Family member you are most embarrassed of

[40acredropout 2902]

I debated whether this merited a new thread given the crossover with the Bitch About Your Family Holiday saga. 

I figured there are likely posters (like me) who avoid family at all costs and don't have the in-person encounters that we read about in those threads.

So in that same vein, who is the family member you would last want to bump into in front of respected friends/colleagues.  Or last you would want to let stay in your house for a week.  You get the point.

I present my (second) cousin Jeff.  ~24 years old.  Bounces around shithole Texas panhandle towns every ~3-6 months, job after job.  Meat packing plants, construction, farm hand, fast food... whatever.  Met his first wife Desember (yes, that is the spelling) at his senior prom.  Married in June.  Two kids in next three years.  Now divorced.  Probably my favorite story is that he and Desember balled out for their honeymoon and went to the waterpark in Oklahoma City.  And shared a hotel room with her mom, her sister, and her sister's two kids.

 

 

 

 

Edited September 26, 2022 by 40acredropout

[Hpara759 1780]

3 minutes ago, 40acredropout said:

Shithole Texas panhandle towns 

 

Really?   And your examples?

[40acredropout 2902]

1 minute ago, Hpara759 said:

Really?   And your examples?

Ones that even people from the Panhandle turn theirs noses up to.  

[Pato del Muerto 52606]

[Sbbruin 21893]

Lots of potential here.  

I don't have a ton of contact with my extended family.  My BIL (wife's bro) married a Laughlin, NV casino cocktail waitress with a huge rack, a fucked up kid (who now as an adult has been in and out of jail and I think is homeless), and is just the white trashiest chick I know (no pics, can't dox).  And she's psychotic.  I absolutely dread ever spending time with them.

 

[UnivTex34 1763]

14 minutes ago, 40acredropout said:

Ones that even people from the Panhandle turn theirs noses up to.  

If memory serves, @Hpara759 is one of those Panhandle folks. Amarillo maybe? Trying to get his nose turned up my man.

[Moby Ric 2058]

2 hours ago, 40acredropout said:

 

So in that same vein, who is the family member you would last want to bump into in front of respected friends/colleagues.  Or last you would want to let stay in your house for a week.  You get the point.

 

 

For some posters here, it is themselves that fit this description.

Edited April 1, 2022 by Moby Ric

[Knoxtnhorn 6066]

Before he tags me ... @Jameslaw121

Just kidding.  He's pretty cool.  It's more annoyance than embarassment but, my SIL.

[Guest]

OP shouldn't be embarrassed.

That shit should be celebrated.

[WhatTheBuck 28798]

Any family member who makes long posts with a bunch of embedded tweets, animated gifs, or TikTik videos. 

[Jameslaw121 4448]

21 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Before he tags me ... @Jameslaw121

Just kidding.  He's pretty cool.  It's more annoyance than embarassment but, my SIL.

Going to go with our other brother's wife. Or ex-wife or whatever the fuck she is this week.

[TheStoicPaisano 9939]

Darryl?

[Chewbacca 7786]

How about my 81 year old dad who embezzled my college fund that was set up by my grandpa (dad was the trustee) so he could buy an S-class Mercedes in the mid 80s?  He lives in an apartment that I pay for because I would kill him if he lived under my roof.

[Knoxtnhorn 6066]

My wife's sister, a pharmacist, moved a couple of miles away about 4 years ago.  At first, she drove from Rowlett to the Las Colinas area.  Her company offered to allow her to work from home.  All she had to do was wake up, walk into the next room, put on a headset, and answer questions from customers to earn her 6-figure paycheck.  This was apparently too much.  Three years ago, she was "diagnosed" with a throat disorder which, apparently, kept her from being able simply answer questions on a headset.  Now, mind you, when she showed up on football Saturdays OR on road trips, she didn't stop talking for hours on end.  But, God forbid, she actually muster up the energy to talk per her job requirements.  Essentially, she has been on some sort of ADA scam where she still gets paid, but doesn't actually work.  She still gets all or most of her pay, but she - literally - doesn't work.  On top of this, she'll show up every other day complaining about how difficult her life is or how she has a headache or how her back is so sore, etc...  

TL;DR - SIL makes 6-figs despite not working because she can, apparently, only yap during football games or trips.

[40acredropout 2902]

52 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Any family member who makes long posts with a bunch of embedded tweets, animated gifs, or TikTik videos. 

Know I gotta get my shit together when WTB is calling my posts long. 

[Bill Brasky 1461]

4 hours ago, Hpara759 said:

Really?   And your examples?

anything north of interstate 40 

[GhostOfTomJoad 9352]

My maternal grandfather faked his own death in hopes of collecting on an insurance policy.

In '76 he reappeared, massively upsetting the apple cart. I remember being hauled into a room and being instructed to greet this guy we'd never met before with a hardy "hello grampa" cheer when he came through the door. Tough to sort out at 7.

Anyway, dipshit walks in the door then immediately falls over drunk into a cactus plant. They peel him off it, see dozens of quills sticking in his face and torso and scoop him up to take him to the ER.

The grand finale is he was fiercely Italian, with one of the most Italian names imaginable. Years later we discovered he was adopted & was Irish/German with not a drop of Italian blood in him.

[Sbbruin 21893]

17 minutes ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

The grand finale is he was fiercely Italian, with one of the most Italian names imaginable. Years later we discovered he was adopted & was Irish/German with not a drop of Italian blood in him.
 

So instead of being a dago guinea wop greaseball goombah, he was a kraut mick?

[Dewey 3294]

My cousin Eddie, dude lives in Coolage Kansas, middle of nowhere. Has a whore for a daughter, always walking around with a six pack of Coors, asking for money all the time and swears up and down that hamburger helper is good all on its own. One thing I give him props for is his homemade tomato ketchup. 

[40acredropout 2902]

2 hours ago, slorch said:

OP shouldn't be embarrassed.

That shit should be celebrated.

I guess I’m all for celebrating it with internet strangers.  But in real life? Definitely embarrassed.

[40acredropout 2902]

16 minutes ago, Dewey said:

My cousin Eddie, dude lives in Coolage Kansas, middle of nowhere. Has a whore for a daughter, always walking around with a six pack of Coors, asking for money all the time and swears up and down that hamburger helper is good all on its own. One thing I give him props for is his homemade tomato ketchup. 

Pics of second cousin?

[Guest]

8 minutes ago, 40acredropout said:

I guess I’m all for celebrating it with internet strangers.  But in real life? Definitely embarrassed.

You can't make choices for other folks.  i guess I just don't get the "embarrassment" part.

Do you see their fuckups/ missteps as a reflection upon you?  Yeah, I've been known to remind people I'm adopted when it comes to my brothers- but it's just a fucking joke...most of the time.  I can't change what they do/ have done.  Fuck it...  Can't sit there and dwell on things I don't control.

 

Edited April 2, 2022 by slorch

[Born to Run 6569]

My brother. He's an aggie, but not undergrad. So just dumb trolling with less booger eating.

[dcbc 14510]

1 hour ago, slorch said:

You can't make choices for other folks.  i guess I just don't get the "embarrassment" part.

Do you see their fuckups/ missteps as a reflection upon you?  Yeah, I've been known to remind people I'm adopted when it comes to my brothers- but it's just a fucking joke...most of the time.  I can't change what they do/ have done.  Fuck it...  Can't sit there and dwell on things I don't control.

 

Yeah, but I still get that it might suck at times to be OJ's kid.

[Frank The Tank 1497]

1 hour ago, 40acredropout said:

Pics of second cousin?

[atomheartbevo 89805]

1 hour ago, slorch said:

You can't make choices for other folks.  i guess I just don't get the "embarrassment" part.

Do you see their fuckups/ missteps as a reflection upon you?  Yeah, I've been known to remind people I'm adopted when it comes to my brothers- but it's just a fucking joke...most of the time.  I can't change what they do/ have done.  Fuck it...  Can't sit there and dwell on things I don't control.

On the one hand, I somewhat agree with this.  It should not reflect upon us.  And I'm not sure if "embarrassment" is even the right word in a lot of cases, because we are talking about family members, and not something embarrassing like an ex-gf who walks up to you in a group of people and starts joking that if you claim you have a 7-inch dick, it's really more like 6.9 or even 6.8  inches.  That is something out of your control and embarrassing, but family members?  Plenty of us have a Cousin Eddie in the family tree and if there is embarrassment, it's more about the negative impact he may have on his immediate family members and less about reflecting upon you.

On the other hand, I have a qanon in-law who is more than happy to try and educate everybody else about things like how our COVID vaccines are going to make her sick because spike proteins or other stupid fucking conspiracy theories.  The fact that she spent around 6 or so years at UT does not help, although she did not graduate.  Honestly, it would be fantastic and not embarrassing if her conspiracy theories were about mundane things like JFK or UFOs, but they aren't.

And I'm aware of the saying that it's easy to fool somebody, hard to convince them that they've been fooled, and it's even more of an apt saying in this day and age of social media.

Here's the problem, and maybe you have a better word for it than "embarrassment", but when said qanon relative starts popping off around a group of people you know about how vaccines are about tracking your movement or how she has to now mask up because vaccinated people are shedding spike proteins that will kill her, it becomes "embarrassing" in the sense that other people are looking at you like "why aren't you getting her help for her mental health problems?" as if there is a failure on your part for not helping her.  

So it becomes an "embarrassment" not in the sense of what she believes, but in the sense that you aren't helping her to get help, so you are failing her.

It's like if an aggy relative walked up to you in a group of people and started talking about how aggy is going to win the SEC this year and play for the championships, and the other people in the group are looking at you like "that's coming in right over the plate, how are you not even trying to swing at that?"

[Chewbacca 7786]

My cousin Eddie, dude lives in Coolage Kansas, middle of nowhere. Has a whore for a daughter, always walking around with a six pack of Coors, asking for money all the time and swears up and down that hamburger helper is good all on its own. One thing I give him props for is his homemade tomato ketchup. 

That you, Clark?

[Bullneck 19210]

4 hours ago, Chewbacca said:

How about my 81 year old dad who embezzled my college fund that was set up by my grandpa (dad was the trustee) so he could buy an S-class Mercedes in the mid 80s?  He lives in an apartment that I pay for because I would kill him if he lived under my roof.

wasthatwrong.gif

[Bullneck 19210]

4 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

My wife's sister, a pharmacist, moved a couple of miles away about 4 years ago.  At first, she drove from Rowlett to the Las Colinas area.  Her company offered to allow her to work from home.  All she had to do was wake up, walk into the next room, put on a headset, and answer questions from customers to earn her 6-figure paycheck.  This was apparently too much.  Three years ago, she was "diagnosed" with a throat disorder which, apparently, kept her from being able simply answer questions on a headset.  Now, mind you, when she showed up on football Saturdays OR on road trips, she didn't stop talking for hours on end.  But, God forbid, she actually muster up the energy to talk per her job requirements.  Essentially, she has been on some sort of ADA scam where she still gets paid, but doesn't actually work.  She still gets all or most of her pay, but she - literally - doesn't work.  On top of this, she'll show up every other day complaining about how difficult her life is or how she has a headache or how her back is so sore, etc...  

TL;DR - SIL makes 6-figs despite not working because she can, apparently, only yap during football games or trips.

My sister's husband lives a couple of miles away.  He's always suspicious of my debilitating illness that won't let me perform the work I was put on this earth to do.  My proof?  Well, I'm so good (or was) that I make six figures at it.  But now I suffer from throatitis and occasionally a sore back.  You have no idea how hard it is.  The worst part is this doushy BIL suspects I'm just faking.  

[RPM 26355]

I'd have a hard time singling one out. But I'm confident if you ask any member of my family... I'm the answer.

[mchookem 16386]

[ztejas 43538]

11 hours ago, Moby Ric said:

For some posters here, it is themselves that fit this description.

I mean this is my quick go to. But it's really only true for one of four sides of my family. And even then I don't really embarrass anyone. So as much as I'd like to qualify I don't, really. 

9 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

My wife's sister, a pharmacist, moved a couple of miles away about 4 years ago.  At first, she drove from Rowlett to the Las Colinas area.  Her company offered to allow her to work from home.  All she had to do was wake up, walk into the next room, put on a headset, and answer questions from customers to earn her 6-figure paycheck.  This was apparently too much.  Three years ago, she was "diagnosed" with a throat disorder which, apparently, kept her from being able simply answer questions on a headset.  Now, mind you, when she showed up on football Saturdays OR on road trips, she didn't stop talking for hours on end.  But, God forbid, she actually muster up the energy to talk per her job requirements.  Essentially, she has been on some sort of ADA scam where she still gets paid, but doesn't actually work.  She still gets all or most of her pay, but she - literally - doesn't work.  On top of this, she'll show up every other day complaining about how difficult her life is or how she has a headache or how her back is so sore, etc...  

TL;DR - SIL makes 6-figs despite not working because she can, apparently, only yap during football games or trips.

Despite her driving you crazy during games or road trips, kind of sounds like she's winning... 

9 hours ago, 40acredropout said:

Know I gotta get my shit together when WTB is calling my posts long. 

The TikTok's irritated me (not that I watched any of them) but then again every other WTB post irritates me. 

[Bevo&Pevo 5220]

10 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

My wife's sister, a pharmacist, moved a couple of miles away about 4 years ago.  At first, she drove from Rowlett to the Las Colinas area.  Her company offered to allow her to work from home.  All she had to do was wake up, walk into the next room, put on a headset, and answer questions from customers to earn her 6-figure paycheck.  This was apparently too much.  Three years ago, she was "diagnosed" with a throat disorder which, apparently, kept her from being able simply answer questions on a headset.  Now, mind you, when she showed up on football Saturdays OR on road trips, she didn't stop talking for hours on end.  But, God forbid, she actually muster up the energy to talk per her job requirements.  Essentially, she has been on some sort of ADA scam where she still gets paid, but doesn't actually work.  She still gets all or most of her pay, but she - literally - doesn't work.  On top of this, she'll show up every other day complaining about how difficult her life is or how she has a headache or how her back is so sore, etc...  

TL;DR - SIL makes 6-figs despite not working because she can, apparently, only yap during football games or trips.

She probably just needs her throat "rodded" out.  

[CooterBrown 18031]

How about my 81 year old dad who embezzled my college fund that was set up by my grandpa (dad was the trustee) so he could buy an S-class Mercedes in the mid 80s?  He lives in an apartment that I pay for because I would kill him if he lived under my roof.

You should let him be homeless.

[Crapinon 2270]

I had a cousin who was always looking for easy money. He was a compulsive gambler, bought emu's and opened a dry cleaners just so he could have a front for his attempt at being a bookie. I'm the only one he never swindled money from. When his wife died in '86 she modified her will to put her 20 yo son in charge of the money ($400K+). She split it 4 ways, between my cousin and their three kids, two under 13. He was to manage it it until the others turned 18. My cousin badgered the oldest to turn over the younger siblings money to him for "investments". Within 2 years he had spent it all on slots in Vegas. At the end no one in the family would even return his calls. He ended up moving into a senior facility and swindling the really old widows out of monthly living expenses.

His youngest son ended up going to (and is in) prison for drugs. His oldest son lost his child to a drug overdose. I could write another story on him but I don't want to CR the tread up. Let's just say he was in Washington during the January rally.

His oldest sons "mentor" is another cousin who even more politically bonkers than he is and is from Oklahoma. He thinks Barry Switzer was a fine moral man who got run off from ou because of jealous professors and admin.

[CooterBrown 18031]

Over a decade, my cousin stole around $400K from our grandma. She repeated 3rd grade. She had 2 kids by two different prisoners at the prison where she worked as a guard. She already had 2 other kids. She was too lazy to register the kids for school so the oldest didn’t start kindergarten until he was 8. While in Houston, her boyfriend’s friend shot her in the gut in a robbery to steal the $10K she had in her purse for a tit job. Her kid got bit by a copperhead and while at ER told the doctor she didn’t feel well and they save her life from a blood clot resulting from that old gunshot wound. The family praised Jesus for watching over her. Her dad, the enabler, gave her his 7 series BMW since she needed a car. She let her 12 YO borrow it to go to the mall 35 miles away. That 12 YO had a kid a year later making her a mid 30s grandma.

Outside of funerals, I haven’t seen any extended family since I went to UT in 1990. I don’t regret that decision. Hearing this shit from my parents is bad enough.

[Incredulity 11683]

1 hour ago, CooterBrown said:

Over a decade, my cousin stole around $400K from our grandma. She repeated 3rd grade. She had 2 kids by two different prisoners at the prison where she worked as a guard. She already had 2 other kids. She was too lazy to register the kids for school so the oldest didn’t start kindergarten until he was 8. While in Houston, her boyfriend’s friend shot her in the gut in a robbery to steal the $10K she had in her purse for a tit job. Her kid got bit by a copperhead and while at ER told the doctor she didn’t feel well and they save her life from a blood clot resulting from that old gunshot wound. The family praised Jesus for watching over her. Her dad, the enabler, gave her his 7 series BMW since she needed a car. She let her 12 YO borrow it to go to the mall 35 miles away. That 12 YO had a kid a year later making her a mid 30s grandma.

[BehoId, The Underminer! 11669]

I’m from a very large family so I have a lot of options but the commonality between everyone that does something embarrassing is that they are each Aggy. 

[nnm 36650]

16 hours ago, 40acredropout said:

Pics of second cousin?

His first cousin’s daughter is his first cousin once removed. 

[WhatTheBuck 28798]

Damnit. I misspelled TikTok. I’m a problem child.

[TrashMaster G 17601]

19 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

My wife's sister, a pharmacist, moved a couple of miles away about 4 years ago.  At first, she drove from Rowlett to the Las Colinas area.  Her company offered to allow her to work from home.  All she had to do was wake up, walk into the next room, put on a headset, and answer questions from customers to earn her 6-figure paycheck.  This was apparently too much.  Three years ago, she was "diagnosed" with a throat disorder which, apparently, kept her from being able simply answer questions on a headset.  Now, mind you, when she showed up on football Saturdays OR on road trips, she didn't stop talking for hours on end.  But, God forbid, she actually muster up the energy to talk per her job requirements.  Essentially, she has been on some sort of ADA scam where she still gets paid, but doesn't actually work.  She still gets all or most of her pay, but she - literally - doesn't work.  On top of this, she'll show up every other day complaining about how difficult her life is or how she has a headache or how her back is so sore, etc...  

TL;DR - SIL makes 6-figs despite not working because she can, apparently, only yap during football games or trips.

SOMEBODY ought to capture some video of her at a football game and send it along to her employer.

 

4 hours ago, Crapinon said:

I had a cousin who was always looking for easy money. He was a compulsive gambler, bought emu's and opened a dry cleaners just so he could have a front for his attempt at being a bookie. I'm the only one he never swindled money from. When his wife died in '86 she modified her will to put her 20 yo son in charge of the money ($400K+). She split it 4 ways, between my cousin and their three kids, two under 13. He was to manage it it until the others turned 18. My cousin badgered the oldest to turn over the younger siblings money to him for "investments". Within 2 years he had spent it all on slots in Vegas. At the end no one in the family would even return his calls. He ended up moving into a senior facility and swindling the really old widows out of monthly living expenses.

His youngest son ended up going to (and is in) prison for drugs. His oldest son lost his child to a drug overdose. I could write another story on him but I don't want to CR the tread up. Let's just say he was in Washington during the January rally.

His oldest sons "mentor" is another cousin who even more politically bonkers than he is and is from Oklahoma. He thinks Barry Switzer was a fine moral man who got run off from ou because of jealous professors and admin.

Bought emu's what?

[SHOOTER12 8829]

Rather than embarrassed by...will disgusted by work?

[Crapinon 2270]

55 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said:

SOMEBODY ought to capture some video of her at a football game and send it along to her employer.

 

Bought emu's what?

At one time, emu's were THE get rich scheme. Buy them, breed them and sell them. King of the Hill did a pretty good show on the lunacy. Kind of like chinchillas in the 60's. 

[futureman 22547]

none of them. I come from the finest stock. we are all doctors and lawyers and scientists. 

[Born to Run 6569]

At one time, emu's were THE get rich scheme. Buy them, breed them and sell them. King of the Hill did a pretty good show on the lunacy. Kind of like chinchillas in the 60's. 

One rancher I used to work for bought a bunch of them in the early late 80s. They all got fried when lighting hit the tree they were huddled under during a storm.

[66BUFF 2565]

1 hour ago, futureman said:

none of them. I come from the finest stock. we are all doctors and lawyers and scientists. 

“If you can’t spot the sucker in your first half-hour at the table, then you are the sucker.”

[nnm 36650]

Not really a family member, but a member of an extended community I’m a part of is so obsessed with a rival that he pens endless screeds exposing their cultish behavior. Again and again 

[GhostOfTomJoad 9352]

2 hours ago, Crapinon said:

At one time, emu's were THE get rich scheme. Buy them, breed them and sell them. King of the Hill did a pretty good show on the lunacy. Kind of like chinchillas in the 60's. 

Yep. Late '80s - mid '90s every other guy you'd run into was trying to convince you to buy into emus.  If you listened to them they'd tell you they were gonna be the biggest, can't miss ranching opportunity ever. I'm sure a few people made a couple bucks, but the rest of 'em got stuck with 5' tall birds that would bite the shit out of you.

[Sbbruin 21893]

8 hours ago, CooterBrown said:

Over a decade, my cousin stole around $400K from our grandma. She repeated 3rd grade. She had 2 kids by two different prisoners at the prison where she worked as a guard. She already had 2 other kids. She was too lazy to register the kids for school so the oldest didn’t start kindergarten until he was 8. While in Houston, her boyfriend’s friend shot her in the gut in a robbery to steal the $10K she had in her purse for a tit job. Her kid got bit by a copperhead and while at ER told the doctor she didn’t feel well and they save her life from a blood clot resulting from that old gunshot wound. The family praised Jesus for watching over her. Her dad, the enabler, gave her his 7 series BMW since she needed a car. She let her 12 YO borrow it to go to the mall 35 miles away. That 12 YO had a kid a year later making her a mid 30s grandma.

Outside of funerals, I haven’t seen any extended family since I went to UT in 1990. I don’t regret that decision. Hearing this shit from my parents is bad enough.

Whelp.  Lock it up.  

[Sbbruin 21893]

2 hours ago, futureman said:

none of them. I come from the finest stock. we are all doctors and lawyers and scientists.