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Dumbass Shit We See On Facebook

Vic Mackey

By Vic Mackey
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Vic Mackey

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55 minutes ago, WithoutAClue said:

catadvice.jpg

Domesticated animals have it made. Meals, housing, toys, love, playtime provided at no cost. And they get to sleep as often as they want and no one says anything about it.

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Dnaguy

Dnaguy 12002

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16 hours ago, Butch Had Not said:

I shower at night because it increases me having sex with my wife by 1000%. She isn't giving me a BJ after a long day in my underwear. 

 

If I spent all day in a mikvah, then got baptized in holy water blessed by Jesus himself, and finally ritualistically performed wudu with the tears of an angel; I would have a better chance of winning the Powerball than receiving oral sex from my wife.

 

And just a reminder, 1000% of 0 is still 0.

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Butch Had Not

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14 hours ago, ztejas said:

Wife? She isn't giving you a BJ regardless.

 

1 minute ago, Dnaguy said:

 

If I spent all day in mikvah, then got baptized in holy water blessed by Jesus himself, and finally ritualistically performed wudu with the tears of an angel; I would have a better chance of winning the Powerball than receiving oral sex from my wife.

 

And just a reminder, 1000% of 0 is still 0.

Man I just don't know what to tell you guys. Keep pushing for them. I'm sure you have done your part by going down on them more than enough times to justify the occasional BJ. 

I guess I'll just keep taking night showers and getting blow jobs every once in a while. 

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Dnaguy

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5 minutes ago, Butch Had Not said:

 

 

Man I just don't know what to tell you guys. Keep pushing for them. I'm sure you have done your part by going down on them more than enough times to justify the occasional BJ. 

I guess I'll just keep taking night showers and getting blow jobs every once in a while. 

 

I've seen this movie before.

You are going to be murdered.

Either in the shower in anticipation or during the act itself.

That is the only explanation I can come up with here.

Better get some eyes on your 6, brah.

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Butch Had Not

Butch Had Not 2982

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9 minutes ago, Dnaguy said:

 

I've seen this movie before.

You are going to be murdered.

Either in the shower in anticipation or during the act itself.

That is the only explanation I can come up with here.

Better get some eyes on your 6, brah.

Dude she does have the crazy eyes. You might be onto something. 

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Shoxthemonkey

Shoxthemonkey 1981

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34 minutes ago, Butch Had Not said:

 

 

Man I just don't know what to tell you guys. Keep pushing for them. I'm sure you have done your part by going down on them more than enough times to justify the occasional BJ. 

I guess I'll just keep taking night showers and getting blow jobs every once in a while. 

You know, my wife had a traumatic brain injury and as such has seizures.

 

My dick doesn't go anywhere near her choppers.

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Dnaguy

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4 hours ago, Shoxthemonkey said:

You know, my wife had a traumatic brain injury and as such has seizures.

 

My dick doesn't go anywhere near her choppers.

How tight is that shit when she locks up during the actual act?!

Don't hold out man.

she ever seize up when you hitting’ it from behind?

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm incredibly sorry for your wife’s condition and apologize for the statement above. I’ve reached terminal internet and don’t really work well in the real world anymore. 

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ztejas

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11 minutes ago, Dnaguy said:

How tight is that shit when she locks up during the actual act?!

Don't hold out man.

she ever seize up when you hitting’ it from behind?

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm incredibly sorry for your wife’s condition and apologize for the statement above. I’ve reached terminal internet and don’t really work well in the real world anymore. 

God I love this site.

Also - this is probably what he looks like when that seizure gorilla grip hits.

jizz in my pants GIF

 

 

 

 

Hope you and your wife are doing well and I bless your household and your children's households.

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Superhero

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10 hours ago, SurlyBDR said:

Screenshot-20240512-101625-Facebook.jpg

When I lived in Austin, my neighbors would run out and put anything and everything on their car whenever there was hail in the forecast.

 

Reminds me... they had a trampoline in the back yard, and a daughter who I told myself was over 18.

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GoPokes83

GoPokes83 2240

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I don't know about that. Showering in the morning makes it a fresh day. Showering at night makes it a funkified day. ... I always had a household rule of showing once a day. Didn't give a shit when it was with the kiddos

So… You’re up for showering with your kids regardless of what time of day it is.
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