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Posted (edited)
On 2/3/2022 at 11:37 PM, staboner said:

re: suicide. My 2 cents. I just think of purpose and isolation myself. And isolation is twofold - from people/family (accountability) and from nature/god/earth (spirituality). Modern American life is the most removed from both. More removed than any other culture at any other time ever.

For soldiers I believe the common shared problem is loss of the adrenaline. Regular life is too mundane and they can't hack it. 

 

First paragraph- couldn't agree more.

Second paragraph is just WTF/ falsehood.  Investigate a little more...  The notion that veterans are killing themselves because they're a bunch of Waingros from Heat and need to get their game on to maintain normalcy is extremely misguided.  Maybe, I am misreading what you are trying to say.

PTSD is real.  Believing that your sacrifice( that of other buddies/ comrades) is suddenly illegitimate/ wasted is also real.  It's not because they quit jumping out of planes or blowing shit up.

Edited by slorch
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted (edited)
On 2/5/2022 at 2:53 AM, slorch said:

First paragraph- couldn't agree more.

Second paragraph is just WTF/ falsehood.  Investigate a little more...  The notion that veterans are killing themselves because they're a bunch of Waingros from Heat and need to get their game on to maintain normalcy is extremely misguided.  Maybe, I am misreading what you are trying to say.

PTSD is real.  Believing that your sacrifice( that of other buddies/ comrades) is suddenly illegitimate/ wasted is also real.  It's not because they quit jumping out of planes or blowing shit up.

I don't think it's necessarily just combat veterans. I think a lot of chairborne warriors off themselves too because looking back on it, they realize they peaked in the military and they want that community, structure, and camaraderie back and can't find it in the outside world. 

Among that maladjusted subset of veterans, some others do something stupid like join the Oath Keepers so they can pretend America is Helmand Province, only this time, they are front-line soldiers and not the POGs they were back in the day. I got that distinct impression from both listening to them being interviewed and tapes of their "field operations" on Jan. 6. 

That Bobbitt chick fits this profile to a tee. If she was ever in the shit while in the service, I haven't read about it. She was just the type of person who needed to be in a more orderly environment than just being out there on her own running a terrible swimming pool service. 

Edited by MaybeACoordinator
  • 3 years later...
Posted
8 minutes ago, alincoln said:

To be fair, Brisket alone brings the US down 5 spots. 

Brisket might be known as this board’s Cassandra, but tell us, was she wrong?

It seems to me the fine citizens of Troy would’ve ultimately been a lot happier if they’d only fucking listened.

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Posted

American culture is about greed, greed, and more greed combined with mountains of selfishness and a complete distrust of people around you every day. 

You mean the people in that culture aren't happy?

You want to be happy? Unplug from social media, unplug from non sports TV, and watch sports with your buddies and do stuff with your family. It's pretty easy and that's why Americans don't get it. 

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Posted
5 minutes ago, Hermanator said:

unplug from non sports TV, and watch sports with your buddies and do stuff with your family. It's pretty easy and that's why Americans don't get it. 

I've been trying this for a bit.

Posted

The below is a passage from a George Saunder's short story entitled "Love Letter." I've thought of it often these last few months:

Quote

"When you reach a certain age, you see that time is all we have. By which I mean, moments like those overhead geese this morning, and watching your mother be born, and sitting at the dining-room table here waiting for the phone to ring and announce that a certain baby (you) had been born, or that day when all of us hiked out at Point Lobos. Those baby deer, the extremely loud seal, your sister’s scarf drifting down, down to that black, briny boulder, the replacement you so generously bought her in Monterey, how pleased you made her with your kindness. Those things were real. That is what (that is all) one gets. This other stuff is real only to the extent that it interferes with those moments."

 

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, alincoln said:

Acknowledge that you are powerless to influence broad societal change, abandon the doom loop negativity of social media and this board, focus on assisting people in your local community, spend more time with your family and long time friends, exercise more, spend at least an hour outside every day and make an effort to do things that make you happy that don’t involve materialism. 

 

11 minutes ago, Hermanator said:

American culture is about greed, greed, and more greed combined with mountains of selfishness and a complete distrust of people around you every day. 

You mean the people in that culture aren't happy?

You want to be happy? Unplug from social media, unplug from non sports TV, and watch sports with your buddies and do stuff with your family. It's pretty easy and that's why Americans don't get it. 

These both work....in part.  But if you're shooting for the "happiness package," that includes empathy for others.  And that's the unconsumable shit sandwich of American society today.  Sure, you can focus on you and yours, and tune out the shit that everyone else is going through (I do a good bit of this these days, and I very much enjoy those moments, like Saturday mornings sitting on the couch with my wife, drinking our coffee, watching a Premier League match, making a nice light breakfast).  But if you know your neighbors are going through the shit, it's only getting worse, and many of your other neighbors are actively working to make those neighbors suffer more.....it's kinda hard to fully enjoy your backyard beer and hot dogs with the family.  

No, we can't fix everything/everyone....we never could.  But an approach of just "well, fuck everyone else, I'll just take care of me and mine" kinda misses the point.

In Finland, they weren't just happy because THEY get a "baby box" when their kid is born.  They are happy, and proud, that EVERYONE gets a baby box when their kid is born.  Happiness springs from doing good and being kind, too.

Edited by Brisketexan
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Posted

I think this is more of an urban problem. Out here in the sticks, where people have plenty of opportunity to fish, hunt, camp, play golf for relatively low green fees, grow a garden, etc. People are pretty damn happy. They aren't crowded up, like in cities. The only ones that seem to be unhappy, out here, are the social media addicted Karens on Nextdoor.

CHIEF

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Posted

Hey sure public schools and universities, public hospitals, medicare, the VA, social security and health safety and research are on the way to being decimated by our federal government but I just shot a deer so who gives a shit.

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Posted

Not to be a dick, but rural America doesn’t have shit for economic opportunity compared to urban. Which means significantly lower quality of life.  
 

I have enough cousins in rural Arkansas to know this. 

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Posted
36 minutes ago, Girth Brooks said:

Finland has a very homogenous society. Of course their values align. Makes them more likely to see the “common good”. 

God what a copout.  Way to say "we can't get along because we have minorities."  Also, way to utterly ignore the bigger point here.....

Nevermind that we -- in recent memory -- did better at having greater alignment of our values society-wide.  Far from perfect, sure....but better than we are doing today.

Nobody expects us to be Finland.  But we can damn well expect that we could be the US of even 20-30 years ago.  In 2012, we were 11th.  Today, we are 24th.  Saying "we'll never be #1 is a copout."  How about we just say "we can be #11 again?"

Sorry I give a damn that we seem to be treating each other shittier, shittier, and shittier, and that our social wellness has declined from 11th to 24th in just 13 years.  Sorry I give a shit about how my neighbors are doing instead of just myself.  I understand that you either 1) don't mind cruelty and selfishness that hurts other, or 2) defend those things because it aligns with your beliefs.  It bothers me, sorry, that's the way I was raised, and it's how I'm wired.

Oh, and my concern about this isn't because I'm a "city boy, not a country fella" (well, okay....I freely confess that Austin traffic and idiot drivers are probably responsible for a good 10% of any bad feelings I have -- cut me some slack, man...our drivers suck).  I know plenty of rural folks who are fucking ANGRY as hell.....at wokeness, at liberals, at minorities, at all that shit.  I've heard it -- the words out of their mouths.  Hell, some dear friends of ours have parents who grew up rural, raised them rural, and have retired to their dream patch of land along a river.  And they....are fucking ANGRY.  All of the rage porn stuff fed to them by their curated media, and reinforced by their neighbors who echo the same things.  The irony is, in their daily lives, they live in such an insular community, they never have to deal with the things that make them so angry.  There are no drag shows in Lower Bumfuck.  There are few minorities -- at least, not in the crowd they run with.  There are no liberals -- it's 100% Trump country, everyone agrees with them.  There's NO reason for them to be angry, at least not with respect to their daily lives....but they are.

So, "move to the country, and all will be chill" isn't true.

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Posted (edited)

my sister now lives in a NE Texas rural community/small town, and by circumstance and location is pretty limited socially to interacting with the local 'simple, common clay' folks out there. the very definition of a homogeneous population. per her lived experience the last two years, a direct quote: "omg these people will not  just STFU bitching about shit! win or lose, all they do is bitch, bitch, bitch!"  

Edited by mchookem
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Posted
3 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

In 2012, we were 11th.  Today, we are 24th.

Correlates with the timeline social media went into hyperdrive....newsflash people.  Get the fuck off social media.  You want to talk politics and geopolitical shit, do it face to face.  

Social media and the rise in depression

Quote
  • Depression, self‐harm, suicide, and unhappiness suddenly increased among adolescents after 2012, especially among girls and young women.
  • Increases in depression among adolescents have been concurrent with increases in digital media use.
  • Increased digital media and smartphone use may influence mental health via several mechanisms, including displacement and disruption of in‐person social interactions, interference with sleep, cyberbullying, and online information about self‐harm.

 

Just now, mchookem said:

my sister now lives in a NE Texas rural community/small town, and by circumstance and location is pretty limited socially to interacting with the local 'simple, common clay' folks out there. per her lived experience the last two years, a direct quote: "omg these people will not  just STFU bitching about shit! win or lose, all they do is bitch, bitch, bitch!"  

That's people.  Find better people, or change the subject

3 minutes ago, DaysOff said:

I like to drink cocktails alone in the evenings. Then I get happy enough.

My man!

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Posted (edited)
5 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

Correlates with the timeline social media went into hyperdrive....newsflash people.  Get the fuck off social media.  You want to talk politics and geopolitical shit, do it face to face.  

Social media and the rise in depression

 

The timeline certainly matches up with Gen Z's two big problems: they ain't drinking and partying, and they ain't fuckin'.

30783.jpeg

why-is-gen-z-having-less-sex-than-other-

I look back at that age, and yeah....drinking beer and having a good time with my buddies, and getting some, were key elements in my overall happiness.

Shit, I look back on this past weekend, and....same thing.

Edited by Brisketexan
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Posted
1 minute ago, Brisketexan said:

It certainly matches up with Gen Z's two big problems: they ain't drinking and partying, and they ain't fuckin'.

30783.jpeg

why-is-gen-z-having-less-sex-than-other-

I look back at that age, and yeah....drinking beer and having a good time with my buddies, and getting some, were key elements in my overall happiness.

Shit, I look back on this past weekend, and....same thing.

Because it was face to face.  Spend time WITH people.  Do shit WITH people.  That doesn't have to end when you get a job and a house.  We're social creatures, but there is nothing social and this new medium that uses the precise algorithms or getting people upset because they figured out cute puppy pictures don't drive engagement like anger does.  

The worst thing FB ever did was add that little red dot.  A notification when someone else liked or commented on YOUR post - so we check it out, and that's the hook.  This site is no different.  Take that away and you'd have to search back over your posts to see what everyone thinks, but instead that little red dot sucks you in and takes you right back into the fray....it's an engagement mechanism to drive more and more responses.  

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Posted

Expectations.  That's all it is.

Americans are miserable because we expect to be happy, rich, successful, famous, etc.  Basically, we're stupid.

Scandinavians consistently rank high because, culturally, they expect the absolute worst at all times and then appreciate being pleasantly surprised when things are just okay.  

These happiness polls always measure happiness against expectations, and that's why the numbers turn out the way they do.  Americans are overly optimistic and therefore constantly disappointed.   Scandinavians are extremely pessimistic and therefore constantly pleased.

The end result is still Americans being less happy than other nations, but applying an American's notion of happiness to other nations does not paint an accurate picture.

Posted (edited)

Damn, us millenials swept every drinking category?

Also, as others have noted, rural America may be great if you're a rich, white, retired person. I love being outdoors but I'm not bringing my mixed-race family out there to live.

Edited by hookem2010
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Posted
4 minutes ago, Samson's Wig said:

Scandinavians consistently rank high because, culturally, they expect the absolute worst at all times and then appreciate being pleasantly surprised when things are just okay.  

There is also something to be said for that.  Dear god....the food alone SHOULD make them depressed.  Yet...they are HAPPY to eat....potatoes.  And potatoes.  And sometimes herring.  And more potatoes.  And cream sauce.  And treating 2 flecks of paprika as "spice."  They definitely know how to "be happy with less."  Of course, they also drink a lot and have lots of sex (see the Gen Z problem above).  Aquavit and getting freaky with other hot Scandinavians goes a LONG way in adding to your happiness score.

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Posted
8 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

Correlates with the timeline social media went into hyperdrive....newsflash people.  Get the fuck off social media.  You want to talk politics and geopolitical shit, do it face to face.  

Social media and the rise in depression

 

That's people.  Find better people, or change the subject

My man!

definitely agree on the social media point - it has changed people's brains. probably irreversable unfortunately, horse out of the barn and whatnot. also, valid point about the young'uns not engaging in as much, uh, extra-curricular distractions as we did. 

as far as finding better people...have you been to rural Anderson county? 

 Just Saying Colin Jost GIF - Just Saying Colin Jost Saturday Night Live -  Discover & Share GIFs

 

but seriously...she can't really 'change the subject' b/c she feels pretty hopelessly outnumbered. she's also not super confident in being able to argue her opinions which, yeah, that's a personal issue for her to deal with. i don't really have the same issue though...which i have no doubt is why these same conversations don't ever really happen when i'm visiting. heh. what she tends to do is just leave lol. like literally just flee. which has made for some awkward calls from dad: "where'd you go?? you got up to get a drink and just left??" 😄

Posted
6 minutes ago, Samson's Wig said:

These happiness polls always measure happiness against expectations, and that's why the numbers turn out the way they do.  Americans are overly optimistic and therefore constantly disappointed.   Scandinavians are extremely pessimistic and therefore constantly pleased.

The end result is still Americans being less happy than other nations, but applying an American's notion of happiness to other nations does not paint an accurate picture.

Not entirely wrong....but let's talk about the decline.  We don't have to be as happy as the Finns.  We SHOULD be as happy as we were in 2012.  We are not.  We are selfish.  We are mean.

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Posted
38 minutes ago, drt said:

Not to be a dick, but rural America doesn’t have shit for economic opportunity compared to urban. Which means significantly lower quality of life.  
 

I have enough cousins in rural Arkansas to know this. 

I would respectfully disagree with this. 

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Posted
5 minutes ago, Samson's Wig said:

Expectations.  That's all it is.

Americans are miserable because we expect to be happy, rich, successful, famous, etc.  Basically, we're stupid.

Scandinavians consistently rank high because, culturally, they expect the absolute worst at all times and then appreciate being pleasantly surprised when things are just okay.  

These happiness polls always measure happiness against expectations, and that's why the numbers turn out the way they do.  Americans are overly optimistic and therefore constantly disappointed.   Scandinavians are extremely pessimistic and therefore constantly pleased.

The end result is still Americans being less happy than other nations, but applying an American's notion of happiness to other nations does not paint an accurate picture.

All true, and I think social media has ramped that up to a 10.  It's amplifying unrealistic expectations.  What's the saying:  "Comparison is the thief of joy"

Social media says hold my beer.

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Posted
1 minute ago, mchookem said:

as far as finding better people...have you been to rural Anderson county? 

 

Lol.  No, but I've been to Coleman and Runnels county.  San Saba county.  Lots of twats, but also lots of just regular people.  I think the rural vs urban distinction comes down to needing one another.  It's more difficult to be self-sustaining in rural America.  I've had many reciprocal situations over the years having fence problems, vehicle issues, cattle issues where your neighbors matter.  I've helped mend neighbors fences and had them pull me out of the damn mud when I was being a dumb ass.  Or let us know when a cow was stuck.  You can't uber home.  There is no food delivery.  There are not stores on every corner.  Being a good neighbor matters more

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Posted (edited)
11 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

Lol.  No, but I've been to Coleman and Runnels county.  San Saba county.  Lots of twats, but also lots of just regular people.  I think the rural vs urban distinction comes down to needing one another.  It's more difficult to be self-sustaining in rural America.  I've had many reciprocal situations over the years having fence problems, vehicle issues, cattle issues where your neighbors matter.  I've helped mend neighbors fences and had them pull me out of the damn mud when I was being a dumb ass.  Or let us know when a cow was stuck.  You can't uber home.  There is no food delivery.  There are not stores on every corner.  Being a good neighbor matters more

This is true.  It is VERY true.  I have experienced it in spades myself.

But....it comes with a downside.  These communities can indeed see themselves as a more cohesive "us," and "we" who depend on each other....but the also look outward at anyone not in their "us" as a "them," and often not in a good way.  

It's the flip side of living in a more diverse, urban community.  You don't have contempt for "the other" as much because you deal with various flavors of "the other" in your daily life.  Shit, the other day I picked up an order at Whataburger.  The person who brough my food out was clearly born male, around 50, and dressed up with fabulous makeup, earrings, and his/her hair all did.  He/she looked fabulous, and happy.  Being a product of living in Austin for 30+ years, I just smiled to myself and thought "get down with your bad self."  I know plenty of more rural types who would have thought and even said (although probably after they pulled away) "what the hell was that?  Who did that queer think he was fooling?" or something along those lines.  And, had he/she shown up in their town....not sure how friendly their greeting would have been.

We should all treat each other the way that many rural folks tend to treat each other in their small communities - pitch in together, lend a helping hand.

We should all have the tolerance and decency for "others" and "outsiders" the way that many urban folks feel for folks in their cities - live and let live, avoid hurtful judgmentalism.

Sure, there are outliers for both (plenty of mean assholes in the city who would have called WB person a queer, plenty of people in rural communities who aren't helpful at all when people need it), but there are general lessons to be learned.  The common thread?  Treat EVERYONE like "we."  And don't just think of the "me."

Edited by Brisketexan
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Posted
18 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

There is also something to be said for that.  Dear god....the food alone SHOULD make them depressed.  Yet...they are HAPPY to eat....potatoes.  And potatoes.  And sometimes herring.  And more potatoes.  And cream sauce.  And treating 2 flecks of paprika as "spice."  They definitely know how to "be happy with less."  Of course, they also drink a lot and have lots of sex (see the Gen Z problem above).  Aquavit and getting freaky with other hot Scandinavians goes a LONG way in adding to your happiness score.

They do drink and fuck a lot, and I'm probably discounting that more than I should.   Gen Z still has it's youngest members who haven't even entered their teenage years yet, so the book isn't written on them yet.  Those older Gen Z folks that are part of the numbers you posted spent a great deal of their formative years during Covid lockdown.  They're just uniquely fucked.

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Posted
19 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Not entirely wrong....but let's talk about the decline.  We don't have to be as happy as the Finns.  We SHOULD be as happy as we were in 2012.  We are not.  We are selfish.  We are mean.

True.  I wonder how much the numbers from that era reflect us climbing out of the Great Recession and seeing a bit of hope for the future for the first time in a while.   No doubt people seem to be crankier and meaner now, though.  And I agree with the notion above that social media is a big part of all of this.

Posted
15 minutes ago, DaysOff said:

Well, actually, Finns aren't Scandinavian. They're just drunks. Therefore happy.

You're right.  While I wasn't thinking of the Finns specifically, I should have said Nordic countries or something along those lines.

Posted
1 minute ago, Samson's Wig said:

They do drink and fuck a lot, and I'm probably discounting that more than I should.   Gen Z still has it's youngest members who haven't even entered their teenage years yet, so the book isn't written on them yet.  Those older Gen Z folks that are part of the numbers you posted spent a great deal of their formative years during Covid lockdown.  They're just uniquely fucked.

Yeah....no doubt in my mind as to the bolded.  Shit, my daughter was squarely in that - she was having her dream year (freshman year of college), and it got cut short.  And even though she went back to school after that, the cascade effects, changes to scheduling and study opportunities etc.....well, she felt like she was robbed of something that could have been great, and she wasn't wrong.  Now, she got out and about and had and has a social life, but I saw plenty of her peers who did not, and who still haven't caught up.

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Posted
Just now, Brisketexan said:

This is true.  It is VERY true.  I have experienced it in spades myself.

But....it comes with a downside.  These communities can indeed see themselves as a more cohesive "us," and "we" who depend on each other....but the also look outward at anyone not in their "us" as a "them," and often not in a good way.  

It's the flip side of living in a more diverse, urban community.  You don't have contempt for "the other" as much because you deal with various flavors of "the other" in your daily life.  Shit, the other day I picked up an order at Whataburger.  The person who brough my food out was clearly born male, around 50, and dressed up with fabulous makeup, earrings, and his/her hair all did.  He/she looked fabulous, and happy.  Being a product of living in Austin for 30+ years, I just smiled to myself and thought "get down with your bad self."  I know plenty of more rural types who would have thought and even said (although probably after they pulled away) "what the hell was that?  Who did that queer think he was fooling?" or something along those lines.  And, had he/she shown up in their town....not sure how friendly their greeting would have been.

We should all treat each other the way that many rural folks tend to treat each other in their small communities.

We should all have the tolerance and decency for "others" and "outsiders" the way that many urban folks feel for folks in their cities.

Sure, there are outliers for both (plenty of mean assholes in the city who would have called WB person a queer, plenty of people in rural communities who aren't helpful at all when people need it), but there are general lessons to be learned.  The common thread?  Treat EVERYONE like "we."  And don't just think of the "me."

People are tribal.  News at 11.  

This constant "we should....we should.....we should".  Maybe it's you should.  You should get off social media.  You should focus on spending more time with the people that matter in your life.  You should control what you can control - this begins with the acknowledgement that the more time you spend on social media, just know that you are being intentionally manipulated.

Again, there is a clear correlation between the polling and the spike in online use.  Would someone in drag be treated differently in a small city - yeah.  Would someone from a small town who dresses and talks like they are from a small town be treated differently in a big city - yeah.  

Posted
1 minute ago, 956 Worldwide said:

Probably unrelated but you can now finance a pizza.

image.jpeg.0cec67b23b569ab9da5978674d59c724.jpeg

To be fair....I recall in our college days, dudes paying for Gumby's with a post-dated check.  So, "I'll pay you tomorrow for a pizza that I unwisely and drunkenly ate today" isn't a new game.

Posted
15 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

To be fair....I recall in our college days, dudes paying for Gumby's with a post-dated check.  So, "I'll pay you tomorrow for a pizza that I unwisely and drunkenly ate today" isn't a new game.

Man. Gumby’s was legit. 

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Posted

$1 totinos for the win.  I had a stack of them.  Pop 'em in that little toaster oven that sat on the counter with a glass door.  I used to murder those with extreme prejudice.  

Posted
1 hour ago, CHIEF said:

I think this is more of an urban problem. Out here in the sticks, where people have plenty of opportunity to fish, hunt, camp, play golf for relatively low green fees, grow a garden, etc. People are pretty damn happy. They aren't crowded up, like in cities. The only ones that seem to be unhappy, out here, are the social media addicted Karens on Nextdoor.

CHIEF

I seem to recall you mentioning you live in Hood County or very near Granbury, correct? That ain't exactly the "sticks," especially since you mention low green fees.

That area doesn't exactly align with the traditional urban/rural divide. In fact, it's basically become the playground of well-to-do retirees from DFW and all over West Texas, living comfortably in what is basically an exurb of Fort Worth with an increasing number of retail/entertainment amenities drawn to the area's expanding population which has a good amount of disposable income. I'm pretty sure the same could all be said about nearby Glen Rose/Somerville County, just 15 miles or so down the road.

If I'm right about your general location, it's not like you live in a struggling little town out in the real sticks like Menard, Brady, or Eden.

 

Posted (edited)
4 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

$1 totinos for the win.  I had a stack of them.  Pop 'em in that little toaster oven that sat on the counter with a glass door.  I used to murder those with extreme prejudice.  

I inform you with great sadness and regret that Party Pizzas are now almost $2 a pop, and may have actually gone over that since I last checked. 

 

They have less cheese on them than in the past too

Edited by safe sex
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Posted
5 minutes ago, safe sex said:

I inform you with great sadness and regret that Party Pizzas are now almost $2 a pop, and may have actually gone over that since I last checked. 

 

They have less cheese on them than in the past too

America's happiness index just dropped from #24 to #25 with this post.

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