Latitude Margaritaville - Jimmy Buffett-inspired 55+ Community Coming to Austin/Dallas/Houston

[Bojack 2081]

8 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

I’m getting in on the Juggalo retirement market before they start retiring. 

Because of their sound planning and investment, most Juggalos are probably already retired.

[Homercles 10206]

That New Yorker article was excellent.  Loved the line on Buffett ‘A poor man’s Gordon Lightfoot grows into a drinking man’s Martha Stewart’.  

[atomheartbevo 89732]

6 hours ago, Bojack said:

I assume that of any public water park or pool, regardless of age.  The one place I never saw a line at Schlitterbahn was for the restrooms.  

[atomheartbevo 89732]

5 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

The more I think about this, the more ragey I get.....because someone is going to figure out how to develop one of these aimed RIGHT at my wife's demographic, and I'm going to end up stuck in "Harry Potter Village with soundtrack by Duran Duran" and I am going to have to drink hemlock.

4 hours ago, longhornmatt said:

They’re going to have activities like “potions class” where you make your own lavender scented potpourri.  The wives are going to hold decade long grudges and engage in cliques / gossip / palace intrigues all over what group the HOA version of the Sorting Hat places people in.  There will be kickbacks as wives will force you to grease palms to make sure you get to live in the Gryffindor or Ravenclaw wing, even though they are identical to the Slytherin and Hufflepuff wings.  

Brisket, when that time comes, I will join you on the ledge on top of Hogwarts' Great Hall or whatever, but first we will need to stop off at Hogsmeade or whatever the pub/bar/drinking establishment is.  We will need some kind of cloak to make ourselves invisible to our wives.

[CoTex 1160]

Reading about the hog warts and kiss retirement communities has me thinking…

1.  I don’t want to retire in one of these communities.

2.  If I have to do so, buffet isn’t bad.  I’ll take that over Harry Potter, Kid Rock or some of the other suck ideas on here.

3.  I want to visit for a big weekend like Labor Day.  Give me 3 days to just go drink, people watch and take it in.  I’ll be like Saul Goodman running bingo.

4.  If one must live in one of these communities… what is ideal?  If you could get me a red dirt/Texas country version somewhere south of corpus on the coast, I might be in.  Alternatively, I would take a Ben Harper/jack Johnson setup in Kauai.

[atomheartbevo 89732]

27 minutes ago, CoTex said:

1.  I don’t want to retire in one of these communities.

Not everybody wants to have a lot of sex with their neighbors and drink a lot of booze in their retirement years, so that's understandable.

28 minutes ago, CoTex said:

4.  If one must live in one of these communities… what is ideal?  

Wanting to have a lot of sex with your neighbors and drink a lot of booze in your retirement years?

[atomheartbevo 89732]

@CoTex if you want to read more about these types of communities, start with the largest one, The Villages in Florida, with over 70,000 residents. 

There's a documentary about it - https://www.vox.com/22225786/some-kind-of-heaven-villages-documentary-interview-review

Basically a shit-ton of people trying to return to their college days, as @millhouse mentions:

On 4/16/2022 at 12:31 AM, millhouse said:

My parents moved to a 55+ on a colf course after I graduated. My dad and I were playing a round, cruising in his candy apple red golf cart with ez-go's version of Camaro SS rims, and I asked him how he liked it. His response "Son, this place is like college, except everyone has shitloads of money"

https://nypost.com/2009/01/25/retire-to-the-bedroom/ (although some of the statements are disputed)

Quote

Welcome to ground zero for geriatrics who are seriously getting it on.

It’s a Thursday night at one of a half-dozen hot spots at the 20,000-acre Central Florida complex called The Villages, the largest gated retirement community in America – and one of the most popular destinations for New Yorkers in their golden years – where the female-to-male ratio runs 10 to 1.

Quote

It’s a widower’s paradise, and the word on the street is that there’s a big black market for Viagra.

Though The Villages – which spans three counties with 40,000 homes and more than 70,000 residents – boasts 34 golf courses, nine country clubs, two downtown squares and a slew of restaurants and bars, getting lucky is one of the residents’ primary pastimes.

 

Edited April 20, 2022 by atomheartbevo

[Nice Guy Eddie 13515]

34 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Not everybody wants to have a lot of sex with their neighbors and drink a lot of booze in their retirement years, so that's understandable.

Wanting to have a lot of sex with your neighbors and drink a lot of booze in your retirement years?

Imaging who is in those neighborhoods, no thanks. You act like getting laid or drunk is somehow a difficult task.

[Stunns38 3536]

I’m gonna develop a retirement community for real men, men who drink whiskey and beer. Theme will be monster trucks, four wheelers and mud bogs.
Welcome to “Rednecks With Social Security Checks”

It’s called Mobile, AL.

[Stunns38 3536]

I’m gonna develop a retirement community for real men, men who drink whiskey and beer. Theme will be monster trucks, four wheelers and mud bogs.
Welcome to “Rednecks With Social Security Checks”

It’s called Mobile, AL.

[MrBig 5414]

They’ll get this shit off the ground in multiple cities, then turn it into a Time Share. Enough people will sign on to fund Margaritaville Airlines to shuffle people between properties. Flip the elderly clientele quicker by promoting nonstop travel with tons of booze and Golden Corral quantities of food. 

[po elvis 2075]

I had pretty much decided I want to be dead by around 70. This thread is changing my mind.

[Trey3216 15347]

14 hours ago, TexPx said:

I’m gonna develop a retirement community for real men, men who drink whiskey and beer. Theme will be monster trucks, four wheelers and mud bogs.

Welcome to “Rednecks With Social Security Checks”

Housing’s cheap, but that HOA is gonna be $479/mo

[Macanudo 12989]

7 hours ago, po elvis said:

I had pretty much decided I want to be dead by around 70. This thread is changing my mind.

So, by 65 then?

[Elvis 3371]

23 hours ago, CHIEF said:

They really need to open up a nursing home/hospice care facility at their locations, and actually call it "Wastin' Away Again in Margaritaville". You know some of the community members would find it humorous and ironic, and like to stay close to the friends they made. Medicare could pay for their Margaritas and Delta-8 vapes.

CHIEF

It should be a Westin - away in Margaritaville.  2 mil per year alive.  Reverse mortgage moose out front shoulda told ya.

[Gatorubet 30246]

On 4/17/2022 at 2:00 PM, Pig Bellmont said:

I’d rather be smothered in my sleep with a pillow. That place would be my own personal hell

Lots of old pirates frigging in the rigging I’d assume.   

[crash_davis 23113]

This weekend, I was driving all over Colorado looking for places to buy property to build a retirement home. 

Fuck all that. In these communities, you won't have to ask if these people are going through dementia or are they just stupid. The answer is yes. Yes, I'm moving here to get STDs at an old age, from stupid, dementia'ed women.

[Deej 76831]

4 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

Yes, I'm moving here to get STDs at an old age, from stupid, dementia'ed women

The official retirement community of South Austin's Mom..

[Brisketexan 105157]

4 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

Yes, I'm moving here to get STDs at an old age, from stupid, dementia'ed women.

It's like you're writing their marketing literature for them.

[Gil Bang 25975]

On 4/15/2022 at 10:17 AM, tx 3 putt said:

All from one song, incredible 

 

going to be a lot of fucking / swinging going on in there 

 

On 4/15/2022 at 9:05 PM, atomheartbevo said:

Those themed 55+ retirement communities really like to fuck.  And drink.  And the literature hints at it.  

 

On 4/17/2022 at 2:00 PM, atomheartbevo said:

Because they want to have a lot of sex and drink a lot of booze.  And pretend to have the “island lifestyle” that Jimmy sings about, but without white trash beachgoers and hurricanes.  

There's so much swinging and other shit going on in "The Villages" that they've developed a code: a colored "loofah" on your golf cart tells everybody else what you (and your spouse) are into. 

 

[Deej 76831]

[Brisketexan 105157]

7 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

 

 

There's so much swinging and other shit going on in "The Villages" that they've developed a code: a colored "loofah" on your golf cart tells everybody else what you (and your spouse) are into. 

 

I presume that most of those loofahs are also moldy, which really tells you the main thing you need to know.

[atomheartbevo 89732]

1 hour ago, Gil Bang said:

There's so much swinging and other shit going on in "The Villages" that they've developed a code: a colored "loofah" on your golf cart tells everybody else what you (and your spouse) are into. 

[Gil Bang 25975]

2 hours ago, longhornmatt said:

Why would someone normally put a loofah on a golf cart?  Is that really such a sly secret code?  You might as well just hang a dildo on it.

Different colors mean different things. 

[MrBig 5414]

5 hours ago, longhornmatt said:

Why would someone normally put a loofah on a golf cart?  Is that really such a sly secret code?  You might as well just hang a dildo on it.

You might have just stumbled into an industry where you can be the King of Golf Cart Sex Signal Accessories

[bolverk 29687]

7 minutes ago, MrBig said:

You might have just stumbled into an industry where you can be the King of Golf Cart Sex Signal Accessories

Put Margaritaville on the opposite bank of Martindale and fill in everything in between there and Seguin with Disneyland Central Texas--both with easy access to SH 130 and ABIA along with the Austin-San Antonio retirement/recreation markets.

I'm kidding...sort of.

[MrBig 5414]

3 minutes ago, bolverk said:

Put Margaritaville on the opposite bank of Martindale and fill in everything in between there and Seguin with Disneyland Central Texas--both with easy access to SH 130 and ABIA along with the Austin-San Antonio retirement/recreation markets.

I'm kidding...sort of.

These olds need a lazy River on their property. The Comal and Guadalupe being overtaken by Margaritaville branded shuttles and inner tubes all linked together will be a sign of the apocalypse. 

[bolverk 29687]

6 minutes ago, MrBig said:

These olds need a lazy River on their property. The Comal and Guadalupe being overtaken by Margaritaville branded shuttles and inner tubes all linked together will be a sign of the apocalypse. 

Who cares? Imagine the development opportunities between the synergistic activity nodes that would be available to somewhat overlapping audiences comprised by horny drunken olds, rascal-driving fats, and families with brats in such a dynamic and explosive real estate marketplace!

[High Plains Drifter 11050]

On 4/16/2022 at 4:46 PM, USCATX said:

I design this kind of thing for a living and feel like its shelf life is going to be short. But Hogwarts retirement land is going to get some people paaaaaid when millennials are ready to call it quits.  I have a UT quidditch national champ (also a world champ) on staff so we should be positioned well for the engineering contract.  

 

wait, what?

 

 

On 4/19/2022 at 4:14 PM, Brisketexan said:

The more I think about this, the more ragey I get.....because someone is going to figure out how to develop one of these aimed RIGHT at my wife's demographic, and I'm going to end up stuck in "Harry Potter Village with soundtrack by Duran Duran" and I am going to have to drink hemlock butterbeer.

 

fixy

 

[atomheartbevo 89732]

42 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

wait, what

UT has a world-famous Quidditch team that has won a lot of championships.  Tower has even been lit for them.

Quote

From 2013-2015 Texas Quidditch won three consecutive national championships, cementing Texas as one of the premier programs in the nation. In 2019, Texas Quidditch competed against 47 other college club teams from across the nation in the 12th annual US Quidditch Cup. Texas Quidditch went undefeated in the tournament to win the program’s 4th national championship.

https://www.longhornquidditch.org

 

They can even fly for a little while

 

[Homercles 10206]

14 hours ago, longhornmatt said:

Why would someone normally put a loofah on a golf cart?  Is that really such a sly secret code?  You might as well just hang a dildo on it.

Probably represents what fucking old-lady snatch feels like 

[tx ind 7013]

On 4/19/2022 at 10:13 PM, atomheartbevo said:

@CoTex if you want to read more about these types of communities, start with the largest one, The Villages in Florida, with over 70,000 residents. 

There's a documentary about it - https://www.vox.com/22225786/some-kind-of-heaven-villages-documentary-interview-review

Basically a shit-ton of people trying to return to their college days, as @millhouse mentions:

https://nypost.com/2009/01/25/retire-to-the-bedroom/ (although some of the statements are disputed)

 

Watched the documentary on Hulu, wtf, place is miserable.

[Macanudo 12989]

I have watched (part of) a UT quidditch game.   They were playing out at the IM fields at the same time as one my kids was playing in a lacrosse tournament.  

I still don't get it.

[Hornius Emeritus 12471]

Forgive me if this has been brought up but Disney recently bought a 900+ acre piece of land bordering on Jarrell, Texas in order to build a master planned community sort of like Sun City but without the age restrictions. 

[Homercles 10206]

32 minutes ago, Hornius Emeritus said:

Forgive me if this has been brought up but Disney recently bought a 900+ acre piece of land bordering on Jarrell, Texas in order to build a master planned community sort of like Sun City but without the age restrictions. 

We got stuck in Its A Small World for 15 minutes last year…it was hell.  Living at a mouse-owned community must be like that 24/7…but the DME must feed

[CoTex 1160]

What color loofah means what?  I think I can figure out brown on my own.  

[atomheartbevo 89732]

19 minutes ago, CoTex said:

What color loofah means what?  I think I can figure out brown on my own.  

Well you also know what yellow means.

And maroon is probably bestiality.

[jimmyjazz 45978]

Some of you "my wife is a Harry Potter freak and every once in awhile I catch bits and pieces while she's watching" sure seem to know a shit-ton about Harry Potter.

[Macanudo 12989]

22 hours ago, Hornius Emeritus said:

Forgive me if this has been brought up but Disney recently bought a 900+ acre piece of land bordering on Jarrell, Texas in order to build a master planned community sort of like Sun City but without the age restrictions. 

They should have bought land over by Ding Dong. 

[atomheartbevo 89732]

5 hours ago, jimmyjazz said:

Some of you "my wife is a Harry Potter freak and every once in awhile I catch bits and pieces while she's watching" sure seem to know a shit-ton about Harry Potter.

[closetohumping 17449]

On 4/19/2022 at 3:17 PM, 956 Worldwide said:

I’m getting in on the Juggalo retirement market before they start retiring. 

How about a Jim Ross/Toby Keith trailer park in Oklahoma?  Plenty of meth, rent is paid with Indian scalps or tobacky

[High Plains Drifter 11050]

On 4/22/2022 at 4:28 PM, jimmyjazz said:

Some of you "my wife is a Harry Potter freak and every once in awhile I catch bits and pieces while she's watching" sure seem to know a shit-ton about Harry Potter.

If you are referring to me...

its more of a "my daughter was a harry potter freak and I read probably half of the first two novels to her (wife read the other half), in addition to listening to parts of others on long drives, and then of course the movies were required viewing by her and her friends so yeah I caught bits and pieces while she was watching".

Also, I don't live in a cave, although I had no idea quidditch is an actual sport played by real people.

 

[utee94 15832]

9 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

Also, I don't live in a cave, although I had no idea quidditch is an actual sport played by real people.

 

This is debatable...

[Bateshorn 9928]

On 4/22/2022 at 5:28 PM, jimmyjazz said:

Some of you "my wife is a Harry Potter freak and every once in awhile I catch bits and pieces while she's watching" sure seem to know a shit-ton about Harry Potter.

I don’t catch bits and pieces: I celebrate Alan Rickman and Helena Bonham Carter’s entire catalogue. 
 

I also read the books, which are quite good, if needing an editor towards the end. Goblet of Fire in particular, is legit. 

Edited April 24, 2022 by Bateshorn

[Judge Roybeanbag 11819]

On 4/21/2022 at 10:40 PM, Hornius Emeritus said:

Forgive me if this has been brought up but Disney recently bought a 900+ acre piece of land bordering on Jarrell, Texas in order to build a master planned community sort of like Sun City but without the age restrictions. 

Wizard of Oz theme?