Is this even fixable? (Stone bench)

[ChickenSandwich 9,960]

Keep the top for his tombstone 

[Kennythetiger 9,631]

On 2/21/2022 at 10:13 AM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

You should beat your child with that River rock so he knows how the bench felt.  Be sure and tell him that this is going to hurt me more than you before you start.

My dad spanked the shit out of my brother and me when we were growing up. Can’t think of a single one that we didn’t deserve. Before the beatings commenced he would always say, “Remember, this is going to hurt you a lot worse than it’s going to hurt me…”. 

[Homercles 10,206]

You guys were right, they’ve been made that way forever.  Lowe’s has this:

https://www.lowes.com/pd/43-in-Curved-Concrete-Stain-Bench/1002706968
 

Far as I can tell it’s exact same.  Guess option would be to take off the top and put the old legs on it.  Now actually doing that would be some work so I’m curious what kind of saw would be able to get in that space where the legs join the topper.  
 

Or if access there would be too hard…possible to cutoff the front part a few inches thick and epoxy it to the old (after squaring off the jagged edge of course)?

Edited February 23, 2022 by Homercles

[Homercles 10,206]

Well seems legs may already be detached, like the old one.  Thanks for the help here, surly-style or not. 

[BottleRocket 659]

Jesus Christ just throw the Fucking thing in the dumpster already.

[Prepuce of Doom 21,288]

1 hour ago, BottleRocket said:

Jesus Christ just throw the Fucking thing off the overpass.

FifTxTow

Edited February 24, 2022 by Prepuce of Doom

[TexasEd 8,266]

I hope you didn't sell the Nintendo.

[Homercles 10,206]

No we didn’t.  Told our son that, because he was honest and upfront, he can keep it.   He’s going to pay off the replacement bench with his allowance and extra labor. 

Edited February 24, 2022 by Homercles

[Kennythetiger 9,631]

Great. Now son knows that Dad is all bark and no bite. He’ll be fucking with the neighbor’s goldfish pond next. 

[Mrs Whiggins 13,050]

21 hours ago, Homercles said:

No we didn’t.  Told our son that, because he was honest and upfront, he can keep it.   He’s going to pay off the replacement bench with his allowance and extra labor. 

You know....if you don't tell him about Lowe's and/or cast stone places but go with carved stone, he could be providing labor until he leaves home.

[Jkwellborn 7,041]

I quite reading at post #19, but y’all should have been watching him. Selling the switch to fix a concrete bench that was probably mass produced is stupid.

[VirginiaLonghorn 4,912]

On 2/18/2022 at 11:47 PM, Bernard said:

When Joel cracked his mom’s prized glass egg, his dad sent him out rake some leaves in the back yard. Looks like your yard could use some raking. Later, when Joel’s dad found out Joel was accepted to Princeton, the whole broken egg deal was pretty much forgotten. Be like Joel’s dad.

Bernard