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Pack of Monkeys kill 250 dogs

GreenspointTexas

By GreenspointTexas
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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Get to the Korean man they’re working for.  Only way this ends well. 
 

Serious question-what would win…a pack of homicidal monkeys or a pack of pit bulls bred to fight?  

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Gene Parmesan

Gene Parmesan 4008

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19 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Get to the Korean man they’re working for.  Only way this ends well. 
 

Serious question-what would win…a pack of homicidal monkeys or a pack of pit bulls bred to fight?  

What kind of monkeys?  I don't think the dogs would stand much of a chance against the larger monkey species like baboons.

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Foosters

Foosters 17860

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6 minutes ago, gsoda3 said:

how many monkeys could you kill before they overwhelmed you?  bare hands.  i'm thinking 1.  maybe 2.  i've seen wild ones on the prowl.  when they attack as a group it's impressive.

Depends on the monkey. For some, that answer is "zero"

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Ben Tobin

Ben Tobin 374

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7 minutes ago, gsoda3 said:

how many monkeys could you kill before they overwhelmed you?  bare hands.  i'm thinking 1.  maybe 2.  i've seen wild ones on the prowl.  when they attack as a group it's impressive.

Shit, I imagine any monkey over 75 lbs would rip your face off if he had a mind to

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BERT

BERT 4380

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7 minutes ago, gsoda3 said:

how many monkeys could you kill before they overwhelmed you?  bare hands.  i'm thinking 1.  maybe 2.  i've seen wild ones on the prowl.  when they attack as a group it's impressive.

Depends. Do kill the first monkey and leave it be or do i kill it and then use it to beat the other monkeys?? Think i can get quite a few with the second choice. 

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gsoda3

gsoda3 3277

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3 minutes ago, Ben Tobin said:

Shit, I imagine any monkey over 75 lbs would rip your face off if he had a mind to

the monkeys i saw were about 40 pounds i'd say.  i got really nervous when my kids (all under 5 at the time) got anywhere within a few yards of them.  i was quite intimidated by them.

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gyroprotagonist

gyroprotagonist 2594

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doggocide aside, that's actually pretty badass of the monkeys.  i mean, how human is taking revenge waaaaaay too far?  better keep an eye on this pack and see if they start walking upright, drinking IPAs and starting conspiracy theory websites claiming that cats actually killed the infant monkeys and framed the dogs

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Ben Tobin

Ben Tobin 374

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4 minutes ago, gsoda3 said:

the monkeys i saw were about 40 pounds i'd say.  i got really nervous when my kids (all under 5 at the time) got anywhere within a few yards of them.  i was quite intimidated by them.

Think about a really pissed off 40 lb dog. Now imagine that dog climbing up and riding you while he chews through your neck

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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 89771

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20 minutes ago, gyroprotagonist said:

doggocide aside, that's actually pretty badass of the monkeys.  i mean, how human is taking revenge waaaaaay too far?  better keep an eye on this pack and see if they start walking upright, drinking IPAs and starting conspiracy theory websites claiming that cats actually killed the infant monkeys and framed the dogs

Let's hope they don't find a VCR and a TV, get them to work, and then come cross a VHS copy of 'Faces of Death' where somebody out eating beats a monkey to death and eats its brains.

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gyroprotagonist

gyroprotagonist 2594

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1 minute ago, atomheartbevo said:

Let's hope they don't find a VCR and a TV, get them to work, and then come cross a VHS copy of 'Faces of Death' where somebody out eating beats a monkey to death and eats its brains.

Indiana Jones and Temple of Doom dinner reception scene would start Planet of the Apes for sure

This story is just fascinating; are the monkey being vindictive and know they are going overboard?  Are they just completely eliminating a threat that killed one of their infants?  Where's Koko when you need her to ask these hard-hitting questions?  We know killer whales are yuge assholes and supreme dicks and kill shit for fun.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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1 minute ago, MC Fresh Breath said:

Better call Paw Patrol.

Oh man, those fuckers cost me so much money over the years.  

I'd love it if some fanimator mini-episode where the town calls Ryder to come help with the dangerous monkeys in India's Adventure Bay.  "Chase, bring the monkey stun-gun, Everest, you cause a distraction to confuse the monkeys.  Rubble, you build a barricade the pups can hide behind.  Marshall, you triage the injured pups." etc., etc., etc. 

Then they show up in the Paw Patroller Transport, the bay door plops down...and all they see are blood-soaked monkeys standing over mutilated dog carcasses with collars drooping from their meat-filled mouths.  The alpha monkey makes eye contact with Chase, points to him with his monkey fist holding a still-beating poodle heart, and belts out a scream to the rest of the monkey pack letting them know fresh meat has arrived.  The paw patrol's faces drop down in horror, they don't even bother to get into their specialized vehicles, they accept their fate, and Robo-Dog shoots each one with a shotgun---old yeller style---before the monkeys can begin the disembowelment by hand process.  

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Blotto

Blotto 23560

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Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, DaggerHorns said:

1) Semi Auto Bullup Shotgun

2) Helmet with good face mask

3) That scuba diving chain link shark suit shit

4) Machete

…send me in.

 

4 hours ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

I think you either gotta kick its ass or fuck it into submission. 

Daggerhorns, your mission should you choose to accept it......we wont judge either way.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Easy brutha', the fact you think that's a thought-provoking question don't shine too kindly on either of us.  ;)  

Well, we all shine on.  Like the moon and the stars and the sun.  

Packs of killer monkees may as well happen in 2021.  To a shinier and new 2022.  

 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Also, I don't mean to make light of what happened in 2021.  I know it was a very painful year for you Immortal13.  Just have to laugh at what a crazy end-cap to the year.  God bless you and your family in 2022 and forever.  

But seriously?  I just did not have roving Monkey street gangs in India on my Bingo Card.  I mean, I did...but an asshole monkey stole my dabber and in some sort of weird proof of dominance shoved it up the ass of the monkey next to him.  And then they both walked off to the prize booth like nothing had happened.  I mean, who the fuck does that?  

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