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Surly parents worried about their kids being attacked- megathread

Bateshorn

By Bateshorn
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workswithseed

workswithseed 2112

Posted
Posted
15 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

Based on the thread title, I was going to say that I’m not worried because my son is not a middle-aged black comedian, but after reading the OP, I understand.   My daughter is young, but she’ll be in some kind of martial arts from now all the way through high school.  

She also cc? 

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Brothahorn

Brothahorn 10087

Posted
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7 hours ago, Harrison Bergeron said:

I have a son and a daughter. I worry about both ending up in this terrible, complicated situation. I think the college, drunken date rape is one of the most difficult situations to navigate, and I do not have a lot of confidence in universities' ability to fairly deal with it. Traditionally, the've seemed to approach it on the edges, which rarely has turned out well for the parties involved.

I've been beating that horse since my daughter was first allowed to 'go to the movies' with her friends. Always impressed on her that she is her first line of defense when out in public. Not her home girls, not her guy friends but her. Pay attention to your surroundings and be vigilant about the people you associate with. Obviously nothing is guaranteed, you do everything you can to decrease the chances for fuckery.  We've talked about my first hand accounts as well as current news stories. 

 

I thought I would stop worrying so much once she graduated college. But I still worry and fuss about all the crazy shit that can happen. Thankfully she listens, sometimes, and is an old soul.

 

When the boys get older, we'll have similar conversations along with gender specific worries.

 

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Bateshorn

Bateshorn 9928

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As a manlet, who is the father to two manlet’s, I’ve already had the “fighting isn’t going to be your thing” talk. Part of being a small human is learning how to talk your way out of dicey situations with giant aggressive drunk guys. 
 

If you are a travel sized human, you intuitively get how much large people dominate personal physical space, intentionally or unintentionally.

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Deej

Deej 76834

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, Bateshorn said:

If you are a travel sized human, you intuitively get how much large people dominate personal physical space, intentionally or unintentionally.

As a non-travel sized human, it's all intentional..

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Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Deej said:

"Sons, just stay off Surly. Trust me."

My boys showed up for the brisket talk and bourbon thread.  No they don't post here.

Regarding the discussion:

Worried plenty through the college years with the boys too.  It's just different kinds of worry.

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Homercles

Homercles 10206

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Isn't this one of the comments that gets you reported now?

I mean…based on his earliest comments on this thread that seemed to express excitement about being a male rape victim, which statistically means you’re raped by another male…it was merely a statement of fact.  

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TexasEd

TexasEd 8067

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, Harrison Bergeron said:

Not to distract from the OP, but that is one of the the geniuses of federalism it allows concurrent diversity and cohesion. I've never gotten the "we need to divorce as a nation" argument form either side because we actually have the ability to live "in separate bedrooms" if you will.

Yeah, a lot of people used to think that way and then we had the war between states.

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Hermanator

Hermanator 7115

Posted
Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, StruggleBus said:

I’m sure the drunk old lonely white lady from New York can tell us 

You're talking about the USA right? Drunk old white people run every single university in the country 

Edited by Hermanator
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52-80

52-80 19181

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, Bateshorn said:

As a manlet, who is the father to two manlet’s, I’ve already had the “fighting isn’t going to be your thing” talk. Part of being a small human is learning how to talk your way out of dicey situations with giant aggressive drunk guys. 
 

If you are a travel sized human, you intuitively get how much large people dominate personal physical space, intentionally or unintentionally.

sir Bates of the Modular clan

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staboner

staboner 4984

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, fattyflattie said:

This is terrible, terrible advice.  
 

Be careful when you inevitably stick your dick in Tech is much more sage. 

8 hours ago, PenelopeWitherspoon said:

This is without doubt the smartest thing you have ever posted here.

Have a rep…you’ve earned it.
 

 

izc8ex.gif

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Thatguy

Thatguy 8751

Posted
Posted
13 hours ago, Bateshorn said:

kramer GIF

  You keep going with your smug, dismissive attitude. Ohio State 2019, 229 rape cases and 1670 criminal offenses that year. Texas 2019, 24 cases of rape and 79 criminal offenses same year. Anyone who has set foot on tOSU's campus is not surprised by that stat one bit. Close to downtown. Campus mixed in with regular housing and pretty spread out. Not well lit or patrolled. Any parent of a female would be student should be concerned with that. But of course, we are overreacting right? You sound like every white person I know being dismissive of the whole black people are having negative run-ins with the police thing. You have no idea what women go through and the measures they take for their own safety. Watch a guy at a gas pump stand outside his car and pump gas. Now watch a woman hustle back to her car and close her door. Try talking to a few without mansplaining. You might learn something.

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Harrison Bergeron

Harrison Bergeron 1798

Posted
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31 minutes ago, Thatguy said:

  You keep going with your smug, dismissive attitude. Ohio State 2019, 229 rape cases and 1670 criminal offenses that year. Texas 2019, 24 cases of rape and 79 criminal offenses same year. Anyone who has set foot on tOSU's campus is not surprised by that stat one bit. Close to downtown. Campus mixed in with regular housing and pretty spread out. Not well lit or patrolled. Any parent of a female would be student should be concerned with that. But of course, we are overreacting right? You sound like every white person I know being dismissive of the whole black people are having negative run-ins with the police thing. You have no idea what women go through and the measures they take for their own safety. Watch a guy at a gas pump stand outside his car and pump gas. Now watch a woman hustle back to her car and close her door. Try talking to a few without mansplaining. You might learn something.

https://www.skeptic.com/research-center/reports/Research-Report-CUPES-007.pdf

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immamac

immamac 42868

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You fucking idiots have a thread where you post pictures you take without permission to rate hotness and you want to fucking come in here and talk about how shit is safe out there for women? 

Fuck outta here you crazy fucks. 

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Bateshorn

Bateshorn 9928

Posted
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Posted (edited)
48 minutes ago, Thatguy said:

  You keep going with your smug, dismissive attitude. Ohio State 2019, 229 rape cases and 1670 criminal offenses that year. Texas 2019, 24 cases of rape and 79 criminal offenses same year. Anyone who has set foot on tOSU's campus is not surprised by that stat one bit. Close to downtown. Campus mixed in with regular housing and pretty spread out. Not well lit or patrolled. Any parent of a female would be student should be concerned with that. But of course, we are overreacting right? You sound like every white person I know being dismissive of the whole black people are having negative run-ins with the police thing. You have no idea what women go through and the measures they take for their own safety. Watch a guy at a gas pump stand outside his car and pump gas. Now watch a woman hustle back to her car and close her door. Try talking to a few without mansplaining. You might learn something.

I'm not sure where this obsession with me comes from, but I was responding to another poster's point that this thread was now an all encompassing thread about everything.

So, stop using 2019 statistics, it was the covid year and it's just shitty math. Also, your stats don't line up with OSU's federally mandated reporting.  If you look at the most recent Clery report for OSU, they had 179 total sexual assaults.  But you have to separate out Richard Strauss, which they are required to report, because that's a singular case and obviously not what you and I are talking here. So they actually had 134 cases, of which 100 occurred in the dorms, and 34 occurred on campus, 11 off campus, and 2 on OSU public property.  The vast bulk of Rape occurred in OSU housing or in OSU campus buildings.  If you account for fondling (again, after removing Strauss): Most of it was on campus, although they appear to have an issue with off campus touching. Texas' Clery numbers are much, much lower, as you pointed out.

This is a math way of saying:  OSU has a Rape problem.  A serious Rape problem and I wouldn't send my child there. But the math predicts, and I would argue in the statistics:  that the vast number of assailants are OSU students attacking OSU students. Now, maybe OSU has strangers running rampant through their dorms, but that would mean they haven't adopted campus safety measures that have been pretty standard for decades. There hasn't been a serial rapist on the OSU campus since Billy Milligan, from what I can tell, in recent years. 

Most schools spend a lot of time and money protecting their students from stranger assault: blue light phones, campus safety walk protocals, dorm key card security and check in desks.  What a lot of schools do poorly is protecting their students from other students.

Of course it's dangerous to be a woman.  Of course they fear for their safety.  I at no point argued they didn't and shouldn't.  What I have pointed out, repeatedly, is the most dangerous men they meet, are without question, the one's they know.

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Celery Man

Celery Man 20969

Posted
Posted
18 hours ago, workswithseed said:

How many parents are going "rape is good." especially ones going to college?

 

13 hours ago, PenelopeWitherspoon said:

It is patently obvious that you have little idea what goes on on a college campus.  

 

13 hours ago, Elvis said:

What happens?

to start, they have these things called books

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phdhorn

phdhorn 6224

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, immamac said:

You fucking idiots have a thread where you post pictures you take without permission to rate hotness and you want to fucking come in here and talk about how shit is safe out there for women? 

Fuck outta here you crazy fucks. 

Heh.  In other words, 

unbMAm.gif&f=1&nofb=1

 

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clapclapclap

clapclapclap 9000

Posted
Posted
On 5/9/2022 at 9:24 AM, Bateshorn said:

Dartmouth has a really bad reputation and has had for a long time. I think part of it is 60-70% of the student body is Greek. 

r u Turkish?

 

23 hours ago, CleverNickname said:

Instead we get HB 1280 and Sen McConnell saying an R fed legislature (because of Senate and macro factors, all but guaranteed) may abolsih filibuster and ban all abortion nationwide in 2024 

He said the opposite:

https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2022/may/9/mitch-mcconnell-rules-out-abolishing-filibuster-pa/

Mr. McConnell, Kentucky Republican, said that regardless of how the Supreme Court rules on abortion, the GOP would not sacrifice the 60-vote threshold for political gain.

“I’ve clearly stated I will never support smashing the legislative filibuster on this issue or any other,” he said.

 

 

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irishtexan

irishtexan 11521

Posted
Posted
On 5/8/2022 at 9:55 PM, atomheartbevo said:

My daughter is young, but she’ll be in some kind of martial arts from now all the way through high school.  

Arm bars don't work when you can't move your arms because you've been drugged or are blackout drunk. 

On 5/9/2022 at 9:52 AM, CleverNickname said:

I am worried about the friend-zoned dweeb that takes advantage of too much alcohol, or "nice guy" who gets aggressive when she wants to stop at second base, or the creep boyfriend who stealths a condom. Those crimes are very rarely reported, but 100% something women have to consider. 

This is what I'm worried about. Not the "stranger drags her into an alley" but daughter escapes via jiu jitsu scenario. 

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Bateshorn

Bateshorn 9928

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4 minutes ago, irishtexan said:

Arm bars don't work when you can't move your arms because you've been drugged or are blackout drunk. 

This is what I'm worried about. Not the "stranger drags her into an alley" but daughter escapes via jiu jitsu scenario. 

I don't know how to better lay out the dangers being more school relative than community oriented then comparing Dartmouth (6700-ish students) in leafy Hanover, NH, and University of Chicago (18K ish students, depending on how you want to count post docs), in south Chicago.

All sexual assault in 2018 (the last year of full, regular, pre covid in person school):

Dartmouth: 52, 50 on campus, 45 in residential facilities

UChicago: 26, 25 on campus, 22 in residential facilities

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Celery Man

Celery Man 20969

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41 minutes ago, Bateshorn said:

I don't know how to better lay out the dangers being more school relative than community oriented then comparing Dartmouth (6700-ish students) in leafy Hanover, NH, and University of Chicago (18K ish students, depending on how you want to count post docs), in south Chicago.

All sexual assault in 2018 (the last year of full, regular, pre covid in person school):

Dartmouth: 52, 50 on campus, 45 in residential facilities

UChicago: 26, 25 on campus, 22 in residential facilities

best to just stick with Yale

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Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted
On 5/8/2022 at 10:41 PM, tx 3 putt said:


thats better odds than the average surly lawyer has of having sex with a female 

In their defense, the wildebeests you bang are enough to turn people gay. 

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