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Posted

The ducks around my lake house have decided my dock is a great place to hop out of the water and shit. I need something solar powered and motion activated. I’ve seen the sonic horns, but prices are $35 to $255… any recommendations?

Posted

Are they doing something to your pier that you don't like or?  Why do you want to get rid of them?  

Posted

Just teach 'em to go off the edge like polite guests.  Or show them videos of how foie gras is made.  

Between the Russians, the Insurrectionists, and the Ducks...I gotta be the discipline guy around here?  I just wanna hang out, have some drinks and a few laughs. 

Posted
Are they doing something to your pier that you don't like or?  Why do you want to get rid of them?  

They shit all over the dock. I don’t want to injure them, just don’t want bird shit all over the dock.
Posted

What teenage mutant ninja turtles franchise has made billions.  Why can't we do the same with ninja ducks?  The training montage on the dock at dawn alone would draw millions.  I think we can hammer out a script by Tuesday.

Posted
Do you have a dog?  Seems like giving Fido room to roam would solve your problem pretty quickly.

We have a dog. We do not live at the property. It’s a family place, so I’m looking for something I can set and forget.

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