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Posted
  On 12/17/2021 at 8:12 PM, Ben Tobin said:

Think about a really pissed off 40 lb dog. Now imagine that dog climbing up and riding you while he chews through your neck

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They are dangerous and cannot be messed with. They are 5-10 times the weight of a cat and probably 10 times more lethal. And they operate in groups.

  On 12/18/2021 at 4:00 AM, Lobo said:

But seriously?  I just did not have roving Monkey street gangs in India on my Bingo Card. 

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Roving monkey street gangs are extremely common in India. Even 40 years back when I was a kid, these monkeys would organize as a group (10-20) and drop into my grandparents' backyard where the kitchen is. All the people immediately vacate that area as some of the monkeys raid the kitchen while the other monkeys stand guard. The whole operation was very efficient, and they are gone in 2 minutes. 

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Posted (edited)

Sounds like South Asians need to start packing heat.  If the monkeys truly learn, their  dead bodies will be a lesson.

You ain't just waltzin in here and taking my brisket...

Edited by slorch
Posted
  On 12/18/2021 at 5:52 PM, tbone_ said:


Of course just stand there laughing and filming instead of helping the fucking guy

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Well, dude kinda provoked it.  Not going to lie, if there’s a little monkey putting an asswhipping on one of my buddies, I’m probably going to take a moment and enjoy it. I’d kick it if it started face removing and whatnot. 

Posted
  On 12/18/2021 at 6:37 PM, fattyflattie said:

Well, dude kinda provoked it.  Not going to lie, if there’s a little monkey putting an asswhipping on one of my buddies, I’m probably going to take a moment and enjoy it. I’d kick it if it started face removing and whatnot. 

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Damn, you'd be walking away from mucho streaming revenue.... just saying.

Posted
  On 12/18/2021 at 11:11 PM, honolulu horn said:

Was with the fam in South Africa and the kids begged to go to Monkey Jungle, an enclosed park where you wander around and check out lemurs, monkeys, etc. We knew to keep our stuff close and so we kept tight grips on backpacks, cameras, phones, etc. We were nearing the end of the walk when this sneaky little bastard starting eyeing us:

monkey.jpg.01e567be52fd7c71c095ae2ca7177175.jpg

In less than 2 seconds that little spider monkey  jumped onto my wife, ripped the glasses from her face, and tore off up a tree. My wife is basically blind without her glasses, and we were leaving the country in 2 days so there was not enough time to get a replacement pair. I kept my eye on the little thief, which included him trying the glasses on and looking through them. After a few minutes of biting them, hitting them on the tree, etc he got bored and threw them on the ground from about 30 feet up. I snatched them up and miraculously they weren't broken. So my wife now wears glasses with monkey bites on the frames. Telephoto pic of the primate thief wearing her glasses: 

526901613_monkeyglasses.jpg.b531a4408ed17f2db732163f293af045.jpg

 

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You want, I got a cousin who is an optometrist.  I got another one who does wet work in zoology.  I could get a bonobo to make an example of that monkey in a painful and public fashion.    And then a backup pair of travel eye glasses for your wife.  All-in, turnkey.   $3700

Posted
  On 12/18/2021 at 6:20 PM, Bobby_Batronic said:

I’ve got an idea about handling the feral pig population in Texas….

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and if they kill a man for trying to fuck em, we can start in Brazos County...

Posted

 

  On 12/18/2021 at 5:52 PM, tbone_ said:


Of course just stand there laughing and filming instead of helping the fucking guy

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No idea what language that was but I know his buddy filming was taunting him and calling him a pussy to egg him into the confrontation with the monkey

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Posted (edited)
  On 12/19/2021 at 1:19 AM, slorch said:

and if they kill a man for trying to fuck em, we can start in Brazos County...

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I dunno, the offender might just show them a picture of the list eater and have the monkeys understand the natural o predicament male residents of Brazos county are in. Shit, in that context I almost understand the sheep shenanigans. 

Edited by Bobby_Batronic
Posted
  On 12/18/2021 at 5:48 AM, AeroHorn said:

They are dangerous and cannot be messed with. They are 5-10 times the weight of a cat and probably 10 times more lethal. And they operate in groups.

Roving monkey street gangs are extremely common in India. Even 40 years back when I was a kid, these monkeys would organize as a group (10-20) and drop into my grandparents' backyard where the kitchen is. All the people immediately vacate that area as some of the monkeys raid the kitchen while the other monkeys stand guard. The whole operation was very efficient, and they are gone in 2 minutes. 

1.jpg

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So....what came first? The monkey or the gypsy at the ER?

Posted
  On 12/18/2021 at 5:48 AM, AeroHorn said:

They are dangerous and cannot be messed with. They are 5-10 times the weight of a cat and probably 10 times more lethal. And they operate in groups.

Roving monkey street gangs are extremely common in India. Even 40 years back when I was a kid, these monkeys would organize as a group (10-20) and drop into my grandparents' backyard where the kitchen is. All the people immediately vacate that area as some of the monkeys raid the kitchen while the other monkeys stand guard. The whole operation was very efficient, and they are gone in 2 minutes. 

1.jpg

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They moved to SF & LA and upgraded to Gucci stores?

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Posted

I tried to find a free clip, but one does not exist of Thomas Lennon and Michael Ian Black broadcasting their talk show about "Monkey Torture" from 'The State'

Posted
  On 12/18/2021 at 5:48 AM, AeroHorn said:

They are dangerous and cannot be messed with. They are 5-10 times the weight of a cat and probably 10 times more lethal. And they operate in groups.

Roving monkey street gangs are extremely common in India. Even 40 years back when I was a kid, these monkeys would organize as a group (10-20) and drop into my grandparents' backyard where the kitchen is. All the people immediately vacate that area as some of the monkeys raid the kitchen while the other monkeys stand guard. The whole operation was very efficient, and they are gone in 2 minutes. 

1.jpg

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i keep rereading this and picturing it and lmao 😄 

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