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Dumbass Shit We See On Facebook

Vic Mackey

By Vic Mackey
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nnm

nnm 37,980

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11 minutes ago, SurlyBDR said:

Seen this in real life, except it was a cat

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On more than one winter morning growing up in the mountains in northern NM, a barn cat would sleep on the engine block because of the dissipating heat after one of us came home in the evening. We wouldn’t know until the next morning when we’d start the car and have a combination of protesting engine and screaming cat. At least one cat survived, scalped by the fan or belt. Somewhat scarred and more scraggly after that. 

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thunderlounge

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About 15 years ago I lived out in the sticks, 67 miles from work. 

Get off one day, get in the truck, start the engine and hear this whiney meow. I thought it was the radio for a minute, but then wasn’t sure. Turned it off and popped the hood as one of my buddies came over to see what was up. 
 

Open the hood and start looking around. Low and behold it was one of the barn cats. A young kitten, maybe 4 or 5 months.

Made it all the way in and through the day. Including back and forth to lunch. 
 

Needless to say she rode home in much better accommodations. 

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Kennythetiger

Kennythetiger 9,647

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5 hours ago, nnm said:

On more than one winter morning growing up in the mountains in northern NM, a barn cat would sleep on the engine block because of the dissipating heat after one of us came home in the evening. We wouldn’t know until the next morning when we’d start the car and have a combination of protesting engine and screaming cat. At least one cat survived, scalped by the fan or belt. Somewhat scarred and more scraggly after that. 

Kilt three like this. Deader’n hell. 

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Scheiss Meister

Scheiss Meister 8,475

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7 hours ago, nnm said:

On more than one winter morning growing up in the mountains in northern NM, a barn cat would sleep on the engine block because of the dissipating heat after one of us came home in the evening. We wouldn’t know until the next morning when we’d start the car and have a combination of protesting engine and screaming cat. At least one cat survived, scalped by the fan or belt. Somewhat scarred and more scraggly after that. 

In college, a female friend called and asked me to look at her engine because when she started it, there was a loud thump, odd screeching noise, then the engine ran rough and didn't sound right.  I went over and opened the hood on a scene of epic horror.  There was blood, guts, and fur everywhere, including the carburetor intake.  The only recognizable part was a torn up cat head.  One of the nastiest things I ever saw.  I helped clean it up, but that car never smelled right after that.

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nnm

nnm 37,980

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49 minutes ago, Scheiss Meister said:

In college, a female friend called and asked me to look at her engine because when she started it, there was a loud thump, odd screeching noise, then the engine ran rough and didn't sound right.  I went over and opened the hood on a scene of epic horror.  There was blood, guts, and fur everywhere, including the carburetor intake.  The only recognizable part was a torn up cat head.  One of the nastiest things I ever saw.  I helped clean it up, but that car never smelled right after that.

The sound of a cat screaming as a fan or fan belt scalps or dismembers it is not one you will forget. 
We also raised rabbits for food and one woke up mid-skinning because the conk on the base of the head only stunned and did not kill it. That sound is also seared in my brain. 

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Scheiss Meister

Scheiss Meister 8,475

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14 minutes ago, nnm said:

The sound of a cat screaming as a fan or fan belt scalps or dismembers it is not one you will forget. 
We also raised rabbits for food and one woke up mid-skinning because the conk on the base of the head only stunned and did not kill it. That sound is also seared in my brain. 

I was thankful that I didn't hear it.  When I got there, my friend was sick and crying.  She told me later that she had nightmares featuring that screeching for months.

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gofuckyourself

gofuckyourself 9,091

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1 hour ago, Scheiss Meister said:

In college, a female friend called and asked me to look at her engine because when she started it, there was a loud thump, odd screeching noise, then the engine ran rough and didn't sound right.  I went over and opened the hood on a scene of epic horror.  There was blood, guts, and fur everywhere, including the carburetor intake.  The only recognizable part was a torn up cat head.  One of the nastiest things I ever saw.  I helped clean it up, but that car never smelled right after that.

I was about to say defeated, but she did get you to clean it up.

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8,889

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18 hours ago, WithoutAClue said:

340933065_236941832194877_71723880594689

 

18 hours ago, YGIFS said:

"As far as I can tell, your entire vehicular enterprise is little more than a solitary car with a messy engine bay which may or may not contain a chicken." \

Had an employee who had a similar problem...it was a can of Vienna sausages.

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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 106,981

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Counterpoint: the Friday late afternoon flight on SWA when they had the “lounge seats” configuration - 2 sets of 6 seats facing each other - was a gotdamn party. Especially among the frequent fliers, who would have books of drink coupons ready to go. A coupla beers in the terminal before your flight, 2-4 more on the flight….it was one of the most hoppin’ bars in town.
Bonus: on the weekend, it could get even rowdier. Flight to ABQ with a buddy to go fly fishing for a long weekend. Sitting next to a little Hispanic lady doing needle point. Buddy lamenting how he just can’t find a gal, last two he dated were duds. Law school classmate of mine comes on board, I mention how sweet and cool she is, motion her to sit with us. Get some drinks in us all - so why are you heading to ABQ? She answers “well…there’s a bull rider there I’ve been fuckin’, but he decided he found Jesus and won’t fuck me anymore. So I’m gonna try and seduce him one last time, and if that doesn’t work, I’m moving on.” A few minutes later, she gets up to hit the lav, my buddy says “I thought you said she was sweet?” “Well, as far as I knew, she was! I didn’t know this side of her.” Then, outta nowhere, little Hispanic lady doing needle point elbows my friend - “oye, you should date HER.”
Loved those seats.
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Scheiss Meister

Scheiss Meister 8,475

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16 minutes ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Well, he literally cleans actual shit for a living. So it couldn't have been too bad.

1) I didn't clean up shit at that time.

2) It was far, far worse than the nastiest shit I have cleaned up.

3) The nastiest shit I have cleaned up was in my son's diaper, not at work.  Damn, he had some disgusting turds.  I know we didn't feed him anything that nasty.

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Born to Run

Born to Run 6,601

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1) I didn't clean up shit at that time.
2) It was far, far worse than the nastiest shit I have cleaned up.
3) The nastiest shit I have cleaned up was in my son's diaper, not at work.  Damn, he had some disgusting turds.  I know we didn't feed him anything that nasty.
On this Sunday let us revel in the mystery of Shit. How can xyz In be so foul coming out. The lord works in mysterious ways indeed.
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Incredulity

Incredulity 11,880

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On 4/15/2023 at 7:14 AM, nnm said:

On more than one winter morning growing up in the mountains in northern NM, a barn cat would sleep on the engine block because of the dissipating heat after one of us came home in the evening. We wouldn’t know until the next morning when we’d start the car and have a combination of protesting engine and screaming cat. At least one cat survived, scalped by the fan or belt. Somewhat scarred and more scraggly after that. 

First cat of my childhood was ended this way.  Fairly traumatic as a 5 year old to hear and see the results.

Later that year, we lost the next cat when she was "playing" with our dog.  They spent a few minutes sniffing each other, then frolicking in a joyful bliss.  Then suddenly the dog decided the cat was a chew toy.  Picked up the cat, gave it a few shakes.  No more cat.  I remember asking my dad if the cat was going to wake up.

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SquishMitten

SquishMitten 10,497

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23 hours ago, Brisketexan said:


Counterpoint: the Friday late afternoon flight on SWA when they had the “lounge seats” configuration - 2 sets of 6 seats facing each other - was a gotdamn party. Especially among the frequent fliers, who would have books of drink coupons ready to go. A coupla beers in the terminal before your flight, 2-4 more on the flight….it was one of the most hoppin’ bars in town.
Bonus: on the weekend, it could get even rowdier. Flight to ABQ with a buddy to go fly fishing for a long weekend. Sitting next to a little Hispanic lady doing needle point. Buddy lamenting how he just can’t find a gal, last two he dated were duds. Law school classmate of mine comes on board, I mention how sweet and cool she is, motion her to sit with us. Get some drinks in us all - so why are you heading to ABQ? She answers “well…there’s a bull rider there I’ve been fuckin’, but he decided he found Jesus and won’t fuck me anymore. So I’m gonna try and seduce him one last time, and if that doesn’t work, I’m moving on.” A few minutes later, she gets up to hit the lav, my buddy says “I thought you said she was sweet?” “Well, as far as I knew, she was! I didn’t know this side of her.” Then, outta nowhere, little Hispanic lady doing needle point elbows my friend - “oye, you should date HER.”
Loved those seats.

Fuck yeah. Same on Vonlane. That's the party section. Most of my trips in those seats, the stewardess will continue serving everyone well beyond their policy limit as long as you don't get too wild. They know those are their regulars. 

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