Surly parents worried about their kids being attacked- megathread

[Johnny Sack 8397]

4 hours ago, Bateshorn said:

I don't know how to better lay out the dangers being more school relative than community oriented then comparing Dartmouth (6700-ish students) in leafy Hanover, NH, and University of Chicago (18K ish students, depending on how you want to count post docs), in south Chicago.

All sexual assault in 2018 (the last year of full, regular, pre covid in person school):

Dartmouth: 52, 50 on campus, 45 in residential facilities

UChicago: 26, 25 on campus, 22 in residential facilities

I skimmed and could not tell how they define sexual assault.  Title IX's definition of sexual assault is typically a lot broader than the penal code's definition of sexual assault.  

[Bateshorn 9929]

36 minutes ago, Johnny Sack said:

I skimmed and could not tell how they define sexual assault.  Title IX's definition of sexual assault is typically a lot broader than the penal code's definition of sexual assault.  

I combined “groping” and “rape” for the Chicago/Dartmouth case study but the exact definitions are in the front matter.  I believe Rape is defined as penetrative in any form or non consensual oral sex.  The reports are dense and not very user friendly, but it’s in there, usually immediately before before the statistics themselves. 

[austingirl 2191]

On 5/9/2022 at 12:43 PM, Elvis said:

Now I recognize y’all won’t respect my moral high horse, 

 

but just teach your sons not to rape, and teach your daughters to be good. 
 

this is not an administrative issue. 

Y'all realize that women are raped when someone decides to rape them, and it has nothing to do with "being good", right? 

[babysdaddy 2728]

On 5/9/2022 at 9:52 AM, CleverNickname said:

I am not some super pro-choice advocate. I would probably be okay with a ~15 week window, if it included decent enough life of mother caveats.

I don't participate in abortion debates however I think the above is where I think most people come out.  Abortion up to 9 months outside of a saving a mother's life is grotesque and immoral.  No abortion period whatsoever is unreasonable religious based fuckery.  I also don't think anyone is going to seriously choose or eliminate a college based on the access to abortion.

[CleverNickname 1321]

32 minutes ago, babysdaddy said:

I also don't think anyone is going to seriously choose or eliminate a college based on the access to abortion.

You are probably right. Most will pick colleges to be near family, or for particular degree programs, or based on reputation. And my daughter is very privileged. We have a good sum in 529s, so we have financial options. And she is super smart, and will probably ride PSAT scores into financial packages. But nonetheless, we are at least one anecdote of this driving young folks out of Texas.

[Gil Bang 25999]

3 hours ago, austingirl said:

Y'all realize that women are raped when someone decides to rape them, and it has nothing to do with "being good", right? 

oh no...those sluts are all asking for it, with the short skirts and all. 

[burntorangebongos 10752]

One time I was studying at the UGL, I liked it better than the PCL. Anyway, I was super tired after about 3 hours of studying and I had another 2 to go so I put my head down on my books and I accidently fell to sleep... just went out from exhaustion and stress. I don't know why I roused awake as quick as I did but I lifted my head and in my peripheral vision saw someone leave pretty quick. Take their book bag and go. I was still trying to wake up and was going to get some water and take a bathroom break and hit the books again. This girl walks over and says, "Was that your boyfriend wearing a red tshirt?"  I was all confused and looked it. And she said that this guy leaned over me and looked like he was whispering in my ear and groped my breasts. Since he looked like he was talking to me, she thought that I knew him but when he left like he did so abruptly after I stirred awake, she thought she'd let me know. After that bullshit, I never studied at the UGL again and the gal told security what his description was. That was before security cameras everywhere so opportunity groper got away with it. 

I heard another library story while I was a student where a guy was masturbating next to a studying girl and jizzed on her books and hair before she knew what was happening. This was back in the 80s. Sexual harassment and assault has been going on forever at universities. I'm sure I'm not the only one here with stories like these. 

 

[Elvis 3373]

All the engineering libraries smelled like octopussy.  Not In a good way.  No groping observed.  

[babysdaddy 2728]

One time I was studying at the UGL, I liked it better than the PCL. Anyway, I was super tired after about 3 hours of studying and I had another 2 to go so I put my head down on my books and I accidently fell to sleep... just went out from exhaustion and stress. I don't know why I roused awake as quick as I did but I lifted my head and in my peripheral vision saw someone leave pretty quick. Take their book bag and go. I was still trying to wake up and was going to get some water and take a bathroom break and hit the books again. This girl walks over and says, "Was that your boyfriend wearing a red tshirt?"  I was all confused and looked it. And she said that this guy leaned over me and looked like he was whispering in my ear and groped my breasts. Since he looked like he was talking to me, she thought that I knew him but when he left like he did so abruptly after I stirred awake, she thought she'd let me know. After that bullshit, I never studied at the UGL again and the gal told security what his description was. That was before security cameras everywhere so opportunity groper got away with it. 
I heard another library story while I was a student where a guy was masturbating next to a studying girl and jizzed on her books and hair before she knew what was happening. This was back in the 80s. Sexual harassment and assault has been going on forever at universities. I'm sure I'm not the only one here with stories like these. 
 

Awful shit. My wife had some guy jackoff on her shoe in the nyc subway on her way home from work years ago.

[mchookem 16367]

i kicked some guy in the nuts at a frat party bc he was blocking the door and wouldn't let me leave his room. i guess if i was a 'good girl' i never would have gone up there with him in the first place. too bad he had to pay for my mistake 🙄

[Guest]

4 hours ago, babysdaddy said:

  No abortion period whatsoever is unreasonable religious based fuckery.

If one believes life begins at conception, and it's not related to religion whatsoever, I'd beg to differ with ya.

\Social expediency<<<innocent life, if one has that conviction.

[Elvis 3373]

18 minutes ago, mchookem said:

i kicked some guy in the nuts at a frat party bc he was blocking the door and wouldn't let me leave his room. i guess if i was a 'good girl' i never would have gone up there with him in the first place. too bad he had to pay for my mistake 🙄

I’m sorry that happened to you. That’s terrible.  Sincerely. 

[austingirl 2191]

4 hours ago, babysdaddy said:

I also don't think anyone is going to seriously choose or eliminate a college based on the access to abortion.

Were I a high school senior today, I don't know that I would choose or eliminate a college specifically because of access to abortion, but I would certainly correlate that access to the general attitude toward women in that state, and wonder how seriously I'd be taken if I were to be assaulted, especially if that assault resulted in a pregnancy. It would be a hard enough situation without being in a state where, for example, there are legislators who think women who have abortions should be charged with assault or homicide, which could lead to the death penalty. And those are all considerations I would've thought about before we got to where we are now, with Roe about to be overturned. It's bad enough to worry about being attacked; it's a whole other level of awful to think of what the aftermath could be like in a state where I couldn't make medical decisions about my own body. 

[mchookem 16367]

1 hour ago, Elvis said:

I’m sorry that happened to you. That’s terrible.  Sincerely. 

eh...just part of being female tbh. most of us learn to navigate it, some of us younger than others. 

Edited May 11, 2022 by mchookem

[sidis 9832]

10 hours ago, mchookem said:

i kicked some guy in the nuts at a frat party bc he was blocking the door and wouldn't let me leave his room. i guess if i was a 'good girl' i never would have gone up there with him in the first place. too bad he had to pay for my mistake 🙄

No, he had to apparently pay for Elvis doing a shitty job raising him while being his coach I think…

[Harrison Bergeron 1798]

On 5/10/2022 at 9:25 PM, mchookem said:

i kicked some guy in the nuts at a frat party bc he was blocking the door and wouldn't let me leave his room. i guess if i was a 'good girl' i never would have gone up there with him in the first place. too bad he had to pay for my mistake 🙄

I have coached my daughter repeatedly: kick, grab, punch an attacker's sack with impunity. If that fails, claw they's eyes out.

[Thatguy 8828]

On 5/10/2022 at 7:44 AM, Bateshorn said:

I'm not sure where this obsession with me comes from, but I was responding to another poster's point that this thread was now an all encompassing thread about everything.

So, stop using 2019 statistics, it was the covid year and it's just shitty math. Also, your stats don't line up with OSU's federally mandated reporting.  If you look at the most recent Clery report for OSU, they had 179 total sexual assaults.  But you have to separate out Richard Strauss, which they are required to report, because that's a singular case and obviously not what you and I are talking here. So they actually had 134 cases, of which 100 occurred in the dorms, and 34 occurred on campus, 11 off campus, and 2 on OSU public property.  The vast bulk of Rape occurred in OSU housing or in OSU campus buildings.  If you account for fondling (again, after removing Strauss): Most of it was on campus, although they appear to have an issue with off campus touching. Texas' Clery numbers are much, much lower, as you pointed out.

This is a math way of saying:  OSU has a Rape problem.  A serious Rape problem and I wouldn't send my child there. But the math predicts, and I would argue in the statistics:  that the vast number of assailants are OSU students attacking OSU students. Now, maybe OSU has strangers running rampant through their dorms, but that would mean they haven't adopted campus safety measures that have been pretty standard for decades. There hasn't been a serial rapist on the OSU campus since Billy Milligan, from what I can tell, in recent years. 

Most schools spend a lot of time and money protecting their students from stranger assault: blue light phones, campus safety walk protocals, dorm key card security and check in desks.  What a lot of schools do poorly is protecting their students from other students.

Of course it's dangerous to be a woman.  Of course they fear for their safety.  I at no point argued they didn't and shouldn't.  What I have pointed out, repeatedly, is the most dangerous men they meet, are without question, the one's they know.

   First, the data for OSU is high year over year, I used that year because it was the last full report year the website I was on had for them. Second, I keep coming after you because you still don't know what the fuck you are talking about. What you fail to realize is women are constantly protecting themselves against would be predators. Its human nature to let your guard down at some point, and the person you are most likely to do that with is someone you know or are familiar with in a setting you are familiar with. What the report doesn't disclose is the origins of said person and whether or not they made an effort to get to know you for the purpose of raping you. We assume an incident in a dorm would involve a male student instead of an outsider, but that's not always the case as the (prior felon percentages show). If a campus is in the middle of an urban area you get all types of rif-raf charming their way into girls' dorm rooms. Right now a girl at U of H is getting ready to head downtown. If she finds a guy she would like to hang out with where do you think they are going to go? Back to her place. No guy planning to force himself on a woman is going to do so at his own place.

   There are close calls in a woman's life all the time. Every woman I know has had a man expose themselves to her on the street or worse. Above this post you have 3 posts depicting people being ejaculated on, and another one getting fondled. I bet all 3 were not students at a university. Predators know where to find young women. Uber had 6000 reported sexual assaults in 2017 and 2018. SJSU did a study of 891 people on public transit and 18% of them were victims of indecent exposure and 11% groping. Women are being attacked everywhere.

  When I lived on campus I lived in a place with a couple other dudes. One night I came home to some strange girl being passed out on our couch. I thought nothing of it and went on to my room. Later I came downstairs and found my roommate with his dick out and in the hand of the passed out girl. He quickly tucked it back in his pants and I angrily asked him what he was doing. He made up some lame excuse and scurried off to bed. I left my door open and tv on that night to keep him away from her. She was a friend of a girl my other roommate knew who got drunk and passed out there while him and the other girl were busy in the room. The roommate with the dick didn't know her but saw an opportunity. I am sure that would've gone down as "she knew him" but she really didn't. Luckily I happened along just in time to thwart what appeared to be a rape in progress.

  Like I said before, you should talk to women about what they go through and stop with the cherry picking of stats. In 6th grade my daughter had a kid on the bus airdrop a pic of his junk on her phone. Got a call from the principal on that one.  6th grade.

[Bateshorn 9929]

This has been asked and answered multiple times.  As a survivor of sexual assault myself, and someone who personally knows plenty of women who are also survivors, you can keep telling me I don’t know what I’m saying, but you’re wrong. 
 

I don’t know how to help you understand that I know women have to be vigilant from both strangers and people they know, because I suspect you are simply too invested in this issue to open your mind to the possibility that there’s sexual assault beyond a stranger jumping out of the bushes in Central Park. 

Edited May 13, 2022 by Bateshorn

[Bateshorn 9929]

Moreover, I personally find your arguments to be minimizing acquaintance rape. As If stranger sexual assault is somehow “real” rape, while date rape is not, or is a misunderstanding after the fact.

It is not. Rape is Rape.

 

[Harrison Bergeron 1798]

Hoping we can discuss without going CCR, but topical since the Biden Administration is making some changes to Title IX and the way colleges must adjudicate claims of rape and other sexual crimes. I think this directionally is returning to Obama-era changes that were modified by the Trump Administration.

I have a son and a daughter, and I think with probably 99% of the population, want to find the right system that protects accusers and those accused. How do we make sure everyone has a safe environment on campus while protecting due process? Not easy in the real world with trained and seasoned law enforcement and judicial system; I'm not sure our universities are equipped to adjudicate serious legal issues. However, I also recognize the unique environment of college campuses that do not apply to the real world, particularly the proximity of accuser and accused.

[Judge Roybeanbag 11820]

18 minutes ago, Harrison Bergeron said:

Hoping we can discuss without going CCR, but topical since the Biden Administration is making some changes to Title IX and the way colleges must adjudicate claims of rape and other sexual crimes. I think this directionally is returning to Obama-era changes that were modified by the Trump Administration.

I have a son and a daughter, and I think with probably 99% of the population, want to find the right system that protects accusers and those accused. How do we make sure everyone has a safe environment on campus while protecting due process? Not easy in the real world with trained and seasoned law enforcement and judicial system; I'm not sure our universities are equipped to adjudicate serious legal issues. However, I also recognize the unique environment of college campuses that do not apply to the real world, particularly the proximity of accuser and accused.

Hopefully the "right system that protects accusers and those accused" doesn't encounter any rape cases where someone gets pregnant.  That certainly complicates things these days.  As for going CCR...

 

[Armybrat 40874]

It still pisses me off that the POS scumbag who raped, sodomized, and damn near beat my ex-DIL to death and left her brain damaged 15 years ago is probably still walking around free doing the same thing to other unsuspecting women.

I’ll never forget how it traumatized my twin grandkids (12 at the time), especially my granddaughter.

I think those kind of rapists should be executed like they used to be…. Back in the day.

[tbone_ 14147]

I’d execute all violent felons. But maybe that’s just me.