If All The Presidents Got in a Fistfight, Who Would Win?

[MaybeACoordinator 8,349]

Lincoln seems to have had regard strength, and I think it would come down to him and Ford, who was the most elite modern-ish day athlete to have been president. I think Lincoln wins. 

[Hornius Emeritus 12,408]

Abe. He had the size, the strength, the moxy and the pathos. 

[52-80 19,076]

3 hours ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

Lincoln seems to have had regard strength, and I think it would come down to him and Ford, who was the most elite modern-ish day athlete to have been president. I think Lincoln wins. 

OTOH, Lincoln was taken down by a Deringer ...and you know what they say about Deringers...

 

 

[Archer 474]

I’m going TR. He lost an eye boxing while in the White House. 

 

I’ll take the man who actually trained and sparred on the regular versus the untrained. 

[Gardner Barnes 1,562]

Canecutter is right. As much as I admire Lincoln's body of work, Washington was the baddest motherfucker ever to hold that office.

  

Seriously. The dude was like 6’4 240

 

 

Also. This thread is awesome. Perhaps the first great original Surly thread.

 

I submit James K Polk. Look at this fucking mullet. He may have been a mediocre president but you know not a fuck is given because mullet.

 

[Stunns38 3,357]

Who would be the wimpiest of presidents....I have Harding Vs. Obama. Trump and Carter wouldn’t be far behind.

[RDCanecutter 26,246]

Carter would be the one they all picked on until he cried. Then he'd go to the Presidential Cafeteria door-- and lock it. Then he'd knock the shit out of somebody, still crying.

[RPM 26,209]

Carter would tell them to suck on these nuts and come at them with a framing hammer.

[MaybeACoordinator 8,349]

Yeah I don't get the idea that Carter was a pussy. I bet he could take out every other president in my lifetime except Ford: Nixon, the Bushes, Clinton, Obama, Reagan and Trump. 

[Goredho 17,341]

And it wouldn’t be close...

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

20 hours ago, RDCanecutter said:

Carter would be the one they all picked on until he cried. Then he'd go to the Presidential Cafeteria door-- and lock it. Then he'd knock the shit out of somebody, still crying.

I'm a fan of the man from Ga.  He was a mid shipman in a time when you had to defend yourself.  He's a sneaky brawler I bet.  

I mean really, just look what he did to that horrible, fanged and deadly amphibious rabbit (and he didn't need a holy hand grenade).

Nice coward of the County reference btw. 

[burntorangebongos 10,681]

On 5/30/2018 at 9:06 PM, Archer said:

I’m going TR. He lost an eye boxing while in the White House. 

 

I’ll take the man who actually trained and sparred on the regular versus the untrained. 

Dude was 5'7", as fiesty as he was, he'd get his ass kicked by the heavyweights, Washington, Lincoln or Ford.

[Gardner Barnes 1,562]

Dude was 5'7", as fiesty as he was, he'd get his ass kicked by the heavyweights, Washington, Lincoln or Ford.

Plus Washington didn’t have any teeth so he wouldn’t give a fuck if you punched him in the mouth.

[JBJ 3,648]

3 hours ago, burntorangebongos said:

Dude was 5'7", as fiesty as he was, he'd get his ass kicked by the heavyweights, Washington, Lincoln or Ford.

TR and Ford are heavyweights. 

Lincoln and Washington are cruiserweights.

Which is why I think it is silly that Lincoln seems to be the crowd favorite.  LBJ gives up an inch of height for a frame that can carry 30-40 more pounds.

Edited June 1, 2018 by JBJ

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

7 minutes ago, JBJ said:

TR and Ford are heavyweights. 

Lincoln and Washington are cruiserweights.

Which is why I think it is silly that Lincoln seems to be the crowd favorite.  LBJ gives up an inch of height for a frame that can carry 30-40 more pounds.

Lincoln was a friggin' hard ass country boy who made a living splitting rails. He was tough, sinewy and had a reach that would work to his advantage.  Washington was pudgy and probably not in great shape (still one of my favorites though).  

LBJ would have fought dirty of course, bit would be a tough customer.

[Archer 474]

3 hours ago, burntorangebongos said:

Dude was 5'7", as fiesty as he was, he'd get his ass kicked by the heavyweights, Washington, Lincoln or Ford.

With all of my 30 seconds of google I’m finding 5’10” and 240#, dude was Daniel Cormier in the White House. I’m doubling down. 

[Guest]

On 5/30/2018 at 9:17 PM, Gardner Barnes said:

  Also. This thread is awesome. Perhaps the first great original Surly thread.

 

This is an old internet debate.  It pops up in various versions periodically.  Washington,Lincoln, and TR are usually agreed to be the top contenders.  

https://faceintheblue.wordpress.com/2012/08/22/in-a-mass-knife-fight-to-the-death-between-every-american-president-who-would-win-and-why/

 

Edited June 1, 2018 by Guest

[RDCanecutter 26,246]

It's an old question because it's an important question.

[JBJ 3,648]

 

3 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Lincoln was a friggin' hard ass country boy who made a living splitting rails. He was tough, sinewy and had a reach that would work to his advantage.  Washington was pudgy and probably not in great shape (still one of my favorites though).  

LBJ would have fought dirty of course, bit would be a tough customer.

But sinewy means he's giving up the advantage in knockout power and clinch that a taller fighter should have.  A shorter heavier fighter is just going to let the weak long range jabs bounce off while being able to respond with quicker, more powerful counters.

Edited June 1, 2018 by JBJ

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

13 minutes ago, JBJ said:

 

But sinewy means he's giving up the advantage in knockout power and clinch that a taller fighter should have.  A shorter heavier fighter is just going to let the weak long range jabs bounce off while being able to respond with quicker, more powerful counters.

Lincoln made a living working with his hands, doing tough manual labor as a young man.

Washington worked a surveyors transit, and ran regiments from horseback.   I'm going with the braun of Ol Honest Abe.

Abe was born in a log cabin. Washington to the manor born.

Took a bullet to the head to kill Abe.  Took a drizzly ride in the country, and a cold to do George in.

Of course George did do that whole create a nation from nothing  thingy...

Edited June 1, 2018 by Onboard 2.0

[po elvis 2,070]

which MMA fighter would make the best President?

[JBJ 3,648]

None of that matters if his punches aren't able to push back his opponent.  You can have a vulcan death grip and delts sticking up to your ears but that won't add 30lbs to your punches.

Edited June 1, 2018 by JBJ

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

Just now, JBJ said:

None of that matters if his punches aren't able to push back his opponent.  You can have a vulcan death grip and delts sticking up to your ears and it won't add 30lbs to your punches.

Lincoln was a bad ass, George was a pudgy and soft.  I bet he never got in a fight his adult life.  Lots of accounts of Abe mixing it up with the boys in Illinois.  And don't get me started on the wooden teeth.

[JBJ 3,648]

5 minutes ago, po elvis said:

which MMA fighter would make the best President?

George St Pierre: friendly smile, good interviewee, seems like a good guy to grab a beer with. He's also ineligible, though.