Pissing in funny places

[Surly Bevo 25705]

2001 Big12 championship. Went with my wife of 2.5 years and her parents. Spent the better part of the morning and afternoon at my house at the time in Old Lake Highlands downing beer self assured that I was about to witness the same assbeating I had seen in Austin 6 weeks prior. Drank a lot so FIL drove.

Then we hit the worst fucking pregame traffic I have ever been in on 114/183 right as we approached Texas Stadium. We had left early and still it was awful. We sat and sat and sat. Finally the bladder could take it no more and despite my in laws in the front seats I told my wife, “I’m going”. Hopped out walked across a lane of almost dead stopped traffic over a barrier and sweet relief right there off the jammed freeway outside Texas Stadium.

Walked back and of all things my MIL was hysterically giggling.

Little did I know the fact I made my MIL laugh by pissing in the middle of a traffic laden urban highway was to be the highlight of that night.

Fucking Chris Simms (who I would have killed every last one of you to have had at QB sometime in the last decade)

[Droopy 2639]

On 7/1/2022 at 3:35 PM, hookemATL said:

I made the drive back and forth between ATX and ATL too many times to count. Eventually, I settled on a piss jug to keep from having to stop at a bathroom anywhere in MS/AL/LA. I was once able to fill up the milk jug 3/4 of the way with my own urine. Very impressive and adult stuff, I know. 

Username checks out. 

[BHMCruiser 1828]

I peed into a guy's beer cup when he wasn't looking one time and he drank it.

 

That was pretty funny. 

[Greg Davis Apologist 214]

On 7/1/2022 at 4:30 PM, Sandman said:

Marine Corps boot camp, 70-80 guys and about 8 urinals. Anytime the entire platoon had to go somewhere and we were behind schedule, you would hear the ominous announcement:

"Hit the head before we go! Double up and triple up on those pissers!". One minute you're taking a regular ol' piss, the next minute, 2-3 dicks are coming at you from all sides like a horrible gangbang.

Yep. I chuckle today thinking about our drill instructors counting down backwards from 60 seconds skipping several numbers at a time while we're trying to piss.

Doubling and tripling up on one shower head was pretty awkward too. It's amazing how quickly we all just got used to it. 

[RollLeft 5090]

Was on a road trip, to visit friends, that included stops at Northwestern, Ohio State and ultimately Boston.  Last minute we decided to stop off in South Bend. It was a cold winter night, around midnight, and I relieved myself ON #1 Moses. I then looked for a bathroom in the touchdown haysoos building.  There i took a massive dump, wiped extra and didn't flush.  FU Powlus!

[Armybrat 41373]

Friend of mine pissed in the frat president’s acoustic guitar during a Friday night kegger.

He was blackballed outta there by Monday morning.

[B00M 6729]

Early in my college career, after a late night of partying, I had the weirdest dream where the toilet I was pissing into kept turning into a desk chair, piss was splashing onto my legs and covering the floor of the bathroom.

The girlfriend slept in a bit longer than I did the next morning. When she came out of the bedroom she asked me if I remembered ruining the desk chair right next to her side of the bed. 

[Beau Vine 55856]

2 hours ago, B00M said:

Early in my college career, after a late night of partying, I had the weirdest dream where the toilet I was pissing into kept turning into a desk chair, piss was splashing onto my legs and covering the floor of the bathroom.

The girlfriend slept in a bit longer than I did the next morning. When she came out of the bedroom she asked me if I remembered ruining the desk chair right next to her side of the bed. 

Hah, I did that in HS.  My mom came into the kitchen and asked why my chair was wet and my windows were open.  I had no answer.

[Born Burnt 6274]

Back in the day, I visited a friend who was attending summer school at A&M. Late one night we snuck into Kyle Field, sat in the middle of the field and drank a 12-pack of cheap beer. Then I peed on the 50-yard line.

[nnm 37893]

18 hours ago, B00M said:

Early in my college career, after a late night of partying, I had the weirdest dream where the toilet I was pissing into kept turning into a desk chair, piss was splashing onto my legs and covering the floor of the bathroom.

The girlfriend slept in a bit longer than I did the next morning. When she came out of the bedroom she asked me if I remembered ruining the desk chair right next to her side of the bed. 

She got it on video.