you can only choose one person to call pxp for Texas Basketball

[shadow_operative 15932]

Vote.

[hobbes2702 13049]

[hobbes2702 13049]

The game being on U last night I was pretty psyched about getting someone other than Lowell. Apparently he’s no longer confined to LHN

[Guest Lobo]

Instead of Janice from Friends (who was deceptively hot BTW), I'd rather have Janice from "The Sopranos." 

Lowell has obviously convinced somebody at ESPN/ABC that he should get more shakes on stuff other than LHN.  Because that station will not exist 18 months from now.  Good news is at least he'll be foisted upon the rest of the nation instead of just Longhorn Nation.  I want to dislike him as much as you guys but his wife is smoking hot, or she was last time I saw her before Covid.  

[hobbes2702 13049]

Never met the guy but he does seem like a nice enough dude. He’s just really bad at play by play

[shadow_operative 15932]

13 minutes ago, hobbes2702 said:

Never met the guy but he does seem like a nice enough dude. He’s just really bad at play by play

ive met him once. totally milquetoast, but whatever. like most people who make me mad on tv, it's not the person i hate, it's the tv personality. and lowell is factually, objectively terrible at his job. it isn't like Dickie V or Bill Walton where he has some huge personality and you either love him or hate him; no no no. the dude has zero fucking clue how to do pxp. none. he incessantly talks over the action, often for minutes at a time. he constantly asks Lance a series of long winded, meandering questions, opening up a discussion that's suited for a half hour studio show, not a basketball game broadcast. he fucking sucks, and having to listen to him just sucks the life out of me.

also, let us never ever ever forget that Lowell tried very very very hard to give Jonathan Holmes the nickname "Johnny Basketball." what kind of fucktard who is supposed to be the TV voice of the Texas Longhorns tries over and over and over to give one our players a nickname based on a Texas A&M QB? 

[Brian Fantana 6689]

Chinese lady who had never seen basketball before would be funniest by a long shot

[Guest Lobo]

Donna Chang?

 

Whatever happened to Jonathan Holmes?  He had that beast of a junior year, I almost thought he'd leave for the NBA.  Came back, wasn't quite as great but damn good.  And never a single word about him ever again.  I still hear a little here and there about most of our 4-year standouts, but not him.  Not a peep.  

[shadow_operative 15932]

7 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Donna Chang?

 

Whatever happened to Jonathan Holmes?  He had that beast of a junior year, I almost thought he'd leave for the NBA.  Came back, wasn't quite as great but damn good.  And never a single word about him ever again.  I still hear a little here and there about most of our 4-year standouts, but not him.  Not a peep.  

he ended up playing with some sort Team USA in what i assume were FIBA competitions. not sure about professionally though.

[pyrohornIII 4816]

Ironic part is that I enjoy him calling baseball games.  But nothing else.   He sucks at all else.    

And while we are on this kick, why do they keep mentioning Blanks was an NBA GM?  I mean if he was good enough to be a GM, then wouldn't he still be doing that gig somewhere instead of doing color on LHN?   

[jimmyjazz 45991]

I can't even remember if Bill Schoening did pxp or color, but in a bizarre way, I miss him.

I don't miss his "songwriting".

[ChiTownDoc 21154]

I thought this was about douchebag golf equipment. 

[shadow_operative 15932]

listening to Lowell droning on for 10 real time minutes about HBCU's is a special kind of torture. I'm trying to watch a basketball game, mother of god. 

[Dr. Teeth 5845]

Old Chinese lady with years of wisdom and a bit of moxy and I’m in. She just has to agree to not pretend really bad teams are good when we have a bad first half. 

Edited December 22, 2021 by Dr. Teeth

[Sgt. Slaughter 2841]

After listening to Bill Walton last week, I figure Sloth would at least provide some continuity. 

[ztejas 43503]

25 minutes ago, Dr. Teeth said:

Old Chinese lady with years of wisdom and a bit of moxy and I’m in. She just has to agree to not pretend really bad teams are good when we have a bad first half. 

I'm sort of warming to this idea.

Why he pass? He open! Shoot the ball, stupid! 

[shadow_operative 15932]

49 minutes ago, Dr. Teeth said:

Old Chinese lady with years of wisdom and a bit of moxy and I’m in. She just has to agree to not pretend really bad teams are good when we have a bad first half. 

Lance today, on the final possession of the 1H: "This is the most crucial possession of this game." lol. imagine if we'd given up a bucket and only won by 18.

[TexArcher 37988]

On 12/15/2021 at 1:43 PM, Brian Fantana said:

Chinese lady who had never seen basketball before would be funniest by a long shot

Ohh, it's a brocked shot, you get it outta heah right naow!

 

(You were all thinking it)

[hobbes2702 13049]

 

[hookemATL 11793]

Lowells call on Disu’s dunk:

”he wants the dunk. He gets the dunk.”

can we get Helen Keller and Marlee Matlin on air instead?

[UTexasFight 9512]

I know they are color guys, but I’m disappointed Eddie Oran or Uecker’s sidekick in Major League aren’t options

[Rockethorn1978 6098]

I’ve always been confused how no one at UT can hear how bad he is and keep him doing the pxp. I thought cdc was gonna save us from shit like this.

[kingkoopa6 8372]

 

 

Edited December 28, 2021 by kingkoopa6

[Guest]

Daryl Reaugh

That sumbeech could make anything sound great.

[TrashMaster G 17568]

On 12/17/2021 at 11:12 PM, jimmyjazz said:

I can't even remember if Bill Schoening did pxp or color, but in a bizarre way, I miss him.

I don't miss his "songwriting".

Schoening is a pxp guy and one of the very best.  He's been the voice of the Spurs since he left UT.  Nothing bizarre about missing him.

[TejasPedro 1858]

Can we have Lowell and Lance listen to old broadcasts of Gene Peterson and Jim Foley they knew when to shut the hell up and when to chime in. When to be dramatic and when to be inspiring. 

[MirrOlure 14800]

I’ve always been confused how no one at UT can hear how bad he is and keep him doing the pxp. I thought cdc was gonna save us from shit like this.

CDC still allows Bob Fucking Cole to vomit on the microphone for four hours at DKR on Saturday afternoons each fall. Not sure whether he has any control over LHN personnel but he damn sure ignores this abomination.

Now back to your regularly scheduled thread.

[m00t607t 155]

On 12/17/2021 at 11:12 PM, jimmyjazz said:

I can't even remember if Bill Schoening did pxp or color, but in a bizarre way, I miss him.

I don't miss his "songwriting".

pxp and this is the right answer.

also the right answer to baseball for SURE.

maybe football too, but Craig has grown on me .....took a LOT of years to say that, especially after Dawson's kick against Virginia into the wind, but Bill Schoening is the right answer for this in the way that Vin Scully is

[m00t607t 155]

On 12/27/2021 at 8:31 PM, TrashMaster G said:

Schoening is a pxp guy and one of the very best.  He's been the voice of the Spurs since he left UT.  Nothing bizarre about missing him.

damn it...you beat me to it.

 

what he said.....by a wide margin

[shadow_operative 15932]

4 hours ago, m00t607t said:

pxp and this is the right answer.

also the right answer to baseball for SURE.

maybe football too, but Craig has grown on me .....took a LOT of years to say that, especially after Dawson's kick against Virginia into the wind, but Bill Schoening is the right answer for this in the way that Vin Scully is

we've had Brad Sham, Ron Franklin, Bill Schoening, and Craig Way doing pxp for us for the majority of the last half century, maybe more. nobody has been as spoiled as Texas when it comes to announcing teams. it probably doesn't get any better than when we had Schoening doing pxp, Way doing color, and Roger Wallace as the sideline reporter. 

and then there's Lowell fucking Galindo. the man is offensively terrible on a nightly basis. ive loved having the LHN (as underwhelming as it's been), but when it finally goes away i will do a victory dance for the mere fact that Lowell Galindo will no longer be the pxp guy for UT hoops on TV. 

Edited January 2, 2022 by shadow_operative

[Wally Pryor 5261]

Chuck Cooperstein. Best basketball pxp guy I've ever heard. I want to say he worked for Texas many years back for a season or two. 

His work is simply the best. You can be 2000 miles from the venue listening on radio and Cooperstein makes you feel like you're at courtside. 

[Tigersnake 670]

[TrashMaster G 17568]

22 hours ago, Wally Pryor said:

Chuck Cooperstein. Best basketball pxp guy I've ever heard. I want to say he worked for Texas many years back for a season or two. 

His work is simply the best. You can be 2000 miles from the venue listening on radio and Cooperstein makes you feel like you're at courtside. 

Cooperstein is fantastic.  I put him in the same category as Schoening. 

Both are Philly guys.  Go figure.

[Wally Pryor 5261]

5 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said:

Cooperstein is fantastic.  I put him in the same category as Schoening. 

Both are Philly guys.  Go figure.

 

Yup.

[TrashMaster G 17568]

Galindo should be calling games with Bill Walton.  That way they are contained onto one broadcast together that I can avoid.

[ztejas 43503]

1 hour ago, TrashMaster G said:

Galindo should be calling games with Bill Walton.  That way they are contained onto one broadcast together that I can avoid.

Throw in Mark Jackson and have it not be Texas games and I'm in. 

[shadow_operative 15932]

6 hours ago, ztejas said:

Throw in Mark Jackson and have it not be Texas games and I'm in. 

scene: it's late in the second half of a tightly contested game Duke and UNC. the action is up and down, and the officials are swallowing their whistles, allowing the game to flow freely. points are being scored left and right. fade in to the ESPN broadcast.

Galindo: "Bill, with this being Hubert Davis's first year in charge after years of UNC being coached by legendary coach Roy Williams, a former Big XII and Kansas legend as my old partner Lance Blanks will attest to, what does Davis, as the guy who is replacing the legend, what does Davis need to do here in year one to keep that UNC tradition of blue blood basketball going, while also trying to create his own unique path as a head coach, and trying to get out from under the shadow of former head coach and legend Roy Williams?"

(seven points have been scored since Lowell started talking. Walton grabs something from under the table)

Walton: "this is called a glockenspiel. it's a german instrument much like a xylophone. my family and i used to hike the Ewoldsen Trail at Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park in Big Sur. we would strip off all of our clothes and roll around in the dirt, reuniting with our Mother Earth and her bountiful energy, as we would sit around the camp fore with our glockenspiels, howling at the moon, reuniting with our primal, eternal souls, as the spirit of the late, great Jerry Garcia would guide us on an ethereal meditation seance under the California moon."

Jackson: "MOMMA THERE GOES THAT MAN!!"

Edited January 4, 2022 by shadow_operative

[PantsTent 2002]

scene: it's late in the second half of a tightly contested game Duke and UNC. the action is up and down, and the officials are swallowing their whistles, allowing the game to flow freely. points are being scored left and right. fade in to the ESPN broadcast.
Galindo: "Bill, with this being Hubert Davis's first year in charge after years of UNC being coached by legendary coach Roy Williams, a former Big XII and Kansas legend as my old partner Lance Blanks will attest to, what does Davis, as the guy who is replacing the legend, what does Davis need to do here in year one to keep that UNC tradition of blue blood basketball going, while also trying to create his own unique path as a head coach, and trying to get out from under the shadow of former head coach and legend Roy Williams?"
(seven points have been scored since Lowell started talking. Walton grabs something from under the table)
Walton: "this is called a glockenspiel. it's a german instrument much like a xylophone. my family and i used to hike the Ewoldsen Trail at Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park in Big Sur. we would strip off all of our clothes and roll around in the dirt, reuniting with our Mother Earth and her bountiful energy, as we would sit around the camp fore with our glockenspiels, howling at the moon, reuniting with our primal, eternal souls, as the spirit of the late, great Jerry Garcia would guide us on an ethereal meditation seance under the California moon."
Jackson: "MOMMA THERE GOES THAT MAN!!"

Perfect. I read Em with each voice in my head and it’s totally believable.

[Guest]

On 12/15/2021 at 1:42 PM, shadow_operative said:

ive met him once. totally milquetoast, but whatever. like most people who make me mad on tv, it's not the person i hate, it's the tv personality. and lowell is factually, objectively terrible at his job. it isn't like Dickie V or Bill Walton where he has some huge personality and you either love him or hate him; no no no. the dude has zero fucking clue how to do pxp. none. he incessantly talks over the action, often for minutes at a time. he constantly asks Lance a series of long winded, meandering questions, opening up a discussion that's suited for a half hour studio show, not a basketball game broadcast. he fucking sucks, and having to listen to him just sucks the life out of me.

also, let us never ever ever forget that Lowell tried very very very hard to give Jonathan Holmes the nickname "Johnny Basketball." what kind of fucktard who is supposed to be the TV voice of the Texas Longhorns tries over and over and over to give one our players a nickname based on a Texas A&M QB? 

I don’t know how you can separate the TV personality from the person. Listen to all the Madden lauding going on right now. A common theme is he was affable off the air - the same person basically. For Galindo to be something totally different off the air makes him worse in my mind. 

To answer your original question, let’s go Lowell as PBP and to complete the worst booth ever, let’s go with Eddie Oran as the color guy and Bitter White Guy to be the yuk monkey. 

[ztejas 43503]

2 hours ago, shadow_operative said:

scene: it's late in the second half of a tightly contested game Duke and UNC. the action is up and down, and the officials are swallowing their whistles, allowing the game to flow freely. points are being scored left and right. fade in to the ESPN broadcast.

Galindo: "Bill, with this being Hubert Davis's first year in charge after years of UNC being coached by legendary coach Roy Williams, a former Big XII and Kansas legend as my old partner Lance Blanks will attest to, what does Davis, as the guy who is replacing the legend, what does Davis need to do here in year one to keep that UNC tradition of blue blood basketball going, while also trying to create his own unique path as a head coach, and trying to get out from under the shadow of former head coach and legend Roy Williams?"

(seven points have been scored since Lowell started talking. Walton grabs something from under the table)

Walton: "this is called a glockenspiel. it's a german instrument much like a xylophone. my family and i used to hike the Ewoldsen Trail at Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park in Big Sur. we would strip off all of our clothes and roll around in the dirt, reuniting with our Mother Earth and her bountiful energy, as we would sit around the camp fore with our glockenspiels, howling at the moon, reuniting with our primal, eternal souls, as the spirit of the late, great Jerry Garcia would guide us on an ethereal meditation seance under the California moon."

Jackson: "MOMMA THERE GOES THAT MAN!!"

I lost it at "this is called a glockenspiel". Well done. 

[shadow_operative 15932]

i'm (trying to) watch the ISU game on my DVR, and this piece of shit Lowell will not SHUT THE FUCK UP. oh my god, what is wrong with whoever is in charge of these broadcasts? we come back from a second half commercial, it's a tight game that's important for both teams, and before anyone can just watch any action, Lowell just jumps right in like it's a studio show with his classic, interminable question asking.

"Lance, this is a big game for both teams, but i'm not sure you can say which team this is a bigger game for. Texas is obviously in a better spot in the conference, sitting at 5-4, but i think that both teams are still in great position to make the tournament. Texas, with their schedule coming up having four games still to play against Baylor and Kansas, Texas needs a win to stay ahead of that curve in the conference. but Iowa State, they don't want to fall down to 3-7 in conference play either. but again,  it hate still in a good spot ncaa tourney wise, and still have several big games left to play. so, in a weird way, this is a game that's both a must-win, and at the same time, if you lose this one it doesn't really matter all that much."

Lowell: SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP!!! you are a play by play guy, on television no less. your job is to accentuate the action that's on the screen in front of us, not to ask a never ending gaggle of meandering, pointless, completely fucking inane questions so that you and Lance can talk over the entire goddamn broadcast! holy fucking shit man.

and speaking of these "questions", how in the fuck do you always manage to take 75 seconds to ask them?!? i use the term "ask" extremely loosely, because you always end up answering your own goddamn question and then making several other inane points and references before you even finish "asking" said "question". and then we get to hear Lance spend three minutes answering you! yippee!

Lowell, I hope you are reading this: you are a scourge upon University of Texas athletics. the sharp decline in the three major sports coincides with your hipster cowboy pixie ass showing up on campus. you are objectively terrible as a pxp announcer, and are the absolute worst pxp guy in all of college basketball. that is a fact. you make Bill Walton look like Jim Nantz, and at least Walton is a color guy who has the decency to wait u til most of america is asleep before slowly murdering is too death with his own endless inanities.

you might be a nice guy, and a great family man, with lifelong friends all over the 40 acres, but when comes to you doing your job, you make people miserable, and you should feel bad about that. thank fucking god that our joining the SEC means getting rid of you. i would rather watch Baylor play Marquette in this year's national title game than to have to listen to you call a UT basketball game ever again. as a person, i don't like you, but i wish you well. as the voice of UT Hoops on TV, get fucked, you fucking jack in the box ass motherfucker. 

[ztejas 43503]

There was a change in possession in the 2nd half where I couldn't tell what had happened - i.e. offensive foul away from the ball or 5 second rule - and I think "oh well maybe the announcers will let me know what happened"

Nope. They're too busy talking about what to nickname the new stadium and waxing on about the history of the erwin center like anyone gives a fuck about any of that shit in the middle of a conference basketball game. 

I mean - they go multiple possession stretches at a time without saying anything about what's happening on the court. 

Oh - and then at the end of the game - Lowell goes fucking crazy when Licon scores and I'm like... dude... this guy has played meaningful stretches of basketball for us this season. He isn't some kid's cousin that has Downe's Syndrome.

Edited February 6, 2022 by ztejas

[shadow_operative 15932]

10 minutes ago, ztejas said:

There was a change in possession in the 2nd half where I couldn't tell what had happened - i.e. offensive foul away from the ball or 5 second rule - and I think "oh well maybe the announcers will let me know what happened"

Nope. They're too busy talking about what to nickname the new stadium and waxing on about the history of the erwin center like anyone gives a fuck about any of that shit in the middle of a conference basketball game. 

I mean - they go multiple possession stretches at a time without saying anything about what's happening on the court. 

Oh - and then at the end of the game - Lowell goes fucking crazy when Licon scores and I'm like... dude... this guy has played meaningful stretches of basketball for us this season. He isn't some kid's cousin that has Downe's Syndrome.

oh my god all of this. every bit of it. i myself said exactly what you just said: "Lowell. This isn't Yair Harari. This guy has played meaningful minutes in conference play for this team." meanwhile Lowell is screaming so loud he's fucking up the audio. "PUT NUMBER 12 IN THE RAFTERS." i'd like to hang your stupid ass from the rafters and leave you there Lowell.

[shadow_operative 15932]

 

start at 2:54. John Mayer = Lowell; everyone else = Texas basketball fans.

 

[ztejas 43503]

God damn the Chappelle show was so funny. 

[Deej 76847]

On 1/3/2022 at 9:08 PM, Porterhouse said:

I don’t know how you can separate the TV personality from the person. Listen to all the Madden lauding going on right now. A common theme is he was affable off the air - the same person basically. For Galindo to be something totally different off the air makes him worse in my mind. 

To answer your original question, let’s go Lowell as PBP and to complete the worst booth ever, let’s go with Eddie Oran as the color guy and Bitter White Guy to be the yuk monkey. 

Eddie fucking Oran. Always sounded drunker than Tom Penders.

[Ignatius 4017]

On 12/27/2021 at 9:31 PM, TrashMaster G said:

Schoening is a pxp guy and one of the very best.  He's been the voice of the Spurs since he left UT.  Nothing bizarre about missing him.

Lol Bill Schoening’s first gig in Texas was in Lamesa; he was the PXP guy there from the time I was in 7th grade through my sophomore year, when he left for Sam Houston State. He was my Babe Ruth League coach for two years during the summer. One night he locked his keys in his car (pretty sure it was a Corolla?) on a Saturday night and, faced with the prospect of not finding a locksmith in Dawson County until 9AM Monday, fired a cinder block through his passenger-side window and went home….

[shadow_operative 15932]

On 2/5/2022 at 10:13 PM, shadow_operative said:

i'm (trying to) watch the ISU game on my DVR, and this piece of shit Lowell will not SHUT THE FUCK UP. oh my god, what is wrong with whoever is in charge of these broadcasts? we come back from a second half commercial, it's a tight game that's important for both teams, and before anyone can just watch any action, Lowell just jumps right in like it's a studio show with his classic, interminable question asking.

"Lance, this is a big game for both teams, but i'm not sure you can say which team this is a bigger game for. Texas is obviously in a better spot in the conference, sitting at 5-4, but i think that both teams are still in great position to make the tournament. Texas, with their schedule coming up having four games still to play against Baylor and Kansas, Texas needs a win to stay ahead of that curve in the conference. but Iowa State, they don't want to fall down to 3-7 in conference play either. but again,  it hate still in a good spot ncaa tourney wise, and still have several big games left to play. so, in a weird way, this is a game that's both a must-win, and at the same time, if you lose this one it doesn't really matter all that much."

Lowell: SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP!!! you are a play by play guy, on television no less. your job is to accentuate the action that's on the screen in front of us, not to ask a never ending gaggle of meandering, pointless, completely fucking inane questions so that you and Lance can talk over the entire goddamn broadcast! holy fucking shit man.

and speaking of these "questions", how in the fuck do you always manage to take 75 seconds to ask them?!? i use the term "ask" extremely loosely, because you always end up answering your own goddamn question and then making several other inane points and references before you even finish "asking" said "question". and then we get to hear Lance spend three minutes answering you! yippee!

Lowell, I hope you are reading this: you are a scourge upon University of Texas athletics. the sharp decline in the three major sports coincides with your hipster cowboy pixie ass showing up on campus. you are objectively terrible as a pxp announcer, and are the absolute worst pxp guy in all of college basketball. that is a fact. you make Bill Walton look like Jim Nantz, and at least Walton is a color guy who has the decency to wait u til most of america is asleep before slowly murdering is too death with his own endless inanities.

you might be a nice guy, and a great family man, with lifelong friends all over the 40 acres, but when comes to you doing your job, you make people miserable, and you should feel bad about that. thank fucking god that our joining the SEC means getting rid of you. i would rather watch Baylor play Marquette in this year's national title game than to have to listen to you call a UT basketball game ever again. as a person, i don't like you, but i wish you well. as the voice of UT Hoops on TV, get fucked, you fucking jack in the box ass motherfucker. 

rediscovering this thread, and i gotta say, i'm pretty proud of "hipster cowboy pixie". it's a very accurate description of lowell. i am thrilled that tonight's game will be 100% lowell-free.

[kingkoopa6 8372]

literally anyone other than galindo or a chinese lady who's never seen bball before.. haha