Swimmer dies after shark rips off his penis

[Pato del Muerto 52,543]

Probably has something to do with realizing that there might be really big marine animals right next to you and you have no idea they are there. 

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

11 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Probably has something to do with realizing that there might be really big marine animals right next to you and you have no idea they are there. 

Little fish mean there are bigger fish near by usually.......

[wood 11,231]

17 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

I swam in the ocean off Brazil once.  It was a rough day and the waves were really dropping in.  I was standing looking back towards the beach in about chest high water.  A fucking huge sea turtle poked its head out of the water right next to me.  I've never been in anything but a pool since.

Because of a sea turtle? Sea turtles are badass. We found some sea turtles last year near Isla Mujeres & went for a little swim with em. Good stuff.

[Stella Link 534]

18 hours ago, Don Keibals said:

Isn't this where Bruce Jenner went swimming?

No.  Bruce Jenner is what happens when you spend too much time with the Kardashians. 

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

23 minutes ago, Stella Link said:

No.  Bruce Jenner is what happens when you spend too much time with the Kardashians. 

Yep, parasites fuck up a lot more people than sharks.

[RomaVicta 29,953]

22 hours ago, wood said:

Because of a sea turtle? Sea turtles are badass. We found some sea turtles last year near Isla Mujeres & went for a little swim with em. Good stuff.

I'll field this question.

No, because of the surprise at seeing a big ugly head come out of the water near you. 

I was wade fishing up to my waist on the coast a million years ago. It was not something I often did. We were casting our lines into the deep ship channel presumably not far beyond us. SOMETHING came out of the water about 15 feet from me. It had eyes and a head as big as mine. I didn't bother to further identify the species. I was in his element which I changed as fast as I could.

I pushed the release button on the reel and made my way to shore in a barely controlled panic. It could have been a sea zombie for all I knew. 

On the shore. I realized it was a turtle. I hope my turds in the water didn't make him sick.

I've decided that I like being in water that I can see through or water that is shallow enough that I'm the biggest thing in the area.

Edited June 7, 2018 by RomaVicta
Clarity

[mulletpelini 5,214]

Yep, Roma nailed it.  The other part of the story I didn't mention is that a lifeguard had drowned the day before saving some stupid fucks who had gone out into closed beach conditions because of really dangerous undercurrents.  They hadnt located him yet and for all I knew, it was his corpse bobbing up right next to me.  Seriously, this things head was the same size as mine practically and it was struggling.  All I saw in my peripheral vision was the swimming dead.

Never fucking again, fuck that shit.