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Pack of Monkeys kill 250 dogs

GreenspointTexas

By GreenspointTexas
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AeroHorn

AeroHorn 754

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Posted
9 hours ago, Ben Tobin said:

Think about a really pissed off 40 lb dog. Now imagine that dog climbing up and riding you while he chews through your neck

They are dangerous and cannot be messed with. They are 5-10 times the weight of a cat and probably 10 times more lethal. And they operate in groups.

1 hour ago, Lobo said:

But seriously?  I just did not have roving Monkey street gangs in India on my Bingo Card. 

Roving monkey street gangs are extremely common in India. Even 40 years back when I was a kid, these monkeys would organize as a group (10-20) and drop into my grandparents' backyard where the kitchen is. All the people immediately vacate that area as some of the monkeys raid the kitchen while the other monkeys stand guard. The whole operation was very efficient, and they are gone in 2 minutes. 

1.jpg

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Sounds like South Asians need to start packing heat.  If the monkeys truly learn, their  dead bodies will be a lesson.

You ain't just waltzin in here and taking my brisket...

Edited by slorch
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Superhero

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19 hours ago, gsoda3 said:

the monkeys i saw were about 40 pounds i'd say.  i got really nervous when my kids (all under 5 at the time) got anywhere within a few yards of them.  i was quite intimidated by them.

Wife and I went to Bali for our honeymoon. We heard about the monkey park and wanted to see it.

Outside the park, there was a guy selling bananas so we could feed them. We bought a dozen or so thinking we would stop to feed a few and take pictures.

As soon as we walked past the gate, about 30 monkeys charged at us. We threw all the bananas into a bush and they went after them. It was a holy shit moment for us. 

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fattyflattie

fattyflattie 4638

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44 minutes ago, tbone_ said:


Of course just stand there laughing and filming instead of helping the fucking guy

Well, dude kinda provoked it.  Not going to lie, if there’s a little monkey putting an asswhipping on one of my buddies, I’m probably going to take a moment and enjoy it. I’d kick it if it started face removing and whatnot. 

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Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

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10 minutes ago, fattyflattie said:

Well, dude kinda provoked it.  Not going to lie, if there’s a little monkey putting an asswhipping on one of my buddies, I’m probably going to take a moment and enjoy it. I’d kick it if it started face removing and whatnot. 

Damn, you'd be walking away from mucho streaming revenue.... just saying.

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honolulu horn

honolulu horn 6165

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Was with the fam in South Africa and the kids begged to go to Monkey Jungle, an enclosed park where you wander around and check out lemurs, monkeys, etc. We knew to keep our stuff close and so we kept tight grips on backpacks, cameras, phones, etc. We were nearing the end of the walk when this sneaky little bastard starting eyeing us:

monkey.jpg.01e567be52fd7c71c095ae2ca7177175.jpg

In less than 2 seconds that little spider monkey  jumped onto my wife, ripped the glasses from her face, and tore off up a tree. My wife is basically blind without her glasses, and we were leaving the country in 2 days so there was not enough time to get a replacement pair. I kept my eye on the little thief, which included him trying the glasses on and looking through them. After a few minutes of biting them, hitting them on the tree, etc he got bored and threw them on the ground from about 30 feet up. I snatched them up and miraculously they weren't broken. So my wife now wears glasses with monkey bites on the frames. Telephoto pic of the primate thief wearing her glasses: 

526901613_monkeyglasses.jpg.b531a4408ed17f2db732163f293af045.jpg

 

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Guest Lobo

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1 hour ago, honolulu horn said:

Was with the fam in South Africa and the kids begged to go to Monkey Jungle, an enclosed park where you wander around and check out lemurs, monkeys, etc. We knew to keep our stuff close and so we kept tight grips on backpacks, cameras, phones, etc. We were nearing the end of the walk when this sneaky little bastard starting eyeing us:

monkey.jpg.01e567be52fd7c71c095ae2ca7177175.jpg

In less than 2 seconds that little spider monkey  jumped onto my wife, ripped the glasses from her face, and tore off up a tree. My wife is basically blind without her glasses, and we were leaving the country in 2 days so there was not enough time to get a replacement pair. I kept my eye on the little thief, which included him trying the glasses on and looking through them. After a few minutes of biting them, hitting them on the tree, etc he got bored and threw them on the ground from about 30 feet up. I snatched them up and miraculously they weren't broken. So my wife now wears glasses with monkey bites on the frames. Telephoto pic of the primate thief wearing her glasses: 

526901613_monkeyglasses.jpg.b531a4408ed17f2db732163f293af045.jpg

 

You want, I got a cousin who is an optometrist.  I got another one who does wet work in zoology.  I could get a bonobo to make an example of that monkey in a painful and public fashion.    And then a backup pair of travel eye glasses for your wife.  All-in, turnkey.   $3700

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6 hours ago, Bobby_Batronic said:

I’ve got an idea about handling the feral pig population in Texas….

and if they kill a man for trying to fuck em, we can start in Brazos County...

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Sawbonz

Sawbonz 27580

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7 hours ago, tbone_ said:


Of course just stand there laughing and filming instead of helping the fucking guy

No idea what language that was but I know his buddy filming was taunting him and calling him a pussy to egg him into the confrontation with the monkey

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Bobby_Batronic

Bobby_Batronic 1994

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Posted (edited)
14 hours ago, slorch said:

and if they kill a man for trying to fuck em, we can start in Brazos County...

I dunno, the offender might just show them a picture of the list eater and have the monkeys understand the natural o predicament male residents of Brazos county are in. Shit, in that context I almost understand the sheep shenanigans. 

Edited by Bobby_Batronic
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Longhornstampede

Longhornstampede 3185

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On 12/17/2021 at 11:48 PM, AeroHorn said:

They are dangerous and cannot be messed with. They are 5-10 times the weight of a cat and probably 10 times more lethal. And they operate in groups.

Roving monkey street gangs are extremely common in India. Even 40 years back when I was a kid, these monkeys would organize as a group (10-20) and drop into my grandparents' backyard where the kitchen is. All the people immediately vacate that area as some of the monkeys raid the kitchen while the other monkeys stand guard. The whole operation was very efficient, and they are gone in 2 minutes. 

1.jpg

So....what came first? The monkey or the gypsy at the ER?

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Harrison Bergeron

Harrison Bergeron 1798

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On 12/17/2021 at 11:48 PM, AeroHorn said:

They are dangerous and cannot be messed with. They are 5-10 times the weight of a cat and probably 10 times more lethal. And they operate in groups.

Roving monkey street gangs are extremely common in India. Even 40 years back when I was a kid, these monkeys would organize as a group (10-20) and drop into my grandparents' backyard where the kitchen is. All the people immediately vacate that area as some of the monkeys raid the kitchen while the other monkeys stand guard. The whole operation was very efficient, and they are gone in 2 minutes. 

1.jpg

They moved to SF & LA and upgraded to Gucci stores?

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mchookem

mchookem 16344

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On 12/17/2021 at 11:48 PM, AeroHorn said:

They are dangerous and cannot be messed with. They are 5-10 times the weight of a cat and probably 10 times more lethal. And they operate in groups.

Roving monkey street gangs are extremely common in India. Even 40 years back when I was a kid, these monkeys would organize as a group (10-20) and drop into my grandparents' backyard where the kitchen is. All the people immediately vacate that area as some of the monkeys raid the kitchen while the other monkeys stand guard. The whole operation was very efficient, and they are gone in 2 minutes. 

1.jpg

i keep rereading this and picturing it and lmao 😄 

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