Jump to content

Ana de Armas stars in "Blonde," a NC-17 depiction of Marilyn Monroe's life on Netflix

C-Man

By C-Man
in Movies and TV

 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, futureman said:

"colored eye..."

Screen-Shot-2020-10-16-at-2.03.21-PM-144

“Did you hear the one about the Jew, the Catholic, and the colored-eye Latina who went to heaven?”

”that’s a doozy Judge.”

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • 1 month later...
Texzilla58

Texzilla58 4742

Posted
Posted

I asked the owner of the first company I worked for out of college what were keys to starting a business. “First, you gotta have a good colored eye…”.

I wonder how this Marilyn movie turns out in the end. Of course it was Bobby Kennedy that had her murdered, but who administered the phenobarbital suppository? Peter Lawford? The shrink? The housekeeper? Certainly they won’t show the usual chugging champagne and nembutals?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
UT_OB1

UT_OB1 2224

Posted
Posted

Love, Both Blue is the Warmest Color and 365 Days are/were in Netflix and none got NC17 ratings. So what exactly does it take to get over that hump to get that rating? Blue had pretty long scenes with lots of boobs and faces all the way up asses, and Love I think showed an “artistic” money shot at the end of one sex scene if I remember right. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52557

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, UT_OB1 said:

Love, Both Blue is the Warmest Color and 365 Days are/were in Netflix and none got NC17 ratings. So what exactly does it take to get over that hump to get that rating? Blue had pretty long scenes with lots of boobs and faces all the way up asses, and Love I think showed an “artistic” money shot at the end of one sex scene if I remember right. 

Those were foreign films and weren’t rated by the mpaa.  Nymphomaniac was also on Netflix. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • 3 weeks later...
Reynolds Woodcock

Reynolds Woodcock 4797

Posted
Posted

This movie is garbage. Like a film student desperately trying to pass his final exam by throwing every trick in the book on screen, yet unable to render anything more than a superficial, one dimensional story. As shallow as you can imagine.  It’s not interesting, it’s not entertaining, and despite being singularly focused on her sex life and male desire (for lack of a better word), it’s not hot in the least. 

I can’t believe this same guy directed The Assassination of Jesse James.  Just google the tit pics and save yourself the 3 hours of torture.

  • Hook 'Em 2
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
immamac

immamac 42904

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, Reynolds Woodcock said:

This movie is garbage. Like a film student desperately trying to pass his final exam by throwing every trick in the book on screen, yet unable to render anything more than a superficial, one dimensional story. As shallow as you can imagine.  It’s not interesting, it’s not entertaining, and despite being singularly focused on her sex life and male desire (for lack of a better word), it’s not hot in the least. 

I can’t believe this same guy directed The Assassination of Jesse James.  Just google the tit pics and save yourself the 3 hours of torture.

It is everything you said. I thought it was just starting slow. My wife didn’t even get the color and B&W changes. The whole thing felt forced and lame. They made her so much less hot than she is somehow. It’s fucking criminal. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54356

Posted
Posted
27 minutes ago, Reynolds Woodcock said:

This movie is garbage. Like a film student desperately trying to pass his final exam by throwing every trick in the book on screen, yet unable to render anything more than a superficial, one dimensional story. As shallow as you can imagine.  It’s not interesting, it’s not entertaining, and despite being singularly focused on her sex life and male desire (for lack of a better word), it’s not hot in the least. 

I can’t believe this same guy directed The Assassination of Jesse James.  Just google the tit pics and save yourself the 3 hours of torture.

Yeah, but tell us about the tits, man.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Wally Pryor

Wally Pryor 5262

Posted
Posted

 

8 hours ago, Reynolds Woodcock said:

This movie is garbage. Like a film student desperately trying to pass his final exam by throwing every trick in the book on screen, yet unable to render anything more than a superficial, one dimensional story. As shallow as you can imagine.  It’s not interesting, it’s not entertaining, and despite being singularly focused on her sex life and male desire (for lack of a better word), it’s not hot in the least. 

Pretty much sums it up. The people at the Venice Film Festival who reportedly gave it a 14-minute standing ovation must really be starved for good entertainment. 

And I understand the (limited) liberties that are can be taken with these type films but there was a good deal of time spent on the threesome thing. Unfortunately, it was a good deal of time spent on something that never happened.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Augustus

Augustus 3061

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, Wally Pryor said:

 

Pretty much sums it up. The people at the Venice Film Festival who reportedly gave it a 14-minute standing ovation must really be starved for good entertainment. 

And I understand the (limited) liberties that are can be taken with these type films but there was a good deal of time spent on the threesome thing. Unfortunately, it was a good deal of time spent on something that never happened.  

 

Wait... threesome thing?  Do you have a timestamp?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Mitch Cumsteen

Mitch Cumsteen 18550

Posted
Posted
27 minutes ago, hornmpa96 said:

I’ve heard tits, threesome, Marilyn Monroe and Ana De Armas and you’re telling me, I shouldn’t watch this movie?

What are things I didn’t expect to read on Surly today?

Right? I can't imagine how somebody could fuck that combination up. I'm now more tempted to watch it, just to see how it could be done. Who directed this thing, Pete Kwiatkowski?

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Vito Andolini

Vito Andolini 9127

Posted
Posted (edited)

I haven’t seen it, but it appears the NYT agrees with Woodcock and Imma 

Given all the indignities and horrors that Marilyn Monroe endured during her 36 years — her family tragedies, paternal absence, maternal abuse, time in an orphanage, time in foster homes, spells of poverty, unworthy film roles, insults about her intelligence, struggles with mental illness, problems with substance abuse, sexual assault, the slavering attention of insatiable fans — it is a relief that she didn’t have to suffer through the vulgarities of “Blonde,” the latest necrophiliac entertainment to exploit her.

 

Edited by Vito Andolini
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
BillyGoatHill

BillyGoatHill 4312

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, Augustus said:

 

Wait... threesome thing?  Do you have a timestamp?

Not worth it....If looking for a trifecta, they really liked to give you a multiple dose of abortion scenes. 

9 hours ago, hornmpa96 said:

I’ve heard tits, threesome, Marilyn Monroe and Ana De Armas and you’re telling me, I shouldn’t watch this movie?

 

Do yourself a favor and take the advice of not watching. See below.

9 hours ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Right? I can't imagine how somebody could fuck that combination up. I'm now more tempted to watch it, just to see how it could be done. Who directed this thing, Pete Kwiatkowski?

You've been warned by others... Long and depressing. Better off taking a hammer and smashing your thumbs, repeatedly. Or just watch Pete's defensive scheme of bend and break.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Pam Cummings

Pam Cummings 9654

Posted
Posted (edited)

I knew it was gonna be shitty from the trailer. There was nothing interesting about it to me. I'm always confounded by people that get so excited about seeing someone naked during a movie. That's what the fuck porn is for. I wanna be entertained, not turned on. If i wanted to be turned on, i would watch porn. Not to say nudity in a movie or show can't be good or tasteful, but it's far from being *the reason* that you should watch or be interested in something.

Edited by Pam Cummings
  • Hook 'Em 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
closetohumping

closetohumping 17456

Posted
Posted
On 9/30/2022 at 8:13 AM, Pam Cummings said:

I knew it was gonna be shitty from the trailer. There was nothing interesting about it to me. I'm always confounded by people that get so excited about seeing someone naked during a movie. That's what the fuck porn is for. I wanna be entertained, not turned on. If i wanted to be turned on, i would watch porn. Not to say nudity in a movie or show can't be good or tasteful, but it's far from being *the reason* that you should watch or be interested in something.

Oh come on.  It's the mystery that makes it appealing.  Are there thousands of porn stars with better bodies than Jennifer Anniston?  Yes, but it doesn't mean I'm not intrigued to see her nekkid.

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • 11 months later...
UT_OB1

UT_OB1 2224

Posted
Posted
On 9/29/2022 at 11:25 PM, BillyGoatHill said:

Not worth it....If looking for a trifecta, they really liked to give you a multiple dose of abortion scenes. 

Do yourself a favor and take the advice of not watching. See below.

You've been warned by others... Long and depressing. Better off taking a hammer and smashing your thumbs, repeatedly. Or just watch Pete's defensive scheme of bend and break.

 

On 9/29/2022 at 2:16 PM, immamac said:

It's worse than Texas defense by a wide margin. 

 

On 9/29/2022 at 2:16 PM, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Right? I can't imagine how somebody could fuck that combination up. I'm now more tempted to watch it, just to see how it could be done. Who directed this thing, Pete Kwiatkowski?

I think some of you owe PK an apology!

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Rimbo

Rimbo 26038

Posted
Posted
On 9/9/2022 at 7:45 AM, UT_OB1 said:

Blue had pretty long scenes with lots of boobs and faces all the way up asses,

Blue had straight up porn scenes. Sex scenes that served no real purpose to the story other than, "Look at these hot chicks fucking for the next ten minutes."

Which is fine because the story was ass.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Rimbo

Rimbo 26038

Posted
Posted
On 9/29/2022 at 12:16 PM, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Right? I can't imagine how somebody could fuck that combination up. I'm now more tempted to watch it, just to see how it could be done. Who directed this thing, Pete Kwiatkowski?

 

On 9/29/2022 at 12:16 PM, immamac said:

It's worse than Texas defense by a wide margin. 

these quotes aged ... poorly

Link to comment
Share on other sites
UT_OB1

UT_OB1 2224

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Rimbo said:

Blue had straight up porn scenes. Sex scenes that served no real purpose to the story other than, "Look at these hot chicks fucking for the next ten minutes."

Which is fine because the story was ass.

Pretty sure Love was straight up porn too. 
 

and there was a story?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
C-Man

C-Man 27248

Posted
  • Author
Posted
11 minutes ago, UT_OB1 said:

Pretty sure Love was straight up porn too. 
 

and there was a story?

Naturally, I got curious and went looking for the scene y'all were discussing above. Overhead ceiling camera of hange-induced money shot. So, basically porn. Hey, I'm all for it. There's also the not-simulated BJ scene with Chloe Sevigny from Brown Bunny. No money shot (visible anyway) there, though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...