 minutes ago, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

pretty sure that account is parody

 

its sooo hard to tell anymore

 

[YGIFS 19445]

59 minutes ago, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

pretty sure that account is parody

Yeah, I think we talked about this a few months back.  He kinda ebbs and flows.  Sometimes he's so over the top, it has to be satire.  And then other times, he just kinda makes cursory takes, albeit shitty ones, on legit news stories.  But since the mid-terms, he's been so sublime, I'm starting to think it's performative.  I'll give him credit though, he toes the line pretty well.  I start on these pro-MAGA rants sometimes with friends and family using buzzwords and intonation tricks, but after like 90 seconds...I just start laughing at myself and can't get through it.  He keeps it up pretty good.  I'd have broken character long ago. 

 

I wonder how his monetization of all this is going in all honesty

[Bookman 4600]

I had a Herschel Walker poster when I was a kid. I got it after this play:

 

[Ted Lange 15951]

 

[Horn Dog 9500]

9 hours ago, Ted Lange said:

 

Four times in one night??  Pic of Christians friend?

[Gatorubet 29915]

On 12/7/2022 at 9:38 PM, PenelopeWitherspoon said:

 

“Any man who says ‘I’m an alpha male’ is no true, alpha male…”

[Burt 4062]

16 hours ago, Horn Dog said:

Four times in one night??  Pic of Christians friend?

I bet it's closer to this than what you're hoping.

[Pescado_Rojo 19290]

On 12/12/2022 at 9:07 AM, Horn Dog said:

Four times in one night??  Pic of Christians friend?

User Name checks out

[Francisco 2.0 32289]

Please be true. Please be true. Please be true.

 

 

[Blotto 23349]

Quote

“Matt Schlapp of the CPAC grabbed my junk and pummeled it at length, and I’m sitting there thinking what the hell is going on, that this person is literally doing this to me,” the staffer said in the video.

“From the bar to the Hilton Garden Inn, he has his hands on me. And I feel so fucking dirty. I feel so fucking dirty,” he said.

I'm surprised the simulation didnt make the dude's name Richard Schlapp

Edited January 6, 2023 by Blotto

[TeeDubya 3358]

2 hours ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

Please be true. Please be true. Please be true.

 

 

No mere mortal could ever write a story this amazing, and dripping with irony.

 

[Chooky 13287]

I'm stunned to hear how seemingly well the Walker campaign handled that on behalf of the staffer. 

 

[YGIFS 19445]

Well a good ball carrier like Herschel is Only gonna surround himself with the best handling staff. 

[Gatorubet 29915]

Please be true. Please be true. Please be true.
 
 

I’m sure that Herschel was behind the plan to identify gays in the campaign and oust them. You see, Herschel knew that if he sent Matt to grab a bunch of guys’ crotches, they would be able to fire anyone who got an erection. 
 

[Nice Guy Eddie 13385]

Could care less is Schlapp is gay or not, but it doesn’t seem far fetched for a conservative leader to lead a double life.

When the story started, I assumed this staffer was a relatively young gop guy. Who else gets driver duty. No, he’s in his late 30s. Walker was paying middle-aged worker salaries to drive people? No wonder he lost if his campaign did that.

my prediction is that Schlapp’s employer pays this guy off with gop funds. Now if this story leads to similar stories then Schlapp will need to sit his wife down for a talk.

[Pescado_Rojo 19290]

I'm guessing the wife knows and she's stuck around for the financial security and access to the cocktail parties. Now that he's embarrassed her publicly, she'll take half his shit and move on. 

[Celery Man 20817]

Wait what the fuck is happening in here

[Js1 84935]

6 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

Wait what the fuck is happening in here

Same thing that always happen.

Uber conservative is closeted and gropes men.  Plot twist: it was not a child, so that's something 

[YGIFS 19445]

Well you see Celery Man, there was this bull and these two cows and the bull said "Nah, I want something better" to the two cows.......so he grabbed the dick of the dude next to him for cash and who knows what happened after that.