Where in the World is Melania Trump?

[Art Vandelay 1712]

27 minutes ago, woohorn said:

Occams razor: she moved out a month ago.

I'm going with this right here.

[SuingToGetAMessageBoard? 3861]

38 minutes ago, Mo Horn said:

My 2 cents, but I'm guessing whatever is going on is known by several inside reporters and they are just not running the story. That's good. Some things should remain private even if you are the First Lady. But this is more than just a surgical procedure.  The fact that Trump, or whoever, used her account to send that tweet confirmed it for me.  It'll come out someday but might be years. 

Has to be true.  This WH has more leaks than the Iraqi navy/Marky Mark, so the fact that it hasn’t been confirmed or denied by anyone bringing her food, running her errands, helping her Be Best, etc has to mean it is a (not necessarily nefarious) cover up.  

[Chuckie Finster 22978]

We're going to look back at the moment last week when Trump pointed to an empty window and said "Melania is right there, looking at us" as a red flag that nobody really took seriously enough.

[Slade 263]

I'm at almost 20 percent and counting on the secret divorce/separation train. 

[Hank Kingsley 21599]

No result would surprise me, but she probably just looks/feels like shit after the surgery.  Cheeto doesn't want her to make a public appearance if she looks haggard, and I doubt Melania does either. 

 

 

[Hugo Stiglitz 23367]

[4th&Five 41905]

quite a overhaul if she's not presentable after 3 weeks.

[kevwun 16284]

I lean towards drugs/mental breakdown or she moved out after thinking about it some more.  Plastic surgery could have been done during their inevitable month long summer vacation to a Trump property.

Edited May 31, 2018 by kevwun

[zork 629]

2 hours ago, kevwun said:

Tweeting a picture of herself in the White House would end this in 5 seconds.  So she either looks terrible from plastic surgery or whatever procedure she had or she isn't in the White House.  There is most definitely something to this.

I'd settle for a tweet of her from the neck down in a bikini.

[Hugo Stiglitz 23367]

She saw that Russian journalist fake his own death yesterday and thought, “Now is chance, where is number for Deep State?”

[Judge Roybeanbag 11856]

I don't buy the plastic surgery angle.  I haven't seen anything that really needs further work without screwing things up, unless it was a tummy tuck or something.

[Mo Horn 8933]

I go back to the fact that he wasn't at the hospital for the "procedure". He's totally callous and cares only about himself, but how are you not there when she's having surgery. 

[kevwun 16284]

I think you answered your own question.

[Red Five 41601]

Trump hanging out in the waiting room while his wife is under is a funny visual. Because it’s impossible to imagine.

[WhatTheBuck 28904]

10 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

I don't buy the plastic surgery angle.  I haven't seen anything that really needs further work without screwing things up, unless it was a tummy tuck or something.

Yeah, her skin's already pulled tight from past procedures. Is she gonna get another boob job? I doubt it. She's already pretty well plasticized. It would be funny if the next time we saw her she had tits the size of Stormy's. 

[lemonlime 5503]

I doubt it's plastic surgery.  No way she's having that done in a military hospital, as opposed to by her prior NY surgeon.

[Blotto 23975]

If nothing else he's making a run to the nearest KFC or McD's. Possibly rawdogging a whore on the way back. 

[Red Five 41601]

I had forgotten that Trump wrote his own medical report. That was a big story that lasted about 45 minutes.

[relapse98 634]

8 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

 It would be funny if the next time we saw her she had tits the size of Stormy's. 

[DDD Dad 14572]

Who Wore It Better? The Big Floppy Hat

 

Who Wore It Better? The Red Detective Coat

 

Who Wore It Better? The Red Dress

 

Who Wore It Better? The Catsuit

 

Coincidence?  I think not.

[Antidean 200]

Not gonna lie but I would knock the bottom out of that.

[ChiTownDoc 21326]

4 hours ago, Chuckie Finster said:

Something is definitely up.  Could be something dumb like plastic surgery or a legit medical issue or even something more sinister, but the insistence from the White House that there's nothing to see here is the main driver of the story.  

I’m hoping they’re harvesting her brain to transplant it in the Dotard’s cranium.  Would be a major upgrade... 

They can put his Swiss cheese brain back in her.  I call first dibs to smash... 

[UTCzech III 2933]

7 hours ago, InkaUtexas said:

he ate her.

[miguelito 11451]

She's getting a new face so she can escape.

[Anastasis 23700]

If Melania attempted suicide, Trump would find the most uniquely trumpian narcissistic way to tweet about it.  We'd all know within hours.

 

Latest rumor is that she is caring for her mother, who is apparently quite sick, and is holed up at one of the Trump properties. Sounds like cover for a prolonged separation. 

[jimmyjazz 46982]

 

 

 

[triplehorn 2664]

Melania was rumored to be in the process of divorcing Trump pre-election -- then he won.  Good chance it's been a put on all along.  It explains her swatting his hand in public multiple times going back to the first months of his term.  She took a long time to move to the WH, if it ever was a move-in.  Even at the inauguration, she wanted no part of it or him:

 

 

[DaysOff 8157]

Not gonna lie but I would knock the bottom out of that.

And Melania too.

[ChiTownDoc 21326]

17 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

 

 

 

Oh my God!  Her ghost is already haunting the WH!!!!!

[Tuco 5093]

1 hour ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

I don't buy the plastic surgery angle.  I haven't seen anything that really needs further work without screwing things up, unless it was a tummy tuck or something.

I don't find that convincing.  Plenty of patients who looked better going in than coming out.  Insecurity is a bigger driver than an objective evaluation of looks.

 

1 hour ago, lemonlime said:

I doubt it's plastic surgery.  No way she's having that done in a military hospital, as opposed to by her prior NY surgeon.

That is a pretty good argument. Sure, she could have brought in a doctor to do surgery, but there would easier cover stories to just go visit the parents, or something, for a couple of weeks.  It's really been a ham fisted execution of a cover story.  You'd think with time to plan, they could have figure out something better.

 

[DDD Dad 14572]

3 minutes ago, ChiTownDoc said:

Oh my God!  Her ghost is already haunting the WH!!!!!

[triplehorn 2664]

The only touch Donald gets is from a fleshlight and the lube in Trey Gowdy's hair.

[Wally Fairway 5664]

I'm thinking she is at the bottom of a well, putting the lotion in the basket

[Kringelbert Fishtybuns 945]

She is on a train to Quebec, but is having regrets as Barron just got off.  No matter, he is almost a man grown.  The long game honeypot is over.  Mission accomplished.

*Yes, I know Slovenia was not an Eastern Bloc country.

 

[Equinox 95]

46 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

 

 

 

She has AIDS!

[Upgrayedd 5861]

There was no Melania.  The First Lady has alway been Veronika.

[Mole 4338]

I'm going with a glitch in the simulation. I first noticed it when she Rick Rolled the convention, then her husband was elected, now she's vanished.

[Anastasis 23700]

2 minutes ago, Mole said:

I'm going with a glitch in the simulation. I first noticed it when she Rick Rolled the convention, then her husband was elected, now she's vanished.

Ah, yes. Great moments in American history we will all reflect fondly upon in 20 years. 

[DanRydell 799]

it is concerning. it wouldn't necessarily be, if this president was more reserved. it used to be we could go days without seeing the first lady. but it's been nearly three weeks, after what was supposed to be basically an outpatient procedure. something is weird.

I wasn’t concerned about it until the response to the concern was a tweet that sounds like Trump wrote it rather than an appearance of some sort.

[4th&Five 41905]

 

[Scholz 12301]

2 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Yeah, her skin's already pulled tight from past procedures. Is she gonna get another boob job? I doubt it. She's already pretty well plasticized. It would be funny if the next time we saw her she had tits the size of Stormy's. 

This.  She's already Sexy Michael Jackson.

 

 

[hayden_horn 11401]

17 minutes ago, 4th&Five said:

 

so wrong, but goddamn it, i laughed

[Ghost of LL 15669]

29 minutes ago, DanRydell said:

 

I wasn’t concerned about it until the response to the concern was a tweet that sounds like Trump wrote it rather than an appearance of some sort.

 

That's where I am, too.  Before yesterday, I thought it was a silly little bullshit joke.  Now, I think something serious may be afoot.

[yoladu 4187]

5 hours ago, Hugo Stiglitz said:

Can you overdose on Ambien? 

no, but it does make you tweet racist stuff.

[High Plains Drifter 11162]

40 minutes ago, 4th&Five said:

 

https://politics.theonion.com/inconsolable-jeff-sessions-tries-to-commit-suicide-by-s-1826462420

 

 

[Gil Bang 26177]

46 minutes ago, Ghost of LL said:

That's where I am, too.  Before yesterday, I thought it was a silly little bullshit joke.  Now, I think something serious may be afoot.

I'm in this camp as well. 

And I agree with whoever said that there's no way a plastic procedure went down in a military hospital.  The caliber of doc that Melania would use wouldn't even have privileges there, and just about 100% of plastic procedures are done on an outpatient basis now days anyway.  A Melania-level doc will have his own OR, and a soft, resort-like spot for aftercare and recovery.  

[brown water 3787]

4 hours ago, Tuco said:

I don't find that convincing.  Plenty of patients who looked better going in than coming out.  Insecurity is a bigger driver than an objective evaluation of looks.

 

That is a pretty good argument. Sure, she could have brought in a doctor to do surgery, but there would easier cover stories to just go visit the parents, or something, for a couple of weeks.  It's really been a ham fisted execution of a cover story.  You'd think with time to plan, they could have figure out something better.

 

You know who we're talking about right? 

[High Plains Drifter 11162]

4 hours ago, Tuco said:

 You'd think with time to plan, they could have figure out something better.

 

 

You seem to be forgetting that every single person in this administration is a fucking moron.

[High Plains Drifter 11162]

Anyway, what's the line on plastic surgery? Because until I see some direct evidence to the contrary, that is where I'm at.

Perhaps a butt implant a la Kim Kardashian?

 

 

[Gil Bang 26177]

nah.  She's already hot, she'd just get a tune-up.  A little work on the eyes maybe, maybe some injections, maybe get the ol' coochie snugged up and her butthole bleached.  That sort of thing.