American Happiness Reaches Five-decade Low

[CHIEF 5052]

10 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Bullshit.  I remember back when you had hair and could eat all the okra you wanted with no ill effects.

I'm gonna plant an extra row, just for that remark. Also, let me know if you need some ducks for gumbo, we slayed them this year.

CHIEF

[tbone_ 14016]

The pursuit of happiness is folly because it’s not something you attain. It’s simply a choice you make. It really is that simple.

Doesn’t help though that we are constantly bombarded with messages about how unhappy, outraged, pissed, whatever we are supposed to me. Ignore that shit. Waste of energy.

[Wally Fairway 5507]

6 hours ago, 52-80 said:

no surprise

people are fucking psychotic and neurotic

everything is a conspiracy or offensive etc etc

And people who have a different opinion should be punished

4 hours ago, BabaYaga said:

It's a medium of minimal to zero consequences.  Allowing people to talk shit and say things they'd NEVER say face to face.  

Fuck you, you fucking idiot

3 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:

Must resist urge not to address religion…must resist.

Religion has killed spirituality; speaking from experience of escaping the cult of Catholicism

 

[Trey3216 15321]

7 hours ago, Celery Man said:

also 900,000 people have died in a pandemic we haven't been able to unite around over 2 full fucking years. And yes of course this is a cloak conversation because the attacks on our government, the beating of an America divided into two realities that have almost no overlap, the devolution of political discourse even among our elected officials, the attacks on our schools (purposefully leaving that vague enough to be relevant for people who are flipping out in either reality), etc etc

Nice to see everyone was able to have a pretty reasonable conversation in this thread other than one person who decided it needed to be cloaked as soon as Lobo put a timer on it.  Pat yourself on the back

[washparkhorn 9931]

May of 2020 (when the subject poll was taken) feels like a decade ago. 

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

1 minute ago, washparkhorn said:

May of 2020 (when the subject poll was taken) feels like a decade ago. 

Damn. If this was in May of 2020, I'm guessing it's dropped significantly since then.

[washparkhorn 9931]

3 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Damn. If this was in May of 2020, I'm guessing it's dropped significantly since then.

Agree. Dropped for some; increased for others. Inquiring minds would like current data. 

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

1 minute ago, washparkhorn said:

Agree. Dropped for some; increased for others. Inquiring minds would like current data. 

You think after 2 years of a pandemic people are happier? I appreciate your optimism. 

[washparkhorn 9931]

3 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

You think after 2 years of a pandemic people are happier? I appreciate your optimism. 

I remain a permabull. Buy the dip. 
 

May 2020 was rather dark. 

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

[Dahobbs 17408]

I'm surprised. You'd think free to access to thousands of petabytes of porn, catered to every fetish imaginable, would make society a bit happier. 

[Hate 20095]

You think after 2 years of a pandemic people are happier? I appreciate your optimism. 

I am. I began the pandemic still out of work. I’m almost two years into a very fulfilling role. I hated where I worked before this for 12 years. I’m much happier now.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, tbone_ said:

The pursuit of happiness is folly because it’s not something you attain. It’s simply a choice you make. It really is that simple.

Doesn’t help though that we are constantly bombarded with messages about how unhappy, outraged, pissed, whatever we are supposed to me. Ignore that shit. Waste of energy.

Post of the Day.

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

1 minute ago, Hate said:

I am. I began the pandemic still out of work. I’m almost two years into a very fulfilling role. I hated where I worked before this for 12 years. I’m much happier now.

Very cool, man.

[pronghorn 44]

this has been my secret to happiness lately.

 

[Hate 20095]

Damn, I thought she was going to set those RATS free and that was your source of happiness.

[deadshank 24648]

27 minutes ago, Dahobbs said:

I'm surprised. You'd think free to access to thousands of petabytes of porn, catered to every fetish imaginable, would make society a bit happier. 

I know you are being facetious and this will not be a popular opinion for some here but porn ain't gonna make one happy. 

No way. No how. 

It may leave one wanting more, more often and more weird but that ain't happiness or fulfillment in any way.

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

I am. I began the pandemic still out of work. I’m almost two years into a very fulfilling role. I hated where I worked before this for 12 years. I’m much happier now.

Similar. I got laid off because of the Russia/SA OPEC shit and COVID in April 2020. Didn’t find work until august 2021. Job is going well. I think I am happier. At the very least, I am less stressed thinking about money.

[atomheartbevo 89304]

6 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Yes, there were always the vacuous rich drinking $500 bottles of champagne and driving Bentleys and shit, but we didn't see them, and didn't idolize them.  Our entertainment models -- mostly TV shows -- were usually about regular people/regular families.  Hell, even the well-to-do families in such shows were often from humble backgrounds, or stuff like that.  

Pro athletes.  Back in the '80s and 90s, All we we knew was where they were from, who they played for in college, and who they were playing for in the pro leagues.  Occasionally one would get in trouble or whatever and you'd catch a glimpse of their lifestyle, or you'd hear about a fancy/famous marriage or they bought their parents a house or whatever.  You'd get carefully-packaged little promos during playoffs or whatever showing what a crappy background they escaped, etc.  and how they were helping their community, etc. If you paid attention, you'd hear about their contracts.

Today?  We get daily updates from them on cars, jewelry, houses, vacations, etc. and we hear non-stop when they are getting a new contract, and how much it is, etc., and TMZ, etc. are staking them out and showing us the stuff the athletes/etc. don't.

A lot of kids in crummy situations would look towards pro sports as a way to get out of those situations.  Now it's about getting the fancy cars, the women, etc.

Same applies to Hollywood to a lesser extent.  Back in the day, we'd get (curated) glimpses in magazines, or stories in the tabloids that seemed a bit hard to believe.  Now, there's a thousand entertainment blogs/vlogs/etc. covering everything.

6 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

 I will suggest a glimmer of hope, though -- my kids and their peers don't really buy into or consume much of that.  They know it's bullshit. They know that "influencers" are fake.  They don't idolize gratuitous consumption.  They have a much better grasp on the truth that happiness comes from experiences and people, not stuff.  Sure, that's not everyone, and there's always been a strain of consumer greed in our society, but I hypothesize that we're seeing its worst at its peak right now.

I've got a few friends whose kids are not that enlightened, and are resentful that their parents don't have more, etc., but yeah, a lot of kids are cynical as hell and able to see through a lot of the influencer shit.  It helps that a lot of the influencers are just annoying twats.

[Brisketexan 104228]

2 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

 

I've got a few friends whose kids are not that enlightened, and are resentful that their parents don't have more, etc., but yeah, a lot of kids are cynical as hell and able to see through a lot of the influencer shit.  It helps that a lot of the influencers are just annoying twats.

I think the bolded part does a lot of the work for us.  My kids are helped specifically by the fact that we have an "influencer" who has a rather large following who lives on our block.....and the difference between the picture she/they pain on their gram vs. the reality we see by living by them is STARK, and my kids see plainly "oh....so this is all bullshit."

[Hefeweizen 5306]

9 hours ago, StruggleBus said:

I’m happy. Y’all can go fuck yourselves 

I’ll be happy when Everyone is unhappy.

[Harrison Bergeron 1798]

3 hours ago, tbone_ said:

The pursuit of happiness is folly because it’s not something you attain. It’s simply a choice you make. It really is that simple.

Doesn’t help though that we are constantly bombarded with messages about how unhappy, outraged, pissed, whatever we are supposed to me. Ignore that shit. Waste of energy.

So true. In the historical and global context, 2022 America is not a bad place to be for 95% of the population, and for the 5% similar circumstances in most every other place in the world would be exponentially worse. I think there too is something that when there are not real things to worried about - in a historical / global context - we have the free time to contemplate reasons to be miserable, angry, unhappy, etc.

[Celery Man 20832]

1 hour ago, Patricio Swayze said:

Similar. I got laid off because of the Russia/SA OPEC shit and COVID in April 2020. Didn’t find work until august 2021. Job is going well. I think I am happier. At the very least, I am less stressed thinking about money.

Glad to hear that, very genuinely

[Brisketexan 104228]

1 minute ago, Harrison Bergeron said:

So true. In the historical and global context, 2022 America is not a bad place to be for 95% of the population, and for the 5% similar circumstances in most every other place in the world would be exponentially worse. I think there too is something that when there are not real things to worried about - in a historical / global context - we have the free time to contemplate reasons to be miserable, angry, unhappy, etc.

You're not wrong.

BUT.....our psychology is still that of a primate.  We can't help it.  It's the same reason you'll do stupid things to get laid, and can't help but check out the gorgeous woman walking by.  And that means we don't judge our situation relative to a past, or a place, we've never experienced.  Yes, we have it better than 1) our great grandparents in the Dust Bowl etc. had it, and 2) the average person in Bangladesh today has it.  But that doesn't matter.  Because we judge ourselves and our circumstances against our peers/fellow Americans.

A hungry monkey is happy as hell to get the gift of a cucumber slice.  He is much better off than he was before the cucumber was available.  BUT, give his neighbor a tasty grape, and the monkey who got the shitty cucumber is not just disappointed, he's pissed:

 

Inequality matters to human happiness.  You can try to argue against it rationally, but rational don't make a shit.  Reality is what it is.

[CHIEF 5052]

1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:

I think the bolded part does a lot of the work for us.  My kids are helped specifically by the fact that we have an "influencer" who has a rather large following who lives on our block.....and the difference between the picture she/they pain on their gram vs. the reality we see by living by them is STARK, and my kids see plainly "oh....so this is all bullshit."

Same. CHIEF Jr. has a kid he graduated with that has a few million Tiki's-Tok followers. He is worth probably seven or eight figures. He comes over here, he is just another "Snot nose". He comes by every time he is in town, I think he just likes being treated as another one of the kids. He started on Vine, so he was one of the first Tiki's-Tok influencers. His shit is unfunny to me, but I am an "Old". He says he is always happiest, here, or at home. Everyone has their own perspective. You choose your happiness.

CHIEF

[Harrison Bergeron 1798]

50 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

You're not wrong.

BUT.....our psychology is still that of a primate.  We can't help it.  It's the same reason you'll do stupid things to get laid, and can't help but check out the gorgeous woman walking by.  And that means we don't judge our situation relative to a past, or a place, we've never experienced.  Yes, we have it better than 1) our great grandparents in the Dust Bowl etc. had it, and 2) the average person in Bangladesh today has it.  But that doesn't matter.  Because we judge ourselves and our circumstances against our peers/fellow Americans.

A hungry monkey is happy as hell to get the gift of a cucumber slice.  He is much better off than he was before the cucumber was available.  BUT, give his neighbor a tasty grape, and the monkey who got the shitty cucumber is not just disappointed, he's pissed:

 

Inequality matters to human happiness.  You can try to argue against it rationally, but rational don't make a shit.  Reality is what it is.

A recent study from the California Institute of Technology (lay explanation here) seems to bear that out: 

Fear really is contagious, and scientists say having more people around you for support won’t help. So much for “strength in numbers.” Researchers from the California Institute of Technology used a haunted house experience with 17 rooms containing various spooky threats during their experiment. They found people were actually more scared when the group walking through the house was larger. The team also found that their fear built up and increased as people moved from room to room. Scientists say when faced with fear, people are more likely to have a heightened physical response when other people are around. This “phasic effect” involves rapid changes the body experiences as it responds to an event and is more likely to happen when other people are dealing with the same thing.

I agree that most people lack the ability to historically or globally contextualize their situations - virtually everyone always thinks of the bigger home than theirs and not the mobile home down the street. However, I would offer we do ourselves no favors by going "Spinal Tap 11" on every issue. At least around politics and culture, every issue seems to be couched as a crisis and risks global thermonuclear war.

I agree with you that inequality matters, but I am not sure how much. I did a quick Brave search, and there are some interesting articles:

1. Europe and Americans - In Europe, inequality is a more significant driver of happiness, particularly among the poor and those on the left. In America, inequality's relation to happiness is more a function of being rich and less impactful among the poor.
2. Global Study - Not really sure how to digest the country rankings ... Uzbekistan ranked #1 feels odd.
3. Happiness is not a result of comparison

I'm probably wrong, but I think happiness ultimately is a function of looking inward than outward. Suicide rates seem to bear this out, assuming suicide rates are a measure of ultimate unhappiness. There is not a correlation between inequality or economics and rates of suicide ... I'm too tired to Brave it, but I IIRC it actually is the opposite: suicide rates tend to be higher among the wealthy.

Edited February 3, 2022 by Harrison Bergeron

[Brisketexan 104228]

9 minutes ago, Harrison Bergeron said:

I'm probably wrong, but I think happiness ultimately is a function of looking inward than outward. Suicide rates seem to bear this out, assuming suicide rates are a measure of ultimate unhappiness. There is not a correlation between inequality or economics and rates of suicide ... I'm too tired to Brave it, but I IIRC it actually is the opposite: suicide rates tend to be higher among the wealthy.

I don't think this is wrong as all.  I think it's almost certainly right.  "Mo money, mo problems" isn't a lie.  I know plenty of truly happy people who are of modest means -- some of them are even what we'd think of as poor.  

If I tie my happiness to what other people have, then when I see my neighbor with an iphone 13, I will not be happy because I have an iphone X.  BUT, if I judge my happiness based on what I have without comparison.....I have a phone that does everything I need it to do, works great, and all that jazz.  Why shouldn't I be happy with it?  There's all kinds of pithy sayings out there about being happy with what you have, not what you don't have, all that jazz.  And I think those sayings exist because there's some easy truth to them.

And, as someone who is on the higher end of the money bracket than most of the world, I can honestly say that the things that make me happiest generally aren't big-dollar things.  Yes, I love an expensive meal.....but I love barbecue with friends, cooked at home.  I love a pot of red beans and rice -- again, best shared with friends.  I love travel, and enjoy some that's expensive (a trip to Europe is a luxury, I know that), but again, even when overseas, our best experiences are simple -- dinner with friends, seeing a beautiful new city, muddling around in a different language and laughing about it.  

Money can buy you security, which is important.  We don't worry about where our next meal is coming from, or whether we'll have a place to live next month.  Not having that security can make you very anxious and unhappy.  But once you clear the security threshold, money generally doesn't buy you happiness.  It can help with things, but one of the best days of your life can be a day on a public beach eating bologna sandwiches and drinking cheap beer and laughing your ass off with your family and friends, as opposed to lobster and champagne on a private beach.  I mean, I LIKE those things, but I sure as shit have been happy on the bologna sandwich and beer days, too.  So many of these things come back to 1) experiences 2) shared with other people.  And we've lost that perspective in this country (see my repeated mentions of toxic individuality).  We need community.  It's one of the only things that really matters.

[staboner 4955]

great thread. civil almost. my 2 cents

- America lacks a healthy spirituality. Those that "have it" and are proud to have it, are the least connected to themselves, nature and others. That void is big and I think helps to explain lots of the irrational behavior, mental health problems and the "wanting shit endlessly" drive that dominates society.

- social media (information age, whatever you want to call it). For sure. It has ironically made us lose our individuality. Think about that for a second. I would have never imagined that 10 or 15 years ago. People don't talk anymore, don't learn about others, don't ask questions, and don't hold back their endless tirade of judgement. Its a society of people walking around looking to "talk to" others. Its exactly the thing @bullzak commented on here on page 2. We are walking around with so much anxiety, thoughts on on the million other tid bits we read now daily, etc. that when a fresh conversation presents itself people will just sound like turds.

Our brains lack the ability to emotionally process this much information. We can scroll the internet and in 5 minutes are trying to digest it all, whether consciously or not. and that is dangerous. I have personally had this problem for some time and I have made changes during/after covid to take better care of myself. and you homies please do the same. 

[CHIEF 5052]

49 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

I don't think this is wrong as all.  I think it's almost certainly right.  "Mo money, mo problems" isn't a lie.  I know plenty of truly happy people who are of modest means -- some of them are even what we'd think of as poor.  

If I tie my happiness to what other people have, then when I see my neighbor with an iphone 13, I will not be happy because I have an iphone X.  BUT, if I judge my happiness based on what I have without comparison.....I have a phone that does everything I need it to do, works great, and all that jazz.  Why shouldn't I be happy with it?  There's all kinds of pithy sayings out there about being happy with what you have, not what you don't have, all that jazz.  And I think those sayings exist because there's some easy truth to them.

And, as someone who is on the higher end of the money bracket than most of the world, I can honestly say that the things that make me happiest generally aren't big-dollar things.  Yes, I love an expensive meal.....but I love barbecue with friends, cooked at home.  I love a pot of red beans and rice -- again, best shared with friends.  I love travel, and enjoy some that's expensive (a trip to Europe is a luxury, I know that), but again, even when overseas, our best experiences are simple -- dinner with friends, seeing a beautiful new city, muddling around in a different language and laughing about it.  

Money can buy you security, which is important.  We don't worry about where our next meal is coming from, or whether we'll have a place to live next month.  Not having that security can make you very anxious and unhappy.  But once you clear the security threshold, money generally doesn't buy you happiness.  It can help with things, but one of the best days of your life can be a day on a public beach eating bologna sandwiches and drinking cheap beer and laughing your ass off with your family and friends, as opposed to lobster and champagne on a private beach.  I mean, I LIKE those things, but I sure as shit have been happy on the bologna sandwich and beer days, too.  So many of these things come back to 1) experiences 2) shared with other people.  And we've lost that perspective in this country (see my repeated mentions of toxic individuality).  We need community.  It's one of the only things that really matters.

It's simply Maslow's Theory. Once your basic needs are met, though, I think it jumps past esteemed and straight to self-actualization. The best two weeks I have had, in the last two months, was two weeks with no TV, and limited internet. Just me and CHIEF Jr., in the middle of nowhere, hunting, bullshitting, not hitting a paved road for two weeks, eating Ramen for lunch, and looking at stars. Talk about a life reset.

CHIEF

[Brew 3006]

The world is turning into a bunch of over thinking jackasses in the middle of some sort of existential crisis trying to keep up with their internet “neighbors” with people constantly yelling at them on various “news” outlets about how pissed they should be about something that doesn’t affect their lives daily. Turn it off and just enjoy the fact you’re sitting where you’re sitting and it could always be worse.

I don’t consider myself a “happy” person, I think I’m too much of a realist to be “happy.” However, I don’t watch the news, have zero social media interaction, visit this website and ESPN and a couple of others and that’s about it, go to church on Sundays, and live my life. I figure I’ve got a pretty limited window to enjoy it (and that window feels like it’s rapidly closing the older I get), but I’m going to try and make something of my time here and not give two shits what anyone else thinks about my life choices. 

[F250 28623]

5 hours ago, deadshank said:

I know you are being facetious and this will not be a popular opinion for some here but porn ain't gonna make one happy. 

No way. No how. 

It may leave one wanting more, more often and more weird but that ain't happiness or fulfillment in any way.

Someone used to watch German porn.

[F250 28623]

10 hours ago, workswithseed said:

Exactly, the "I'm spiritual, but I don't believe in God," people make no sense to me.

Isn't that essentially Buddhism? I don't believe it is a theistic religion.

 

[fattyflattie 4636]

48 minutes ago, Brew said:

I don’t consider myself a “happy” person, I think I’m too much of a realist to be “happy.” However, I don’t watch the news, have zero social media interaction, visit this website and ESPN and a couple of others and that’s about it, go to church on Sundays, and live my life. I figure I’ve got a pretty limited window to enjoy it (and that window feels like it’s rapidly closing the older I get), but I’m going to try and make something of my time here and not give two shits what anyone else thinks about my life choices. 

Qft

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

Here's some good news to make everyone a little happier this morning:

 

Facebook says Apple iOS privacy change will result in $10 billion revenue hit this year

https://www.cnbc.com/2022/02/02/facebook-says-apple-ios-privacy-change-will-cost-10-billion-this-year.html

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

14 hours ago, Hefeweizen said:

I’ll be happy when Everyone is unhappy.

Motto worthy

[Captainant 27250]

3 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Here's some good news to make everyone a little happier this morning:

 

Facebook says Apple iOS privacy change will result in $10 billion revenue hit this year

https://www.cnbc.com/2022/02/02/facebook-says-apple-ios-privacy-change-will-cost-10-billion-this-year.html

Man we need a USA GDPR. It's obscene how much data is harvested from us without our knowledge or actual consent

[Celery Man 20832]

Not getting keyed up about stuff that doesn't impact you is often good advice, and it's also often good and even important to be able to move past/not stress about things that do effect you but that you have no control over.

However, the sometimes implicit assertion in "people should just unplug" is that "stuff happening out in the world doesn't actually matter", and that's often not true and I believe is part of what you might see in studies like this.

It was pointed out that this was from May 2020, and so fairly early for pandemic stuff to be really dragging on people, but that's a perfect example of... you can't ignore it, it impacts everyone's lives, it's not simply background noise that exists to get people keyed up. "Well I've been living a normal life for the past two years, it hasn't changed me a bit: - that's not something that has been possible for decent people, and that includes a lot of America. There's also a huge degree to which it is easy to simply ignore everything when it comes to social stuff if you, like many of us here, are comfortable and white and male. You can get worked up about guns but otherwise the bogeymen aren't coming for you. The other stuff - there's plenty of extremely unimportant shit on the news that's there to rile you up either because it's good for business or because it's part of a strategy, but the idea that everything that's been going on in America in recent history doesn't matter - that's sticking your head in the sand. I respect the notion of "I can't change it, I'll do the basic things i can do to exert my influence but otherwise I'm living my life", and of course the bluster from people who are obviously just as keyed into this as anyone else is bullshit.

I feel like for millennials (and I wonder how it is for gen z kids) there's a big happiness disconnect between the message and mindset we were raised on and the reality that was there for us upon entering the workforce. Swayze's post about a job search in this thread was making me think about "what is your dream" questions I was getting during interviews in 2020. Is it an acceptable "dream" to simply want to make a comfortable living doing something moderately interesting so you can support a family, build a little wealth, and do some fun/cool shit while you do it? It absolutely fucking should be, but I think a lot of us are broken from the whole... "you can do anything!" "do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life" "shoot for the moon, if you miss you'll land in the stars" etc etc bullshit we were raised on. It creates a weird toxicity in the work culture, it's of course a massive disappointment for people who were raised on that (to the detriment of practical guidance) and find themselves with tons of debt and no marketable skills, and even for people who have been somewhat successful i think there's a mild discontentedness. Like it's a failure to be moderately successful doing something mundane, like it would be embarrassing to admit that you've moved beyond childish dreams to pedestrian goals, and like doing that is not something that should allow you happiness.

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

18 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

It absolutely fucking should be, but I think a lot of us are broken from the whole... "you can do anything!" "do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life" "shoot for the moon, if you miss you'll land in the stars" etc etc bullshit we were raised on.

Great post, man.

People pushing this are selling you something or trying to convince themselves that they are happy.

Bullshit you read on social media is fake. Spend 10 minutes on Facebook and you realize that the people pushing these narratives are the most miserable people you know. 

I've tried to instill in my kid that there are only a handful of people in your life that REALLY care about you and are looking out for your best interest. Treat them well, listen to them, and know they love you. Everything else is noise. Everyone else is too busy dealing with their own stuff to care and if they pretend to, they are manipulating you. 

Surly, yeah. But facts.

[Snake Diggity 4607]

30 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

Not getting keyed up about stuff that doesn't impact you is often good advice, and it's also often good and even important to be able to move past/not stress about things that do effect you but that you have no control over.

However, the sometimes implicit assertion in "people should just unplug" is that "stuff happening out in the world doesn't actually matter", and that's often not true and I believe is part of what you might see in studies like this.

It was pointed out that this was from May 2020, and so fairly early for pandemic stuff to be really dragging on people, but that's a perfect example of... you can't ignore it, it impacts everyone's lives, it's not simply background noise that exists to get people keyed up. "Well I've been living a normal life for the past two years, it hasn't changed me a bit: - that's not something that has been possible for decent people, and that includes a lot of America. There's also a huge degree to which it is easy to simply ignore everything when it comes to social stuff if you, like many of us here, are comfortable and white and male. You can get worked up about guns but otherwise the bogeymen aren't coming for you. The other stuff - there's plenty of extremely unimportant shit on the news that's there to rile you up either because it's good for business or because it's part of a strategy, but the idea that everything that's been going on in America in recent history doesn't matter - that's sticking your head in the sand. I respect the notion of "I can't change it, I'll do the basic things i can do to exert my influence but otherwise I'm living my life", and of course the bluster from people who are obviously just as keyed into this as anyone else is bullshit.

I feel like for millennials (and I wonder how it is for gen z kids) there's a big happiness disconnect between the message and mindset we were raised on and the reality that was there for us upon entering the workforce. Swayze's post about a job search in this thread was making me think about "what is your dream" questions I was getting during interviews in 2020. Is it an acceptable "dream" to simply want to make a comfortable living doing something moderately interesting so you can support a family, build a little wealth, and do some fun/cool shit while you do it? It absolutely fucking should be, but I think a lot of us are broken from the whole... "you can do anything!" "do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life" "shoot for the moon, if you miss you'll land in the stars" etc etc bullshit we were raised on. It creates a weird toxicity in the work culture, it's of course a massive disappointment for people who were raised on that (to the detriment of practical guidance) and find themselves with tons of debt and no marketable skills, and even for people who have been somewhat successful i think there's a mild discontentedness. Like it's a failure to be moderately successful doing something mundane, like it would be embarrassing to admit that you've moved beyond childish dreams to pedestrian goals, and like doing that is not something that should allow you happiness.

Great post.  We are 3 generations deep in people raised with wildly unrealistic expectations.  I am currently in the happiest phase of my life and I think it’s because the expectations of my youth have finally been reset.

[BabaYaga 15190]

14 hours ago, Harrison Bergeron said:

A recent study from the California Institute of Technology (lay explanation here) seems to bear that out: 

Fear really is contagious, and scientists say having more people around you for support won’t help. So much for “strength in numbers.” Researchers from the California Institute of Technology used a haunted house experience with 17 rooms containing various spooky threats during their experiment. They found people were actually more scared when the group walking through the house was larger. The team also found that their fear built up and increased as people moved from room to room. Scientists say when faced with fear, people are more likely to have a heightened physical response when other people are around. This “phasic effect” involves rapid changes the body experiences as it responds to an event and is more likely to happen when other people are dealing with the same thing.

I agree that most people lack the ability to historically or globally contextualize their situations - virtually everyone always thinks of the bigger home than theirs and not the mobile home down the street. However, I would offer we do ourselves no favors by going "Spinal Tap 11" on every issue. At least around politics and culture, every issue seems to be couched as a crisis and risks global thermonuclear war.

I agree with you that inequality matters, but I am not sure how much. I did a quick Brave search, and there are some interesting articles:

1. Europe and Americans - In Europe, inequality is a more significant driver of happiness, particularly among the poor and those on the left. In America, inequality's relation to happiness is more a function of being rich and less impactful among the poor.
2. Global Study - Not really sure how to digest the country rankings ... Uzbekistan ranked #1 feels odd.
3. Happiness is not a result of comparison

I'm probably wrong, but I think happiness ultimately is a function of looking inward than outward. Suicide rates seem to bear this out, assuming suicide rates are a measure of ultimate unhappiness. There is not a correlation between inequality or economics and rates of suicide ... I'm too tired to Brave it, but I IIRC it actually is the opposite: suicide rates tend to be higher among the wealthy.

Pretty sure this was covered in the first chapter......something, something, thou shalt not covet and all that jazz.

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

8 minutes ago, Snake Diggity said:

Great post.  We are 3 generations deep in people raised with wildly unrealistic expectations.  I am currently in the happiest phase of my life and I think it’s because the expectations of my youth have finally been reset.

I've tried to live a pretty simple life based on the following proverb:

"The man who owns a goat has the problems of a goat. The man who owns a horse has the problems of a horse"

Simplify and you'll have less problems.

[crash_davis 23076]

[BabaYaga 15190]

2 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I've tried to live a pretty simple life based on the following proverb:

"The man who owns a goat has the problems of a goat. The man who owns a horse has the problems of a horse"

Simplify and you'll have less problems.

Problems don't get any less or easier - WE get better at dealing with them.  

[Nivek 16771]

As other have already pointed out, Social Media is the number #1 reason. 
It's the downfall of society

Nah it’s books, according to Socrates.

[TwiceHorn 31086]

3 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

Pretty sure this was covered in the first chapter......something, something, thou shalt not covet and all that jazz.

By reapproaching religion and spirituality through AA, which secularizes (somewhat contrary to popular belief) a lot of "Biblical" teachings, which are actually fairly universal to the world's religions, I have learned that a lot of biblical/religious things aren't just "commandments," but actually really pretty good psychology.

If you look at a lot of religious mandates not so much as rules having a penalty for violation of eternal damnation, but rather guidelines that lead to more contentment, things start to make a lot of sense.

Thou shalt not covet is a good one.  We all know it's bad to covet your neighbor's stuff, that's just good juju.

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

2 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

Problems don't get any less or easier - WE get better at dealing with them.  

Perhaps. But I know so many people who create their own problems then bitch about them. 

[BabaYaga 15190]

Just now, TwiceHorn said:

By reapproaching religion and spirituality through AA, which secularizes (somewhat contrary to popular belief) a lot of "Biblical" teachings, which are actually fairly universal to the world's religions, I have learned that a lot of biblical/religious things aren't just "commandments," but actually really pretty good psychology.

If you look at a lot of religious mandates not so much as rules having a penalty for violation of eternal damnation, but rather guidelines that lead to more contentment, things start to make a lot of sense.

Thou shalt not covet is a good one.  We all know it's bad to covet your neighbor's stuff, that's just good juju.

That is because the Bible and other assorted texts are not "books" as we perceive them today like War & Peace.  Rather they are compilations of stories and texts that predated "books" by thousands of years.  They are more consolidated archives of thousands of stories and teachings over thousands of years with people and tribes that co-mingled and with one another and revised via council hundreds of times

 

[BabaYaga 15190]

3 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Perhaps. But I know so many people who create their own problems then bitch about them. 

Self licking ice cream cone

Know a few myself.  Usually living a life of such quiet desperation, boredom, fear, and meaningless that they just create shit for themselves.  Again, maladies of surplus and excess of the modern era.

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

2 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

  Again, maladies of surplus and excess of the modern era.

There's always been surplus. It was historically limited to the rich. Now it's available to the masses. 

[deadshank 24648]

Would you rather be at one end of the spectrum where you are incredibly intelligent and self-aware, have access to all things good & bad and burdened by the problems of the world affecting you?

OR

Be on the other end of the spectrum where you are not particularly intelligent, live a simple life with access to only the basics and completely unfettered by modern problems?