Pissing in funny places

[Prepuce of Doom 21073]

Where are the funniest, dumbest, and/or coolest places you've taken a leak where you're not supposed to? 

As I mentioned elsewhere when @Armybrat suggested that the pisser below was the Doomlet (it's not...), when I was a child, I used to piss into the sump pump when I was playing in the basement and didn't feel like going upstairs. 

I've since pissed in an alcove at Machu Picchu and on the side of Argentina's congress building while stumbling back to my hotel at sunrise and when the very earliest workers were already out and about. 

 

[Post Oak 20213]

.

 

Edited July 1, 2022 by Post Oak

[WhatTheBuck 28781]

I can’t think of any, other than using a tree on a camping trip. At least I never got busted doing it. In 1988 some friends and I drove down to Atlanta to see the Dead and a buddy got ticketed by the cops when they caught him peeing by a dumpster outside a gas station/convenience store. I assume they had a restroom inside. Way to go, Al.

[Hate 20108]

I pissed on the streets of Paris near the Sorbonne,  We had just closed another bar down and I couldn't wait until we stumbled back to the hotel.  It was about 3 AM and we had to catch our flight home the next morning around 10 AM.  That was the worst hangover I've ever had. 

[ztejas 43449]

My best friend and I were really fucked up late at night post the Texas Sugar Bowl win in NOLA in 2018 (2019 on the calendar). We had begun meandering back towards our hotel when I had to take a leak. There were 4 or 5 or however many nice column-like pillars down the right side of the street and I decided to unzip and let it fly down the side of one.

Fairly shortly thereafter two uniformed New Orleans police officers stepped out of the downtown police station that I was pissing on asking me and my buddy what the fuck we thought we were doing. 

Given that it was New Orleans, however, they had a roll of paper towels and simply asked me to clean it up the best I could and be on my way. 

I think I gave my buddy - who is black - a heart attack but yeah that's my best pissing story. 

[Born to Run 6569]

I'm a dude, the world is my toilet.

That said:

Off the South Rim in BBNP with my childhood friend in 1992.

Most Major Cities because no toilets.

Multiple Spots in the High Sierra over Yosemite teaching my kid how to piss like a champion without pissing on climbers, exposing himself to others, or being an inconsiderate pisser. 'No we don't piss on Marmots either". Critical bonding moment

[TexArcher 37774]

Went to a UFC in Vegas (54 w Chuck Liddell) and stayed to play blackjack while my drunk friend went on back to our hotel (not the MGM where the UFC took place).  I proceeded to get obliterated drunk and was escorted from the MGM for grabbing the dealer's wrist when he started to take my chips on a push (I was right on the math, at least, and was allowed to cash out with two beefcake dudes breathing down my neck then walking me to the door).  

I was then lost in Las Vegas.  Our hotel was some tiny little resort type deal off the strip because my friend was a travel agent who got us a ridiculous deal on a suite.  I didn't even remember the name of it to ask directions.  I wandered around the side streets off the Strip for at least an hour, maybe two.  I asked a homeless dude where a good place to pee was.  He walked off.  There was a parking garage right there, so I went in there and pissed in a corner for like fifteen minutes straight and it occured to me that I was in such bad shape that homeless people wouldn't talk to me.  I wandered out of the parking garage and found myself staring right at the entrance of our little hotel on the other side of the road.  The end.

[justhookit 4191]

1 hour ago, WhatTheBuck said:

I can’t think of any, other than using a tree on a camping trip. At least I never got busted doing it. In 1988 some friends and I drove down to Atlanta to see the Dead and a buddy got ticketed by the cops when they caught him peeing by a dumpster outside a gas station/convenience store. I assume they had a restroom inside. Way to go, Al.

You’ve led a very interesting life and your posts do nothing to dispel that.

[ztejas 43449]

6 minutes ago, justhookit said:

You’ve led a very interesting life and your posts do nothing to dispel that.

Dude he's seen so many more phish concerts than you have. You wish your life was that cool. 

[justhookit 4191]

1 minute ago, ztejas said:

Dude he's seen so many more phish concerts than you have. You wish your life was that cool. 

Yup. Not ever gonna top pissing on a tree on a camping trip. Not even gonna try. I dug a gold ole latrine by golly. But man his friends were fucking crazy.

[WhatTheBuck 28781]

20 minutes ago, justhookit said:

You’ve led a very interesting life and your posts do nothing to dispel that.

I don’t know how interesting it’s been. I mean, I haven’t peed in any exotic places myself. But I’ve got tons of great stories, especially from my concert going career. You should go to the Phish thread and read my story about seeing them on 6/21/94. That’s a good story. And a good lesson in ticket stub management. In fact, here you go:

I’ve never denied being a weirdo, a nerd, or a freak, though. So I’ve got that going for me.  

Edited July 1, 2022 by WhatTheBuck

[Pato del Muerto 52498]

In her butt

[futureman 22463]

myself. 

[justhookit 4191]

5 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

I don’t know how interesting it’s been. I mean, I haven’t peed in any exotic places myself. But I’ve got tons of great stories, especially from my concert going career. You should go to the Phish thread and read my story about seeing them on 6/21/94. That’s a good story. And a good lesson in ticket stub management. In fact, here you go:

I’ve never denied being a weirdo, a nerd, or a freak, though. So I’ve got that going for me.  

Want to know how I know not to read that?

[WhatTheBuck 28781]

7 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

In her butt

I’m surprised it took so long for someone to say it.

[WhatTheBuck 28781]

4 minutes ago, justhookit said:

Want to know how I know not to read that?

Don’t know, don’t care. It’s your loss. It’s a good story. 

[RPM 26321]

Took a piss off the fantail of my ship when we were in the Arctic Circle. It was a quick one.

[Vito Andolini 9126]

On the stage of The Chuckle Hut on Route 9.

[Dnaguy 11964]

[miguelito 11266]

 

 

Also, the middle of Fredericksburg Road in San Antonio in the middle of the afternoon.

[Elvis 3371]

My pledge class in spring of 97 had to go on this wild road trip scavenger hunt.  One of the missions was to break into the Aggie stadium and piss on the goal post.  Mission accomplished.

[jeevsie 3734]

At a comedy club.  The no name comic was hilarious that night.

Wait, I don't think I did this right.

[MissingInAction 25077]

I'm pissing off the edge of a 300 ft drop somewhere outside of Denver.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

Out the back door of a chartered bus while driving down I-35 between Austin and Wurstfest in 1977.

[Vegas64 675]

40 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

I'm pissing off the edge of a 300 ft drop somewhere outside of Denver.

The last time I pissed in public was in Denver and it scared me straight.

Was walking back from a bar and had to pee, veer from the sidewalk into a first level parking garage, had a cop stop me and claim he could legally arrest me and have me register as a sex offender for doing this. He gave me a warning and I've never openly peed in public outside of a sanctioned restroom again because I don't know if he was being honest or not, but nothing is worth being labeled a sex offender.

Edited July 1, 2022 by Vegas64

[RPM 26321]

2 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

I'm pissing off the edge of a 300 ft drop somewhere outside of Denver.

How cold was the water?

[MissingInAction 25077]

8 minutes ago, RPM said:

How cold was the water?

Not too bad, but pretty deep.

[LW Goatman 1124]

I can't remember the beer joint on 6th street late 90s that opened up, but they would serve these beers like 40 oz for $4 on some nights. The bathroom was tiny and had maybe a toilet and a urinal. You'd walk in there and one person would be pissing in the toilet, one in the urinal, one in the sink, one in the trash can, and someone hitting the drain. Not one place itself is funny, but the totality of creative pissing at once was nuts.

Edited July 1, 2022 by LW Goatman
1234

[40acredropout 2902]

Pissed in an empty Gatorade bottle waiting in student line to get into Frank Erwin for a KU game.  Thought my buddies provided enough cover and I was being discreet until I locked eyes with a girl from one of the prude spirit groups (spirits?) who was a few feet ahead in line.  She was impressed by nothing she saw.

Edited July 1, 2022 by 40acredropout

[Beau Vine 54230]

[MissingInAction 25077]

26 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

Reminds me of the Backroom. They would throw a bunch of ice in to cut the stench but that only lasted an hour or so.

There my first experience at DKR 40 years ago with the rows of troughs facing each other. 

So many dicks, and at that age they were all at eye level.

Edited July 1, 2022 by MissingInAction

[kibbles 70]

Would swim at aquatic park in SF bay when I was young and athletic.   It is tradition, once you get in the water, to piss yourself.   It is remarkably pleasant as it combats the 50deg water, but, still, you are swimming in a wetsuit full of your own piss.

[Spaulding Smails 1552]

When I was 15 and a sophomore in HS, I went to a party with a few friends from my baseball team.  There were four of us.  Me, two juniors and a senior.  The senior drove.  All three of them got hammered, and I didn't drink at all.  Not a drop.  We left around midnight, and I realized that all three of the licensed drivers were too drunk to get behind the wheel.  So, being a responsible young man with a learner's permit, I deduced that, as long as the 18 year old was in the passenger seat, and I was driving, I wasn't breaking any laws.  Which was kind of true, I suppose.  

About half way through the 30 min drive back to my buddy's house, the senior buddy of mine had to piss.  He said he couldn't make it to the convenience store let alone all the way home.  So, I turned into a brand new neighborhood that was under construction.  He piled out, walked about 20 yards and took a piss.  Ten seconds later, red and blue lights are flashing in my rearview mirror.  Fuck.  Cop shines his spotlight on the car then on my buddy. 

Cop:  "Son, what are you doing?"

Buddy:  "I'm taking a piss, Officer."

Cop:  "Why aren't you using the restroom?"

Buddy:  "Sorry, Officer.  I couldn't make it to the store."

Cop:  "But why aren't you using the restroom?"

Buddy:  "Excuse me.  I guess I don't understand..."

Cop <shifts his spotlight to the portable toilet 10 feet to the right>:  "Son, you're pissing right next to a port-a-potty.  Why didn't you piss in there instead of pissing on the ground?"

He asked us all a few questions and asked for my ID.  I gave him my learner's permit and told him the story.  He never doubted it for a minute.  He actually thanked me but said next time someone should call a parent to pick us up.  I told him where we were headed, and he let us go on about our way home.  

[Fudge Nuggets 19190]

Into a newspaper box in Chicago about halfway through a weeklong bender.

Into the pool of a seedy hotel in Jakarta Indonesia.  That in itself may not seem all that crazy until you realize I was standing on the edge of the roof 10 stories up.

[UTPhil2006 3807]

1 hour ago, LW Goatman said:

I can't remember the beer joint on 6th street late 90s that opened up, but they would serve these beers like 40 oz for $4 on some nights. The bathroom was tiny and had maybe a toilet and a urinal. You'd walk in there and one person would be pissing in the toilet, one in the urinal, one in the sink, one in the trash can, and someone hitting the drain. Not one place itself is funny, but the totality of creative pissing at once was nuts.

Logans?

[LW Goatman 1124]

41 minutes ago, UTPhil2006 said:

Logans?

Yep, that was it. 

[hookemATL 11735]

I made the drive back and forth between ATX and ATL too many times to count. Eventually, I settled on a piss jug to keep from having to stop at a bathroom anywhere in MS/AL/LA. I was once able to fill up the milk jug 3/4 of the way with my own urine. Very impressive and adult stuff, I know. 

[TheStoicPaisano 9922]

Cleveland Municipal Stadium troughs. With the steam rising. 🤮

[Prepuce of Doom 21073]

1 hour ago, hookemATL said:

I made the drive back and forth between ATX and ATL too many times to count. Eventually, I settled on a piss jug to keep from having to stop at a bathroom anywhere in MS/AL/LA. I was once able to fill up the milk jug 3/4 of the way with my own urine. Very impressive and adult stuff, I know. 

I knew these two dirty hippy roommates in college who smoked a ton of pot in their dorm room and who therefore wanted to minimize the number of times their door opened and closed. So they (and their guests) would piss in various bottles and containers. Their room looked like some kind of piss laboratory sometimes with a couple dozen bottles of variously yellow-hued liquid stashed all over the place. 

When they ran out of piss storage space, they would go on missions to hide the full bottles all over campus. Always amusing to discover their handiwork in strange places... 

Edited July 1, 2022 by Prepuce of Doom

[Sandman 3403]

2 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

So many dicks, and at that age they were all at eye level.

Marine Corps boot camp, 70-80 guys and about 8 urinals. Anytime the entire platoon had to go somewhere and we were behind schedule, you would hear the ominous announcement:

"Hit the head before we go! Double up and triple up on those pissers!". One minute you're taking a regular ol' piss, the next minute, 2-3 dicks are coming at you from all sides like a horrible gangbang.

[deadshank 24653]

My elk and mule deer hunting partner was always put off by me taking a piss while we were out on some mountain trying to stay still and wait for the elk to get close enough to whack.  The herd would be within easy sight distance, especially for the always wary lead cow hell bitch.

Standing up pee was not an option; so over the years, I developed the technique of laying back against the mountain, rolling over on my side, unzipping my coat and fly, pulling out my Johnson and pissing downhill.

I'd never tell him I was doing it as he was focusing on the herd and looking for a good bull to take down.  He'd spot one and turn to me to discuss and there I would be pissing away and  making yellow snow.

[huge 3793]

The supply closet floor at the Back 40 many times

[Underdog 28635]

1 hour ago, Sandman said:

Marine Corps boot camp, 70-80 guys and about 8 urinals. Anytime the entire platoon had to go somewhere and we were behind schedule, you would hear the ominous announcement:

"Hit the head before we go! Double up and triple up on those pissers!". One minute you're taking a regular ol' piss, the next minute, 2-3 dicks are coming at you from all sides like a horrible gangbang.

IIRC, Ernie’s Chicken Shack in East Austin had just one maybe 2 toilets so you had to hope your fellow pissers had good aim.  It was quite the humbling experience for this white bread cracker.  

[Fudge Nuggets 19190]

2 hours ago, TheStoicPaisano said:

Cleveland Municipal Stadium troughs. With the steam rising. 🤮

The slow downfall of America as an incredible nation correlates with the phasing out of piss troughs throughout this once great land.

[nnm 36405]

1991 Cotton Bowl. Plastered on schnapps in a boda bag, watching the carnage on the field, absolutely frozen. The only way to warm up was to go to the mens room, where the warm air from 10,000 streams of urine splashing in the troughs created a moist, sticky heat. 

[dcbc 14484]

I got a UIPP in the alley behind Steamboat from APD Chips on a bike.  I handed my license back over my shoulder and he told me I could finish.  So I continued to piss on the wall before getting my $25 ticket.  The line inside the club was too long and there were at least ten other dudes that got tickets from that douche.

 

I hope you had a helluva piss, Arnold!

[WhatTheBuck 28781]

On 6/30/2022 at 11:11 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

I can’t think of any, other than using a tree on a camping trip. At least I never got busted doing it. In 1988 some friends and I drove down to Atlanta to see the Dead and a buddy got ticketed by the cops when they caught him peeing by a dumpster outside a gas station/convenience store. I assume they had a restroom inside. Way to go, Al.

And I got mocked for this post. Imagine that.

[Spaulding Smails 1552]

Friend of mine took his wife and kids to Port Royale in Port Aransas years ago.  His son was maybe 4 at the time.  He was sitting by the pool nursing a beer when his son came up to him and said he had to pee.  He didn't want to get up, so he told him to just pee in the pool.  His kid ran off towards the pool.  A few minutes later, he glanced over, and sees his kid standing on the coping of the pool, pants around his ankles, pissing into the pool.  Gotta be more detailed with directions.

[luke duke 6413]

I can't remember the beer joint on 6th street late 90s that opened up, but they would serve these beers like 40 oz for $4 on some nights. The bathroom was tiny and had maybe a toilet and a urinal. You'd walk in there and one person would be pissing in the toilet, one in the urinal, one in the sink, one in the trash can, and someone hitting the drain. Not one place itself is funny, but the totality of creative pissing at once was nuts.

Logan’s. I was there on a rally busy night. Maybe NYE. The line for the bathroom wasn’t moving at all. I took the last sip of my beer, whipped it out and filled the mug back up while standing at the bar. I set it on the bar and walked away.

[Bullneck 19090]

Feb of 2020 I was driving back from Marfa to Austin on US 90 between Marathon and Sanderson.  There are so few cars and you can see so far in either direction I just stopped in the lane, stepped out, peed on the yellow center stripe, got back in and drove off.  No one else around.  

I was in Carmine one very dark night and pulled over.  Walked around the car to be somewhat concealed if another car drove by.  I was vaguely aware I was near a property fence when out of the darkness suddenly came the loudest "MOOOOOOOOOO" I'd ever heard.  It was quite surprising.