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Dumbass Shit We See On Facebook

Vic Mackey

By Vic Mackey
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ButtFumble

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41 minutes ago, futureman said:

can we hear about this?  sounds interesting. 

It does not seem as extreme telling it on the internet as it was at the time, but here goes. (I will use punctuation some for IMissWallyPryor)

My brother, I, and 3 friends went skiing at Winter Park. We left to drive home pretty late in the day (some other funny/crazy stories there) and were going to drive back to Austin straight through. We are on I-25 in far south Colorado in the middle of fucking nowhere I think between Walsenburg and Trinidad. We were in our family's 79 Chevy van which was not some great winter weather handling machine and that for about 3 years in a row would run great to Colorado, have trouble running while there, and then once we got it going again to leave would run great all the way home.

You have to remember no cell phones or shit like that back then. The snow and sleet coming down looked just like in the pic it was blowing directly at you and was pretty thick, but the roads were not frozen the temps were just above freezing and only the sides of bridges and overpasses were frozen. It was about 2am to 3am and my brother was driving and I was in the passenger seat and there was no other traffic at all in either direction we were just out there in fucking nowhere.

As we go along finally up way ahead we see some taillights really faint and for quite a while we are seeing them off in the distance up ahead of us. After a bit we are gaining on them slightly going about the speed limit and for a while we slowly gained on them. Then all of the sudden we are really gaining on them and we are really close to them and my brother slows down pretty quick and as we roll up about 100 yards ahead is a late 60s black Chevy step side truck and it is in the middle of a bridge overpass about 80% in the right lane and 20% in the left lane and it was almost facing us head on. So if we were facing 12 on a clock the truck was facing 5 so it was almost head on facing us. Again this is a big 4 lane divided interstate so the truck is facing the wrong way on the road. The weird thing is we never saw them spin we just saw the taillights get closer really slow for a long time then we were gaining right on them and then we are rolling up on them about facing us. The truck was running with the headlights on, but it was darked out and we could not see shit in it and it was pretty beat up.

So going about 20mph my brother gets over in the left land and some on the shoulder and we drive on around and start to speed up and we are all kind of asking ourselves WTF and if we needed to stop or how they had spun around because the bridge was definitely not iced over at all and we had not seen them spin. Just about the time we figure fuck it lets just keep going because we are in the middle of nowhere and their truck was clearly running and had clearly not impacted the bridge or anything else the truck turns around and starts gaining on us and by then we are back in the right hand lane. The truck catches up to us pretty quick and for about 2 miles paces us about 10' back in the left lane and just keeps up with us and so we are all really wondering WTF because we had not come close to them at all when we passed them and well it is pretty clear they did not need us to stop and help them because their truck is running just fine. After about a mile or two of that the truck passes us really fast and gets ahead of us and gets in the right lane so my brother slows down a little bit to give us some space and we get about 300 yards of space on them and the truck pulls off on the shoulder and stops and my brother changes to the left lane and as we drive by some shit hits the side of out van about 1" below the large farthest back passenger side window and when it hit us it made a sound like a Star Wars photon gun and a bunch of sparks came off the side of the van.

So now we are all like OK WTF is this bullshit and my brother speeds up to about 10 over the speed limit and the truck takes off again from the shoulder and catches up to us again while we are still in the left lane and it is in the right lane and it starts the same bullshit again pacing us about 10' back. One of our friends had brought a 9mm with us on the trip and we all knew it and he had it in his backpack that he had reached for after they had thrown the shit and hit the van and after about a mile or two of them pacing us again I start telling him to give it to me because I am going to fucking take a shot into their radiator and if they do not back off I am going to take some more at the windshield. After a bit of back and forth of him saying no not yet just about the time I think he was going to give it to me the truck let off the gas and slowed down and pulled off to the shoulder of the road and just sat there and we of course just kept on driving.

We talked about going into the next town and reporting it, but we decided against is because it was not exactly legal to carry back then. We were really not sure what the laws were people back then used to say if you were going "interstate" you could carry and we also figured whoever it was just as easily could be some local connected asshole and we would be fucked no matter what. When we finally stopped for gas way down the road we looked at the side of the van and there was a dent about 1" below the large rear window that was about 1/4" deep and about 1" long and it had burn scuffs like it was something metallic that had hit us.

It does not sound as crazy and fucked up as it was at the time, but in the middle of nowhere late at night in semi-shitty weather I am not really looking to play games with some random asshole in the highway with just us and them on the road. And it is hard to tell just how weird it was that we came up on them the way we did and how they were just kind of blocking the road for what seemed to be no reason and just sitting there and we did not get close at all to them passing them and clearly they did not need any help because their truck was running fine to fuck with us.

Edited by ButtFumble
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futureman

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1 hour ago, ButtFumble said:

It does not sound as crazy and fucked up as it was at the time,

man that sounds pretty fucked up to me.  reminds of the scene in “nocturnal animals” if you’ve seen that movie.  I also know that stretch of highway well; have stopped at the ludlow memorial more than once.  incidentally the ludlow massacre was some fucked up shit as well. 

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ButtFumble

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Posted
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36 minutes ago, futureman said:

damn.

Yea it was weird shit even looking back it seems strange. I can't emphasis enough how we were just driving along going about the speed limit because that was probably even pushing it in the weather at the time and how we saw those taillights up ahead for a long ways and then for a long time gained on them really slowly as if we were only going about 5mph faster. And then we are gaining on them quicker and my brother is slowing down because we are thinking they see something we don't and then next thing you know we are staring at a truck facing the wrong way and kind of blocking the bridge even though we had seen nothing at all of them spinning or how they got turned around. You could see it was running from the exhaust and you could see the headlights were properly aligned and the taillights too so it had not spun and hit the side of the bridge and even if it had it would be unlikely that it bounced back into the middle of the damn bridge.

Then the shit with pacing us and throwing whatever it was at us and then pacing us again.

Along with that is we had probably not seen another car in either direction for about 20 miles and it is fucking nowhere out there.

That whole trip was crazy here are the other stories from that same day. We had taken a bunch of weed with us, but we were running out on the last night and were pretty desperate so the friend that had brought the gun had shouted out on the shuttle bus the night before as it was stopping if anyone knew where to get some weed and a guy offered to smoke us out, but said he did not have any to sell so we laughed and shook his hand and thanked him. The next morning we were getting ready to ski for the last day before we packed up and left later that day and my other friend ask the maid and her answer was "I will ask the front desk". We were staying at SnowBlaze Condos (5 star service by the way). So we go skiing and after we are packing up our shit to leave and the damn van is giving us trouble just like always and so we about have it started and running well in the parking garage and an old ass beat to shit ice cream truck comes pulling up. A guy and girl get out of it and they have snow boards back when pretty much no one was snow boarding and you could go days on the slopes not seeing a snow board and pretty much most of the places would not permit them. So we knew they were ski bums for sure. They walk over to us and the guy says "are you the guys with a problem" and I start saying yea this fucking van every year it runs great on the way up here and then runs like shit the whole time it is here (altitude and carburetors) and then we get it running and it drives great back home.

The guy looks at us all confused and he says "you are not the guys from Texas with a problem the front desk said there were some guys from Texas with a a problem". So I look at my friend and I am like YEA!!! we have a big ass problem. So we go up to the room and they sold us a nice 1/4 of popcorn buds for $35 and then ask if they could get a joint because they really did not make anything off the bag and we were like shit we have no papers, but we can smoke you out with our apple pipe and then give you a couple of buds because you saved our asses from a horrible drive home. They had never seen anyone smoke out of an apple so we smoked them out and gave them some buds and thanked them profusely and packed the rest of our shit and headed out.

We get into Denver just as rush hour traffic is dying down, but it is already starting to snow some more and the roads are frozen a little bit and the guy that had the gun was driving. I am pretty sure we where just north of where you get into downtown proper. Traffic is pretty heavy, but moving well probably going 40mph or so. As we are going along we are in the 3rd lane of  4 lanes in our direction and traffic is just kind of flowing along and I am in the passenger seat and out of the blue the cars ahead of us in 3 of the 4 lanes start spinning. The car in the 4th lane starts spinning off to the left and the car ahead of us in our lane is still going straight and the car in the lane immediately to the left of us is spinning over a bit into our lane and the one in the far right lane is spinning off to the right. We are all like oh shit and our friend driving lets off the gas, but does not brake and he just gives a bit of movement to the left of the wheel and steers around the car to the right of us and by then the one in the left lane is back in their lane and coming a bit close to us so he again gives the wheel a bit of steer and gets back into our lane and lets off the gas more and as we look back more cars behind us are spinning and traffic is coming to a stop and the car in the lane ahead of us is speeding up a little bit back to about 40 so we all cheer our friend and look back more to wide open space on the freeway between us and the pack of cars that had basically come to a stop behind us. I don't think it was a big pile up because people up there can drive in the snow usually and we did not see any of the cars ahead of us hit each other or anything on the side of the road, but traffic was stopping down. We did laugh how the people from Texas in the big van with the light weight back end that would spin in about anything had somehow managed to just weave between the other cars spinning around us.

Edited by ButtFumble
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