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Posted (edited)

Get to the Korean man they’re working for.  Only way this ends well. 
 

Serious question-what would win…a pack of homicidal monkeys or a pack of pit bulls bred to fight?  

Edited by Lobo
Posted
  On 12/17/2021 at 7:17 PM, Lobo said:

Get to the Korean man they’re working for.  Only way this ends well. 
 

Serious question-what would win…a pack of homicidal monkeys or a pack of pit bulls bred to fight?  

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What kind of monkeys?  I don't think the dogs would stand much of a chance against the larger monkey species like baboons.

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Posted

how many monkeys could you kill before they overwhelmed you?  bare hands.  i'm thinking 1.  maybe 2.  i've seen wild ones on the prowl.  when they attack as a group it's impressive.

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Posted
  On 12/17/2021 at 7:51 PM, gsoda3 said:

how many monkeys could you kill before they overwhelmed you?  bare hands.  i'm thinking 1.  maybe 2.  i've seen wild ones on the prowl.  when they attack as a group it's impressive.

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Depends on the monkey. For some, that answer is "zero"

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Posted
  On 12/17/2021 at 7:51 PM, gsoda3 said:

how many monkeys could you kill before they overwhelmed you?  bare hands.  i'm thinking 1.  maybe 2.  i've seen wild ones on the prowl.  when they attack as a group it's impressive.

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Shit, I imagine any monkey over 75 lbs would rip your face off if he had a mind to

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Posted
  On 12/17/2021 at 7:51 PM, gsoda3 said:

how many monkeys could you kill before they overwhelmed you?  bare hands.  i'm thinking 1.  maybe 2.  i've seen wild ones on the prowl.  when they attack as a group it's impressive.

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Depends. Do kill the first monkey and leave it be or do i kill it and then use it to beat the other monkeys?? Think i can get quite a few with the second choice. 

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Posted
  On 12/17/2021 at 8:00 PM, Ben Tobin said:

Shit, I imagine any monkey over 75 lbs would rip your face off if he had a mind to

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the monkeys i saw were about 40 pounds i'd say.  i got really nervous when my kids (all under 5 at the time) got anywhere within a few yards of them.  i was quite intimidated by them.

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Posted

doggocide aside, that's actually pretty badass of the monkeys.  i mean, how human is taking revenge waaaaaay too far?  better keep an eye on this pack and see if they start walking upright, drinking IPAs and starting conspiracy theory websites claiming that cats actually killed the infant monkeys and framed the dogs

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Posted
  On 12/17/2021 at 8:05 PM, gsoda3 said:

the monkeys i saw were about 40 pounds i'd say.  i got really nervous when my kids (all under 5 at the time) got anywhere within a few yards of them.  i was quite intimidated by them.

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Think about a really pissed off 40 lb dog. Now imagine that dog climbing up and riding you while he chews through your neck

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Posted
  On 12/17/2021 at 8:11 PM, gyroprotagonist said:

doggocide aside, that's actually pretty badass of the monkeys.  i mean, how human is taking revenge waaaaaay too far?  better keep an eye on this pack and see if they start walking upright, drinking IPAs and starting conspiracy theory websites claiming that cats actually killed the infant monkeys and framed the dogs

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Let's hope they don't find a VCR and a TV, get them to work, and then come cross a VHS copy of 'Faces of Death' where somebody out eating beats a monkey to death and eats its brains.

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Posted
  On 12/17/2021 at 8:32 PM, atomheartbevo said:

Let's hope they don't find a VCR and a TV, get them to work, and then come cross a VHS copy of 'Faces of Death' where somebody out eating beats a monkey to death and eats its brains.

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Indiana Jones and Temple of Doom dinner reception scene would start Planet of the Apes for sure

This story is just fascinating; are the monkey being vindictive and know they are going overboard?  Are they just completely eliminating a threat that killed one of their infants?  Where's Koko when you need her to ask these hard-hitting questions?  We know killer whales are yuge assholes and supreme dicks and kill shit for fun.

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Posted
  On 12/17/2021 at 8:48 PM, MC Fresh Breath said:

Better call Paw Patrol.

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Oh man, those fuckers cost me so much money over the years.  

I'd love it if some fanimator mini-episode where the town calls Ryder to come help with the dangerous monkeys in India's Adventure Bay.  "Chase, bring the monkey stun-gun, Everest, you cause a distraction to confuse the monkeys.  Rubble, you build a barricade the pups can hide behind.  Marshall, you triage the injured pups." etc., etc., etc. 

Then they show up in the Paw Patroller Transport, the bay door plops down...and all they see are blood-soaked monkeys standing over mutilated dog carcasses with collars drooping from their meat-filled mouths.  The alpha monkey makes eye contact with Chase, points to him with his monkey fist holding a still-beating poodle heart, and belts out a scream to the rest of the monkey pack letting them know fresh meat has arrived.  The paw patrol's faces drop down in horror, they don't even bother to get into their specialized vehicles, they accept their fate, and Robo-Dog shoots each one with a shotgun---old yeller style---before the monkeys can begin the disembowelment by hand process.  

Posted (edited)
  On 12/17/2021 at 8:24 PM, DaggerHorns said:

1) Semi Auto Bullup Shotgun

2) Helmet with good face mask

3) That scuba diving chain link shark suit shit

4) Machete

…send me in.

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  On 12/17/2021 at 8:47 PM, Pescado_Rojo said:

I think you either gotta kick its ass or fuck it into submission. 

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Daggerhorns, your mission should you choose to accept it......we wont judge either way.

Edited by Blotto
Posted
  On 12/17/2021 at 7:17 PM, Lobo said:

Get to the Korean man they’re working for.  Only way this ends well. 
 

Serious question-what would win…a pack of homicidal monkeys or a pack of pit bulls bred to fight?  

Expand  

Thats the best and most thought-provoking question you've ever asked. 

Posted

Easy brutha', the fact you think that's a thought-provoking question don't shine too kindly on either of us.  ;)  

Well, we all shine on.  Like the moon and the stars and the sun.  

Packs of killer monkees may as well happen in 2021.  To a shinier and new 2022.  

 

Posted (edited)

Also, I don't mean to make light of what happened in 2021.  I know it was a very painful year for you Immortal13.  Just have to laugh at what a crazy end-cap to the year.  God bless you and your family in 2022 and forever.  

But seriously?  I just did not have roving Monkey street gangs in India on my Bingo Card.  I mean, I did...but an asshole monkey stole my dabber and in some sort of weird proof of dominance shoved it up the ass of the monkey next to him.  And then they both walked off to the prize booth like nothing had happened.  I mean, who the fuck does that?  

Edited by Lobo

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